We all safely touched down in Seoul from returning from Singapore. Minhyuk and Ilhoon seemed to be getting along which looked really strange but it’s nice that he’s trying to make the effort to not be as pissed as he was. I think I can safely say without anything bad happening to me, I’m happy. Whenever I look at Ilhoon, I feel happiness and that’s something that I always wanted but never really had.

Returning to my normal job felt a bit refreshing. It meant I could actually sleep a normal schedule and not sleeping every so often here and there following the guys around. I stood at the register, hoping that people would stop coming in so I can get something to eat. I completely missed my lunch break since Sunny turned up as a no show.

“I’m sorry!” I hear a squeaky voice say, followed by loud clicks of heels hitting the tile. I look up to see who it was as I rung up the second to last customer in line.

“Oh… Sunny, where have you been?” I watch her hurry off to the back as I put the lady’s items in the bag. “Have a good day.” I say to her as she walks off. The next girl that walks up and points to the back door where Sunny is.

“Why did she leave you here all by yourself?” the girl says as she hands me her numerous amounts of lipstick.

“I’ll find that out in a couple of minutes…” I glare at her so she’d stop talking to me. If there was one thing I hated, it was little prissy girls like her that always asked too many question and was just all around nosey. After I rung up her stuff and gave her back her change, Sunny finally came out from the back and walks up to me.

“Did you go on break?”

“Yes, I’ve been standing here for about 4 hours waiting for you to show up.” I say sarcastically but was really the truth.

“I’m sorry. I got up late and had to do some things.”

“Ah, Minhyuk was over again?” I raise my eyebrows up and down as I poke her side with my pinky finger, trying to break her concentration face.

“YAH! Stop! Yes, yes he was!” she blurted out as she smacked my hand away. “You’ve been late before now that Ilhoon lives with you. You act like you aren’t a little horndog yourself!”

“Aigoo, I’m never late after morning . I still make it on time even with my legs are all wobbly. It’s called sheer will power.” I pat her on the back as I walk passed her to get my purse from the back.

“You’re horrible.” She says with a laugh as I walk out to her and put my purse on my shoulder.

“I know. I’m going to get something to eat. Are you thirsty or did you swallow enough before you got here?” I snickered at her as she gave me a death glare.

“YAH~! Shut up! No! I don’t want anything!” she yelled at me as I bent down to tie my shoe whilst I nodded to her, making sure my Jordans looked okay. I stood back up and looked across at the store where it all happened; when Ilhoon first asked me out. For some reason, I had to walk in for a second to… reminisce I guess.

When I walked in, I nodded to the person working and looked around at all the clothes with a smile plastered on my face, remembering looking at Ilhoon shopping and buying many things from here. I lightly jogged up to the second level when I saw a familiar slender figure. It all started when he said ‘Hey’, I remember how shy I was and now look at where we are; in love with each other. I slowly creep up behind him and poke his back, making him jump and drop the shirt he was holding.

“Hey!” I said with a wave and smile. Ilhoon fully turns around and looks at me with a smile.

“Hi, what are you doing here?” he asks whilst picking up the shirt off the floor and continuing to look through the rack.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? You don’t need any more clothes. We already have too much!” I tell him as I playfully hit his arm.

“I’m here with my hyungs. I can buy whatever I like.” He pokes my nose, making it twitch.

“Which hyungs?” I ask him with curiosity.

“Minhyuk and Hyunsik hyungs.” He replies back quickly, making me nod with shock.

“Oh, okay. I’m glad you guys are actually… trying to make an effort to like each other again. Do you still want to leave the group or was that your frustration speaking?” I ask him whilst following him down the aisle.

“No, I’m not going to leave. I mean, it’s a good idea but I think I’m better with the group. We do good music.” He says cockily, making me hit him in the arm.

“I’m going to get something to eat. I’ll see you at home.”

“Okay; love you.”

“Love you too.” We kiss each other before I walk away from him to feed my appetite.

~~~

Lately, I’ve been feeling sicker than normal. Usually when the seasons change, I get really sick due to the temperatures. I don’t know why, but it always happens but something felt off. But since me and Ilhoon have been humping like little bunnies, I wouldn’t be shocked if I was pregnant, whether I was on the pill or not, it happens. The thing was, do I tell him now without even checking or just… call somebody to prepare myself? Yeah, I rather call someone. I paced up and down the hall whilst I looked through my contacts. “WHY DO I KNOW SO MANY GUYS?! GOD! I’m such a freaking dude…” I scream at my phone as I hold a fist full of my hair and I’m stuck between Eunbi unni and Sunny. I know Sunny will curse me out… so we’ll just go with Eunbi unni. I dialed her number and put the phone to my ear as I started pacing faster as the phone rang.

“Yeoboseyo?” she says lightly, making me hold my breath.

“Unni… hey.” I say softly, not really sure what I should say. No matter the other two times I had to do this with Sunny, it was still awkward.

“Hey Tylie, what’s wrong? You sound like you’re upset or something.” She says kindly.

“Well… I’m not upset but I haven’t been feeling well lately…” I mumble into the phone, resting my back against the wall.

“Aww, do you need me to bring you something? I can bring you some more tea if you’re out.” She offers me with her usual kindness. I close my eyes as silence fell and I felt small beads of sweat form on my forehead. I put my hand on my forehead then let out a deep sigh.

“Uhm… that would be nice, thank you but… but along with the tea can you pick me up a pregnancy test?” she remained silent on the other end. My stomach started forming knots and it was making me even more nauseous.

“Oh my… oh my God, you think you’re pregnant? Are you sure?” she asks with shock.

“Yeah… yeah I think so.” I reply with a small nod.

“Okay, I’ll get you some tea and a test. I’ll be right there. Rest until I get there.” She says urgently as I hear her rustling around.

“I will. Thank you Eunbi Unni.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll be there in a bit. Bye.”

“Bye-bye…” I hung up the phone then slide down the wall into a squatting position holding my head in my arms as I let out deep sighs. I hear Kurama’s little bell coming closer and closer, followed by small meows. I looked up and rest my chin on my arm to look at him. I stick my finger at as he rubs his face against it. “Well, I think I’m going to have another baby Kurama… I’m not sad that I’m pregnant… I’m sad because I don’t want to lose it again for a third time…” I say to him as I lightly scratch under his ear making him purr like a loud car engine.

When I got up to stand, I felt my stomach drop; I had to throw up yet again for what had to be the 5^th time today. If I wasn’t pregnant, then I must have a crazy little virus bug in me or something. Adding to the many lists of things I hate, throwing up was one of them. While I was brushing my teeth, yet again, I heard a knock at the door. I hurried up to rinse my mouth out and ran downstairs to get the door.

“Hey unni, come in.” I say to her, standing to the side of the door as she walked upstairs. I closed the door and locked it, following her up the stairs.

“I have your tea in this bag and the test of doom in this one.” She hands me both bags and I take them, putting the tea into the kitchen. I take the test out of the bag and hit myself in the face with it repeatedly as Eunbi laughs.

“Aish… I can’t believe this right now.” I say with distraught.

“You made sure to take the pill everyday right?”

“Yeah, every day when I wake up. It must have took a break on some random day.” We both chuckle.

“You’re late on your period right?” she asks as she follows me to the bathroom. I walk in then leave the door cracked so I could still talk to Eunbi.

“Yeah~ I’m like a week or so late.” I say to her as I pee on the pregnancy test.

“What are you going to do if you are pregnant?”

“Uhm… tell Ilhoon and hope and pray he’ll want me to keep it because I don’t believe in abortions.”

“Isn’t he still 18? That’s a lot to take in for his age…” she says with a little doubt in her voice.

“I know, I know… but it was a lot for me too when it happened twice but the thing was, I was going to stand up and take responsibility for something that I’ve-we’ve done.” I sigh deeply as I wipe myself and flush the toilet. I put the test on the counter. Eunbi peeks her head whilst I was buttoning up my jeans.

“We’ll see in the next five minutes then.” She looks at me and gives me a small smile whilst I’m washing my hands. I dry them off and pace back and forth in the bathroom, trying to wait out the five minutes.

“Argh, this is driving me insane.” I say as I run my fingers through my hair and shake Eunbi from the anticipation. We both stand there silently until the five minutes are up. I pick up the stick hastily and sigh deeply.

“…” I say in a stiffened breathe. “Positive…” I say lowly as I put my hand in my hands and shake my head. Eunbi walks over to me and wraps her arms around me while rubbing my head.

“It’ll be okay. I know Ilhoon-goon will be happy about this. He’ll have to keep this quiet for quite a long time and even hide it from the company, but it’ll be okay.” She lifts my head and wipes my tears then smiles. “Don’t cry.”

“I can’t help but cry… this is a different situation than it was with Minhyuk. He wasn’t an idol then; we were just teenagers in high school in our 2^nd and 3^rd year… now this is completely different.” I sigh deeply putting the stick back down. “I’m just… argh, I don’t know what to think…” I wipe my face as Eunbi pulls me in for another hug. My arms automatically wrap around her to hug her tightly. I know soon… I’m going to have to tell Ilhoon.

~~~

It had to be at least a week since I found out I was pregnant. Whenever Ilhoon and I were alone and I had the perfect chance to tell him, I’d freak out and talk about something else. Usually I’m good at telling people news, regardless of being nervous or not, I still told them. 5Man-Show was doing their goodbye show on Music Bank tonight. Of course, I was due to do their makeup as usual. Thank God I wasn’t really showing yet but I felt horrible being bent over doing everyone’s makeup. After I was done each person’s makeup, I went to the bathroom to throw up. When I finished up Ilhoon, I ran to the bathroom, making everyone wonder what could possibly be wrong. A knock came from the other side of the door as I was throwing up my life.

“Are you alright Ty?” Ilhoon said behind the door.

“Y-Yes! I’m fine. I’m just not feeling well.” I said as I held my stomach and tried to catch my breath.

“We’re all really worried about you. Maybe you should go home and get some rest.” Eunkwang said followed by a couple of murmurs of agreement from the others. I open the door and lightly push everyone out of my way as I walk back to my station and take a sip of my water.

“I’m alright! Don’t worry about me! You guys have to get ready to go out on stage and do good.” I say with a small fist pump whilst I was drinking my water. The guys make a sort of sad face and nod to my words. Minhyuk walks over to me and whispers in my ear.

“Can I talk to you for a minute outside?” he looks at me with concern and seriousness. I nod and put my water down then follow him outside. He slowly closes the door then we walk up the hall, away from the room.

“I know you’re pregnant. You always threw up a lot when you were pregnant those other times.” Minhyuk says with concern as he rubs up and down my arms. “I’m happy for you but did you tell Ilhoon yet?”

“N-No…”

“No?! Why?! You have to tell him before you start showing!” he says lowly with conviction.

“I know that it’s just… this situation is really risky to hide. After a while, I’m not going to be here and everyone’s going to wonder where I am.”

“He’s going to have to tell the company he has a baby on the way. We can hide things like that. Many idols do that all the time, you know that.” He says nonchalantly.

“Yeah but… by the time he’s my age, the baby will be at least 3 or 4. That’ll just cause all sorts of commotion; saying he’s a young father, all that bull.”

“What’s all that matter when he’s going to be there for you and support you and that baby? Those are labels and you know that. Tell him.” He says with a smile. I let out a deep sigh and a nod.

“I will…”

“You will tonight when you go home. Just tell him. He’ll freak out of course but he’s not going anywhere. Your dad and brother are going to be traumatized along with Ilhoon’s parents and sister but you worry about that later.” He cups my cheeks and kisses my forehead making me break into a small smile.

“Alright, alright…” I said through another deep sigh.

“Congratulations.” He gives me a hug, lifting me off the ground a little, making me laugh as he walks me back to the room. When we walked back into the room, Ilhoon looked at the both of us.

“Everything okay…?” he raises his eyebrow at me then looking at Minhyuk as he pats him on the back as he walks back.

“Yes, everything’s fine. Stop worrying so much.” I pat him on the chest and smile at him. He smiles then rubs my sides and holds me as we both watch Rania performing on the TV. After about 20 minutes, they were called out to be put on stage to perform for the last time.

On the whole ride home, I couldn’t stop thinking about how I was going to tell him that I’m pregnant. Talking to Minhyuk helped calm my nerves but still… I didn’t know how to put it. When I parked out front of the house, I sat in front of the wheel, staring off at the steps. Ilhoon waved his hand in front of my face.

“Tylie, come back to earth. Come on babe.” He says to me followed by a kiss on my cheek. I look at him and nod as I felt my face turning pale whilst I walked behind him into the house. When I got up the stairs, I watched as Ilhoon was taking off his shoes. He turned around to say something but I interrupted him.

“I’m pregnant.” I blurted out as wore a clueless expression at the two words I just said to him. Ilhoon stared at me for a minute with shock then blinked a couple times.

“…Pregnant as in… having a baby?” he says with shock.

“Yeah… I’m having your baby if you want to have it…” we both gulped at the same time. Ilhoon exhaled then ran his fingers through his hair. I could tell he was letting it sink in.

“Come here.” He said lightly as I walked closer to him. He put his hands on my stomach gently rubbing it. “We’re going to have a baby?” he said with a smile and a chuckle.

“Yeah, we’re going to have a baby.” I smiled a little but wasn’t sure if he was happy or not. He pushed his lips to mine, kissing me hard with a laugh behind it.

“I’m so happy!” he hugged me tight as he held my head, swaying back and forth with me. “We’re having a baby!!!!” he yells as he holds my faces, making me laugh then I nod.

“You know this isn’t going to be easy… do you want to keep it or put it up for adoption?”

“No! No, I want this baby. I want to take raise a baby with you. Oh my God, I’m going to be a dad.” He puts his hands on his head. “We need to go baby shopping.”

“Well, not yet… I still have to go to the doctor’s and everything to really make sure but I’m positive I’m pregnant.” Ilhoon picks me up and spins me around as I grab onto him tightly whilst I whimper from surprise of spinning in the air. “Put me down before I throw up again.”

“Right, right…” he puts me down then cups my face again and kisses me deeply; I return the kiss. “Everything’s going to be alright, I promise you that. I was never going to leave you before but now, I’m really here to stay. I love you Tylie.” He smiles brightly at me as he holds me around my waist.

“I love you too Ilhoon. I’m happy I’m going to have your baby.” He puts his forehead against mine and we both continue to smile brightly. This time, I knew I was going to carry this baby to full term. Before, I lost Minhyuk’s babies because he wasn’t right for me and my body knew that. But now that I’m fully happy with how my life turned out and in an relationship with someone who loves me unconditionally, we were blessed with a baby and we’ll raise him or her well. I can’t wait to see what life has to offer us in the future.