“You’re ruining your make-up!”

Mir couldn’t stand still. He also rejected the idea of using his real name because he found the meaning of “Mir” excellent when compared to the oddity of his full name. It made him stand out in a crowd as that scraggy cat nobody wanted to touch or feed; most chose the fat, fluffy one and he admitted he sometimes did that too. It was all about pomposity. His stage name met the second expectation.

He wasn’t in the mood to entertain the world.  It wasn’t fair anymore. Instead, he lazed and wished to humor his senses. Mir started shuffling though his phone’s games until he ended up tilting his Samsung from left to right and grin like a fool. He had a little ice-cream wearing funny hats which made cute sounds when it jumped around the screen or collected golden discs floating in mid-air. Mir nicknamed them honey cookies because these little bees appeared and his ice-cream died if they stung it. The bees were obviously not keen on losing. Random apples appeared from time to time and boosted his little fellow high up the skies. Children were cheering him as he jumped and made more points, but also if he failed. The ice-cream’s serene expression and those voices were a little disturbing, the second especially since he clearly heard them through the headphones. He pulled them off and threw the phone carelessly as it slid over the table.

His reflection made him feel eerie. Only one of his eyes had make-up on; the other was at the mercy of the woman in charge of his beauty. She was taking a well-awaited break. It frightened him a little. Was he Janus? Then again, his Roman mythology knowledge was below the required level to compare his mortal image to that of a god. He read somewhere (probably in a manga) that Janus wasn’t a bad guy. He didn’t know why he felt troubled. He tried to laugh it away, yet his expression grew heavier. DC Comic’s Two-Face might be a better correspondent. Mir frowned and in half of his lower lip before them both and leaning backwards. His manager was busy dealing last minute details with the filming crew. He hated doing solo stuff - mostly shows where companionship had a greater importance. He’d been afraid of complete strangers judging him based on a few assumptions during quick questioning and answering sessions. He knew he had a loose mouth and his thoughts jumbled. He almost never filtered them and they escaped in the form of spoken words.

The ceiling, paler and whiter than her skin, gave him a light headache. He attracted stupidity again. Mir closed his eyes and let the sweet perfume of flowers flood his nostrils. There were no flowers in the room and the only fragrance he could imagine was that of her perfume.

There was an unspoken rule in their band that was highly respected. Everybody knew that Joon liked Hyuna. Everybody knew Cheondung had his soft spot for IU and his sincere love could be seen plastered over his goofy face every time somebody mentioned her name. Everybody also knew who Mir fancied most out of the girls he had encountered and how he confessed his undeniably determination. He could do anything for her, even take medication for his absurd outburst. Then he caught their manager shouting at G.O for not keeping a low profile. He started dating Mir’s angel. News spread as fast as the sweet peach gem he ate with brown bread that day. Mir was so furious. How could G.O dare trespass their code? Mir had to at least confront him first about it. In his vision, Mir would have fought and fought. If he were defeated, he would have stepped down and accepted G.O’s victory. Mir was a child at heart, maybe one that couldn’t handle dating.

He pretended nothing was wrong for the time being. He merely shrugged it and gave fake smiles and crocodile tears to replace the misery tormenting his soul. Mir steadily softened as G.O didn’t look content at all with the glorification of their supposed relationship. It was as if he wasn’t denying the rumors, but he wasn’t confirming them either. Mir didn’t know what was going on, until he could see that the once cheerful Jung Byung Hee turned into some kind of mix between a restless demon and a shadow that had nothing to consume and looked amazingly tired, with puffed ruby eyes and dry lips, chewed lips. Mir subtly asked Seungho if there was anything wrong between him and the girl. Of course leader merely assured him their packed schedule was the sole reason. Why would Seungho tell him the truth? It was also pretty hard to avoid photographers and hungry journalists that rushed for the burnt bottom of a dessert. Mir hated that bit of home baked cakes, but what could he do than throw it away? It was his mother or sisters’ work, so it would have been rude to refuse eating it, even if the taste left behind was bitter. He pondered whether those feeding on scandals were the same, like they didn’t want to disappointment someone and must state their position, they must have a negative or positive reaction and they must read one or more articles stating almost the exact same thing. Mir had a feeling they could easily be avoided. He also wondered what scraps G.O had hidden from them. He no longer saw him as some sinister devil that was out to destroy him. After all, he also had the power of ignorance somewhere cramped inside of him, which nagged every time Mir skipped over it.

“You mocked her, haven’t you?”

Something knocked hard at G.O’s heart and Mir wished to find out what. He did after six months of the so called dating rumors. They turned out to be false. What took them so long for a verdict, he would never know. It could be because G.O couldn’t differentiate anymore real from ideal. Half a year was a lot for a quivering heart and Mir felt betrayed once more. Maybe G.O really had a thing for his girl. He couldn’t face him anymore. Seven more months passed and G.O became worse. Mir simply observed him from afar and let the rest deal with his sudden temperamental nature.

One night, Mir could no longer hold inside the rage. Did G.O really joke around with the woman of his dreams?

 “I’m not asking for forgiveness”

Then what could he be possibly asking for? Mir snorted from his position and even then he could picture perfectly G.O’s face when he asked him about what in the world happened between him and Nana. Mir adored every inch of Im Jin Ah and couldn’t relate to what was going on around G.O’s head at that time. He screamed and shouted in front of him.

Mir opened his eyes as Nana’s voice suddenly made him panic. She gave the staff members a simple bow before she took her place next to Mir.

Awkward silence constrained both.

Surprisingly, Mir couldn’t focus on her at all. The only thing repeating in his mind was Chaerin’s image appearing at their dorm entrance, waiting for Byung Hee to leave and let Mir with hollow answers. There was something between them that made Mir stare at their distancing figures up the hallway, until he locked the door behind and scratched the wooden surface with his back. He ruffled his hair, not sure anymore if there was any point of trying something serious in the first place.

“Oh! Is that Happy Jump?”

Mir glanced at Nana as she stretched over the table and gave his phone a look. He forgot to end the software. Mir simply nodded and pushed nearer his phone for Nana to play with. Mir had to thank in a way Byung Hee. If not for the scandal, maybe he wouldn’t have found later the courage to confess.

It had been over three and a half years since Bang Cheol Yong and Im Jin Ah became an official couple.

♥

“Chang Sun...”

His voice trailed off.

“Good to see you too, Byung Hee...”