[L e t t e r s | to | Y o o n a]

T H R E E

Dear Yoona,

Today is my birthday.

And I saw you today.

Actually, no, that's the wrong way to phrase it, because I've seen you every day for the last thirteen years, and today was no different.

Oh, but it was different. Today, you remembered that I exist. At the time, I didn't know whether to be happy or scared, and to be honest, I don't know how to feel right now, either.

I remember it clearly; I suppose I should, seeing as it was only this morning.

Some people like waking up early on their birthday, but I like sleeping in. And you know that. So maybe that's why you knew that I probably wouldn't be awake when you crept into my room at 6 in the morning. And maybe it was because it was you, and not someone else, that I woke up. Just a tiny bit.

I opened my eyes a little and I saw you put the note on my bedside table and I didn't know what to do, so I just lay there and waited for you to leave. That was the second time I did nothing while you were right in front of me. I really am pathetic, aren't I?

When I was sure that you were gone, I shot straight up and picked the note up off the table. My eyesight hasn't been the best lately, but I managed to read the words just fine. Maybe it's because it was in your handwriting; over these years, it's been my mental font. I swear I think my thoughts in your handwriting.

I know I don't need to repeat the words on the note to you, but I will, because I still can't really believe that I read them correctly. There were only four words:

I miss you, Luhan.

That was it.

And now those words are keeping me awake and I don't know if I should go to sleep or not. But maybe if I go to sleep, there'll be another note waiting for me when I wake up and eventually, I'll have enough notes to show that you haven't forgotten me entirely.

I don't understand why we're still not friends. I'm waiting for you to knock on my door, but this morning, I didn't hear you knock and you didn't say hi.

That makes me sound desperate, doesn't it? But I don't know, I don't really care. Because I miss you, Yoona. And I used to think it didn't matter, but apparently it does now, because you said that you miss me, too.

Do you really miss me, Yoona?

Eternally yours,

Luhan.