Waaaa, finsihed this chapter, finally! Ok its a shorter chapter, but I wanted it this way, soo yea. Ok before you read it, you must listen to this  because I tried to create a chapter that kinda mimicked the feeling from this song. Anyway ENJOY! 

 

 

 

 

 

Why does the sun have to come up? Why does the earth continue on? Why can’t the whole world just up and all of us just disappear?

 

Such thoughts constantly ran through Fynn’s head as he lay on his bed that morning. He figured the world should just disappear. Humanity was going crazy and people didn’t deserve to be on this planet and ruin other people’s day with their stupidity. If humanity just disappeared then he wouldn’t have to suffer with his feelings for Luke like this.

 

Fynn just wanted to give up at this point. Luke would never be his. There was just no way. Even though Luke did find out about his message, there was no way Luke would return his feelings. Now that he thought about it, Luke replied in such a manner that suggested he liked Fynn, but in a way that a person loves a pet puppy or something. It was obvious Luke didn’t know how deep Fynn’s feelings for him were.

 

Fynn continued to lie on his back for several more hours that morning. He didn’t have work so there was no point in getting up anyway. He just laid there with music playing in the background and his thoughts running around, yet those thoughts were running too fast for him to catch them and find meaning in them.

 

Fynn continued continued laying on his back even more for several days, with the exception of only getting up for food and using the restroom. He had become an empty doll that ran on instinct only and not motivated thoughts. Even if Fynn had thoughts at the time, there was no purpose behind them because Luke robbed him of that already.

 

He must have had a little bit of desire and purpose left in his body because after about a week, he decided to go and get his phone fixed. It was still broken from the time he threw it and Fynn felt a bit sorry for the poor object. It was his fault it was broken and even though it was just an inanimate object, it didn’t deserve to be shattered. Only Fynn’s heart should be shattered like this, not his phone.

 

He got out of his bed and dressed in ‘good-enough’ clothes. He finally decided to go something, but that didn’t mean there was finally purpose in his body or actions again. His body was moving on its own on impulse at this point.

 

Fynn walked down the street, though he didn’t know where he was going. The clouds over head hid the sun’s presence and looked like it would rain later. Figures, since that was pretty much how Fynn’s mood was. Lacking a glimmer of hope and ready to break down and pour out at any second.

 

He still didn’t know where he was going but his body must have known because somehow he ended up in front of his destination. His body took over once again and he headed inside the repair shop. His mind really was out of it. Everything, his body just took over. His speech, handing the clerk his phone to be repaired, and then moving to sit in a chair to wait, all of it his body did without his will behind it.

 

Waiting was no problem. He had no thoughts to think about to make himself feel bored. He could just stare blankly and soon his phone would be fixed. Fynn did pick up a magazine sitting on the table next to him though. He didn’t want to make the store employees feel awkward by his staring and cause them to ask if he was ok. No, he didn’t need to be bothered by people right now. He just wanted his phone fixed so he could go home and be in his depressed empty state.

 

Upon hearing the store clerk say “It’s done”, Fynn got up from his chair and proceeded to pay the man for the repair job. The damage to the phone wasn’t as bad as Fynn first thought it was. The phone still worked perfectly fine, but Fynn hadn’t turned his phone on since he threw it, so he had no idea it only needed a new case and screen. If only his heart could be fixed so easily he thought.

 

The walk home was as empty and non-existent feeling as the walk there. Fynn wasn’t even sure if he was even walking, his body just moved on its own. He wouldn’t be surprised if he accidentally walked off a bridge and fell into the water, he was just that detached from himself and his surroundings. He could have walked to the edge of town and back and would never have realized it. He didn’t even realize that he finally made it home. By that time the sun started to set and it was becoming night time.

 

As Fynn started to walk up towards his house though, someone called his name. His body turned him around to see who the voice belonged to. He saw a figure standing before him, but it took a while for his brain to register who it was.

 

            It was Luke!

 

            “Fynn, can we talk?”

 

What was Luke doing at Fynn’s House? Wait, how did Luke even know where Fynn lived? Wait, wait…talk?....No, Fynn didn’t want to talk. No, not with Luke. He didn’t want to hear what might come out of Luke’s mouth.

 

His body acted on its own again. Fynn took off past Luke and just ran as fast and as far as his body would take him.

 

He must have been somewhat out of shape, or maybe the shock was making him short of breath, but either way he didn’t get very far with his legs. He go far enough though because when he looked back, Luke was nowhere to be seen or anything.

 

The thought finally caught up with Fynn, surely Luke was there to turn Fynn down. Of course he was, who the would love a guy as ing as he was? Well it definitely was not Luke that was for sure.

 

There was hardly any strength left in Fynn’s legs as he stumbled into a small alleyway between an apartment complex and an orange colored picket fence. He was really out of it. Fynn slammed his head into a telephone pole in his stumbling attempt to walk further down the alleyway.

 

            “Ow…....”  he murmured as he exhaled a shaky breath.

 

Fynn absolutely had no more strength or will to go further so he just stumbled down to sit on the ground behind the pole that he smacked his head against a few seconds ago. He rested his head against the cold cement of the apartment complex and stretched his legs out flat against the now cold ground.

 

Maybe if he just sat there and closed his eyes, the world, Luke, and especially his feelings would just disappear.

 

The clouds from earlier soon proved to be true to their appearance as light rainfall started to fall on Fynn’s confused, scared drooping head.  

 

How nice it would be if that rain could just make these feelings disappeared and make Fynn’s existence vanish along with them. It’s not like anyone would care if Fynn vanished anyway. No one ever cared for Fynn. No one. Yes how nice if the rain could just make Fynn fade out away from the world.

 

Suddenly the rain stopped falling on Fynn’s head.

 

            “…Fynn”  , someone said, the word barely making it into Fynn’s ears.

 

Fynn was so detached from the world that he never bothered to look up to see who it was.

 

It was Luke in fact, holding a red colored umbrella over Fynn’s hunched over head. Fynn’s body looked like a strung out corpse. If it wasn’t for his chest moving up and down, showing that he was still breathing, you could have sworn that he was dead.

 

            “Fynn” the voice said again, which finally brought Fynn’s attention back.

 

Fynn knew the voice belonged to Luke, but he didn’t want to look up, he didn’t want to listen.

 

            “Just…..go away, Luke” Fynn spoke softly with a tired voice.

 

            “Why did you run away” Luke replied back, not listening to Fynn’s request.

 

            “…….just….because…”

Why was Fynn even answering Luke? He had no reason to tell Luke anything, but the words just kept spilling out of his mouth against his will.

 

            “because why Fynn?”

 

            “..because….I…..you…No, I just….just, just…You, y-you are too perfect.

 

What was Fynn even saying? He didn’t want Luke to know this. He didn’t want to become a clear glass book like this, so easy to read and break with a single hit. The words just kept spewing out, however, despite how much Fynn wanted to make his voice stop.

 

            “You….you, you, you!! Everything is because of you! All my thoughts, actions, everything just leads to you! And….it’s frustrating…because I can never have you. You     are too perfect and I am so ed up inside, why would I even think I had a chance with you?.....You will never be mine…So just…just leave me alone before you take the last bit     of sanity I have left.”

 

            “Fynn….”

 

Here it comes, Luke was going to reject him and break apart the last few seams which kept the last few pieces of Fynn’s heart together.

 

            “…you are an idiot you know that?”

 

Couldn’t agree with you more Luke. Fynn really did feel like an idiot for putting himself through all of this. It would all be over soon though because Luke was going to reject his feelings.

 

            “Did you run away because you thought I would turn down your feelings for me?”

 

Yes…..because it was the truth right?

 

            “Why do you get to go off and decide my decision before even listening to my feelings    first?”

 

Because I already know your answer and I am a coward. I don’t want to feel that pain.

 

            “Fynn…I don’t hate you…I do want to be your princess”

 

What?

 

            “You don’t mean that, you don’t feel for me like how deeply I feel for you” Fynn stated in retaliation.

 

            “You don’t know that because you won’t listen to me first” Luke answered back

 

I do know though, that’s why I won’t listen. I don’t want my heart to be shattered anymore.

 

            “Fynn….” Luke said as he crouched down to be at Fynn’s eye level, while still holding the umbrella over his head.

 

            “….I want to be your princess. I want to return your feelings. Don’t tell yourself that I don’t want you because I do want you. Throw your feelings on me, love me, everything all of it, I will accept. Even if you lock the door, I will break it down and return your love   whether you want me to or not.”  

 

A few tears started to stream down Fynn’s cheecks at Luke’s speech. He had been bottling all of these toxic emotions inside and now they were all finally being released in that moment. Fynn could no longer control the emotions, they started to overwhelm him and the tears only continued more heavily now.

 

Fynn fnally brought his head up to gaze into Luke’s eyes which were staring right into Fynn’s. He didn’t know if he liked the stare because Luke was staring at a vulnerable Fynn. A Fynn that was exposing all the emotions he worked so hard to keep hidden and locked away.

 

Luke placed his free hand against Fynn’s face and caressed Fynn’s jaw and cheek with soft, warm and gentle hands. The touch felt unreal and was incredibly comforting to Fynn’s damaged heart.

 

Luke then learned in to steal Fynn’s lip with his own.

 

Fynn didn’t fight the touch, he wasn’t expecting it, but the feeling was so comforting that Fynn closed his eyes to feel Luke’s touch more. The kiss was extremely gentle and made his very soul feel whole again. Luke and Fynn’s lips parted however, and Fynn refused to open his eyes. He wanted to savory the touch a bit more and not be overwhelmed by other senses.

 

Fynn was greeted with more warm comfort soon enough as Luke then threw the umbrella aside and embraced Fynn in both arms, with a tight squeeze at that.  

 

The warmth was too strong. Fynn didn’t deserve this comfort, this warmth welling inside his body, his heart being at ease, none of it. He wasn’t worthy of any of this he thought, yet he didn’t want it to end. It was more addicting than any drug on the earth and the withdrawal of it would surely kill him.

 

Luke never let Fynn experience the withdrawal though. He just stayed there, holding Fynn tightly until he was certain Fynn’s heart was filled.

 

            “You are mine…and I am yours. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise” Luke said softly.

 

There, another wave of emotions swept over Fynn and more tears poured out of his closed eyes. He leaned in closer to Luke’s embrace, nuzzling his chin deeper into Luke’s neck and shoulder.

Maybe he could accept Luke’s words. Fynn did know that he didn’t want this comfort to end and he even thought that he could experience comfort like this again with Luke in the future.

 

Luke and Fynn had been embracing for what seemed like hours and by then their clothes were nearly completely soaked through by the light rain.

 

            “Come on, I don’t want you to get sick from being soaked in the rain, we should get you home” Luke said breaking the silence.

 

No, I don’t want to move. Let us stay like this for all eternity. Please.

 

Despite Fynn’s disagreement with Luke’s statement, his body followed Luke’s hand tugging him up onto his feet. Luke then proceeded to lead Fynn home while holding onto Fynn’s hand in a tight, but gentle grip, never once letting go. Fynn held onto Luke’s hand just as tightly. He was afraid that if he let go, Luke would run away or vanish before his very eyes. Luke was his now and he would do anything in his power to keep him by his side.

 

Before Fynn realized it, they were already in front of his house and it was time to part.

 

            No, no don’t leave me!

Fynn wore a face filled with distress and worry. He didn’t want to let go of Luke’s hand. He just wanted to hold on to Luke forever. He was Fynn’s and no one else’s.

 

Luke must have caught on to the distress inside Fynn’s heart because Luke put one hand on the side of Fynn’s face, gently caressing the skin, like it was fragil glass, and placed his lips, once again ever so sweetly and softly on Fynn’s. Luke leaned in a bit more in this kiss to show Fynn that he was still there and that his feelings would not change even if time changed.

 

Luke never once let go of Fynn’s hand. Luke never left until Fynn was completely inside his house.

 

Once inside, Fynn wandered with an empty mind up to his room and soon collapse onto his now surprisingly soft, comfortable bed.

 

Nothing ran inside Fynn’s mind at that point. No thoughts, no doubts, no ‘what-if’ situations, nothing. Fynn didn’t want what he was feeling to be ruined. He simply pulled the covers over his face and tucked into a self-embrace, trying to keep the feeling of Luke’s touch inside him.

 

Fynn was finally able to fall asleep with warmth and reassurance in his body. The princess was finally his.