Done by: yiling245

Username: cutterpillow

Title of story: Illusions and Memories

Link to story: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/23471

Characters & Story foreword/description:

feat: SHINee & OC

Description: Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, and the things you never want to lose.

Extras (What do you want me to do/ not to do): 

- Do not read the comments, it may spoil you.
- The beginning of the story is the FOREWORDS up to Chapter 7; The succeeding chapters only involves authors notes. 
- I know reviewers should give critiques, but can you do it a nice way? tee hee. Thanks. And oh, English is not my first language so beware. :D

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Title:  4/5

Yes, I gave you 4 because the title is good and alluring to the readers out there who actually take their time, but for those lazy people out there (no offense), they would not be THAT curious to find out what is your story about. The final chapter made me see why your title is named “Illusions and Memories”. I like your concept.

Poster: 10/10

 Your poster is also very alluring that makes me want to read your story the first time I looked at it.  So it’s a full mark! And the poster shop is good.

Description & foreword:  7/10

In my opinion your foreword is great, but it lacks the character description. I don’t know, maybe you don’t want it to be a spoiler, but I think that a character description would be better and your readers will be more interested once they know the overall story ya know?

The trailers are a good thing to implement or your story. It displays the angst in the story.

Plot originality:  37/45

Your plot is very original, one of the best that I have ever read, especially in onew’s story, the one about the wedding. I loved it and the emotions were expressed relatively well.

However, the plot is quite confusing though, because I didn’t know what stories you were writing about until I read chapter 8 when you mentioned that the main character was a writer and wrote out all the chapters and minho was her boyfriend. My suggestion is that you can explain a bit more details in your foreword and stuff, so that your readers like me, will be understand your plot better.

Writing style:  7/15

I do admire your way of writing but sometimes it’s really difficult to understand what you are trying to express in each chapter. You could have put in clearer labels so your readers could understand better.

Spelling/grammar:  3/5

The spelling and grammar is relatively good, except for some mistakes, considering that English is not your 1^st language. But I should point out some mistakes for example like “Somehow, I suddenly felt my tongue retreated.” In jonghyun’s story. It should be “Somehow all of a sudden, I felt my tongue retreating.”

Ending:  9/10

I love your ending! xD It still brings out the angst in the story, unlike other angst fanfics that I have read that change into a totally different genre at the end of the story.

General Conclusion: Good story, awesome plot but there is a need to improve on how you convey the meanings in the story :D

Total marks:  77/100 – Good job!

Remember to put this as one of the chapters in your story and credit me! Oh and also comment on my wall or here of how you think of the review and how I can improve! xD