It's midnight! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TSUKI! Today it will be  updates! Here is the first one!!! :D 

My wish upon the stars special Tsuki begins!!!! :D

<3<3<3

I was nervously playing with my fingers.

I was in the practice room for minutes but it already feels like hours!

-Talk already!

I flinched and looked at the one talking and was welcomed by the sight of a sweaty Jonghyun, leaning in the wall and looking straight at me with an annoyed look.

-You’re here to talk to me, right? Then talk!

His voice was sweeter now and he sounded to be able to listen to me so I simply nodded.

I opened my mouth but words were stuck in my throat.

I cursed myself in my head. Why does it have to happen now???

-What? You’re not talking? I’m losing my time with you then.

He walked and was going to go out of the room but when he passed next to me, I stopped him by holding his arm.

-I… I need to know.

My voice was unsure and terribly weak.

To say the truth, I was scared. Scared of hearing words I don’t want and won’t like. Scared of the truth that might slap me straight in the face… this horrible realization that comes right before the confession.

-I… love you Jonghyun-ah. And I know you do too!

He laughed bitterly and took his arm back with force.

-Don’t be full of yourself. He turned to face me but I couldn’t look at his mesmerizing eyes. I think breaking up with you told you everything about my current feeling!

-Lies! I said a little bit louder.

-Yes lies! He seemed sincere so I finally looked at him. I was lying to you with my false feeling for so long!

It… hurts.

My eyes were watering.

I promised to Eun Mi to not be hurt and to not cry but… this bad feeling was stronger than I.

-Don’t cry. His voice was sweet again and that was killing me the most. I didn’t want to hurt you but this is the truth.

The unwanted truth…

-Don’t lie...please!

… I couldn’t believe yet.

-You’re being annoyingly stubborn.

I didn’t reply back. I couldn’t. I didn't have the strength to.

-I’ll wait. Was all I could say.

-Don’t. But, I didn’t know you were the gluing kind! I knew it will be bad to date with a fan but I thought you were different.  We are adults Tsuki-ah, stop acting childishly and love me like a teenage fangirl!

He walked again but stopped at my words:

-So it was only this for you? My voice was so weak I didn’t know how he heard it. You really saw me like a fan when you dated me? You never saw me like Tsuki? So your love was indeed a lie?

Tears were still falling but this time my heart felt cold.

Jonghyun had just touched me in the weak part of my heart. The question that was in my mind during our relation:

“Does he see me like those crazy fans, doing everything on earth to just be noticed by him?”

I had the answer now… and I couldn’t even care to now if it was his true feeling or not. He just said it and his words were pain to me.

-I think… We should stop make a fool of ourselves. I know you still love me but don’t anymore. And if you still keep on, be silent at least and don’t expect anything from me.  I wish we can remain good friends and hope that you will forget me in a near future! Maybe it won’t be simple but try to. I’m glad to have a fan like you… Tsuki-ah.

The moment he stepped out of the room, my legs gave up on me and I fell miserably on the ground.

Words a person in love must never hear in his/her life by the person he/she admires the most.

If someone just comes and stabs me now, I wouldn’t care.

I felt ashamed, humiliated, betrayed… and deathly hurt.

Since when you’re letting yourself hurt like this Tsuki?

Since when are you weak like this?

-------------------------------------------------------

-Tsuki-ah! How was your talk with Jonghyun?

I was in front of Onew, in the record room where I told him to meet me.

-I will do it.

It took some time from him to understand and then he frowned.

-What? Something happened? Wait! Your eyes… did you cry?

I shook my head.

-I want him to suffer and make him regret his words!

Onew eyes widened but he nodded nevertheless.

-You're not thiking straight right now. You'll regret your words later.Let's wai-

-NO! I'm so sure of myself. He said those things...

I was angry, mad at him nut I couldn't still hate him for his word. But Onew seemed to understand me and in his eyes, I noticed a thing close to hatred for a second.

-I told him to not hurt you.

-He did it nevertheless.

-So do you agreeing on making him jealous?

-I want something worse that can make him regret his words.

He seemed surprised but it seems like he already had a solution to it too.

-So… Do you agreeing on making him regret his words… with me?

I frowned, don't understanding clearly. 

-Tsuki, will you go out with me?

My eyes widened.

We looked at each other’s for a while before his smirk gain me and made me smirk too.

I nodded once again.

That will do it... for sure.

As strong as love can be... revenge is always winning on everything. I want him to feel all my pain. I want him to feel what: "questionning our love and our past 2 years relation' is.