2 days since we debut and here we are Inkigayo show!

I didn’t have any discussion with Key and Onew Oppas since the one in the car.

Maybe he is right; Jonghyun and I know each other’s for some times, maybe Jonghyun just doesn’t want to hurt me that’s why he is avoiding me…

Maybe it’s because he has no more the same feelings that he broke up with me?

I ruffled my hair, totally frustrated because of thinking too much and sat on the couch.

-You’re lucky the stage ended, commented the scary cordi-eonni, otherwise I would have killed you for the mess you just did to your poor hair that I HAVE done.

I smile slightly a little bit scared.

-Mian Eonni~ I won’t do it again, promise~

-Aegyos don't owrk with me!

And then, I was left alone…

I sighed and decided to leave the room to look for Eun Mi, who was supposed to say “Hi” to some idols who were her friends back in her trainee time.

I think she knows a girl from Girl’s day?

So she might be there.

I walked for a long time before I finally realized I should have asked for help to the manager… Now I’m lost.

I didn’t know it was THIS huge!

I sighed and kept on walking.

After a while… and still nobody in sight.

Oh crap this is not the waiting rooms for Inkigayo anymore…

I began to panic until I heard laughs… Familiar laughs actually.

My heart’s beats increased… Is this…?

-Jonghyun Oppa, seriously you made me worried you know?

My eyes widened.

I was hiding in a corner while Jonghyun and an unknown girl were chatting in the end of the corridor.

I couldn’t help but felt a slight pain in my heart.

How it comes that I don’t know her?

-Aigoo~ You don’t have too! I said I was alright. Don’t worry anymore alright?

Why is he so close to her?

What should I do know? Eavesdropping and hurting myself or asking them for help?

I’ll stay here I think. Talking to Jonghyun is not an option now. I have not the strength yet to stop looking at him with full of love eyes.

“-Do you have a plan?

Onew sighed.

-Yes but Tsuki you have to show a blank face around him… make him think you don’t have feelings for him.

-WHAT? How is it even possible? I said I’m going to wait for him! Isn’t too sudden to change my mind? And what if he definitely gives up on me?

The car suddenly stopped and Onew turned to me.

-Listen Tsuki-yah~ You said yourself that you trust him don’t you?

I nodded.

-So if you trust him and his love for you, he won’t stop loving you, right? If he truly loved you, he might still have feelings for you, right?

I nodded again.

-Can you come to the point please?

-I was going to Kibum-ah! So, Hyun Jae, you know it better than us, when Jonghyun is jealous, he changed literally, am I right?

I giggled.

-Yeah! I remember this time when I talked to a rookie. Jonghyun suddenly came from nowhere and hugged me in front of him! He hates displaying affection in front of people he doesn’t know but then… it was quit surprising!

-That’s what I say! You get my point now Hyun Jae-yah!

-Ok but how can be Jonghyun jealous of Hyun Jae, sunbae?

He breathed deeply.

-We’re going to find her a new boyfriend!”

I sighed.

I have so many doubts so I didn’t say if I agree with this idea but nevertheless, if I ever have to say yes, I have to prepare for now… and now I’m not ready.

Maybe tomorrow or in 1 month but today I’m not ready to face him.

                                                              ------------------------------------------------------

-Not ready?  You’re kidding me right? You have to if you really want to know his feelings!

I sighed.

-I know I have to but not today! When I saw him he was flirting with a girl and I couldn’t feel anything else than jealousy and anger! How can I make him jealous when I am jealous! How can I show him I got over him when I’m angry toward him and still love him like hell? You know I can’t act ‘cause I’m bad at acting!

-So what is your plan? You won’t do as Onew sunbae advice you to do?

-I think a lot about it and maybe I will do it, even though I doubt it will work and I don’t know how he will find the “new boyfriend”. I don’t even want to have a new one! Anyway, I will maybe do it but before, I have to talk a last time with Jonghyun… otherwise, I’ll not be able to make a step!

-You don't have to have a "new boyfriend"! We only need someone to make him jealous! But you know what? Do as you wish… but I just want you to not hurt yourself Tsuki-yah~ If you know that this talk can hurt you, don’t do it.

-Don’t worry Eonni! I can take care of myself.

----------------------------------------------------------------

I took a deep breath and clenched on my wrists.

I can do it… yeah I can.

I was standing in front of the practice room of SHINee. And my heart and heart were a mess.

What will I tell him? Why am I even trying? Does he still loves me?

All those questions and more in my head.

I will explode soon!

-Thanks for your hard work!

I suddenly heard from inside which means they finished and I was thinking of running away but my legs weren’t listening to my head.

The trainer opened the door and when he saw me he slightly bowed, which I returned then he left.

Laughter could be hear from inside. I recognized Jonghyun’s one… I missed this sound so badly.

I took another deep breath and entered the room.

When I entered… I was welcomed by a dark silence.

My head was low but when I lifted it up, Onew, Key, Minho and Taemin were leaving the room with sweet smiles and looks saying “FIGHTING”. Onew even patted my shoulder.

I was now alone with Jonghyun and I felt scared suddenly.

Maybe he is angry because I’m here?

-What are you doing here?

Is sharp voice and mad look only confirmed my thoughts.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SORRY :( *bow deeply*

I was gone for so long MIAN~

I hope you enjoy this chapter~