A/N: Inspired by how JeTi are both in Paris and on Snapchat. I was originally going to write a canon verse fic but then it was going to be too ~realistic (a.k.a. depressing) and I went screw that lol.

When Jessica sees Tiffany, she’s expecting a hug or maybe a kiss, but what she gets is a punch in the shoulder.

“Ow,” Jessica hisses. “What the hell?”

“What was that Snapchat you sent me? You almost gave me a heart attack!”

“They invented those special effects for a reason.”

“To give your girlfriend nightmares?” Tiffany says wryly.

“My snap gave you nightmares?” Jessica is rather impressed at herself.

“Do you have to look so proud?”

Tiffany looks like she might be going for another punch, so Jessica raises her hands in front of her defensively.

“Do you have to look so violent?”

Tiffany reaches toward her and rubs her shoulder with a contrite expression. “Did I hit you really hard? Sorry.”

She’s so serious about the massaging that Jessica doesn’t have the heart to tell her she’s rubbing the wrong shoulder.

“I sent you some cute ones too. You didn’t like those?” Jessica asks in a hurt voice.

“No, I did,” Tiffany says hurriedly. “They were just…overshadowed by the scary one.”

“I didn’t even pick the scariest effect,” Jessica says. “There was this green skin, glowing eyes one—”

Tiffany abandons Jessica’s shoulder to cover her ears. “I don’t want to hear it!”

“Okay, I won’t tell you anymore about it.” Tiffany takes her hands off her ears. “I’ll just send you a snap with that effect next time.” Tiffany glowers at her, and Jessica takes a step back from her, self-preservation instincts kicking in. “Hey, you’re the one who told me to get Snapchat.”

“I didn’t know you would use it to scare me,” Tiffany huffs. “Just like I didn’t show you that cute Pad Thai cushion for you to buy me a fish head one.”

Jessica laughs at the memory, only to promptly fall silent at the look on Tiffany’s face. “Okay, but I got you a Pad Thai cushion afterwards to make up for it.”

“You did,” Tiffany concedes.

Jessica pouts. “And then you spent more time in bed with that than me.”

Tiffany takes a swing at her, and Jessica nimbly dodges.

“Okay, are you turning into a boxer now? You’re going to make me look like that Snapchat effect with the black eyes and bruises.”

Tiffany cringes. “Don’t you dare send me one like that.”

“I’m not going to have to use that effect at this rate. I’ll just take a regular selfie and it’ll look like that.”

“I’m not going to beat you up. Stop making me sound like some kind of wife beater.”

“Isn’t that a tank top?” is Jessica’s immediate reaction, and Tiffany laughs, her eyes disappearing in the way Jessica loves. Jessica had tried to give an eye smile before, but she had miserably failed. Maybe they should invent a Snapchat effect for that.

“I don’t know where people get these names for clothing,” Tiffany says. “I mean, look at spaghetti straps – they don’t look like spaghetti. Spaghetti is way rounder and the straps are really flat. They should be called fettucine straps.”

Jessica just kind of stares at her. “I’ve never thought about that.”

“You should,” Tiffany says gravely. “These things are important.”

“Sure.”

“Speaking of spaghetti, I’m craving it now. Let’s get some tonight!”

“Sure.”

“You’re starting to sound like a recording.”

“Sure.”

Tiffany rolls her eyes, and Jessica takes a pre-emptive step back from her.

“Are you scared of me?” Tiffany asks, sounding amused.

“No,” Jessica replies. “I’m scared of your punches.”

Tiffany takes a step toward her, and Jessica takes another step back.

Tiffany sighs. “I’m not going to punch you, Jessi.”

“You’re just saying that to lull me into a false sense of security.”

“Okay, you’re really making me sound like an abuser now.”

Jessica suddenly realizes something. “You said you’re not a wife beater.”

“Or a spaghetti strap top.”

“Fettucine strap top,” Jessica corrects, and Tiffany smiles. Jessica tells herself not to get distracted. “You said you’re not a wife beater,” she repeats. “Does that mean I’m your wife?”

Tiffany looks amused. “Do you want to be my husband instead?”

“Ew, no.” Tiffany laughs again, and Jessica gives up on not getting distracted and just lets herself stare.

“So…” Tiffany prompts. “Do you have a problem with being my wife?”

“If we’re married, does that mean you get to make me sleep on the couch?”

Tiffany grins. “I thought I could do that already.”

“Excuse me,” Jessica starts with great indignation, but Tiffany raises an eyebrow at her and she deflates. “Well, I can make you sleep on the couch too.”

“At least I have my Pad Thai cushion to accompany me,” Tiffany says cheerfully.

“No, I’m taking that cushion. You can have the fish head one.”

Tiffany starts to raise an arm, but then she sighs and shakes her head. “Next thing I know, you’re going to send me a Snapchat with your face replaced by a fish head.”

“I don’t think they have an effect like that,” Jessica says regretfully. “That’s a great idea though. I’ll see what I can do with Photoshop.”

“You—” Tiffany breaks off. “If you do that, you’re sleeping on the couch.”

“You’re such a mean wife,” Jessica says dolefully, but it’s rather hard to maintain her morose expression in the face of Tiffany’s laughter.

For the sake of her comfort, she won’t carry ahead with the fish head plan. However, she can’t wait to test the other Snapchat effects on Tiffany. But maybe she should get some protective armour first…

A/N: The spaghetti vs. fettucine straps part comes from Ellen DeGeneres' Ellen Loves a Nap monologue.

What do you think is the scariest effect on Snapchat? Personally, I find the aging one pretty alarming...