"OTL i'm on my phone right now. i heard about this thing called aff and i wanted to write a confession too. i am currently a trainee for SM and i just want to say that its hard.. we have to constantly perform in front of LSM to see if we can stay as a trainee another day.  I'm scared that if i dont make it, then does it mean i have to start at the grade i left school to be a trainee? i'm really scared of that. i get outcasted by alot of people because  i'm Filipino and slightly darker than the rest. i was even given the nick name of 'queen of Africa' before. i can't speak Korean as much and its frustrating. whether or not you believe me, its your own choice, but there are famous people who have this mind set that they can tell us what to do since their popular. i know we have to since their older, but hey, some of them just get really cocky. am yes, i'm talking about girl groups. everywhere i go, groups such as SNSD and F(X) give me glares that i dont deserve. i even heard them complaining how i'm not meant to be here since i'm not Korean nor Chinese... i think the worst thing that happened was when Yoona and Krystal completely outcasted me from the group. they invited the whole trainee team on my field to eat dinner, but didnt tell me.. i just dont know what to do. if i quit, do i have to restart school and do the years i missed all over again? do i have to leave Korea? i dont know..."

-anonymous

b1a4lova says...

I heard that SM trainees go through like legit hardcore training and like it's really hard to debut under the name of SM.

It's pretty amazing that you got in ^^ You must be like a really good singer + really pretty ^^

Let me just tell you that a lot of foreigners go through racism.

Koreans are not really used to like Vietnamese people and such. Mostly because Korea isn't a melting pot like the United States. 

So they might like outcast you a lot, ignore you, underestimate you and maybe even talk bad about you

Just because you are not a Korean

That is just harsh man.

I was actually bullied when I was in 3rd or 4th grade.

I tell this story a lot and I don't remember if I told this to anyone that got bullied in our confession shop but here I go again, blabbing about my pointless stories OTL

So there is this song that is sorta offensive to Koreans (yes, I'm a Korean) and the song title is

'I'm a Korean' and it's a parody of Black Eyed Peas 'I got a feeling'

This song just like critize North Koreans but they never mentioned the word 'NORTH' whenever they say 'I'm a Korean'

(I wonder if I'm making sense..)

Apparently, one of my best guy friend heard this song and he started using that against me.

He was actually like close friends with these 6th graders and they started making fun of me.

And I didn't even know these 6th graders. like WTF

and whenever I walk in the hallways during dismissal, they'll always like yell

"There's the Korean girl"

and like sing

"I'm a Korean~"

and ask me like

"Is your contry seriously made out of like dry cleaning stores or something?"

and they would always laugh at me and ask me like

"What's your name Korean girl? is it CHING CHANG CHONG!?!? OHHH!!" and I'm just like

"No. My name is Esther."

(yes.. Esther is nickname.. my real name is this Korean name)

and like it actually continued for like what 2 months..

I ignored it first but it got severe... At the point where I thought about dropping out of school.

Just because of those immature kids.

I also took my anger out on my grandma by like ignoring her and like shutting the door in her face and such..

And I feel horrible because I haven't seen my grandma for like 5 years because she lives in Korea and I live in like VA.

And I seriously feel horrible and I feel like a brat.

---

Anyways.. My point is that even though these people bully you because of your race or something, ignore them.

Instead just show them that

A) You don't care

B)No one can stop you

--

OMG OMG OMG OMG HAHA I KNEW THAT KRYSTAL WAS SNOBBY..

LOL

I mean..

pishh they were all these rumors going around about Krystal being snobby...

Anyways... I feel like your lonely and you need someone by yourside to like cheer you on ^^

I'm pretty sure you already have someone that is like cheering you on but the more people that cheer you on, the less thought of you quiting.

Thanks for requesting and Good luck ^^

^^ So just message me and thanks for requesting.. <3

(I HOPE MY STORY MADE SENSE OTL)

Oh! and remember this (keep this in mind)

Tao from EXO M got bullied as a trainee (because he was Chinese). However, Tao didn't give up and continued and tried his best and he actually made it.. 

And I'm pretty sure you can too ^^

(OTL. I DON'T THINK MY STORIES ARE MAKING SENSE)

infinitlybana says...

Whoa so many SM people coming here ><

Man do you know how much I envy you?

You made it this far?

Dayuum

That's amazing :) <3

I'm really glad you discovered us and the whole AFF family^^~ <3

Yes trainee life is probably really hard...

I'm not the prettiest either

I am also korean...

I have a big face

and I get acne

and my nose isn't all that high.

My skin isn't all that pale.

And I hate it.

I wish I was prettier.

And I feel like the only way I could think of of feeling better of myself?

Is if I made it big

If I became an idol

If I became an actress

If I became a model...

But I can't you know?

And I so respect you for being able to do this..

Especially with being a whole different race

I admit Korean people are oh so racist.

They think black and white people carry STDs and aren't clean.

And they think all Europeans are y and have a beautiful face and body.

And if you're a student in korea?

omfg everyone is identical

cuz you just GOTTA FIT IN.

It's stupid.

I wanna move to korea though..

And change all of that...

I really do...

I wish I could meet you.

I wish I could see you

I wish I lived in Korea to cheer you on.

I'm pretty sure you're doing awesome :)

My skin is also darker...

and man I'm Korean and I can't be a trainee...

I'm proud of you for representing your country and showing Korea that maybe people from the Philipeans aren't so bad :3

NEXT TOPIC

OMFG I REALLY DON'T LIKE YOONA ANYMORE...........................

OTL

IM STUPID...

I THOUGHT SHE WAS PRETTY AND NICE

I'LL TAKE YOUR OPINION AND THE OTHER WORKER'S OPINION THAT SHE ISN'T T-T...

So I'm guessing Krystal and Yoona are like partners in crime -_-;

That was just rude and rasicst of them for doing such a thing....

RUDE RUDE RUDE RUDE

Like really?

Can I just slap them in the face?

Just keep your chin up high and keep learning Korean so that you could understand and talk back.

And just try your best and just keep thinking 'I'm almost there' :)

Because you are much more higher up than I am.

<3 Thank you for confessing!