Baro was leaving soon, the exact date was six days from now, but I couldn’t bring myself to go to him. Unless I was literally pushed to him, I was certain I wouldn’t have the courage to visit him myself. Like usual, I was pretty conflicted at the moment. By now, I’m not sure I remembered what it was like not to feel like I was being torn in two directions.

CAP confused the hell out of me. He gave me permission to go to Baro, but I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Did he genuinely want me to go or was this a ploy to distract me while he was with this other girl? Why hadn’t he told her about Min Ki, or me? Why had he been playing house with me when he was obviously busy elsewhere? I let out a sigh of frustration and dragged my fingers through my hair.

Did CAP even care? I cared. Maybe I was being selfish, but I didn’t want CAP to have another girl. I wanted him to focus on nothing but Min Ki if he couldn’t be with me. I sounded like a soap opera, or a really bad teenage drama, but I really meant it. For him to have been so nonchalant about getting me to repair/rebuild/whatever my relationship with Baro was a bit hurtful.

Of course, I hadn’t voiced anything to CAP. Talking about feelings wasn’t a strong point for either of us. This insane jealously wasn’t helping wither. I agonized over whether he was with her or actually at work. The whole thing was kind of sick. Was I being greedy, wanting CAP all to myself but still pining after Baro? Yeah, probably, but I couldn’t help it.

Still, I wouldn’t have any feelings of resolution until I saw Baro. I wasn’t supposed to meet him until the end of the week, and the closer it got to the day, the more anxious I became. On the night in question, CAP stayed to watch Min Ki, saying he’d wait up for me. He even wished me good luck. I wasn’t sure if he was just being nice or pushing me away.

Seeing Baro again stirred up a lot of old feeling. My heart fluttered when my squirrel prince smiled at me and my brain went fuzzy when he hugged me. Why did this feel so right?

“You look good,” Baro said.

“Thank you.”

We were quiet for a moment before Baro asked, “Do you still have that ring I gave you?”

I nodded. It had been years since I’d worn it, but it was still in its box, tucked in the bottom of my top drawer. Memories of when he gave it to me, and the hours previous to it, flooded my mind and I smiled in spite of myself.

“I still have mine,” he told me.

“Sunwoo-”

“The note you wrote me on our Namsan locks-I have it memorized. You talked about being hesitant to fall head first into something you were unsure about. I’m here for you Anna. I promise I will catch you if you fall. I wouldn’t be much of a prince if I didn’t rescue my damsel in distress.”

Oh yeah. The Namsan locks. My own words flashed before my eyes. I could see the younger me scrawling her heart out on a piece of paper. That day had changed a lot for Baro and I and today would change things some more. I’d been stressing out so much over what to do with these boys and a simple statement from Baro had helped me make a decision just like that.

“You’re right of course. I couldn’t rightfully call you my squirrel prince if you weren’t a genuinely good guy.”

“So…are you saying what I hope you’re saying?”

I shook my head. “Baro, I love you. I know for a fact that you are my first love. One day, you are gonna make a great husband and a wonderful father, but…but I’m not that twenty one year old damsel in distress anymore. The decisions I make don’t just affect me. I’m sorry but, I’m not leaving CAP.”

My chest felt light and airy as I finally let go of the weight I’d been carrying around. I snuck a peek at Baro, whose face I couldn’t read.

“I should give up on you then,” he said, “but I don’t think that’s possible right now. Maybe being away will make this hurt less, but they also say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Anna, I’m going to be there for you, no matter what, because I can’t live without you.”

“Sunwoo…”

“I’ll be alright,” he said sadly. “You, on the other hand, have someone waiting on you.”

I wanted to protest, or explain things, or do something  not to leave things between us like they were, but one look at Baro’s defeated face and I knew what I had to do- I had to go home and be with my family.