“Wah. This outfit’s really cool,” Krystal exclaimed as they sifted through the clothes for the next performance.

“The pattern’s really cool, huh?” Sulli said beside her. “We’ll look like rock stars,” she giggled.

Amber smiled as she looked at the clothes. She was pretty sure that she’d be wearing shorts this time again. She looked at the dress that Krystal was holding and imagined herself in it. Ugh. Yeah. She isn’t really a dress-girly kind of person.

She managed to try on her clothes in peace while the two experimented on hair and accessories. She doesn’t have much trouble in her hair. It was kept short since their debut years ago.

“It’s what gives f(x) an edge,” she once heard a staff say after their debut. “When you look at Amber, you kind of have to look back if she’s a girl or a boy. I really like that about f(x). Makes them unique,”

It was alright at first. She never really minded. She was boyish since she was young. She really didn’t like wearing heels or putting on make-up. But she was young back then. She was adamant at first; firm on her decision not to wear girly clothes or short shorts. Growing up in the USA made her aggressive and able to say what she thinks. The designers began to prepare male counterparts of the others’ clothes. She saw them enjoying and she felt good. She wanted them to enjoy as much as she was enjoying herself. She didn’t want to be a bother.

But then like she says, she was young. Things were bound to change. She began to feel a pang of envy every time she saw them having different hairstyles. She wanted to let her hair grow long as well. But the fans love her for how she is now. Boys and girls alike scream for her. It’s what gives f(x) it’s unique edge. She couldn’t betray f(x) like that. F(x) is and would forever be an important of her. She began to compensate her desires by working on her dancing. She always felt good whenever somebody referred to her dancing as y.

“Amber, aren’t you coming?” Victoria called for her. She hadn’t realize she was already spacing out.“You have practice today?” she asked when she finally caught up with them.

She fought the goosebumps that were creeping up her skin. “Uh, yeah.”

She jogged to the practice room, a little too early for their practice. She wouldn’t admit to herself but she began to look forward to the few hours of practice they had.

She went inside the practice room quietly. He was already there, singing to his guitar. She stopped to admire the beautiful man. He always closes his eyes whenever he sings a soft song. His delicate features were softer against the light. He always looks so relaxed but if you look closer, his thin lips would quiver and his eyes would grow big once he is faced with an unexpected situation. She always admired how he spoke so politely and kindly. It was as if he bears no ill feelings for anybody.

She had always admired the way he had strived to be where he was now. He had debuted years ago, even before she did. But there weren’t many projects for him. But now, he’s in the spotlight. And yet, he still was the humble person she had always admired.

She closed the door softly, not wanting to disturb him. She crept up to him, planning to scare him.

“I know you’re there Amber,” he chuckled.

“Aw. Damn. I was really trying to be quiet,” she chuckled.

“Ready for the performance?” he smiled.

“Oppa, duh, I only appear for a few seconds,” she chuckled. “Plus, I already got the choreography memorized. How was the filming?”

“It was fine. They managed to modify the parts they needed. They said they’d be releasing the video tonight.”

“How was the girl?”

He chuckled. “She was really pretty. We didn’t have a lot of frames together, though.”

“Aw. How sad,” she teased. However, she could not shake off the tightening feeling in her chest.

He laughed, “Not really. The filming with you was much more fun. Too bad you can’t be the leading lady. That would’ve been more fun.”

“That would be gross,” she laughed.

“Why? Don’t you want to be in a relationship with me? I thought you liked our couple hairs,”

She laughed at his jokes, silently wishing for them to be true. “We look like twins.”

“I didn’t know you fancy relationships,” he smirked, showing a slight dimple on his cheek. “And anyways, I’d love to see you in a dress and heels.”

She tried to hide the blush in her cheeks. “Yah. You’re teasing me again,”

He chuckled, “Pretty girls deserved to be teased.”

“Yah!” she exclaimed, not being able to control the reddening of her face. He was always like this. Making her want to be the girl she wasn’t.

“Henry, Amber,” one of the managers called by the door. “The practice room’s ready.”

He hoisted himself up, grabbing her hand and bringing her with him.

They practiced the song over and over again. She sat there, admiring his beautiful face until her part came. He was a good dancer, always seemed to be very light on his feet. She tried her hardest not to be distracted by his smiles and by the hand on her shoulder. She tried her hardest not to blush at every glance he gives at the mirror. But what she couldn’t control is the way her eyes automatically locks on his face whenever she sings the last part of her lines.

Saying I love you. Are you gonna love me?

Is it wrong? Is it wrong for me to wish she was girly inside all that boy clothes? T_T

And now, let me spam you with lots of henber because I really need somebody to scream with me right now.