Unable to move, unable to communicate, unable to let my beloved mother know I am still her, and I can hear everything she said. Weeping she sits in the chair besides my bed, holding my hand, my knuckles, comforting me and her at the same time. My hear breaks at these days. The brightest days are the worst, those days I register everything what is going on around me, without being able to respond to it. I don’t know how often I have those days, I can’t keep track of time passing by, but by the behavior of my mom I know it is taking longer than expected for me to wake up from my coma. On these ‘brighter’ days I usually lay in bed, and listen to the birds outside, and the nurses humming around in the background. Once in a while I wonder how my friends are doing, how much time had passed, and how much chance her is left for me to recover. I moved on from the sadness and disappear. Quite soon I understood it wasn’t helping me, and was only making me feel worse.

When my mom had left again my thoughts wandered to the days at TS. The bright and happy days training with B.A.P, training with Yongguk. I heard a click of the door, and I concentrated on the only thing I could register anything with, my ears. Light steps walked through my room, and the person sat down in the chair my mom had just vacated a few hours ago. “It’s already been more than two months.” It was a woman, I recognized her voice, though it was the first time I heard her visit me after the surgery. In the back of my mind I noticed she must have visited before but that I wasn’t ‘awake’ during those. I also realized my bright moments were occurring more and more often. “Aish Lian, what do I do?” She sighed heavily, and all her tiredness was expressed through that one sigh. Some people say your senses sharpen when you take out the other senses, well they were right, I was able to tell so much now, just by the sound. “HANA is still very low in the spirits, and Lee So Man has given them off, from all their schedules for the past month, but nothing has changed.” She paused, “He wants them to start attending their schedules again, but I don’t think they are ready yet.” She remained silent for a while after that, it was frustrating to be able to listen, but not be able to respond, so frustrating. Then she whispered, “Maybe they aren’t the ones who are not ready yet, but is it me.” Another silence followed, and manager Kim seemed to be thinking deep, and when she talked again I noticed the strength had somehow returned to her. She too grabbed my hand, slightly tightening her grip. “Maybe a schedule will help them to move on.” Her fingers left my hand, and I was surprised when she my cheek, “Lian, no Romy, I hope you can hear me. Get better well soon, we all miss you.”

~~~

Coldly I looked at my reflection, I SO didn’t want to be here. After only two months of time to get ‘over’ Lian I was supposed to put up smiles again, and perform. Of course I loved to perform, at least I used to love it. Somehow with Lians death I had lost a piece of myself, I felt empty and lifeless. “Come on Baekhyun, get ready for our performance!” Suho scolded me. Apparently he was tired of my stubbornness and stopped acting all gentle to me. Well I preferred this, it gave me a reason to vent my temper on someone. “Of course mister all high and mighty!” I sneered while I turned away from the mirror and walked over to the clothes rack to pick up my outfit for tonight. The others in the room were eying the leader, to see if he’d agree to my behavior. One part of me felt sorry for my hyung, and the other hot tempered part wanted him to lecture me, just so I could lash out on him again.

Instead of telling me to shut up and listen to him, like I hoped he would do, he walked over to me and bowed down to meet my eyes on the same level. Something was burning in his eyes, and fear shivered through me. He whispered, “And now you are going to start acting like your own age and temper or I’ll kick you so hard that you won’t be able to sit for the next week. Understood?” His tone wasn’t harsh or loud, but it was dipped in ice. Feeling uncomfortable, I snorted, “Whatever.”

~~~

Aish that punk. I eyed him, and my cool anger calmed down a bit, as he walked back to his seat. I knew he was having a hard time, I just wished he wouldn’t make it so hard on himself, and s. It was sad enough that Lian passed away, without him blaming himself and pushing anyone who tried to comfort him. I let out a quiet sigh, and for the millionth time, I wished Lian hadn’t died. Or that someone would cross Baekhyuns path, and take some of those dark knifes out of his heart.

~~~

The way he walked through the hallway, he owned it. His presence was demanding all attention, his beautiful flowerboy face, and the hidden powerful voice behind it. But that’s not what kept me hooked on his face. It was his eyes, they were looking in the distance, far away from here, somewhere so far I couldn’t understand. I felt sad looking at his distant eyes. How could a boy so beautiful look so sad and lost? I was ripped back to my body when Suzy tugged the sleeve of my jacket. “Yes, sorry.” I followed after her, to our waiting room, still with my thoughts at the young and lost boy that passed by me.

~~~***~~~

Hy guys!

I really hope you like the first chapter! Yay Lian isn’t finished yet.

I had to do some research about the actual sympthomes of the fact of being in coma… I really hope I don’t offend anyone with family in coma, I understand it’s not fun or romantic at all, and I just hope your family will be okay.

Enjoy the chapter, and subscribe and comment to let me know what you thought of the first chapter~

<3

Ps. I don’t write any kind of pov at the beginning of switching pov’s because I think it is more exiting if you have some mystery’s left XD Hope it doesn’t get to confusing.