Ren opened his eyes to find himself on grassland. He got up and leaned his back against the tree that he was lying by. “Ouch, my head hurts. Where am I?” He rubbed his eyes to take a good look at his surroundings. “I clearly remember being in my room. What happened?” He asked himself. Not long after, realisation hits him. “Oh, wait. I killed myself. This must be heaven, I guess? But it’s awfully dark here. This is the opposite of heaven. Am I in hell?”  Ren’s eyes widened. “I must be, huh? Suicide is a sin after all.” Ren got up dusting his bottom but his legs felt numb so he stood by the tree while letting the numbness pass. He then decided to walk around. There’s where he spotted 2 dark figures on top of the green hill and approached them. “Why does this place look so familiar?” He asked while walking towards the 2 figures. He got shocked when he got closer. “J-jo-jonghyun? What is he doing here?” Ren started to panic. “Who’s that beside him?” He took a step closer to identify the other figure beside the one who he claimed to be JR. “Is-is that me?” He fell back on the ground when he spotted his own figure beside JR. “Am I dreaming? This must be a dream, right?” Ren was beyond panic. He didn’t know what to do until the JR’s figure started to speak with his own figure’s hand on JR’s chest. “Minki a...I love you." It was a soft whisper but he heard it very clearly.

Everything feels like déjà vu. Although he don’t remember that scene but it felt like it had happened before. Right then and there, he wanted to run to JR, hug him and tell him that he loves him too. So, he did. But before he’s able to reach him, he’s suddenly surrounded by a circle of blazing fire. “JR! JR! JR!” Ren was trying to reach to JR but the fire is obstructing him. “JR! J-R! Help! H-he-help!” Ren was being suffocated in the circle - oxygen level depleting by the second. The figure that he claimed to be JR doesn’t seem to take notice at all. It’s as if they’re in 2 different dimensions. Slowly, he collapses to the ground not being able to breathe any longer. Everything was pitch-black once again.

─ ─ ─

“Minki, Minki! Wake up! Wake up, Minki-yah!” Ren heard a voice calling him. He opened his eyes and saw BaekHo. He had on a worried expression. “What’s wrong, BaekHo? Why do you look so worried?” Ren asked but BaekHo kept calling for him. “Yah, Kang BaekHo. I’m already awake. What do you want?” Ren got annoyed but BaekHo doesn’t seem to have heard him. Ren turned around. He was shaking something...or someone. “W-w-what?!!!” Ren was shocked seeing his own body in BaekHo’s hand. Blood spluttered all over the floor. “I-I...I really am dead???” He couldn’t believe that the scissors he took actually killed him. He never thought. It was a foolish thought, in fact and he regretted it after seeing the worried members surrounding his body except for JR. JR was just sitting there on his bed with a blank expression staring at Ren’s dead body. He heard the sound of an ambulance. After a little while, a bunch of people came into the room and their manager as well. His body was brought away and the members followed leaving JR behind.  

Ren got up from where he was sitting and sat beside JR on his bed. JR still had on the same expression since the beginning and he hasn’t move an inch. “I’m sorry, Jonghyun-ah.” Ren started to speak knowing that JR wouldn’t be able to hear him because he didn’t react. “You’ll be happier without me.” JR’s hand was just lying casually on his lap so Ren intertwined their fingers together and put his head on JR’s shoulder. This moment was what Ren wanted for a lifetime – without him being dead, that is. Even so, he closed his eyes to enjoy the short moment together. He knew it wouldn’t be long before he had to go – heaven or hell. He doesn’t know. He just wants to be with JR like this as long as he can.

After sitting there together about 5 minutes or so, JR got up and head out and Ren followed. He followed him out the room, down the stairs, into the living room and into the kitchen. At the very moment he stepped his foot into the kitchen, he immediately regret what he had done. He shouldn’t have killed himself. He shouldn’t have. JR had a bouquet of roses on the table, a cake box and a wrapped present box. He ran to JR, hugging him tight from the back with tears running down his face. “I’m sorry, Jonghyun! I’m sorry!” Ren wish he knew how he could bring himself back to life at that moment. JR took out a rose from the bouquet and speaks to it. “Minki...why? Why?! I prepared all these to give you a surprise. I thought you would be touched once you see this. I really don’t know what to feel right now. I’m so confused. Minki, don’t you not love me anymore?” JR threw the rose he was holding to the ground and cried on the table.

“Wait...Jonghyun...you said my name. You remember me? Didn’t you lose your memory?” Ren didn’t know how to react. So all this while JR had been lying to him. He had been lying to him – that’s the only thing playing in his mind right now. Lies. Ren hate lies. He hated it more than anything. JR should know better than to lie to Ren. “I hate you, Jonghyun. I hate you for lying to me.” Ren said and sat across JR on the table just staring at him. Both of them stayed that way for a long, long time.