Bringing myself out of the memories of times gone by, I walk out of the bathroom, making my way to the closet. Ah, the closet...in the typical relationship the female has the largest part of the closet...not so with us. Even if I lived with just one of them I still would not have the most clothing. I smile as I look around what used to be the spare bedroom, now turned closet. The clothes, the accessories, and oh, the shoes. One of the biggest issues in the early days was the shoes...I had heard about Ji's shoe collection but you can't truly comprehend it until you see it for yourself. When we all decided to moved in together, I put my foot down and told him that only 100 pairs of shoes would be coming into our house. He had balked and told me I was being unfair, and cruel. He insisted on 200. I dug my heels in and refused, as did he. Seung-Hyun had been watching this unfold, and when it came to an impasse, he took over.

“Ji, my Heart, you do have too many shoes. Sinhae, my Little One, shoes are our Heart's thing. They are his passion, other than music. Ji, 150 is your limit in this house...you can store the rest at your parents, and cycle shoes through...we are not asking you to get rid of your shoes. Fair enough?” He looked at both of us, and we both reluctantly nodded. What I didn't know at the time was that my Dear One was also planning on bringing 150 into our home. It was surreal, I used to think of a closet as a space to store the clothing I wore...now I think of it more as showroom. My future and my home changed radically with the presence of Seung-Hyun and Ji-Yong in my personal life. I sighed to myself, getting lost once again in the past...

**********************

After the incident in Japan, I became even closer with Ji-Yong and Choi. Being one of the few people that knew about their relationship, I was one of the few they could be comfortable around. I began going out with them more; eating, movies, noribang. I had gone out with one or the other before on numerous occasions, but now it was different somehow. The three of us seemed to work well together, whether it was making dinner or redecorating my apartment, we had a great synergy. It was during the redecoration process six months later that things began to shift.

I had mentioned in casual conversation that I was thinking of redecorating my apartment. I had taken my earnings and bonuses from YG and had invested them with the help of a fellow ex-pat living in Seoul and I had done quite well. I had been able to purchase an apartment in Hongdae, and now had enough money saved again to think about redecorating my kitchen, dining and living areas. The bathroom and bedroom would just have to wait until I had again saved enough money to do them. I began the process alone but soon realized I was in over my head. Knowing Choi's interest in interior design and Ji-Yong's great sense of colors and style, they were the logical choices to help me. So while we were sitting around drinking and playing games at my place one night I brought it up.

“What do you guys think of me making the kitchen a nice soft lemon yellow with rusty reds and browns as accent colors?”

Choi, looked over at the kitchen and thought a moment, “What would you do with the dining area, then?”

“Well, I am not sure, I was thinking maybe tie it in with the brown and choose one of browns from the Kitchen accent and bring it out to the Dining, that way I can do the bold blue I want in the living area without it being near the yellow...I don't really know. I have been drowning in color chips for the past three weeks!” I sighed and set my bottle down.

Ji-Yong smiled looking around the apartment, “I am glad to know you are finally ready to do something with this blank slate of an apartment!” He grinned at me.

“Yah! I was ready to do something with it when I moved it!” I shot back.

“Then why didn't you?” He ask, genuinely curious.

“Because, unlike some people, I don't have a deep bank account! When I bought the place it pretty much wiped me out. I have had to wait until I could build up some more savings to even think of decorating.” I informed him.

He had the tact to look sheepishly at his shoes, which by the way could probably pay for an entire room make over. I continued, “Yah, I didn't say that to make you feel bad, but it is the truth. So now I am preparing to re-do the kitchen, dining, and living areas...the bedroom and bath will have to wait for round two.”

“You said you had paint chips?” Choi asked and I nodded, “Can you get them? I would like to see what you are thinking about so far.”

“I was hoping you would ask! I am so in over my head on this, and need some help before I give up and just paint it black!” I laughed as I got up from the table and moved to retrieve the box full of swatches, chips, and magazines from the bedroom, as Ji's voice followed yelling, “Nice Rolling Stones reference!” I grinned, happy he had noticed.

I brought the box over and set it on the table, moving empty bottles to make room for it. I paused and looked at the number of empty wine, soju, and beer bottles on the table, “Huh, maybe we shouldn't do this when we have had so much to drink, this is an activity best done while sober.”

“Yah! None of us are drunk! Several of these bottles were half empty when we started! Let's see what you have.” Ji-Yong exclaimed excitedly. He looked like a kids about to get a present.

And so the redecorating process began in full force. Over the next weeks, we spent all our free time, planning, talking, discussing colors, textures, hues, textiles, lighting, and fixtures. It was so much fun planning a home with them.

What we ended up with was the most amazing apartment plan I could ever want, but nothing like what I had first envisioned.

The kitchen plan ended up a wonderful bright apple green color with white cabinets and stainless steel appliances (which I already had.) I loved the thought of my new kitchen, and the storage space was going to be phenomenal! There were accents of rich warm brown through out. I only have small windows in the kitchen and was so pleased with how bright and airy it would feel while cooking and eating.

Planning the dining room was Choi's pet-project, and I was petrified of what he planned. When he showed me what he had come up with I flat out told him no. It was so outside my comfort zone, like the distance between Pluto and the Earth, that was the same distance this plan was to my comfort zone. It took him a full week to get me to even sit down and listen to him explain the entire plan without getting up and leaving. It was so over the top in my mind. When I was finally able to sit and listen to everything he had to say, I could see how it might be amazing...in someone else's house, not mine. After I had heard him out he also presented me with an alternate plan, which was much more my style. For four days after his presentation, my mind kept going back to the original plan. I shoved it out of my mind repeatedly only to have it come back, again and again. I held out for two more days before I asked Choi to show it to me again. He beamed in delight, and I sighed in frustration. After the second showing, I sat thinking quietly on the couch, while he took a phone call. When he had finished the call he came and flopped down beside me, his arm settling on my shoulders.

“What are you thinking?” He asked me quietly.

I sighed seriously frustrated, “I am thinking that I might be going crazy...I really don't know what to do.” the last part came out in a plaintive whine, as I let my head drop to his shoulder and buried my face against him. “What if I do this, and I end up hating it! Then I will be stuck with this!” I bemoaned into his shoulder.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me to him. Skin-ship was nothing new to the three of us, we hugged, and touched without thought, but nothing quite like our current position. It should have felt odd, instead it just felt comfortable and right.

“Here is what we will do, I will pay for my plan, and if you hate it you will still have money to change it...and if you don't hate it then it will be my gift to you, for being brave enough to take the risk.” He told me, leaning back further into the couch settling me against him.

I relaxed into him my head on his shoulder, my hand on his chest and said, “You pay for it and if I hate it I will change it, but if I don't then I will pay you back for it.”

“Why? Sinhae-a, why can't you just accept a gift from me?” He asked, a touch of sadness in his voice.

“A gift? Seung-hyun-a that would be an awfully large gift!” I exclaimed.

“No more so than the shoes you bought Ji for his birthday, or the collectable you got me last Christmas.” He replied.

“Yes it is! It is a great deal larger than either of those!” I pulled back from him to look at his face. “Those shoes cost, what $600, and the collectable was a bit more than that...this is 10 thousand dollars!”

He sighed and replied, “But in your budget, $600 dollars is a larger amount to spend, than 10 or even 20 thousand dollars is to my budget. Sinhae-a, it isn't the dollar amount, it is the percentage of what you have. You give more of what you have to Ji and I than you allow us to return to you! It is frustrating for us! We would love to shower you with things we know you would love, but we feel we can't because you would flip out. The purpose of money is to be used, not just stored up and hoarded...how many times have you told me that? Yet you refuse to allow me to use what I have earned the way I see fit. If I want to spend thousands of dollars on doing something for you that I know you will like, then give me the gift of the freedom to do so!” He finished, his eyes flashing.

I sat there dumbfounded. I opened my mouth to respond but nothing came out. I just sat there for several long moments with my mouth hanging open, gaping at him. He had snapped his mouth shut and I could see he was clenching his jaw in frustration. I slowly closed my mouth and looked out the window. “You are right.” I said at last, it was barely a whisper.

“What?” He said softly.

I too a deep breath before answering, “You are right.” I said louder, “Everything you said is right.” I looked back at him. “You are right.”

He reached out and hugged me to him again, “Thank you. I know that was not easy to say.”

“No, it wasn't. It isn't easy for me to accept gifts...the majority of my friends have significantly more money than I do, and I don't want to feel like I am always taking charity from them.” I told him honestly.

“Accepting gifts isn't charity! Allowing others to express their love for you through giving you things, isn't charity. Ji and I have talked several times on how to approach you about this, it hurts us when you reject things we want to do for you or get for you...you do so much for us in so many different ways, and we feel like our hands are tied when it comes to being able to do things for you. Just put your pride aside and allow us the joy of being able to do things to help you, please.” He pleaded with me, squeezing me harder to his chest.

“It isn't going to be easy for me...and we are going to have to start small.” I replied.

“Okay, we will start small....right after I pay for the dining room!” He declared triumphantly.

I laughed and relaxed, comfortably nestled against his side, the both of us staring out the windows at the city spread out before us. We stayed like that for a long while before I again spoke, “Where is Ji tonight?”

“Ah, there was some opening of some trendy store that he and Young-Bae wanted to go to...they said they would be back late.”

“Oh, those boys and their shopping.” I murmured tiredly letting my eyes close.

“Yup, I have never understood how they could really enjoy going to those things.” He told me, “I would much rather be right were I am, cuddling with you.”

I smiled and teased, “Just don't tell Ji, he'd be mad.”

“Yes, he would be mad that he missed out.” Seung-Hyun replied. “He likes you as much as I do.”

“Whatever...” I said before falling completely asleep.

I woke up several hours later, when I felt myself being picked up. I opened my eyes to find Ji-Yong and not Seung-Hyun to be the one carrying me.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” I asked sleepily, happy to see him.

“I got done earlier than expected so I came over to spend some time with my two favorite people. Only, when I got here, I found them both soundly asleep looking absolutely adorable hugging each other. I figured I would move you to a more comfortable place to sleep so you don't regret it in the morning.” He told me as he made his way to my bedroom. He had apparently already been in the room, for the bed was turned down and he laid me down carefully. “Since you are awake do you want to wash up?” He asked.

I burrowed into my pillows and made a sound indicating my desire to stay right where I was. He pulled the duvet up over me and tucked me in, “You are so cute when you are tired.” He sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out to brush my hair away from my face.

“Flattery will get you everywhere...” I said, happily snuggling into my warm bed closing my eyes.

I stopped all movement when I felt soft lips pressed against my forehead and then my lips. I slowly opened my eyes to look into his warm brown ones.

“W-what was that?” I asked shakily.

He smiled.

“That...that was me kissing you goodnight.” He told me softly, I could feel the warmth from his breath against my cheek as he said the words. He sat back up, looking down at me, smiling. “Go to sleep, and have good dreams.” He ran his hand down the side of my cheek, before getting up and leaving the room.

I laid there, my heart pounding, my mind racing. What was going on with those two? Was I missing something? I began replaying the evenings conversation with Choi in my head. Thinking about how he hugged me, re-examining his words...could it be...no, that was insane...they loved each other...I replayed a specific bit of a convo in my head...

“I have never understood how they could really enjoy going to those things.” He told me, “I would much rather be right were I am, cuddling with you.”

I smiled and teased, “Just don't tell Ji, he'd be mad.”

“Yes, he would be mad that he missed out.” Seung-Hyun replied. “He likes you as much as I do.”

Oh my god...was that a confession....“He likes you as much as I do.”

Then what about, Ji's actions tonight...that was crossing the line of friendship...to kiss me like that...could it be true? And if it was, what would be my response? As soon as I asked myself the question, the answer was glaringly obvious.

I sat up, mind going at warp speed. It couldn't be, could it? I got up and ran out to the living room, Ji and Choi were still there on the couch, talking quietly with hands entwined. They looked up in surprise when I came storming into the living room.

“Okay, what the hell is going on? Is this some sort of warped game you are playing with me? Because if it is I don't understand it!” I began quickly pacing back and forth in front of them as I ranted on, “You guys love to tease me, but this seems to be too much, even for you! I don't know what I am trying to say, because I don't know what is going on! All I know is that nothing makes sense right now! All I know is that the two of you are my best friends in this world and it scares the hell out of me to think of losing either of you! Why do you have to go and do things, and say things, that, that...that...make me like this!” I turned to look at them both sitting on the couch looking at me, concern and something else I couldn't put a name to, clear in both of their eyes. “Why did you kiss me, Ji? And why did you say that Ji likes me as much as you do, Choi? --NO! Never mind! I do not want to know! Forget it! I don't know what I am saying! Ignore me! I regret coming out here! I was never here!” I turned to escape back into my room, but I had only taken a step when I felt a hand grab my shoulder, spinning me around. Seung-Hyun stood his hand still on my shoulder, while Ji-Yong came and took my hand pulling me over to the couch.

“Come sit down, Sinhae-a.” Ji said quietly, sitting down and gently tugging on my arm for me to do the same. I sat in the middle of the couch with Ji and my right and Choi to my left. I sat with my back ram rod straight, my body tense, ready to flee.

Seung-Hyun picked up my hand lacing his fingers with mine, “I told you that Ji liked you as much as I did, because it is true.”

I looked at him wide-eyed, not knowing what to say. Ji then reached over and picked up my other hand interlacing his fingers the same as Choi had done.

“I kissed you because I couldn't help myself...I have held back for so long...I...” He stopped and swallowed. “Sinhae-a, we have come to realize that not only have we fallen in love with each other...we, well, we...”

“We have fallen in love with you as well.” Seung-Hyun supplied when Ji-Yong faltered.

“What did you just say?” I questioned softly after a moment of shock. I was unable to believe my ears.

“He said that we love you.” Ji-Yong repeated firmly.

I looked from one to the other, seeing the truth in their eyes, and it was too much. I was overwhelmed, overloaded with emotions and drowning, and I did the only thing I could do...I broke into tears. As soon as the tears started flowing, I was wrapped in two sets of warm loving arms. Choi, kissed my hair, while Ji kept assuring me it was all going to be okay. They just held me until I had cried myself out. They never let go, they never told me to stop, they just held me and loved me. After I had quieted down and gotten myself together a little bit, I finally spoke.

“My head doesn't understand any of this, not a damned thing...but...I-I think that my heart might.” My voice was rough from the tears, and while it didn't have a lot of volume, it was steady and sure. My heart was beating so fast and hard that it was a miracle it was still working at all. After successfully stamping down my feelings, for over six months they now flooded my entire being.

I heard Ji inhale sharply at my words as he pulled back to look in my eyes, “This isn't how we planned on doing this, we didn't plan for it to be such a shock like this...” His hands gently cupped my face as he spoke.

A small (almost hysterical) giggle escaped from me, “You planned a way that this wouldn't shock me? Please, I would love to hear that plan.” I said with a smile.

Choi laughed at that and shifted me in his embrace so that he was hugging me from behind. “We had planned to invite you out to Ji's parent's place for a small holiday. We were going to ease you into it over the course of three days. But my mouth got away from me tonight as did Ji's...just in very different ways.” He grinned over at his lover before he placed another kiss on the side of my head.

“I don't understand...I thought you two were—and I am—and well I thought...” I trailed off not able to articulate what I meant.

It was Ji's turn to laugh at me, “You thought we were only into men!”

“Well, YES!”

Ji laughed again and leaned forward to hug me and Choi again. “Oh, my Little One, how confused you must be!”

“Well, YES!” I said again.

“When we first realized our feelings for each other, we were floored. Neither of us had ever been attracted to men before in our lives. Even now I don't find any other men attractive, besides my amazingly handsome Ji-Yong-a. I have never looked at any other man and felt anything beyond friendship.” I peered up at Choi over my shoulder as he spoke, slowly, thoughtfully.

“We have had many conversations, marveling at the fact that we found each other, when we had never been looking at men in the first place. If people knew about our relationship, they would label us as homoual, and yet that isn't how we see ourselves.” Choi finished, as Ji-Yong took up the thought.

“We both still want to get married and have families, but at the same time we know what we have is never going to stop. We are not willing to give up what is between us. We have talked many times about what will happen when one of us finds a woman we want to spend the rest of their our lives with...it was during one of those times that Choi admitted he thought he was falling for someone. I had been attracted to you all along, but never acted on it out of respect for our jobs. But when---”

“WHAT?” I interrupted him, “You WHAT?” I leaned forward away from Choi's warm chest.

“This isn't really real...I must have fallen asleep and this is a dream.” I stood up to pace again, I stopped abruptly and turn to face them again. They wore twin expressions of confusion on their faces.

“You were attracted to ME? You, who could have, and has had, any woman he wants...you were attracted to ME? Whatever for????” Their faces had changed, the both of them. They now sported matching scowls.

Ji stood up, “Whatever for!!! You are kidding right!?” He stood there scowling at me, and I was taken aback, he almost looked angry.

“You are this warm, openhearted, amazingly talented, caring woman, who never once treated me as anything but a normal person. You give of yourself to those of us you work with, without pause or thought. You always go over and beyond what has to be done! Your laugh is one of my most favorite sounds in the world, and to top it all off you are so amazingly beautiful! The way your eyes sparkle when you are trying not to laugh, the way you bite your bottom lip when you are worried or in deep thought, the way you brighten any room you walk into....how could any man NOT be attracted to you?!” He finished, his face slightly flushed.

I sunk to the floor completely shocked, “That is how you see me?” I asked in a trembling voice.

“That and so much more.” Ji said simply.

“The way you have no idea how amazing you are is one of my favorite things about you, Little One.” Seung-Hyun gently told me, sliding off the couch to join me on the floor. Ji-Yong followed his lead as he too sat.

“I was resisting my feelings for Ji, in part because I knew I had feelings for you as well. The best part of my week were often times the hours I spent with you. Whether it was in our private lessons, or at the Wednesday English Dinners, spending time with you felt good but I still felt off somehow. I slowly came to realize that when Ji wasn't at the Dinners I felt like something was missing, while I was still happy something just felt off.” He reached over to hold Ji's hand in his own, and smiled over at him. “Later when we were in Shanghai, and you were in Japan with FAME, Ji and I were spending a lot of time together. I began to understand that I was happiest when I had you both near me. I am so thankful that my Heart had the courage to confess to me in Beijing. I knew then that I could accept Ji, and as long as I had my time with both of you my life was nearly perfect. When I told Ji I was falling for someone, I never had to fear that he would reject me or get angry. The freedom and peace that his love has given me is so incredible and humbling...thank you, my Heart!” Choi leaned over to kiss Ji tenderly.

Ji brought his hand up to Choi's cheek and told him, “I feel the same, my Dear One.”

My heart melted with love for the two men in front of me, and a tear ran down my cheek. “When I saw the two of you kissing in the hall, and then later talked to you both about your relationship, I truly was happy for you, but I was also heartbroken.” They both looked at me, shocked. “After seeing you kiss, I was forced to realize that I was in love with you both...and I believed that I had lost all chances of ever being able to show either of you that love.” I swallowed as another tear followed the first.

“When I sat and watched the two of you together, the love literally radiating from you both...my heart leaped with joy, while at the same time, broke in two. I decided then and there, that I would bury my feelings and do everything within my power to ensure that the happiness you had found would last, and never be used to hurt you. I could be happy, as long as you were.” I had been looking down at the floor while I spoke, as I finished I looked up at them to see that I was not the only one with tears falling. They reached out as one to each take one of my hands in theirs.

“You love us...both?” Ji-Yong-a whispered in awe, clutching my hand tighter.

“I do. I have for a long time, and I don't see how it could ever change. God knows I have tried to stop, but my heart simply refuses to obey. You guys have invaded, taken over, and set up residence in my heart...it hasn't been mine in a long time...it has been yours for forever.”

“Deal, we accept! We accept you heart and your condition, that it is ours forever!” Seung-Hyun jumped in quickly, “You can't back out of this, once you have given something, you can't take it back.” he pulled me forward towards him, and Ji again followed his lead. They pulled me forward to them where they once again engulfed me in their arms. We all sat crying tears of happiness like the saps we are, it is one of the most treasured memories of my life.

That was over two years ago, and I am quite happy to say that I am as in love today as I was then. No, that is wrong, I am more in love today. I didn't think it was possible for three people to love each other the way we do, but we prove each and every day that it is quite possible. That isn't to say that the years have all been rosey and happy...we have had our troubles, our crises, and our hard times...but because we truly put our loved ones before ourselves we are able to get past those hard times.

We ended up buying the apartment right above mine and totally remodeling the space to fit our needs. We keep both outside hallway doors, so that it would appear that Kwon Ji-Yong had simply moved in above me. His was actually the top floor, making it too expensive for me to purchase when I first moved in, Ji-Yong didn't have any trouble affording it. Keeping both doors made designing the space a little tricky but we had a blast figuring it all out. The kitchen turned out to be bright happy blue instead of green, with bright white cabinets. The dining room was Seung-Hyun's brain child and I love it! Warm orange walls with amazing patterns painted over it, heavy dark wooden table and chairs, and lots of fun eclectic pieces in the corners and such. The living room was a calm rich warm brown with a wonderful fireplace. We ended up getting rid of the spare bedroom downstairs and making the dining and living rooms larger, choosing to turn the master bedroom downstairs into a studio for Ji-Yong and Seung-Hyun. We kept the bathroom as a full bathroom just adding an extra door into the living area.

We actually had three floors because Ji's apartment had the rooftop as well. We put our master bedroom on the second floor. It became evident early on that we would have to convert the bedroom beside it into a massive closet, but we had the space so it was all good. We had my dream bathroom, complete with skylight and bamboo forest. We had two guest rooms, connected by a Jack and Jill bath. Tucked in upstairs was my office. It was a small little nook, and I loved it. Right next to my 'Nook' was a tiny kitchenette area, with stuff for hot and cold drinks. On the roof, we had an enclosed patio area as well as an outdoor patio with a jacuzzi. It was a green rated roof, which meant we could have a garden. All in all it was the most wonderful place on the face of the planet.

Yes, the most wonderful place on the planet, unless of course is was occupied by only one of it's tenants. Right now, it felt like a huge empty cavern, full of silence and shadows. I gave up looking for my fuzzy warm elephant slippers and padded out of the bedroom. I the hot-water pot for tea, on my way to my Nook. I snuggled down into my overstuffed blue velvet armchair, threw my fuzzy lime green throw over my legs and picked up my book. I woke up when the hotpot was whistling. I hadn't meant to fall asleep. I yawned and got up, going over to the kitchenette. I grabbed a mug, filled the tea ball with crushed peppermint, and poured the boiling water over it. I picked up the mug and turned to go back to my Nook, when I heard a deep male voice say, “You forgot to lock the door downstairs.”

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A/N: Just to let you know, the starts next chappie! Love you all, whether you comment or not! ;)