One Year Later

“Somebody open that door!” Chaerin yelled from the kitchen. She picked all the cherries from the bowl and threw the seeds. Little by little, the chocolate cake came to life due to her skilled hands. Pleased with her craftsmanship, she carefully put the cake in the fridge and went to meet their guests.  Fine black eyeliner traced her eyes. Some blush made her look healthier, while her rosy lips were kissable only by Byung Hee. He claimed his reward right away. “Ah, stop it!” she protested before agreeing a kiss can’t hurt her.

Chang Sun smirked and patted the man’s back “Alright, we got it, you two are inseparable, but could you please stop?” Hyuna giggled as she placed the gifts near the colorful pile. A curious pair of eyes followed her as it searched for his friend. “Ji Woo!” his father called. The kid promptly presented himself in front of Chang Sun and awaited orders. “Go and play with the kids, okay?” Ji Woo grinned and didn’t wait. He ran and screamed as much as his lungs could hold.

The four remaining adults chuckled in unison. Seungho saluted them from afar. He was trapped with the children alongside Cheol Yong. Somebody had to keep them busy. Sang Hyun shared old stories with Minji and constantly received shock therapy from Bom’s spontaneous ideas.

“I still can’t believe you married and had a child while I was gone in the army” Byung Hee told Chang Sun as he handed him a beer.

The other snorted and pointed towards Chaerin “You talking about me? What about you? My kid’s a few months younger than yours!” Chaerin gave him an annoyed look. The man chickened behind Byung Hee and waved in defeat. Hyuna couldn’t hold it any longer. She covered and laughed away at their attire.

“I swear I’m raising two kids if I didn’t know better!” it was Byung Hee’s turn to hide behind Chang Sun as both took their beers and retreated somewhere safer. Women were dangerous, especially mothers – never deal with a mother. She’ll rip you apart before you could open your mouth.

“JI WOO!” Dae-Hyun’s cheerfulness was the loudest of them all. He stopped in front of his friend and high fived him. Ji Woo was Dae-Hyun’s complete opposite – his face was longer, his eyes were smaller and honey-brown when the sun hit them. His lips weren't as full as Dae-Hyun’s, but an equally cheeky smile possessed his mouth around Dae-Hyun’s devious mind. Both looked like replicas of their fathers.

That displeased Chaerin deeply. She figured Byung Hee’s genes would be more powerful because of her European heritage, yet she never dreamed of having a smaller version of Byung Hee in her life. She turned to Hyuna and gave her a rather sly look “How’s the baby?”

Hyuna touched her tummy and pouted from the sudden question “I barely found out I’m pregnant again, why does everybody else has to know?”

“Because we want a girl, that’s why!” Dara suddenly grabbed both women from behind and stretched the corners of as much as possible “So, it must be a girl. Got it?” Hyuna was a little scared by her, so she merely nodded and enjoyed her banana smoothie.

“I can’t believe it’s Dae-Hyun’s first real birthday party...” Chaerin suddenly spoke and broke the tension between the other two. Dara embraced her tight and kissed her cheek from behind.

“Wait until he’s a teen.”

“OH GOD NO!” the fourth voice joined the little group. Jin Ah shuddered at the mere thought of having two hormone driven boys. She couldn’t figure out how Chaerin and Hyuna will deal with that.

The girls burst into all-knowing giggles.

On the other side of the room, Byung Hee had a special gift for a special someone. He called Dae-Hyun in the kitchen. They both occupied their sits as Dae-Hyun patiently waited after his father. He somehow felt stiff because he couldn’t read the elder’s mind, no matter what. His father was still a mystery for him to crack.

“You asked me last year what my scar is.” Dae-Hyun noted the event and admitted with wide eyes. Was he really going to receive an answer? “I can only tell you this,” Byung Hee invited Dae-Hyun to touch again the mark on his left cheek “As long as I have it, I remember why I’m here today.” Dae-Hyun was too young to understand. Only later will he truly discover what his father meant that day. He didn’t seem satisfied at all – but it was better than nothing and as Dae-Hyun learnt in the past year, small details made the difference from something awful to something amazing. He embraced his father and thanked him for everything, not with words, but sincere gratitude. “Now go and play, okay? We’re having sweets later~” Byung Hee pinched his nose and Dae-Hyun protested.

“Stop it~~~!” he never liked it. Byung Hee pushed his face forward and offered a peace treaty. Dae-Hyun immediately squeezed back his nose.

♥

“Dae-Hyun’s asleep... finally” Chaerin stretched her arms and back as she approached Byung Hee. She leaned against his back like a rag doll. Byung Hee ruined her fun when he turned around and forced her to straighten her position.

“You’re beautiful” he wiped some leftover make-up from under her right eye. She smiled, only to try and act tough again by ignoring the compliment.

“I’m an old woman!” Byung Hee pulled her in an embrace so tight Chaerin couldn’t even wrap her arms around him. They both chuckled as Byung Hee kissed her head and let go.

“I’m in my 30s and never felt better, how are you an old woman?” Chaerin chuckled again. She kissed his chin, his left cheek and his mouth.

“It’s because you and Dae-Hyun are restless.” He couldn’t contest that. Instead, he leaned down and kissed her back, again and again until Chaerin’s felt her back press against the wall. She closed her eyes and welcomed Byung Hee’s warmth. His chest pressed against hers as his hand lowered to her waist and his lips traced patterns down her skin. “Hey... do you know... my English name?”

“Actually, not...” Byung Hee admitted ashamed. It never crossed his mind that she even had one.

Chaerin softly smiled and their eyes met one final time. “It’s Faith.”

There’s a hallway; a pitch black hallway. There are three doors: one offers too many lies, the other only pain and the third gives you freedom. Unknown to me, all this time I have been walking backwards, chained to the past I had to relive on and on. Next time I’ll enter that hallway I’ll step forward. What I’ll find there will be three more doors. The first one is Byung Hee, G.O, the one man that knew how to treasure me just the way I am and at the same time showed me something I couldn’t have discovered alone. The second is Dae-Hyun, my first and only child, the greatest treasure in this world, who matured me and made me the richest person in the world through an abundance of his joy. The third door is our family and our friends: our best and our worst, sweet memories along with nightmarish situations. That’s just part of life. There’s always a middle ground – nothing’s painted only black and white. Mixing red, green and blue also produces the whole spectrum we’re surrounded by as humans. There are endless possibilities, so why think none of them could touch you one day? Nature changes, so, normally we change too.

If I die tomorrow, I know my body will return to the soil I once came from. And I’d have no regrets, maybe just wished I would have had more time to spend with those that are part of me. I’d still be there for them. Billions of people have died and billions of people have been born. That spiritual force that drives most is their first and last thought – who are they? Are or were they loved? Are or were they known? Has their life mattered at least for one person? I couldn’t know, at least, not yet.

Let me tell you a little secret.

You know what’s special about those doors? There are no walls separating them. I have broken them all with love.

Because in the world we live in what’s left is love, and most importantly, hope.

Not hope for a better tomorrow. But hope that someone, out there, somewhere, found this secret too and is now searching, discovering and is amazed by the world they’re surrounded by. Their world might be books, films, dogs, or silly things like a cupcake on their birthday.

My avenue of hope is my family; my friends; my life.

And I continue to hope they hang into those small things and never forget they are never alone.