You felt someone your hair and slowly opened your eyes. Your eyes widened as you saw Donghae's face only inches away from yours. He smiled at you as you were frozen.  

'Sorry. Did I wake you up?' He said and you jumped out of the bed.

'What?! How?!' You yelled confused. He chuckled and pushed him self a bit up. When you saw the grin on his face, you ruffled up your hair and sighed.

'What time is it?' You asked annoyed, knowing that he was enjoying seeing you totally messed up.

'1am.' He said and yawned. You froze before turning around and looking at the clock.

'What?! Why didn't you wake me up earlier?!' You hissed and he smirked.

'Well your friend tried to but you acted like a little kid and refused. So she gave up and went to bed.' He said and you scratched your head.

'I'm going to my room. Don't pull those pranks anymore. This time I will blame the druggs but next time, I'll kick you out.' You hissed and he still had his smirk on his face.

You closed the door behind you and walked to your room. Just when you opened your door, the bell rang and you froze. You waited a second before walking towards the stairs. Your friend's door opened and she popped her head out.

'I'll go look.' you said and she nodded sleepy.

'Who the comes at this time?!' You mumbled annoyed.

When you opened the door you were in shock. Leeteuk was standing in front of you. He looked bad and sad.

'Can I come in?' He said and you hesitated. You wanted to refuse but he was not wearing a jacket and you sighed.

'uhm... It's better if you don't' You said and he looked down which made you feel even more guilty.

'How about we walk around a bit? I just woke up and probably won't be able to sleep...' You said and his face lit up.

'I will put something warm on and then we can go... If you get yourself a jacket?' You said and he looked at his clothes. You smiled weakly at him, feeling that something weird was going on.  He nodded before turning around and you closed the door.

You suddenly didn't feel tired anymore but rather excited. You rushed upstairs and forgot that it was late at night when you opened your closeth. You glanced at Eun Mi that was hugging her favorite teddy bear... It was the one Mi Young gave her. You shook your head and looked at the clothes again. For some reason you wanted to look good in front of him...

You pulled out a few things but in the end didn't want to wear them. The bell rang and you flinched. You finally saw something you would love to wear and changed in a few minutes. You rushed downstairs after closing your door softly. Forgetting anything you opened the door.

You were panting from the rushing and didn't notice Leeteuk checking you out.

'Let's go?' You said and he snapped back and nodded quickly. You frowned but decided not to ask anything.

'Where are we?' Leeteuk asked after 10 minutes of walking without you saying anything.

'My secret place.' You said without looking back at him. He frowned and looked around.

'What are you talking about?' He said confused.

'Just a second.' you said and he followed you quietly. You were walking in the old park and when you walked of the path, leeteuk stopped walking. You noticed that he wasn't following you anymore and turned around. He looked nervous and looked around.

'Don't worry. It isn't scary.' You said and walked a bit back. Without thinking you grabbed his hand and pulled him with you. leeteuk was surprised by your boldness and kept staring at your hands while letting himself be pulled.

After passing a lot of trees you stopped and Leeteuk finally looked up. His mouth fell open from what he saw and he froze. Only after you let go of his hand to stretch he looked back at you.

'Where are we?' He asked and stared at you while you stared at the lake.

'My secret spot.' You said with a smile, while dropping your arms. You suddenly turned to look at him which made him flinch. You smiled and his heart skipped a beat. The way the moonlight fell on your face made him feel even more amazed.

'Let's sit. Then I'll tell you a story.' You said and grabbed his hand pulling him with you. Leeteuk didn't know why but he liked it when you just pulled him along with you.

You sat down close to the lake and Leeteuk slowly sat down too. He stared at the lake till you took a deep breath. He leaned his arms on his knees and leaned his head on his arms while looking at you. Both of you were sitting the same way but while Leeteuk stared at you, you seemed to have drowned in the beauty of the lake.

'As you noticed. Our houses are outside the city. That's why they are big and have those huge gardens. It's dark now and that's why you probably didn't notice but we walked the opposite direction of the city and went through some small ways. The first thing we see is the park. Sometimes people still walk through that park but not many people visit there because it's winter. If you don't follow the path but just go throught the bushes, you'll reach the lake. But only if you leave the path on the left side. If you leave the path on the right side you'll end up back to the houses again.  Only the elderly around here know about this spot and they don't tell it to anyone. Neither do they visit as much. There. On the other side of the lake is a small village. That village has a lot of people but almost none of them have contact with people from the city. They live their lives peacefully....' You said and finally turned to look at Leeteuk again who was still staring.

You frowned at him for a second, not understanding why he had that peaceful smile on his face but ignored it and continued your story.

'I've been there once... some time ago when i found about this place. And a local woman told me about it. She told me that there was a rule that teenagers were not allowed to live in the village. That's why children are only allowed to stay till they are 6 years old... That's why parents leave the moment they find out that the wife is pregnant. And the children are allowed to return after they turn 25. Before that none of them is allowed to live there... Weird isn't it?' You said and glanced at him.

He hummed as an answer and you frowned. He gave you a weird feeling when he looked at you like that.

'Why did you suddenly appear in front of our door?' You asked when neither of you spoke and with that his whole mood changed.

The look on his face darkened and he immediately turned his face away.

'I did something unforgivable but I still want a chance to make it up to her.' He said and you felt a small pain in your heart.

'What did you do?' You said and he looked so sad that you were about to hug him. He looked at you for a second and looked back at the lake.

'If I told you, you would hate me.' He said and for the first time he really didn't want anyone to know what he did. He first thought that he didn't care about people hating him but with you. He was scared of being hated by you and didn't dare to tell you.

'Do you know how I can make it up to her? Can you give me a chance?' He said and looked at you with pleading eyes. You wanted to say yes but knowing that he did something that made her so sad and make Sungmin this mad to leave her side. You knew you could never help him.

'I don't know how to help you if you can't tell me what you did.... I can only give you a chance if you tell me what you did... Can you tell me?' You asked and looked at him. He flinched from the stern look in your eyes and you felt really curious about what he did. You wanted to know but you didn't want to help him with your friend.

'I guess you can't.' You hissed when he couldn't answer you and you stared at the lake again. For some reason you felt annoyed that he wouldn't tell you. A hard breeze made you shudder and you rubbed your own arm trying to stay warm. When it didn't help you sighed and got up.

'It's late... we should go.' You said coldly and Leeteuk was disappointed. Something inside him wanted to stay more, not because it was quiet but because he could be with you. Even thought he wanted to stay, he was too scared to say anything and just got up.

He followed you while staring at your hand. For some reason he wanted to hold your hand again but he didn't dare to. When you sighed and hugged yourself he smiled. He took his jacket off and put them on your shoulders making you surprised. You looked a bit back as he was standing a little bit behind you on your right side.

He grabbed your hand and blew on it to keep you warm. Your eyes widened and you stopped walking. He pretended as if it was normal and grabbed your other hand too. He held them in his hands while trying to make them warmer. You pulled them away and he was surprised for a second before a grin appeared on his face. He pulled his jacket by the collar, making you step closer.

When you could feel his breath against your cheek you gasped. He smirked and grabbed your hand. He turned around and this time you, who was still in shock, was pulled with him. With a satisfied smile on his face he walked the 2 of you out of the bushes and away from the lake. You kept staring at his back. Your eyes told the world that you were confused and couldn't believe what was going on.

The two of you kept holding hands till you could see your house. You pulled  your hand away from him and he didn't even tried to hide his disappointment. He wanted to walk you to the door but you refused. When you wanted to pull the jacket off, he stopped you.

'If you won't let me walk you to the door, I'll take it back some other time.' He said and smiled. You frowned when he was acting so weird.

'I will give it to your manager tomorrow.' You said and he snorted.

'No. You have to give it back to me.' He said and pouted making you think he was crazy.

'Uhm. Leeteuk-ssi. You shouldn't be this carefree. I still don't know what you did but it must be pretty bad since my dear friend is hurt badly. I hope you won't think of me as your friend cause I'm not someone who befriends people that hurt my real friends.' You hissed feeling annoyed. You don't know why you suddenly felt so mad but you didn't lie. You felt confused and a bit guilty.

He looked at you with big eyes and you could swear that he was about to cry. When he suddenly showed you a smile that made you gasp.

'I know... Asking you to be my friend and to give me chance without even letting you know my biggest mistake till now. It was something impossible. But I still don't want to give up. I still want a chance to make it up to her and maybe become your friend.' He said so determinded that it made you feel something weird again.

You shook your head and snorted.

'Goodluck and goodnight.' You said and walked away. You felt weird when the breeze blew your hair. Leeteuk kept standing there, watching your back and you knew that he was there. Your steps became heavier as you got further away from him and closer to your house.

Leeteuk held the gate unconsciously and took another step closer.

'Why do I feel so attracted to her? I love ____... right?' Leeteuk asked his own heart but even his heart couldn't answer him.

You stayed up the whole night, thinking about everyone. About love, friends, family and your dream.

Kai...

Donghae...

James...

Leeteuk...

The names of these 4 guys kept roaming in your head and it made you go crazy. Everytime you closed your eyes, their faces appeared.

The next day was even harder for you. You couldn't rest and didn't want to. You had a hard time helping your friend. You felt guilty towards her by treating Leeteuk too kind but you also got annoyed with her for being so loved. Jealousy and guilt kept playing with your mind and heart. At some moments you wanted to avoid her and the other moment you wanted to treat her the best way possible.

You also felt a huge guilt towards Eun Mi. Not being able to give her enough attention. Feeling something for someone else besides her daddy... You wanted her to be able to believe in the fact that her mommy did love her daddy.

For some reason it felt like you were betraying Eun Mi by trying to look for someone else.

You couldn't stand being in the same room as Donghae. The way he treated you made you feel even more confused. His sweetness made you melt and want to stay with him but you felt like you shouldn't trust him. You couldn't help but making yourself believe that he was a playboy and that he didn't love you. That's what you wanted to believe even thought it hurted.

When you were called to the other house for the other sick members, you really didn't want to see Leeteuk and yet you felt excited to see him. You left the house with a weird feeling in your belly and it wasn't  bad feeling but when you walked into the house and saw him, your whole expression changed. The way he looked made you feel so annoyed with him. His face lit up as he saw you walking towards him while you stared blankly ahead of you. You wanted to walk past him but he grabbed your arm making you stop.

'Can we talk?' He whispered and his eyes looked sad again. You could see that he didn't sleep just like you but that only made you feel worse.

'I'm not here for you.' You hissed and suddenly Yesung walked out of the livingroom.

'Oh.. Sorry. Did I interrupt?' Yesung stuttered and you faked a smile. Both Leeteuk and Yesung looked shocked at your smile that looked so real for them.

'No, not at all. You actually saved me. I have been here before a few times but I still don't know who is in which room. Heechul's nurse called me. can you show me the way? Leeteuk-ssi was about to leave.' You said with a smile and yet a dangerous tone. Both the guys could feel your coldness and Yesung only felt more nervous and scared. He slowly nodded after glancing from you to Leeteuk and back to you.

He walked towards the stairs after glancing once more at Leeteuk who was standing with his back towards the 2 of you. He clenched his fist while the 2 of you stared at him while going upstairs.

It was already midnight and the nurses were doing some overworking because today would be the day that most of them would get in the worst fase. The doctors had warned about this fase. The members would be sick and vomiting all the food they had. There was a big chance that they would get a fever and act a bit weird. They would be sweating a lot and maybe a bit of hallucinating could appear. But after this fase their bodies would be cleaner and they would gain a lot energy.

Just like the doctors had predicted, it would start at night. You had asked for all the nurses to work overtime today because you knew all this. Scared that your friend wouldn't be able to take it, you asked hired 2 extra nurses. One to help your friend and one for in the other house. You were happy that you devided the sick members from the other members. You didn't want the others to get sick too or lie between the sick members.

The first one to get sick like this was Kyuhyun. That day he had been full of energy and he ate breakfast and lunch with everyone at the dinner table. The same goes for Donghae. Only Kyuhyun couldn't handle the dinner because he was getting feverish.

Eun Mi fell asleep at 9pm and you had put on some music so she wouldn't hear the vomiting noises. Same for your friend who was still sad. You tried to talk with her but again she wouldn't tell anyone a word.

After a whole night of taking care of the 2 guys and sometimes going over to the house next door, you were worn out. But you still couldn't sleep.

You thought you were going crazy when you got out of bed at 6am and went downstairs. It was quiet and you opened the door to the garden. The sun was already coming up. And you heard a few birds.

'Spring is coming...' You whispered while hugging yourself.

You were wearing some shorts with a black tanktop and a matching vest. You normally wouldn't wear shorts with the guys around but after the guys finally got better around 3 am, you didn't think about what to wear. You just wanted to wear something that didn't smell like sweat and puke.

You stayed like that thinking about what you should do while just daydreaming about the past.

Another chapter update >.<

Yep I keep updating this one because I'm trying to catch up again.

I feel so tired from these chapters >.<

Maybe that's because she feels so confused and tired too ~.~ Or maybe because I made her like this.

Well Im sorry >.<

Today I'm not going to ask you to comment but to vote >.< well comments are always welcome thought.

It's time to choose with who you want to end up with in this story...

who do you like the most???

PLEASE VOTEE!!!

It's almost 2 am here T.T so tired. Time to go to sleep~

~R~