Donghae POV

As we walked to the ferris wheel, his hand in mine I suddenly felt teary. This could potentially be the first and last time we went on a date. After tomorrow comes I'd be back in school with my girlfriend and Hyuk would once again be my bodyguard. There's a saying that you shouldn't fall too deep because then it'll be just as hard to crawl back out. But what if I'd already fallen too deep, what if I didn't want to crawl out...

 

"Hae?" Hyuk's voice broke into my thought and I looked up to see him smiling endearingly and it broke my heart. If I chose him then what would I tell Jess, the poor girl I'd led on?! I couldn't break her heart just like that. But if I chose Jess and not Hyuk... I think my heart would break. 

 

"Hmm?" I hummed in reply.

 

"Stop," 

 

I frowned, "Stop what?"

 

"Just stop thinking Hae ah and start living," Hyuk smiled wide at me and I couldn't help but smile back, my heart once again being surrounded, protected by his warmth. 

 

I squeezed his hand tightly as we stood in line, waiting for our turn. I saw his grin and chuckled. How could such a tough, stern bodyguard become so cute? 

  ***

When it was finally our turn, my face was no longer smiling. The cart held four and Hyuk and I were only two so we had to share with another two. It was just my luck when two buff guys stepped in and ruined my chance at another kiss from Hyukkie. I pouted but instantly regretted it when one of the guys, the one with bleached blonde hair eyed my pout and winked. I tensed and hoped, prayed Hyuk hadn't seen it. I sighed in relief when I saw that he was just looking up into the sky.  

 

My relief did not last long though because soon the blondie decided to verbally flirt. "Is it hot in here or is it just the cute brunette in the cart," he deliberately spoke loudly to the one next to him.

 

I scowled in his direction and was about to spout out curses to his disgusting attempt at getting laid but Hyuk had already opened his mouth. "Hmm, I think you're right. My baby is pretty delicious dont'cha think?" he spoke teasingly, almost mocking the other.

 

Though to some the atmosphere would've looked light, joking but I knew better. That joke was a warning from Hyuk and if the blondie wanted his balls to stay where they belong he'd better shut up. 

 

"Your baby?" the blond guy raised an eyebrow. 

Hyuk simply nodded and took my hand in his. I would've smiled if not for the murderous glare Hyuk gave the flirt. If looks could kill, Blondie would be cut in half then burned in olive oil and fed to the piranas in the deep ocean trench!

 

"Umm, yes. Hyuk is my b-b-boyfriend." I said, deciding to break the eye batte between the two. 

There were two surprised beings in the cart now. One was, of course, Blondie but the other was Hyuk. I smirked when I saw his gawking face and decided that maybe boyfriend did sound better than girlfriend. Maybe 'My Hyukjae' did sound better than 'My Jessica'...

 

"Well... that's great then." the blonde haired man said before withrawing fully from the conversation and just stared down into the scenery. 

 

I looked to see my monkey's face and chuckled upon realizing he was now full on grinning wide. 

 

"Well, well Hyukjae I didn't know you wanted to be my boyfriend so badly," I teasingly whispered into his ear and he shook his head furiously in return. '

 

Chuckling, I pushed my knuckles into his styled hair. He yelped and shoved my hand away, immedietely fixing my mess. 

After he fixed his nonexistently messy hair, his eyes darkened. "You're being a bad, bad boy Hae ah. I don't know how I should punish you this time..." his breath lingered in my ear as I shivered from excitement. 

 

"P-p-punish me? You love me too m- unf!" Hyuk kissed me deep and hard. His lips moved syncronically with mine as I let out a quiet moan. He took this oppurtunity to shove his tongue into my mouth and I almost came at how sinfully good it felt. It wasn't the first time Hyuk had kissed me but this time was different. This time it wasn't my bodyguard kissing me, this time it was my boyfriend. The thought made me giddy and I kissed Hyuk back with so much need, so much love. 

 

As we pulled apart we heard awkward coughs and that's when we realized the ride had been over long before. The cart stood on the podium, the people in line eyeing us. The ride worker coughed once again and we rushed out of the cart, not making eye contact with anyone. My cheeks turned redder than red and I'm sure it was the same for Hyuk. Both of us made no noises as we quietly but quickly walked over to where Hyuk's car stood. We climbed in and it was then that we both finally let out sighs of relief. 

 

"You idiot!" I hissed, imagining the faces of the ajumma's and ajussi's that were watching our makeout session. My face once again was tinted in pink. 

 

Hyuk laughed and the engine of his car. "Aigoo Donghae ssi, you think too much. I'm sure they all enjoyed their session of live "

And that's when I hit him.

 

***

The ride was quiet so far. Hyuk made a few jokes here and there and I laughed and conutered them but we both had the same question, tension, in our minds : Who was I to choose now?

 

I felt like crying when I thought about just choosing Jessica to avoid so much headache and heartache, but I also thought it was the most sensible thing I could do. 

 

I was a man and Jess was a girl. A man belonged with a girl and vise versa... right? 

 

So why was Hyukjae even in this?! Hyukjae was a man and so was I and so shouldn't we both be admiring and liking girls?! My head hurt now and I didn't understand why I felt this way then. 

As Hyuk turned into our driveway all my thoughts become jumbled and I knew I just had to choose now. 

 

Turning off the engine, Hyuk turned to me. "Hae" 

I looked back at him, my answer now clear in my mind. "Shh" I shushed him and began.

 

"Lee Hyukjae, I really, really love you. I love you as my best friend, my hommie, my employee." as the words left my mouth Hyuk's eyes become clouded and my heart broke as I saw his sadness. 

 

"Hyuk, this really was the Best Date ever. I loved every part of it but I don't think this will work okay. I can't do this to Jess. I-I love her!" I choked out, my voice breaking as I lied. 

 

Hyuk's face showed so much vulnerablity and so much confusion that I just wanted to hug him and tell him it will all be alright but I knew I couldn't do that anymore. Forcing myself to look away, I kissed him one last goodbye and jumped out the car and into my house. 

 

As I stepped into my bedroom, I let my composure fall. I cried and cried and regretted, regretted not saying my true feelings. 

 

"I love you Lee Hyukjae. Not as a friend and not as an employee, you are my lover. I could never love Jess as much as you." But I never said the truth to him... 

 

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well, best first date series r over. Back to school for eunhae xD 

sorry for the super late update. I didn't know how to end this.

and yes I know I know... Hae's a jerk but the poor thing's conflicted all :( I just feel bad for hyukkie <3

thanks to my 44 subs I love y'all :) <3