...in which past tends to repeat itself

special treat - my entry for Infinite Secret Santa 2013

given prompt: DongJong at the cinema

Dongwoo/Sungjong

4350 words

dedicated to LittleSushi

Goosebumps started to break out on his skin as he nervously chewed on his lip. His eyes were already watering, his vision changing into a blur as he didn’t dare blink. It was real, so real, and his voice was finally starting to betray him as he struggled to let out whimpers and cries. His heart was pounding inside his head so loudly he barely heard anything else and he felt tiny beads of sweat breaking out on his palms.

He wanted to scream for help, but as far as he could see there was no one. No one who would hold out a hand for him, no one who would save him from the certain death that was approaching. There still was that tiny voice inside his head that read his thoughts aloud to him and it was telling him it was time to snap out of it, to break free from it and run. And he was deaf.

“He’s perfect.” he heard those voices again and again. “So perfect.”

But how did he get there? Who were those people? Why did he have to die?

It was so real and it made no sense.

It should hurt me, he thought to himself as he was thrown to the concrete. Nothing hurt him any more, he felt nothing. For a small child like him, he gave up on life quickly as the pain of it all became so immense that it started to be insignificant. He couldn’t move, his body became numb and the only thing that his brain was still capable of noticing was his own blood pooling under him. He saw it and it felt kind of nice. The voices were getting quieter and harder to tell apart, there was no pain any more and his vision was getting darker and darker.

And so he thought that it maybe wasn’t the end. That maybe a nap for an hour or two could actually make him feel better, make the fatigue go away. That after sleeping he’d have enough energy to go out and play with his friends and live on.

Being satisfied with that picture, he soon failed to remain conscious any longer.

Dongwoo snapped out of his memories once a hand landed on the table right in front of his face with a quite loud bang. He jumped slightly and immediately looked up, blinking rapidly as if seeing the person for the first time in his life.

“I don’t pay you for sleeping, Dongwoo.” the man spoke, sighing.

The said boy immediately felt guilty, because seeing disappointment in the eyes of a person you keep close is worse than having them yell. He played with his fingers a bit as he collected the courage bit by bit to actually say something.

“I wasn’t sleeping.” he murmured to himself, sadly it was not loud enough for the other to hear. “Sorry, Sunggyu-hyung.” he said, louder. “But it’s not that big of a deal, I mean, it’s lifeless here.” he added, pointing all around the place where not one living creature could be seen aside from the two of them.

Sunggyu sighed yet again. “I know, but this shouldn’t be happening.” he stated, sounding nicer.

“Sorry.” the younger muttered, looking down at his fingers fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“It’s okay.” Sunggyu smiled widely before patting Dongwoo on the shoulder. “Now back to work.” he added before getting up and walking away.

And Dongwoo watched as Sunggyu’s retreating figure was slowly disappearing from his sight until he was left alone in the hall that was lacking life. All there was, that would represent people a bit, were mixed voices coming from far away; there were so many of them, having fun, chatting, hanging out with friends and shopping for presents even though it was just half of November.

When he thought back to his past, which was happening more and more often as time flew, he remembered things no one would like to hear about. Things that made people shiver when he told them, things that made them pity him and he didn’t want to be pitied. Dongwoo had always been a cheery person, however people had always tended to overlook that when his feigned, bright smile wasn’t convincing.

All those years back to the past, he thought, he was so, so very little back then - not everyone would remember all that had happened to him, or they would just push it out of their minds and much to his bitterness, he did remember and never had the strength to push. It was a hot night, halfway through July back then and little Dongwoo had a nightmare. There were men, tall men covered in muscles, and their faces were hidden in shadows.

There was darkness, cold and heavy air. There were the men and their heartless, cold laughter echoing through the air that lacked oxygen. There was blood and pain going hand in hand with tears and useless screams. There were things that didn’t make sense; a child’s clothes scattered all over the rock-hard ground, painful cries that pierced even through hearts made of stone and hideous grins that stole all the hope away. There was no light and no help coming and so he gave up.

When little Dongwoo woke up from that nightmare thanks to nice men in uniforms and their pretty cars that had blue and red lights shining on tops, he found out it wasn’t a nightmare at all, that all that he saw in that dream had really happened and even back then, Dongwoo wondered how was it possible that he was still alive, how it all could have been so real and make no sense at the same time, because he remembered every detail.

The answer never came.

His parents and sisters were babying him, trying to nurse his wrecked, young mind back to its original state. However, even for a happy child Dongwoo was at that time, there were limits beyond which the damages couldn’t have been fixed. Dongwoo’s sobs were the only remains of his voice his family had heard since that day.

Only later he found out that they’d kidnapped him to blackmail his parents and the criminals were not caught.

“Hyung!”

He snapped out of his trance and took a sharp turn around, grinning immediately, because he knew that voice oh so very well. Bad memories were long forgotten and good ones took place.

“Jongie!” he exclaimed and watched as the boy made his way through the empty hall, right towards him.

Dongwoo himself meanwhile hopped to the other side of the counter to greet his boyfriend, who, deliberately of course, did not step on the brakes of his feet and crashed right into the elder, who didn’t mind the slightest bit. Because they both were obviously used to it and naturally, such ‘traffic accidents’ evolved into long hugs where they would usually smile widely to themselves, feeling warmth spreading inside.

As if on cue back then, when they were little, Sungjong miraculously appeared in Dongwoo’s life and it was him who made all those bad things go away. It was him who made Dongwoo see the colours of the world again and it was him who made his voice come back. And so it began. It took an unimaginable amount of time, many nights when they had abandoned sleep just to make Dongwoo happy again.They succeeded and the time they spent together did magic to their friendship.

There was a time when Dongwoo believed that Sungjong was sent by someone to bring him out of the shadows.

Them starting to see each other in a different way than in the friendly one had no extraordinary beginning like they like to show in movies or cliché dramas. It was simple, quick and they both loved it just like they loved each other.

But sometimes, Dongwoo loved a little too much.

“What are you doing here so soon?” Dongwoo asked once they pulled away. “The movie starts later, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, it does. Can’t I just see you sooner?” Sungjong pouted.

“You never do that.” Dongwoo stated, raising his brow at him.

“Liar.” Sungjong puffed his cheeks. “But I noticed that you, my dearest dinosaur, bought tickets for the wrong film.” he added, handing the tickets over.

“Let me see.” the elder let his eyes fly on the tickets, seeing nothing wrong. “These are exactly the tickets I wanted to buy.”

“Thought you didn’t fancy thrillers.”

“I still don’t, but you do.” Dongwoo grinned.

Sungjong chuckled at the statement. “Have you been hanging out with Woohyun-hyung lately?”

“Of course, we work together! It’s his day off today, though.” the elder pouted.

“Doesn’t matter! His grease is contagious.”

Dongwoo laughed loudly, his voice echoing through the hall. That was right the thing he loved about their relatioship. Nothing much had really changed from when they were just friends, we could say that just more activities were added. They still talked to each other like best friends normally would, they laughed together like best friends would, they were there for each other like best friends should. And it all was supported by ‘I love you’ coming from each side.

“Anyway, when is your shift over?” Sungjong asked then, taking the tickets back from the elder.

“In two hours.” Dongwoo answered, grinning.

“Good then, I’ll go and shoo hyungs away and accompany you here, because this place is so lifeless you could die here and no one would notice.”

Dongwoo chuckled. “Okay.” he said before leaning in and kissing the younger gently, having him respond to the contact immediately. In fact, it was always Sungjong who dominated their kisses and it was yet again proved right after he had pushed the elder against the counter, turning a light kiss into a heavy make out session in a matter of seconds.

Needless to mention that Sungjong being dominant and all that came with it was one of Dongwoo’s favourite things about the younger boy. However, he had never had the stomach to tell the boy what had actually happened all those years back in the past, what was the thing that made him stop talking, what was the thing that broke him in the middle.

But Sungjong knew everything and Dongwoo was oblivious.

Dongwoo didn’t even remember when exactly he had