A/N: So this is an...experiment of sorts. I was inspired by this Yanxi Palace fic but this is a popular fic format in Chinese, where there are 50 questions an imaginary interviewer poses a couple and they answer them separately. Sometimes the interviewer's responses are written in, almost like the writer's commentary, but I find that breaks the immersion so I opted not to. I translated the original questions, except that I changed 16 which I found too similar to another question, and added 34 and 37, which were missing from the original.

1. What’s your name?

Jessica: Jessica.

Tiffany: Tiffany Young!

2. What’s your age?

Jessica: …why is this relevant.

Tiffany: The same age as Jessi!

3. What’s your gender?

Jessica: Do you not have eyes?

Tiffany: Female!

4. What’s your personality like?

Jessica: I’m honest, probably a bit too honest at times. I don’t really have patience for the fake niceties or awkward small talk. I’ve been told my sarcasm can cut.

Tiffany: People have said I’m kind of like a pitbull. Very loyal, very affectionate, but you don’t want to get on my bad side.

5. What’s the other person’s personality like?

Jessica: Loud. Is that a personality trait? Oh, I guess not. Fine. She’s…very earnest. Incredibly hard-working and dedicated and loyal. But also really annoying and stubborn and did I mention loud? I don’t care if it doesn’t count. She makes that a personality trait.

Tiffany: She can seem cold and almost scary at first, but she’s a huge softie once you get to know her. She’s more sensitive than she’d like to admit and she has a very dry sense of humour. She’s very protective when it comes to the people she cares about, and she really will be cold and scary if you get on her bad side.

6. When did you first meet? Where?

Jessica: In 2004, as trainees in S.M.

Tiffany: When we were fifteen in S.M. together!

7. What was your first impression of the other person?

Jessica: A loud, pink-obsessed princess.

Tiffany: Oh my god, another American!

8. What do you like about the other person?

Jessica: When she’s sleeping, she’s quiet. Okay, okay. Her smile. I know everyone says that but. Not just her smile that the fans like but [in a smaller voice] how she smiles just at me. Okay, I’m not saying any more. [blushes]

Tiffany: I like lots of things about Jessi! If I had to pick, it’d be about how she makes these cocky statements but gets shy when someone, especially me, actually compliments her. Also, how she does a lot to take care of you in a behind the scenes way.

9. What do you dislike about the other person?

Jessica: HOW LOUD SHE IS. Wow, just mimicking her volume has made my throat tired.

Tiffany: She never wants to do anything in the morning.

10. Do you think you’re compatible with the other person?

Jessica: On paper you’d think we’d be the least compatible couple ever but somehow… Yeah, I think we are.

Tiffany: Of course!

11. What do you call the other person?

Jessica: Steph.

Tiffany: Jessi!

12. What do you hope the other person calls you?

Jessica: [coughs] Jessi.

Tiffany: Steph! I like how she calls me that while everyone else calls me Fany. And I know she likes it when I call her Jessi even if she won’t admit it.

13. What animal do you think the other person is like?

Jessica: A dog. The proper poodle kind with the weird haircut and bow in its hair. Actually, maybe a Chihuahua – they’re really yappy.

Tiffany: A cat. They sleep all day and look at you like they’re judging your life choices. But a cute cat. Maybe a Scottish fold? Or a Persian.

14. If you bought a gift for the other person, what would you get?

Jessica: A Tiffany charm bracelet charm. I know it sounds super lame but it’s kind of our inside joke. Also, something for all her late nights like a neck massager or tea tumbler.

Tiffany: Nothing huge, we’re not the lavish gift giving kind of couple. Maybe a bottle of her favourite wine.

15. What kind of present would you want?

Jessica: It’s not really about the present. If Steph gets me something, it’s not even because it’s my birthday or Christmas but because she thought of me and that’s good enough.

Tiffany: I like whatever Jessi gets me. Sometimes she writes me a note and I like those the best.

16. What’s one thing you would change about the other person, if you could?

Jessica: Turn down her volume dial. And convince her there are other colours in this world. Those are two things. Oh well.

Tiffany: Make her resting face a little friendlier. More so she doesn’t scare other people.

17. What’s your biggest flaw?

Jessica: I’m lazy.

Tiffany: I think I can be too stubborn, sometimes.

18. What’s the other person’s biggest flaw?

Jessica: Can I say her obsession with pink? Well, actually, I think it’s how she overworks herself and tries to take on everything by herself because she doesn’t want to burden other people.

Tiffany: I think Jessi expects too much from other people sometimes and ends up disappointed when they don’t live up to her idealized expectations.

19. What does the other person do that makes you unhappy?

Jessica: The overworking and not sharing with me when she’s upset.

Tiffany: When she bottles something in for a long time and then brings it up at the worst moment.

20. What do you do that makes the other person unhappy?

Jessica: I think when I don’t talk to her about something that bothers me but then it always ends up coming up in an argument or something.

Tiffany: Probably when I keep my struggles to myself instead of sharing them with her.

21. Where has your relationship progressed to?

Jessica: …what kind of question is that?

Tiffany: [confused] Do you mean physically? Or do you mean legally? I mean obviously we’re not married or engaged or anything. But she can’t be without me and I can’t be without her.

22. Where was your first date?

Jessica: I don’t think Tiffany thought of it as a date but for me, it was when we went out for spaghetti, just the two of us, and she insisted on getting the bill.

Tiffany: Jessi probably doesn’t remember but we went for spaghetti together and I made sure to pay because I thought of it as a date even if she didn’t.

23. What was the atmosphere like then?

Jessica: It was pretty normal, like we bickered but then we talked and she was kind of sad and homesick but tried to hide it but I could still tell. And then I distracted and made her laugh and… It was kind of how we always were? But nice.

Tiffany: It was pretty warm and cozy, it was one of those mom and pop kind of places, but I was feeling kind of sad that day. I just had a heavy call with my dad. Obviously, Jessi didn’t know that but she made me feel better. She thinks she’s not a mood maker type of person but she knows how to make me feel better. How to make me smile.

24. How did things progress that time?

Jessica: We ate. We talked. I wanted to split the bill but she paid. Nobody recognized us, which was good. Obviously we didn’t confess or kiss or anything, but. I felt something, and I think she did too.

Tiffany: If I break it down, there was nothing special about it, really, but it was very special. I don’t know. It’s just a special memory. It’s not something you can describe, you just feel it.

25. Where do you usually go for dates?

Jessica: Just each other’s place, usually. If we go out, it has to be discreet and it obviously can’t be too date-like.

Tiffany: We usually just go to each other’s apartment. Sometimes we’ll go to a restaurant or movie but we have to be careful when we do.

26. What would you do for the other person’s birthday?

Jessica: Throw her a surprise party. She likes that sort of thing.

Tiffany: Wrap myself up as a present. I’d say bake her a cake but my last attempt was disastrous and we agreed for the sake of the kitchen and also public health that I don’t try again.

27. Who confessed first?

Jessica: I did.

Tiffany: Jessi did! But it was pretty mutual.

28. How much do you like the other person?

Jessica: Steph knows.

Tiffany: A lot!

29. Then, do you love them?

Jessica: Yes but there’s no need to say.

Tiffany: Of course. Jessi knows that.

30. What does the other person say that makes you feel like you’re done for?

Jessica: [blushes] Jessi.

Tiffany: It’s not so much what she says but how she looks at me.

31. If you think the other person fell for somebody else, what would you do?

Jessica: I swear to god, if you’re talking about Taeyeon…

Tiffany: Jessi wouldn’t.

32. Can you forgive the other person for falling for someone else?

Jessica: Kim Taeyeon, are you behind this interview?!

Tiffany: No, that’s unforgiveable to me. But Jessi wouldn’t.

33. If the other person is late for more than an hour, what would you do?

Jessica: [coughs] That would be me, if anything. Steph is never late.

Tiffany: That’s happened before, and I learned not to schedule things in the morning.

34. What does the other person do to get you to do something for them?

Jessica: She has this pout that I swear she learned from Sunkyu but it’s way more effective on her. And a way of saying my name. I really only give in to stop her whining.

Tiffany: Jessi would deny it to the ends of the earth but she has a lot of aegyo. It’s not like Sunkyu’s, it’s not so…blatant? But it’s really cute, she’s really cute.

35. Does the other person have a y expression?

Jessica: [coughs] …yes.

Tiffany: Jessi has lots of y expressions. I mean, we all do, right, we’re idols, it has to be in our repertoire. But she’s the iest when she isn’t trying to be.

36. When the two of you are together, what makes your heart beat the fastest?

Jessica: [blushes] When she calls me Jessi and looks at me in a certain way. And when she smiles.

Tiffany: When she reaches for my hand.

37. What would be your idea of an ideal date?

Jessica: Just staying in and eating a nice meal and maybe watching a movie. It’s not really about the venue; it’s about being with her.

Tiffany: If we could show our affection in public, like holding hands on the street or resting our heads against each other’s in the movie theatre, but then spend time together privately.

38. Doing what with the other person makes you feel the happiest?

Jessica: [blushes] Just being with her.

Tiffany: Just being with her!

39. Have you ever fought?

Jessica: [snorts] Of course. We fight all the time.

Tiffany: I mean, yeah, we fight. What couple doesn’t?

40. What kind of fights have you had?

Jessica: Well, usually it’s just some petty arguments but we’ve had bigger fights too. I’m not saying I’m blameless but you really don’t want to test Steph’s temper.

Tiffany: We have squabbles over small things but there have been full out, explosive yelling and cold war fights too. I don’t like to linger on those.

41. How will you make up afterwards?

Jessica: [blushes] None of your business.

Tiffany: Sometimes Jessi buys me flowers. That’s very sweet of her. As for her, well… I’m usually a bit more hands-on with my apologizing.

42. Do you still want to be lovers in the next life?

Jessica: For however many lifetimes, I want to spend them with Steph.

Tiffany: Of course! But let’s live out this life happily first, okay?

43. When do you feel loved?

Jessica: When she gives me that particular smile.

Tiffany: When she looks at me.

44. What’s your method of expressing love?

Jessica: I’m not the most verbally affectionate person but I try to do things for Tiffany. I know she knows how I feel anyway.

Tiffany: I tell her that I love her. Or I kiss her.

45. When do you feel like “she doesn’t love me anymore”?

Jessica: I guess after a bad fight when she gives me the silent treatment. When I don’t hear her voice anymore, I realize how much I miss her yelling at me.

Tiffany: I rarely feel that way. Jessi may think that she doesn’t say romantic things enough but she always makes me feel loved in her own way. Sometimes after we fight, she has this way of…looking through me that really hurts. So I guess it’s that.

46. What do you think is a flower that suits the other person?

Jessica: Something obnoxiously pink. Not a pink rose, that’s too cliché, and they’re not bright enough, but a…hibiscus maybe?

Tiffany: Something elegant. Like an orchid.

47. Do you have any secrets from the other person?

Jessica: I think every person has secrets, no? But I keep the least secrets from Steph that I do from anyone else.

Tiffany: Yes. It’s not that I don’t trust Jessi but who doesn’t have some secrets?

48. Where does your insecurity come from?

Jessica: …sometimes I think she’ll find somebody better and leave me. Or she wouldn’t leave me but she could be happier without me.

Tiffany: Jessi wouldn’t admit it but she’s a huge secret romantic and I know that I can’t do all the things for her that she fantasizes about or even that I do. That’s what it’s like to date as idols. But I don’t think she would be better off without me and I know I wouldn’t be better off without her.

49. Is your relationship public or secret?

Jessica: Secret, of course, we’re idols. Have you heard of Dispatch?

Tiffany: Secret, unfortunately. There’s just too much at risk to go public.

50. Do you think you can maintain your love forever?

Jessica: I’m not the type of person to believe in forever but Steph makes me want to.

Tiffany: Yes! No matter what happens, I’ll always love Jessi.

A/N: Writing this was pretty challenging, in a good way. It really forced me to get into JeTi's heads, and think about how they perceive the other person. It's like a characterization exercise in that way. For a couple that are such dynamic opposites like JeTi, it was especially fun. I live for sassy Jessica and exclamation mark Tiffany.

If you want to use these questions for your ship, be my guest!