...in which pain relieves

Myungsoo/Sungyeol

5370 words

inspired by: > click <

dedicated to naznew

“Ow!”

Myungsoo hissed in pain as he watched how the drop of burning oil setting on his hand reddening the spot. He glared at the frying bacon on the pan for a second before continuing to flip it in silence whilst a colourful profanity escaped his lips from time to time.

He took his time, after all, willingly waking up earlier to make breakfast for once must have taken some willpower and so he could as well make the breakfast visually appealing. Even with slight difficulties, he managed to arrange the food neatly making it look more like a piece prepared to be put in an exhibition in a gallery.

Perfectly satisfied with his masterpiece, he put the plate on a tray where a cup with coffee was already prepared and with careful steps he aimed for his and certain Lee Sungyeol’s bedroom. Somehow, he had to put more concentration to balancing the tray on one hand as to help himself open the door with the other. However once he’d managed to do so, a lovely sight met his eyes.

Naturally, Sungyeol was still in the same position; his blanket pulled up high, covering half of his face, his still closed eyes were hidden behind his messed up hair and his limbs were stretched all over the bed, peeking from under the blanket. The only sounds flying through the air in the room were light snores, their source being the peaceful figure tangled in the sheets. Myungsoo couldn’t help but grin goofily at the sight.

As quietly as possible it was, he stepped inside the room and closed the door behind him with the help of his leg which appeared to be a huge mistake as the door closed quite loudly. And as it was a very well-known fact that Sungyeol had sleep as light as the tiniest of feathers could be, Myungsoo cursed his clumsy self when his boyfriend on the bed started to move and let out soft whines and grunts.

Sungyeol ruffled his hair lazily before wobbling up into a sitting position with the blanket still covering his face up to the bridge of his nose. Once the cloth fell down to his lap, he noticed that his shirt was slipping off his shoulder, exposing more of his skin than was necessary for such a morning. Pulling the collar back to its place, he immediately noticed Myungsoo standing by the door with a rather wide tray in his hands.

“Morning.” he smiled sweetly.

Myungsoo returned the smile. “Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.” he sang and went to put the tray down on a nightstand by Sungyeol’s side.

Myungsoo noticed that Sungyeol was just about to say something and so he reached out and made him forget the words by pulling him into a nice good morning kiss. Sungyeol wasn’t used to being treated like a king, especially not in the mornings as it was usually him of the two of them who woke up earlier, but he certainly couldn’t complain when getting a breakfast in bed served with a kiss as a cherry on top by his disgustingly handsome boyfriend.

He hummed in content, his hand subconsciously going up to cup the other’s face; he could never get bored of the way Myungsoo’s kisses felt even when they were just small pecks.

“Mm. I could get used to this.” he whispered against the other’s lips when they pulled away, which, in Sungyeol’s sincere opinion, was far too quick.

“Don’t.” Myungsoo joked, pecking the other once more before completely peeling himself away.

Sungyeol pouted, but he liked the twists his insides made every time they kissed. “What’s the occasion, by the way?” he asked, stabbing a piece of sliced banana with a fork.

Myungsoo grinned. “It’ll come to you.”

Sungyeol blinked innocently. Despite his usual self, he was not as wise when it came to mornings. Then however, he spotted a callendar hanging on the wall behind Myungsoo. It was nearing to the last day of August that year and almost all of the days had been crossed out. Suddenly, realisation made its way across his face.

Oh.

“Happy birthday, baby.” Myungsoo beamed before climbing up to the bed as well, perfectly willing to spend the day in it.

Sungyeol suddenly wished he had birthday every day.

---

He stared at the plate in front of him with disgust.

It was a morning like any other; the world was halfway through September which would usually come with sunny days and temperatures around ten to twenty Celsius whilst the nature would be dressing up for the upcoming winter. End of summer would usually bring happiness, children filling playgrounds and parks overflowing with couples and families.

Usually it would be like that and in the majority of people’s eyes it really was so.

 Myungsoo however was robbed of the ability to see the colours the world offered. He no longer saw how beautiful the trees could be when the green was slowly turning to yellow, orange, red and brown. He was no longer able to see how bright kids’ faces could get when they were having a good time with their friends. In his eyes the world was dimmed, colours turned down, light away by a strange force that liked to call itself ‘death’.

 And the saddest part of it all was that he didn’t care anymore.

He was being constantly pushed by his friends - or so they liked to call themselves - to take care of himself, to eat properly again, to get back to life, to move on. He had never replied them in any way, but never had he seen any marks of giving up on him on their faces. Yet after some time, he stopped wondering why. Why they still cared. Why they bothered themselves with such an useless being he was. Why he was still there to let them bother themselves.

Those questions soon stopped to make sense to him and so he, as well, stopped asking.

A thought had been planted to his mind and it grew to be something far more consequential that he’d think. For when a thought evolves, it poisons the person’s mind and changes them in general. And so it happened that Myungsoo started to wonder how it was possible that he hadn’t thought of it before. His mind was no longer panicking, alarmed and frightened, but calm and organised; he was able to breathe again.

He threw one last glance at the untouched plate before taking it and disposing the food. He immediately strode out of the kitchen, not looking back once. The only thing he took with him was his wallet; his phone and keys were left placed where they belonged. After all he wouldn’t be returning to the place again.

He was leaving everything behind.

Cold air hit him immediately as he exited the building he lived in, but it wasn’t like he cared. His steps were fast, eyes focused on the path he had ahead. As soon as he got to the bus stop, the number he needed was approaching. This must be it, he thought.

‘This is it. I’m leaving.’

He took the seat at the very back of the vehicle, curling up in the corner and let his eyes settle on the city passing by outside the window. A soft smile ran across his lips as once again he had some light shining at the back of the tunnel again.

---

The clock showed twenty-one minutes past eight in the evening. It was dark in the living room as it was illuminated only by a few candles as the power had unexpectedly gone out. Needless to point out it was also quite romantic, but somehow, that was just a side fact. Somehow, there were more important facts to pay attention to.

Myungsoo was stretched on their sofa, subconsciously Sungyeol’s hair as the elder was cuddled up to his side, fast asleep. And Myungsoo was thinking. About how they’d met, about their first date and kiss, about their relationship in general. Because something had gone missing; something that gave the energy to the whole thing; something was gone and Myungsoo felt it and he was sure that Sungyeol felt it as well.

Something had taken their happiness away; Sungyeol’s happiness, to be precise. It wasn’t sudden, though, yet it was slowly progressing and taking the warmth away. Because as time went, Sungyeol had stopped smiling as much as Myungsoo was used to him doing so, he had stopped ranting about anything that came to his mind, he had stopped doing almost everything that made him Sungyeol.

As time went, Myungsoo had realised that it was mostly Sungyeol who was giving their relationship energy, some kind of power to keep going on. And it had been fading away in painfully small pieces to the point where there was nearly nothing. Only then had Myungsoo realised that it was gone.

He looked down at Sungyeol’s sincere sleeping face as a heavy sigh escaped his lips. He stopped his hand in its movements and just rested it on the top of Sungyeol’s head.

“Be happy, Yeollie.” he half-whispered to the sleeping boy. “You have to be happy for us both.”

---

Memories were washing over as he was still staring out of the window, not really watching the city pass by. Tears were stinging in his eyes, but not enough to spill over.

There were so many regrets, so many things he could’ve done, so many opportunities that could’ve saved them both. Every time he imagined the two of them being back together, having Sungyeol safely back in his arms, being able to see his face again... it used to hurt. But soon the pain became so great that it became so small, nearly insignificant and he felt nothing.

As he kept thinking, soon the bus was slowing down to pull at another stop. Myungsoo looked out of the window and finally, the tear slipped out and rolled down to his chin.

The bus stopped across from one of the four branches of Seoul National University Hospital.

---

“I’m... sorry?”

Myungsoo felt the air around himself tightening as he shakily but still held his phone near his ear. The longer he lived, the more people seemed to talk nonsense, he noted. Nonetheless, he sincerely hoped that what he heard from the other end of the line was just a joke or someone pulling a prank on him. Because it just couldn’t be true.

He threw the phone on the sofa once the information was repeated and he made sure he heard it right, and he stormed out right away. He was there just in time to sit on the right bus and let himself get taken where he needed. The whole ride, he kept shaking in fear and muttering to himself why the hell the bus was going so slow when obviously he was in a rush.

‘They found him with an empty bottle for pills.’

Sungyeol was spending a few days with his family and so was Myungsoo, therefore their relationship was limited to texting and phone calls for the time being. Myungsoo would have never thought that Sungyeol was capable of harming himself in any way; he remembered well that once, Sungyeol had kept whining for a day when he accidentaly hit his head on a doorframe.

Upon recalling that memory, tears welled up in his eyes. Good old times, he thought bitterly; everything had been still going from bad to worse and Myungsoo was starting to lose hope. They didn’t argue, they never did, but they stopped talking to each other as if there wasn’t anything to talk about and so their evenings were immersed in rather uncomfortable silence.

That was until Sungyeol’s brother made a call and Sungyeol was suddenly packing things as he was going to spend a week with his family. Myungsoo had felt quite confused at that time because at one hand, there’d been sadness that Sungyeol was going away and on the other hand, there was some kind of relief. Back then, he had thought that maybe a week apart could make them some good and it was even going well as the phone calls were not awkward or monotonous at all.

But then Daeyeol called again.

When the bus finally stopped near the hospital Sungyeol was taken to according to Daeyeol’s words, Myungsoo raced there with the speed of light, not even watching out for cars as he was crossing the street. He could still hear the angry drivers behind him as he sprinted through the entrance door right to the reception, where the nurse didn’t even look startled. Perhaps she was used to worse cases.

“Lee Sungyeol,” he almost screamed at her. “Where’s he?!”

The nurse gave him a raised brow as she scanned him from he