Chaerin couldn’t believe her eyes. She worked her fingers to the bone, but she definitely did not start hallucinating. Her palm touched the child’s head. She assured him there was nothing to be scared of. She tickled the back of his neck and soothingly, more out of habit, played with his hair. She kneeled in front of the child and caressed his left cheek. Her smile shined like the brightest star on the night sky, yet lacked the common heat.

“Dae-Hyun, go inside, alright? Go and eat.”  She uttered as Dae-Hyun merely nodded and ran straight to the kitchen, abandoning his shoes on his way there. He carefully crawled up a chair and enjoyed the meal in silence. He couldn’t help but watch Chaerin and the stranger through the window.

She approached the fence and opened the gate for Byung Hee, her expression not flinching once.

“...Hey.” she couldn’t find other words. It felt like centuries passed since she had last seen him.

Lee Chaerin wasn’t the same. Her clothes weren’t fashionable, or expensive for that matter. They were her mother’s old stuff; great around the house and the surrounding area. Her skirt covered her legs and only her muddy shoes were visible from those day’s rains. It was a miracle she hadn’t stained her skirt during her walks throughout the village while delivering grocery or when she borrowed milk from the neighbors. They gave some away every time because their cows produced more than enough. Her upper body was covered by a colorful shirt under a plain pink blouse that stank of food. Her fingernails weren’t polished and pretty – they smelled of onion and other ingredients used to prepare a delicious meal. An apron completed the image, along with her hair tied in a low ponytail. She had no make-up whatsoever and no jewelry. The only thing that reminded Byung Hee of the old Chaerin was her hair – golden locks curled lightly at the ponytail’s base and around her ears.

“Hi...” he answered after taking in her appearance. Her presence mesmerized him. Byung Hee loved blondes more than anything else. It was one of his curses. Somehow, seeing Chaerin’s hair bearing the same shade he had always enjoyed made his heart flutter. She was still the most gorgeous woman in the entire world.

Despite everything, Chaerin held to her pride, with her back straightened and not once removing her eyes from the man. Truthfully, it was hard to since she couldn’t differentiate reality from a nightmare. Byung Hee remained the same handsome man she had been attracted to. His stripped ed shirt revealed a white tank top. His sleeves were folded up and showed his tensed muscle as Byung Hee grabbed into the fence. His hairstyle was rebellious and the wound across his cheek worried her at first. At a second glance, it didn’t bother her too much. The scar kind of added to his appeal. His stubble washed away any boyish trace. A smile crept on Chaerin’s features because she knew that was a lie. Byung Hee could be so childish sometimes.

“Are you hungry?” the question seemed so normal, Byung Hee couldn’t take it out of context.

“Yeah... pretty hungry.” He answered, remembering how he barely swallowed something all week long.

“What are you waiting for?” She inquired and giggled from the man’s dazed expression. “Come inside and eat.”

Chaerin turned around and placed her right foot ahead. Byung Hee suddenly pressed his chest against her back. His arms wrapped around her body and shielded her chest.

Chaerin was left breathless.

A prolonged kiss on top of her head stopped her lungs completely.

Her heart was beating with such power her veins almost exploded.

“I’m sorry.” She heard him clearly as a human and not a ghost of past memories. “I’m so sorry.” His warm breath brushed her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

Chaerin pushed his arms away and walked ahead.

♥

Dae-Hyun’s favorite activity was staring. He stared at the morning birds singing their welcome message to the sun. He stared at clouds hovering above the celestial soup of the skies he could never reach. He stared at the neighbor’s hyperactive dog and wished they had one too. He stared at the spotted cat hidden at the back of the house with her newborn kittens. He stared at the washed fence which became paler each passing afternoon. He stared at the rain dropping silently from the Heavens. He felt sorry for the ball he had forgotten outside in the storm. Inside, he stared countless of times at the furniture, the walls and his meals, yet nothing seemed more interesting that day than fixing his eyes on the stranger.

Chaerin lightly slapped him over the head.

“Stop doing that! It’s not polite.” Dae-Hyun rubbed the back of his head and pouted before resuming, subtly, his activity.

Byung Hee involuntarily found himself doing the same. He couldn’t stop looking at the kid. His dark brown hair was a little long and it framed nicely his petite face. His jaw was square and his nose small, while his lips were rather full for his young age. His eyes fascinated Byung Hee because they were so familiar. The boy had good genes. He saw him gazing fascinated again. When he was caught, the boy quickly hid his face. Byung Hee smiled and almost laughed from the kid’s withdrawal, only to see him peaking again between his fingers.

Chaerin sighed as she placed the extra bowls in front of Byung Hee. She took her seat between the two and gazed at each for a fraction. Byung Hee silently thanked her. He hadn’t eaten a home-made meal in such a long time, everything burst inside his mouth like fireworks made of happy powder. His tongue was partying inside like crazy. The child snickered because it was the first time he had seen anybody eat that fast and with such hunger.

“Dae-Hyun!” he stopped and pouted again, pleading innocent in front of Chaerin.

Byung Hee lowered his bowl of rice and watched as the child’s shoulders sank in annoyance and his brows connected slightly.

“Go to your room, alright?” Dae-Hyun nodded. He hadn’t spoken during the entire time. With much curiosity lingering inside his head, he slowly retreated from the table and disappeared after turning the corner.

Byung Hee placed the bowl and chopsticks away, facing Chaerin with stern eyes. She could feel his gaze ripping her apart.

“Who’s that child?” the question popped without delay. Chaerin stiffened in her chair.

“Mine.” Her answer couldn’t have been more straightforward. Yet, Byung Hee hadn’t quite understood it.

“Yours?” he responded. If he hadn’t let go of the chopsticks, the tremble in his hands would have been much more visible. “As in, he’s your child?” his tone gradually lowered “He’s your kid? He’s your son?” until it became a whisper. For a man such as Byung Hee, anger usually came first, yet the saddening reality struck him faster and skipped the chain of jumbled emotions.

“Yes.” Chaerin avoided for the first time his look. It was as if Byung Hee judged her, or she was too trapped with her fears to realize he merely worried about the consequences of what she implied.

“Who’s the father?” Byung Hee regained some strength in his voice. He picked up where he left and let the chicken curry melt in his mouth. It was tasteless and odorless. All of his senses numbed.

“He left us.” Chaerin, again, answered right away like a well-prepared speech. Those sincere articulations erased any doubt. She wasn’t lying.

“When?” Byung Hee couldn’t swallow. His mouth and throat were dry. His hands fumbled with the bottle of water, only to be taken away from him by Chaerin. She uncapped it and poured the liquid inside a glass with cupcake decorations.

“Not long ago.” She pushed the glass forward. Byung Hee reached for it and stopped midway. He lifted his view and watched Chaerin’s brilliant orbs melt inside his.

“Why?” he returned to whispering as if the death could hear them.

“I don’t know. He just disappeared.”

Dae-Hyun lightly kicked the air in front of him, stranded in their conversation. He couldn’t leave, not before hearing who the stranger was. He hid himself behind the wall separating the hallway from the kitchen. His shadow blended in.

“Was he good to you?” Chaerin left her seat. “How old is... Dae-Hyun?” She gathered the dishes as Byung Hee seemed to end his dinner.

“Why do you want to know?” she snapped. Byung Hee heard the tap water running. Clangs of dishes touching disturbed his thoughts and left him silent. She dried her hands with a towel and turned around just as Byung Hee approached her.

“Chaerin I...” he started, only to be cut by her hand.

“Spare me. You had to go, I understand.” She folded the towel and threw it on the counter.

“Yes, but I...” he continued and spread his arms, ready to comfort her with another embrace.

“And I know. I heard the news. It wasn’t your fault you were attacked.” Chaerin pushed him away and walked to the table where she took all the empty bottles and dropped them in a box meant for recycling and milk.

“Chaerin, please, listen...” he followed her, he tried to face her; he tried to make himself heard. Chaerin had enough as she untied her apron, took it off and tried as hard as possible not to give in before him.

“No, we cannot start over. You hear me? I have a child. Do you have any idea what that means?”

Byung Hee cared less. He literally survived an armed attack just to see her again.

The rain outside intensified. The clock on the wall announced 7 PM.

Byung Hee cornered her.

Chaerin’s grip on the apron loosened as Byung Hee kissed her on the lips. Both their eyes closed. Chaerin instantly wrapped herself around Byung Hee and once again felt how it was to be loved.

Not a one-sided love, not a teenager crush, not a silly romantic adventure – but love words she could not describe.

She hit the table’s edge with her waist. The glass filled with water trembled from the slight push.

Almost three years have passed for her to feel whole again.

♥

Dae-Hyun got so bored. He could only hear the rain and nothing more.

He stared again at the walls. He stared again at the hallway. He stared again at his mother’s bedroom door as he tiredly entered and tried to get up on the bed. He leaned against the pillows and stretched after the photo on the table, the photo of the stranger and his mother.

Dae-hyun pondered who he was.