...in which roses wilt and violets die

Myungsoo/Sungyeol + Woohyun/Sunggyu

15151 words, previously posted here along with a poster and everything else

inspired by: > click <

dedicated to heartsparks

Lee Sungyeol awoke to the rays of sunglight lazily peering through the curtains, hitting his heavy eyelids. Reluctantly he slowly rolled on the bed, pulling a blanket over his head in the process to shield his precious eyes from the killing light. Yawning widely, he stretched his long limbs and wobbled into sitting position, blinking rapidly to kick the sleep from his eyes (which didn’t quite work for him).

Glancing at the clock however, the sleepiness disappeared fastly and the boy let out a terrified gasp. It was already past ten in the morning, which meant whole day of receiving death glares, cold responses and eventually getting ignored from a certain someone, who just happened to be his very punctual boyfriend. And as expected, one of the things he hated the most was when people arrived late. Especially when it came to certain Lee Sungyeol.

In short, Sungyeol was in one deep .

He dashed to the bathroom to take a quick shower and brush his teeth in the speed of light. The day obviously didn’t have a good start for him, which was proved when a toothpaste tube fell from his hands and he accidentaly stepped on it when trying to grab it again. As a result, the bathroom floor got polished by mint toothpaste that morning and also there was a whole lot of colourful swearings escaping Sungyeol’s mouth.

He scanted his breakfast and proceeded to drink just a glass of milk, which also fell as a victim for his clumsiness. He gave up on touching anything that could get broken (since he accidently pushed a vase and it shattered also) and snatched his phone to look why the damn thing didn’t wake him up when it was supposed to. And he facepalmed himself right away. The battery was dead. Now he was sure he had tons of missed calls and threatening text messages saying that if he doesn’t move his , then that very same will end in the deepest hole of burning hell by the end of that day.

Sungyeol sighed, tossing his phone onto his bed since he really didn’t have the time to charge it, grabbed his wallet, keys and dashed out.

Freezing air outside was like a punch to his face, which was still a bit flushed with sleep. But what else could he expect in the middle of January, right? While letting his long legs take him where he was supposed to be for already an hour, his mind still produced  more and more horrible scenarios of his future death that also might come to him within the following few hours.

It’s Kim Myungsoo we are talking about here, people.

It wasn’t like Myungsoo was going to yell at Sungyeol (which would be better at times). No. He was going to torture him with almost deafening silence and complete ignorance. Sungyeol hated it and felt guilty every time situation like that occurred and Myungsoo himself knew that pretty well.

He knew he was being kind of unfair to Sungyeol, because he never really was that angry, but it always somehow amused him to watch Sungyeol being all desperate when trying to catch at least a glimpse of his attention.

And Sungyeol knew about it also. He knew that Myungsoo’s ignorace was just a façade. But he still tagged along and played the game with him. And so did Myungsoo.

We can say they were just bored and in love enough to play stupid games like that. Needless to say they loved each other unconditionally, knowing secret ways of how to make the other forgive them after doing something that really was worth anger. They knew everything about the other from A to Z and yet they still found themselves falling in love with one another anew every single day.

Sungyeol ran down the street, his eyes already catching the sign of the café where Myungsoo was still waiting for him. But he stopped all of sudden, when he saw something he never did before. As he was passing by the various shops, he stopped in front of one, which most probably was new there.

‘Florist’s shop?’ he thought, curiously looking through the shop window, seeing a florist girl standing behind the counter, rearranging lilies in the vase. Then an idea struck his excessively clever mind and he stepped inside the shop, already pulling out his wallet. Myungsoo certainly wouldn’t expect an apology gift, he smiled to himself, approaching the girl whose attention was still focused on the lilies.

“Hello.” Sungyeol greeted, amusedly watching the girl’s surprised expression.

“Oh, hello. I’m sorry I didn’t see you. How can I help you, sir?” she asked, smiling shyly.

“Just two red roses, please. The prettiest ones you have here.” Sungyeol grinned, watching the girl disappearing behind the piles of green. He inwardly praised himself. It’d been a while since he bought Myungsoo something like a flower despite the fact he knew exactly what kind Myungsoo liked the most - blood-like roses.

“Here you go, sir. Is that going to be all?” she returned with two roses in her hands.

“Yes, thank you.” Sungyeol snapped out of his thinking and paid for the flowers. They really were pretty; not too small, not too big either, not too dark, not too light. Just perfect.

He then took one of the roses and was about to go.

“Sir, you forgot the second one!” the girl called after him.

Sungyeol turned around, flashing her a smile. “That one is for you.” he said and left the shop.

The very moment Sungyeol stepped into the café, where Myungsoo sat for nearly one hour and half already, he immediately went to his table, grinning widely. That apparently surprised the other, but he didn’t show it.

“Where were you?” Myungsoo asked, effectively hiding the happiness he actually felt.

Sungyeol however kept quiet. Instead of some crappy apology he would say at any other time he made one long step closer to the younger boy, slowly bending down to have their faces at the same level, his arms unconspiciously folded behind his back, holding the rose. Myungsoo stared at him, not even blinking. So did Sungyeol before he quickly leaned closer, pressing a soft peck on Myungsoo’s cheek.

Even when he pulled his lips away from the boy’s face, he stayed like that for a while longer, having their cheeks pressed against each other. Sungyeol’s breath tickled Myungsoo’s ear, sending chills down his spine. Sungyeol always acted rather all cute and cuddly, even in public. He hardly ever was like this, all mysterious and stuff. Especially in public.

“Sorry I’m late, Soo.” he whispered, slowly pulling away from Myungsoo’s face, staring at him again, grinning widely.

Myungsoo blinked few times, trying to process what in the world was going on. For a second he just wanted to jump from the chair he was sitting on and scream who was that person and what did they do with his Sungyeol, but on the other hand, this side of the elder was something Myungsoo liked. Quite a lot.

“Is there something on my face?” he asked sheepishly, when Sungyeol didn’t blink for kind of long time.

“No.” Sungyeol replied briefly, in all seriousness.

“So what’s your excuse this time?” Myungsoo coughed awkwardly, gesturing for Sungyeol to sit down.

“I don’t have any. I somehow don’t want to blame everything on the poor thing I call my cell-phone.” Sungyeol said, still grinning. It actually started to be scary.

“And… That’s all?” Myungsoo raised his eyebrow in disbelief. Sungyeol’s apologies were always a bit longer and he always blamed it on someone or something. Something was fishy.

“No. You can blame it on that new shop down the street.” Sungyeol chuckled, completely amused by Myungsoo’s failed attempts to stay cool with everything. When instead of looking cool, like he always tried, he rather looked unbearably adorable.

“What?”

“Yeah. They made me buy this for you.” Sungyeol finally pulled the rose from behind his back.

Myungsoo really did try his best and keep the corners of his mouth down to maintain his cold facial expression, but he failed miserably. He'd always failed, whenever Sungyeol was too cute for him to resist. Myungsoo gave up and let his face soften, feeling a shy smile finally overtaking his lips as he slowly reached out his hand to take the rose.

“Idiot.”

Roses are red, violets are blue

sugar is sweet and perhaps so are you.

A lot later that day, after Myungsoo walked Sungyeol home, spending another half an hour at the doorstep arguing over a movie they should watch tomorrow, Myungsoo slowly led his steps home. Fate was kind enough to let the two of them live only three blocks away from each other, so even if they walked slowly, they were at the other’s place within fifteen minutes.

Myungsoo was grateful for that day that was slowly coming to an end. It was one of those days again when he literally felt the time running faster, while he spent it with the overgrown child. It wasn’t like Myungsoo wasn’t childish - because he was. Especially around Sungyeol. They both were childish enough to play hide and seek in the park or go fetch themselves an ice-cream in the middle of winter. They didn’t care. They had their world, they locked themselves in and threw the key away.

However, life isn’t a fairytale. There is no ‘happily ever after’ unless you’re really lucky. It’d been proved to Myungsoo more than enough times since his childhood. Everything has its dark side and the love Sungyeol and Myungsoo shared was not an exception. No one except Myungsoo knew about that dark corner in their world full of rainbows. No one knew.

Everything has seemed just okay, as if his issues from before were long forgotten in the past. Myungsoo thought so, until the previous Saturday’s evening, when he got a phone call he’d been scared to get. A call he has been wishing not to receive for four years.

The boy shook his depressive thoughts off and walked faster towards his apartment, still lovingly observing the rose Sungyeol gave him. Once he was home, he put the rose in a vase and threw himself on his old, but the most comfortable couch he ever laid his on and casually flipped through TV channels. It wasn’t like he cared about the sappy stuff that was on just like every other weekday. He didn’t.

And his thoughts slowly drifted back to somewhere where he pondered his once again miserable life. Just when he thought nothing can go wrong. Just when he thought he wouldn’t have to tell Sungyeol about everything… The call came and shattered everything. Even though he had been told that he’d get another call in few days, Myungsoo already knew where it was going. Everything he treasured shattered into pieces and he couldn’t do anything about it anymore.

Then his phone buzzed on the table in front of him.

Myungsoo just glanced at the caller’s name and his heart almost stopped beating, while his spine had shivers running it down again. He reached out for the device, staring at it for a while before hesitantly hitting the green button, picking the call up.

“Sunggyu-hyung?” he called to the phone, trying to sound at least a little calm.

“Hey, Myung.” Sunggyu greeted back and from the tone he used, Myungsoo assumed that everything has turned into ashes deep down in hell even before he picked the call. Sunggyu was Myungsoo’s older step-brother and the only one who got him through their tough life when they were kids left without parents. Sunggyu now worked as a policeman, which quite helped Myungsoo in his not-so-good situation.

“What’s up?” Myungsoo asked, almost forgetting how to breathe.

“They’re fast, Myung. Faster than I thought. It’s bad.” Sunggyu sighed to the phone.

“…I can’t deny I expected it.” Myungsoo admitted, sighing also. “Can’t you do something with them, hyung?” he asked pleadingly, almost begging.

“You know I can’t. If I could I wouldn’t even tell you about it in the first place.” Sunggyu answered.

“What am I supposed to do?” Myungsoo asked then, hoping for Sunggyu to give him some advice.

“You need to disappear. At least for some time. That’s all I can recommend. Advantage is on their side Myung. Going abroad would be the best option for now.” Sunggyu said sadly. He didn’t want to leave everything to his brother, but he really couldn’t do anything else.

“… I can’t just go away and leave everything here.” Myungsoo half-whispered, on the verge of tears as the image of Sungyeol’s gummy smile appeared in his mind.

“Do whatever you think is right. Just don’t do anything stupid. There are still people who care about you. Don’t forget about that.”

“I know, hyung. Thanks.”

“It’s going to be okay. I know it.” Sunggyu tried to at least encourage the younger, because he, as his brother knew what Myungsoo was facing better than anyone else.

Without answering, Myungsoo ended the call, throwing his phone across the room, smashing it into pieces. He shouted in frustration, grabbing his hair with both of his hands, nearly pulling them out. Despite how much he wanted to cry, not even single teardrop appeared in his eyes as he buried his face in the pillow that was innocently placed next to him.

Even with Sunggyu’s rather useless advice, Myungsoo knew exactly what he was going to do. Even though it was the very last thing he’d ever want to do. It was the only way how to keep Sungyeol away from any harm.

“It must have been something serious when you’re ten minutes late.” Sungyeol teased after finally spotting his boyfriend standing behind his door.

“Sorry.” Myungsoo apologized quietly, flashing Sungyeol small smile. “I brought you these. You know, as a payback.” he added then, pulling a boquet of violets from behind his back. He watched the choding getting excited about the flowers, ten minutes long forgotten. Myungsoo really did enjoy every time Sungyeol showed him his gums when forming that contagious smile. However now he felt like all the world’s problems have been thrown on his shoulders and he wasn’t even able to return the smile.

Myungsoo didn’t have any particular reason why he was late, despite him being always everywhere exactly on time. He would have made it on time, if he only hadn’t tried  to delay everything that was still yet to come. But even those ten short minutes were an opportunity to enjoy the fact that he’d enjoy Sungyeol’s presence again. At least for a while. It was an opportunity to pretend there was nothing standing in their way to happiness. At least for a while.

“Are you not coming in?” Sungyeol grinned then, pulling the absent-minded Myungsoo inside, putting the flowers on the table beside them. “Thank you, Soo. They’re beautiful.” he added after a while, once Myungsoo got the coat off himself as well as the shoes. He didn’t even have the time to look up again and Myungsoo found himself wrapped in Sungyeol’s embrace, his lips softly moving against his own.

Myungsoo immediately threw his arms around Sungyeol too, running one of his hands through his hair, pulling their bodies unbelievably close. As they slowly made their way further to the house - to Sungyeol’s bedroom to be more specific - the kisses grew hungrier, leaving both of them letting out shameless mewls and sighs, occasionally whispering sweet nothings in between the kisses.

“M-Myung…” Sungyeol stammered, once he was pushed on his bed, with Myungsoo crawling on the top of him, showering his face with butterfly kisses. The younger just hummed in response as his lips and tongue were kind of busy to produce understandable words.

“Let’s not make it rushed.” Sungyeol said quietly then, almost whispering in embarrassement as the words he’d said just then sounded way stupider than they did in his head.

Myungsoo stopped and hovered about the elder for a while, his lips tugging into playful smirk. It felt so awesomely right and somehow amusing to see a flushed Sungyeol underneath him, still panting for air a bit.

“You’re so beautiful, Yeollie.” he whispered then, slowly and lovingly pressing his lips against Sungyeol’s once again, yet it wasn’t leading to any heavy make out session. “You know I love you, right?” he asked, suddenly serious once they broke the kiss.

“Of course I know. I love you too, Soo.” Sungyeol grinned widely once again, but Myungsoo’s facial expression was as if frozen. Sungyeol’s confession made him want to cry again. It again, reminded him of what was yet to happen. But Sungyeol didn’t know and it was definitely going to be kept that way. “I love you so much, you can’t even imagine it.” he added then, throwing his arms around Myungsoo’s back and pulling him down, clutching him as one human-sized plushie.

And despite that he should be happy, Myungsoo felt like crying more than ever before.

The evening approached quickly, neither of them noticed the time passing that quickly, being too preoccupied cuddling with each other, watching B-grade comedies.

Myungsoo had this strange, bad feeling in his gut since about five in the afternoon. It felt like he had swallowed a bit too large bite and it wanted to come out again. With every minute that passed, the feeling was getting still worse. But Myungsoo knew  why was his body behaving that way. He abruptly untangled his fingers from Sungyeol’s, withdrew his arm from behind his waist and stood up.

“Where are you going?” Sungyeol asked, pouting cutely.

“Bathroom.” Myungsoo smiled a little and strode out of the living room, earning a smack on his in the process. To that, he couldn’t help but grin also. However the feeling of mixed happiness and sadness wouldn’t go away.

Once he closed the bathroom door behind his back, he finally let his body slide against the door and broke down to tears. Myungsoo had always known that life was merciless and he was apparently the favourite one among the seven billion of people on Earth to be tortured. Ever since his childhood everything went straight to hell.

He and Sunggyu had the same mother, who was taking care of them along with Myungsoo’s father, since Sunggyu’s father had apparently no interest in his son. However their mother passed away after Sunggyu started to go to school and Myungsoo’s father left them in the orphanage instead of taking care of them himself.

Sunggyu was the only one he had since then, a real family. They made it through life just barely. Neither of them did complain though. They both believed that miss Fortune will show them her smile one day. And that actually happened when Myungsoo met Sungyeol two years ago and after the two of them got together, they helped Sunggyu to get together with Woohyun, who was Sungyeol’s best friend.

Myungsoo then found out that his father had also passed away; the cause of death was murder. Even though he should have, Myungsoo didn’t feel any sorrow back then. It brought him some strange kind of relief, when he had realised that half of his problems had suddenly disappeared along with his father.

He had Sungyeol, Sunggyu and Woohyun with him there. They were all supporting him as well as he did the same. They filled the empty space in his heart.

But the previous week, Sunggyu called Myungsoo, sadly not to talk about how annoying Woohyun’s aegyo got. Back then, Sunggyu had a lot worse news. Miss Fortune had turned her back on Myungsoo again and his dark past arose to the surface of Earth. And that was the reason why Myungsoo was letting all those tears he has always held in out. He didn’t even try to get a hold of himself.

Once the tears stopped flowing and Myungsoo felt like he couldn’t even speak anymore, he stood up, trying to get his balance and stared at his wrecked reflection in the mirror. He got disgusted by the sight and turned away from it. Pulling a piece of paper he had prepared for that night, he read the words written on it all over again, as if reassuring himself that it was the right thing to do.

He opened the door again, peering to the living room just to see Sungyeol there, almost dying of laughter as some joke was being said in the TV. Myungsoo smiled sadly at the sight before quietly tip-toeing to the kitchen, where the violets were put after their make out session. He put the paper in between two of the flowers then, sighing.

“You know I love you, right?” he whispered to no one, unconsciously the petals. When he felt tears threatening to fall again, he spared one last glance to Sungyeol before turning around and fastly disappearing from the house through the back door.

When it was noticeably long since Myungsoo had gone to the bathroom, Sungyeol started to be worried if the younger isn’t sick or something. He paused the movie and skipped to the bathroom, knocking on the door quietly.

“Myung? Are you okay?” he called, waiting for an answer.

Nothing.

“Myungsoo?” he called again. “Come on, you’re freaking me out.” he added, trying not to sound so worried.

And when only silence met his words again, Sungyeol didn’t wait and opened the door. He stiffened as he saw no one there, feeling anxiety spreading all over his insides.

“Myungsoo?!” he shouted on the top of his lungs, his mind already producing the worst scenarios of what could have happened to the younger. Again, no one answered and Sungyeol started to panic. He'd turned whole house upside down, but there was no trace of Myungsoo anywhere. The last chance was his phone. Yet Sungyeol didn’t know that Myungsoo’s phone was broken into pieces as the boy had smashed it agaist a wall the day before.

“The number you are calling is currently unreach--“

‘Great’ Sungyeol thought bitterly, tossing his phone to the side, letting tears fall. Maybe he was just overreacting. Maybe something urgent came up and Myungsoo had to leave quickly. Maybe…

Sungyeol didn’t know what could have happened that it made Myungsoo leave without saying anything. But maybe he was really just overreacting. Even the slightest spark of hope died within him, when he went to the kitchen, taking the violets to his hands. He noticed the paper that flew from there.

He picked it up.

He let his eyes run on the words written there.

And he knew he won’t be able to stop the tears anymore.

“Don’t look for me, Yeol. It’s the only way.”

For the following week Myungsoo honestly lived like a piece of trash. He wouldn’t come out of his apartment, not even from his bed. He had barely eaten one meal a day and shower has somehow become an unknown term for him. Like that he spent days and nights unable to sleep and unable to stop crying over what he’d done. It felt like decades he spent crying on his pillow which had been the only listener for the whole time.

An invisible knife had been sent right through his heart by his own hand the moment he stepped out of Sungyeol’s house that evening. Since then, he cut himself off any contact with the outside world.

He knew he was acting all selfish and childish towards Sunggyu at least, because he knew that his brother had too much work to do himself and he surely was also worried about him. Myungsoo was always one of those who were hard to handle and there were times he would lock himself in his little dark world, but it never lasted longer than three days.

Therefore, Sunggyu for sure was going insane.

Few days later Woohyun walked in the direction of Myungsoo’s apartment, early in the morning. Sunggyu really had been losing all his sanity during the days before, not to mention he as well was busy with work as his boss hadn’t stopped throwing piles of papers on his shoulders. Therefore, being an attentive boyfriend Woohyun was, the previous day when Sunggyu had come home, he'd asked him for a spare key to Myungsoo’s apartment, telling him he’d go and check up on him.

That evening Woohyun got babied and showered with love as Sunggyu was glad he wasn’t alone in it.

In Woohyun’s honest opinion, Myungsoo was acting more than weird. No one knew what had happened, which was even worse than if they knew. And beside the fact that he was a bit mad at Myungsoo, Woohyun couldn’t deny the fact that he was worried as well. Because Myungsoo wasn’t the only one who wasn’t reachable. Sungyeol too. As if they both disappeared into thin air.

Spare key was just a plan B in case Myungsoo wouldn’t come to open the door - which was most likely to happen. But Woohyun tried. He knocked on the door several times, but nothing happened, just like he'd expected. So he'd fished the key from his pocket within seconds and opened the door.

What greeted him however wasn’t a pleasant sight. The smell wasn’t pleasant either. Except the fact that the curtains were closed so it looked like a cave there, it almost gave off the feel like someone has barged in there, destroyed everything and died in a corner.

There was glass shattered everywhere, furniture was broken into pieces and turned all upside-down and in the midst of it all there was some liquid Woohyun didn’t want to know the name of on the floor and the walls. Staring at the disaster around him, Woohyun even wondered if he was at the right place for a second.

Not even bothering to take his shoes off - since the place needed some general cleaning and his feet won’t certainly get along with the glass on the floor well - he marched towards the door of Myungsoo’s room, banging on the it loudly.

“Yah! Kim Myungsoo! I swear to the mother of all hamsters if you won’t open that damn door I’m going to break your neck and that’s not something you want!” he shouted, quite imaptiently waiting for an answer. In all seriousness, Woohyun had expected Myungsoo would just ignore him, but surprise made its way to his face once he heard a quiet click from the other side of the door.

The moment a surprised Woohyun stepped into Myungsoo’s room, the boy’s devastated figure was just falling on the bed again. It was suddenly as if something switched within Woohyun that made all the anger fade away. Seeing that Myungsoo’s condition was that miserable, he realised that whatever it was that had happened was way more serious than he expected.

Obviously, Woohyun had noticed that there was something secret going on between Sunggyu and Myungsoo, but when he did ask Sunggyu about that, he merely shook his head, saying it was just some unimportant family business they had to take care of. And Woohyun didn’t press on. However as he was facing the disaster that barged into Myungsoo‘s apartment, he was sure something went very wrong and it definitely wasn’t unimportant.

“What happened to you?” Woohyun asked after a while, his voice softening.

Instead of an answer, Myungsoo just rolled on the bed, facing the wall. Woohyun sighed, the day definitely was going to be long. “Come on.” he pleaded, sitting on the bed beside the boy.

“What do you want, hyung?” came a muffled question as Myungsoo pressed his face into the pillow.

“I asked first.” Woohyun chuckled. Childish one. He had to give in after a while anyway, since Myungsoo didn’t find his childishness funny at all and did not answer. “Sunggyu-hyung is worried to death about you. And to be honest, seeing this dumpster makes me worried too.” he sighed, scanning Myungsoo’s rather neglected, unmoving body.

“I just did what he told me to.” Myungsoo answered, sighing.

“Don’t tell me he told you to test a nuclear weapon in your apartment.” Woohyun snorted. He was glad that Myungsoo answered, which was quite rare whenever the boy locked himself in.

“Don’t try to be funny. You’re not.” Myungsoo snapped, wobbling into sitting position. Even in the dim light that lingered in the room, Woohyun could see how pale the younger boy was and how red his eyes were.

“So? Will you tell me?” Woohyun tried again, trying not to sound so eager.

“It’s complicated, hyung…” Myungsoo turned to Woohyun completely. “It’s not like I don’t want to tell you, but…” he sighed, when seeing that definitely won’t work on the tree in front of him. “Basically, I broke up with Yeol.” he said then in barely hearable whisper, making Woohyun choke on air.

“No wonder you’re like this…” Woohyun muttered once he managed to control his breathing again. “It’s not my business so I won’t ask, but I told Gyu I’ll check up on you and there’s no way in deepest pit of hell I’m leaving this place like this.” he added then, playful smirk appaearing on his face. He had to supress the urge to ask what made Myungsoo break up with Sungyeol, since as far as he knew the two of them were more in love than him and Sunggyu which was quite something.

Myungsoo just growled in annoyance, falling back on the bed. He was grateful that Woohyun didn’t ask more and maybe cleaning the place was a way how to make him forget about the misery that was his life at least for a while.

Even so, he didn’t want Woohyun to be stuck with him for whole day.

“Go home, hyung. I’ll do this.” he tried to chase Woohyun away by his completely see-through and impossible-to-fullfil promises he’d clean everything up. He tried.

And Woohyun might have been stupid, but he wasn’t that stupid. His nagging side had awakened in him, needless to say he got that one dangerously soon after he got together with Sunggyu, and he started pulling Myungsoo out of the bed. Seeing that there was no use in it as Myungsoo effectively did whatever he could to stay in bed, Woohyun took it to threats.

“Get your lazy off that bed or I’ll go find a bucket with water and empty it on your damn head.” he threatened in low voice. That, after all, was one of the things Sunggyu taught him through time. And it seemed to work as Myungsoo slowly kicked himself into sitting position again, sighing.

The day indeed was going to be long.

By the afternoon, Woohyun somehow managed to succeed in making Myungsoo look like a human again and the apartment didn’t look that bad either anymore. It wasn’t like Myungsoo cared though. It was more like he found it cute that Woohyun was practically his housemaid for the day just for Sunggyu.

It reminded him of Sungyeol and their times spent together again.

“I promised Gyu-hyung that I’ll take you with me to see him so go and get dressed.” Woohyun called from the kitchen right when Myungsoo stepped out of the bathroom with a towel loosely hanging around his waist.

“I don’t want to.” Myungsoo growled stubbornly. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to see Sunggyu again, but knowing his brother too well, he knew that he’d have to spend the afternoon listening to his endless stream of questions and nags. He had already enough when nag-infected Woohyun showed up.

“Objection rejected.” Woohyun retorted. “You’re going.” he added, coming from the kitchen closer to Myungsoo, who all of sudden looked like kicked puppy. Woohyun softened. He knew that there was too big weight on Myungsoo’s shoulders now and yet he still kept giving him orders from the morning, while the boy silently complied.

“Look, Myung. He misses you. He’s worried sick about you and you can’t blame him. Endure it for once and come with me, okay?” Woohyun pleaded after a while of silence, placing his hand on Myungsoo’s bare shoulder.

“Okay.”

The meeting with Sunggyu didn’t go as bad as Myungsoo had expected, even when Sunggyu nagged like there was no tomorrow. Not to mention that Sunggyu nagged about his new phone that he got from Woohyun when they were on their way there. And even though Myungsoo had been reproached for being impossible, irresponsible and selfish jerk, the boy found himself smiling for the first time in that week that felt like millenium to him. That was something he needed all along. He just didn’t realise it.

A distraction.

To Myungsoo’s surprise, Sunggyu didn’t ask what happened. He was sure Woohyun was going to tell him anyway, therefore Myungsoo just enjoyed his little distraction that was brought to him by those two dorks who were so disgustingly cute that it made Myungsoo want to puke rainbows. But he was grateful. For once, he completely forgot about Sungyeol and just had fun shoving forks with pieces of cake to their throats.

Even though he didn’t know the details, Sunggyu knew that Myungsoo’s behaviour had to do something with the choding; he'd sensed it. And even though he had told Myungsoo not to do anything stupid before,it was more than crystal clear that the boy had done something far beyond stupid.

Aside from that, as Sungyeol was also out of reach, Sunggyu saw the worries plastered all over Woohyun’s face even when the boy tried to hide it. Sungyeol was his best friend after all and worried Woohyun was just a cherry on the top of Sunggyu’s pile of problems.

Sungyeol’s case was different since he did have a spare key, but he didn’t give to anyone. So no matter mow many times Woohyun tried to bang on his door, kick the door in or yell, no one would come and open up, making Woohyun go away with his head down. When he'd tried phone, there was absolutely no chance that Sungyeol would pick up or text back.

It’d been a week since Sungyeol did not hear anything about Myungsoo and in all honesty, the way he lived ever since was even worse than Myungsoo’s. It wasn’t like Sungyeol knew how miserable Myungsoo’s life was though. He didn’t even care anymore. But even so, he still kept the violets Myungsoo brought him last week… Even when they were completely dead, he still kept them.

As well as Myungsoo, he spent nights crying, continuously asking why did it happen. No one answered him and he himself was almost going crazy because he just couldn’t find out what the hell went wrong. He felt numb. Myungsoo with his face, body and smile already left his mind alone. And along with that Sungyeol lost the ability to feel anything too. At least he thought so.

He’d never felt so drained out of energy, so depressed, so messed up, so empty…

Everything had left him. The love the two of them shared before faded away through the week when he realised that it wasn’t just a nightmare. With that everything else faded. He wasn’t able to shed any more tears nor let out any more screams. He just wandered everywhere like a ghost, silent and unseen.

Every day since Myungsoo left was the same. Sungyeol would wake up, curse his life, ask what was his purpose on the planet, cry and eventually cry himself to sleep again. Sleep wasn’t the only thing that helped him get away from tiring and cruel reality. There was something else too.

A razor.

Before all this happened, Sungyeol kept saying that he would never do such thing as cutting to himself. But it didn’t matter to him anymore. Nothing mattered anymore. Whenever he re-opened any wound he had on his arms it somehow brought him relief. And pain.

Because feeling pain was better than feeling nothing at all. Because pai