“Omo, Lian?! You can hear me? Don’t leave!” Babo, how could I leave? Her heals made clicking noises through the room, and when she threw open the door it made an unpleasant noise as it hit the wall. Loud voices were heard on the hallway, and soon after more footsteps were heard approaching the room. Finally I could distinguish the words the people were saying, “Are you positively sure?” “Yes, vey sure. Her fingers twitched, as if she was trying to tell me she was there.” I heard manager Kim suppress a sniff. The doctors cold fingers were moving and touching my face and wrists, with inhuman concentration I was able to move only my pink again. I heard the doctor and nurse gasp in shock. Then a silence fell, and I couldn’t figure out what was going on.

Finally the doctor spoke again. “Romy? I know it’s hard for you, but if you’re able to hear me move something.” Really? Couldn’t they just notice I was hearing them when I just moved? Already gathering up my strength to move my pink again, the doctor spoke again, but more directed to managed Kim than to me. “We have to know if she is moving on her own, or if it’s just a muscle twitch. This will help us indicating Romy her chances for recovery.” To me he added, “Romy? It’s easier to move your lips than your fingers.” Ah, well this was useful information. Determined to prove them I was conscious, I directed all my concentration to my lips. Just. An. Inch. A simple small twitch in my lips. A small movement in the corner of my lips. I wasn’t sure if they could see, I was only sure of all the energy and effort it cost me. A gasp, and then laughter and several voices talking to one another, all at the same time. I relaxed back in the bed again, they had noticed. That was the only thought resounding in my head, they noticed.

~~~

The only way to describe the next weeks was that they were a pain in the . Constant surveillance of my body and progress, this was bearable. Also the never ending rehabilitation was nothing new compared to training at SM. What was the worst was being able to move around, but not being allowed to. Also I had a hard time adjusting to my reflection. As an Idol I had always maintained the ‘perfect’ figure, slim, minimum curves. But after five months of hospital bed, and no exercise my body had undergone major changes. I was no longer skin and bones, I had gained curves I was unaccustomed to, and also unsure of my opinion of them. My first reaction was simply disgust, but after a few days, I noticed the real differences. My face was fuller, and actually looked healthier, there was a slight blush stuck to my face, and I had to admit I looked more lively than ever.

The rehabilitation continued, and I slowly regained my skills in daily actions. I was able to walk again, though slowly and not for too long. Also I was able to shower on my own again, which was heavenly. Weeks past, and I requested manager Kim to bring me my laptop and my keyboard so I would have something to do during the hours I had to recover from rehabilitation and prepare for the next session. Finally I felt some of my freedom return. During the hours I wasn’t practicing in the rehabilitation program I was sitting on my bed and I was either checking up on the schedules and progress from my friends or I was composing. Composing was a way of letting off steam, putting my mind off things and living a different story for a while. I didn’t write for SM or for a boy, I just wrote for myself, and if manager Kim hadn’t brought and unexpected guest, these songs wouldn’t have been released.

It was somewhere mid-august when this happened. HANA had just started promoting again, and I somehow couldn’t stop replaying every appearance on TV. It hurt to see their broken spirits, though they put on smiles for the camera. It hurt to realize I was the reason for their hardship. At the same time I noticed the public opinion of HANA had risen, and that they were selling quite well. This brought hope to me, hope that HANA would be able to push through and be able to make it, not only in Korea, but all over the world. This hope was the seed which was growing up to be my latest song. I hadn’t figured out the name yet, and I was working on some difficulties that I didn’t like in the song when a knock was heard. “Come in!” I replied, I knew it was probably manager Kim, since she visited every Monday. The door opened, and instead of her usual enthusiastic greeting she sounded formal, “Hello Romy.” I was still working on the music, and when I looked up it continued to play in the background.

“Good afternoon miss Ginger.” I froze as my eyes met those of Lee So Man. I was suddenly awfully aware of the fact I wasn’t wearing make-up and I hadn’t spent much time brushing my hair. Quickly straitening up, and brushing a hand through my hair, I tried to get up from the bed, to properly greet mr Lee. “Hello mr Lee, what is bringing you here?” I asked, trying not to put too much emphasize on the thought behind this question, why he hadn’t visited before. “Oh, please, do not get up for me.” He said, not answering my question, he sat down at the chair besides my bed. Manager Kim didn’t look all to happy either, but she took the remaining chair, and a silence filled the room, as my song finished its last notes. “Would you play that again?” Hesitantly I obeyed, and hit the replay button.

The next three minutes we sat in silence, listening to my song, at least they were. My thoughts were running around the several scenarios of explanations why Lee So Man was here, in my small hospital room. None of my theories were convincing. When the song finished Lee So Man nodded slowly, but when he opened his mouth, it wasn’t to talk about the song. “Good, so you are probably wondering why I am here?” I nodded, there was no point in denying it. “Well, of course I heard you woke up, and you started your rehabilitation. I have been pondering some details about your recovery. We made an agreement that we would tell the world you died, even when you fell in coma. But now we have a different problem, you have woken up. You are alive, while we lied to the public about you dying. Of course you understand the sensitive situation, a lot of bad publicity would arise if it became public that SM entertainment lied to the fans and to the reporters, especially about something so heavy.” I nodded, reluctantly, I had to admit this thought had crossed my mind before too. “The first question we need to ask, is whether you want to return to the music scene, and if, how you want to return. Do you want to become an idol again?” I frowned, and I realized Lee So Man wasn’t asking me, he was just ready to hear my side, before he told me the plan he had sorted out.

“I actually have no desire to return to being an idol again. I would love to continue working in the music industry, but if that’s impossible, I would like to go back to school and finish my education.” Lee So Man seemed honestly surprised, “Did you expect me to ask you to let me return to HANA? I’m no fool, I can see they are doing well without me, and they might even get further than they would ever have gotten with me.” Lee So Man didn’t bother continuing about my last remark, but he did look back at my laptop and keyboard which were still lying in front of me.

“I can recognize talent when I see it, and when I first met you I was sure you were a very talented dancer. I doubted your ability to be able to catch up in the singing department, but that too you mastered. And when you asked me to let you compose I was hesitant, but since you displayed such energy and willingness to work I let you.” He paused, curiously studying my face, “Again you surprised me and everyone with your improvement. And just now I realized I might have misjudged your talents. Your true talent may be in composing.” He was silent for a moment, as if he was weighing his words. “I have an offer for you. At the moment you are 20, and you only finished high school, but continuing your study’s at an later age is no problem. Since you and I have no desire of Lian returning to HANA, I want to offer you a different job. You will work under SM entertainment as an music writer and producer, we will offer you a new contract. I have to add that this contract couldn’t be more different from the trainee and idol contracts. You have no schedules you need to attend you, you will receive your own key to your private composing room in the building and you will be free to compose. The only requirements are that you finish at least one song a month. Also you won’t be getting anything like a dorm, and the salary might differ from the success from your songs.”

I frowned, trying to take in all the information. Was Lee So Man really offering me a job? This was totally different than all those auditions people did to get into the company. “But how will I be able to write when people think I’m dead? And how will I find a place to live? This adding to the fact that I’m still rehabilitating, I can’t come to office…” Lee So Man smiled, “I’m glad you don’t immediately decline, which I feared since there are a lot of reasons idols could and are unhappy with our company. For all those problems will be solutions. If you really want to, a path will reveal its self.” Lee So Man rose from his chair, and while he pulled on his coat again he said, “Just think about it for now, I don’t need your answer right away. If you have any questions ask manager Kim or contact me or my secretary. Have a nice day,” he walked to the door, and with his hand on the knob he turned around, “The song was really good.” With that he left, and I was left with only me and manager Kim in the room.

Hesitant I looked at her face, silently asking her opinion, and she beamed at me, “Isn’t that great? Mr. Lee So Man must really like your work if he offers you a job in person. I was already curious why he insisted on coming here himself.” I beamed back at her, glowing under this praise. “He likes my work?”

~~~***~~~

Hey everyone!

How did you like this chapter? We made a few time leaps, it would be too boring to tell her everyday life of rehabilitating…

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