I laid in the dark, my eyes wide open, I couldn't sleep. It wasn't a pain that woke me up or anything, I just felt like I had something to do and a lot of unsaid words to say. I closed my eyes and get some rest for the big performance that was less than twelve hours away. But I was restless. Instead of struggling to sleep, I shifted over to my desk and the table lamp at the corner. I took out some stationary I kept in the right drawer. I started with the usual 'dear'.  I twirled my pen in deep thought.

I had spent much of the night contemplating and writing down my thoughts. When I was finally satisfied, I sealed it in an envelope with the recipient's name, leaning it against my pen holder. I crawled into bed and slept soundlessly before the morning arrived. That morning I acted as if nothing was special. I hadn't told my parents about the dance competition, knowing that they would refuse to let me out the house. 

"What are your Saturday plans, MInah?" Dad asked looking up from his newspaper.

"I'm going to go out with a friend." I replied engulfing a spoon full of my Cheerios. 

"Who's the friend and where are you two going to go?" Mom questioned. I pretended to swallow as she anticipated my reply.

"He's a classmate. We are going to support some of our friends in a competition" I lied. It wasn't really convincing but my parents believed it. I left the house after dad, giving mom a hug just before I did. "Come home safe" she whispered in my ear. "I will" I replied. 

After the embrace, I grabbed my backpack that I had packed yesterday evening with my outfit, water and other necessities. I went to take the bus and then the subway transit to the busy city. Following the directions appointed to me, I found my destination. Lay had waited for me at the entrance and together we entered. Inside, participants were to wait backstage. As we strolled through to gain a feel of the competition, we couldn't help but compliment their dances. All were so professional and sophisticated. 

"Do you think we have a chance?" Lay asked. 

I sighed but managed to stay as positive as I could. "A fair chance." He took a long, deep exhale and nodded. 

We changed to our matching outfits that consisted of a leather jacket over a white shirt and dark bottoms. We rehearsed a few times feeling our bodies tense as we continued. There were only a few more competitors before it was our time to be in the spotlight. 

"You don't have stage fright, right?" he asked after a while, we took a break in the chairs lined against the wall. 

I shook my head in response to Lay's question. I could see he let his breath go. "I've never performed before..." my voice trailed off. At that point Lay could practically face palm himself. He spent the last few moments trying to tell no to be scared and even if I mess up, act as if nothing was wrong. Honestly, I didn't know if he was trying to help me or calm himself. I could see the fright in his eyes as I hoped he wasn't thinking negatively. I didn't even know when I had held his hand and started to admired his features. His eyes, the corner of his mouth and even his temples that started to sweat. I lifted my hand to brush the sweat, though he didn't notice and continued to speak.

"Lay and Minah!" a young man called reading from his clipboard. Lay stood up. Our fingers were still entwined as he lead me to the man.

"That's us" he said.

"You're up next" the young man said. He asked us to follow him as we made our way through the backstage facilities to the left side of the stage, behind the curtains. "Whenever you are ready" he added before he returned to his job. 

The both of us we left there, taking deep breaths, trying to calm the butterflies in our tummy. "Let's go" he held my hand tightly onto the stage with dim lights just for our act. He had finally let go of me as we turned around, continuing to breathe deeply. My heart pounding and breath quickened as the music started. 

I think that the stars would have waited- for us. I was so acquainted with this line from the song, from the day we had first danced together. The familiar routine came out of reflex as the both of us danced in sync. Stars falling down. Stars falling down. We rotated our hips as we moved closer, one in front of the other. I held my arms straight out allow Lay to slide his hands across and finally pushing them back down to my side. The aura of warmth continued as Lay stood behind me. His hands moved up from mine till they covered my ears as I did my part. I do. I do. I do. We turned around and finally moved to opposite sides of the stage. The bridge of the song played and once again we were in sync with each other and the music. I love you. The feminine voice sang. It marked the end to our performance where he pulled me into his arms. At the moment, my quickened breaths forced my legs to give in. My weight dragged us down, with me still in his arms. His voice called my name but I was too weak to respond. Then everything turned black, pitch black. 

Beep. Beep. I heard the sound as the machine counted my heartbeats. I felt the oxygen mask wrapped tightly around my head. Every inhale and exhale ached. My eyes could hardly open as if glue kept them together but I forced them open. Seeing the white surroundings and the appliance, I knew it was the intensive care unit although I was here only once before. Every breath had me scream internally with pain. Dad was pacing back and forth. He seem tired and it must have been from trying to cope with work and my illness. By my bedside, I saw mum with her head laid down on the sheets. It was only now did I notice her grey hairs. The amount of years she had taken care of me almost giving up everything to a normal life. I tried to reach for her hair. My subtle movements had woken her. She had lifted her head slowly, surprised there was motion. She looked my way.

"Minah? Are you awake?" Mum's eyes were glazed, her hands shivering. Dad had rushed over, on the other side of the hospital bed, tearing as well. "Umma's going to call the doctor" she assured me. I held her hand before she got away. I had something to tell her and I couldn't wait for the doctor. "What is it?" Mum and dad leaned their ears closer to me. I removed my oxygen mask weakly. 

"On--my-- desk..." I managed to say. It was all I could say. I wasn't able to continue. 

My breaths slowed, the last sight of mum and dad blurred, hearing compromised, eyelids became heavy, thoughts slurred and then my heartbeat stopped.