liv. Circles III

The next morning wasn’t nearly as peaceful as the first. Not that anything significant happened. Nothing happened at all really. There was breakfast with Hakyeon and Ravi. An after breakfast snack with Hongbin. Hakyeon’s parents had failed to make an appearance even now. So, you went shopping in the city with Leo and Ravi while Hakyeon prepared for tonight.

Once more, there was nothing particularly noteworthy that occurred. 

You were treated normally and comfortably. Like a part of the family. A long lost sister or a in-law to be. But, this was part of the problem. The unchanging peacefulness of this second morning in Thailand was part of the problem. 

And the other part were the words of Hakyeon’s uncle. 

“I’m not related to you, am I?”

You asked Leo as he set down the dress Hakyeon had picked out for tonight’s affairs — black in color. An answer was the last thing you expected. His expression was the only thing you paid attention to. Unfortunately, it didn’t change. 

There was neither a hitch nor a slip as he said, tone descending foreignly, “ ไม่.”

People littered the house at every corner, faces you didn’t recognize overshadowing those you did. Unlike the first night, the attendees of the second are both family members and family friends. It was notably more cheerful than yesterday. More laughter and even more smiles. 

Hakyeon’s aunt was surrounded by same-age mothers, gossiping like teenagers in the prime of their lives. Her children played with their children, onlookers to an ongoing video game tournament crowding the living room. Her husband had engaged in the fun, getting his attention proving impossible. Even her in-laws couldn’t complain in the face of the palpable happiness.

Even Hakyeon’s widowed uncle seemed to be enjoying himself, his twins and their troublemaking friends gathering round to hear him tell blown-up war stories. Other older men flocked to him, their respect for him apparent in their mindful postures and amazed glances. In his element, in the limelight of others, he shone so brightly you didn’t recognize him at first glance. 

Then, there was Hakyeon’s cousin, the big-hearted beauty. Unlike her uncle, she faded into the background even more than the first night of the reunion. The children were too busy, and much too young, to realize they’d left her on her own. Naturally drawn to loneliness, you approached her from across the room. It wouldn’t be the first time your own big heart, your aptitude for caring too much, got you into trouble. 

Hakyeon having left you to mingle on your own today, disappearing into niches and corners you’d stopped keeping track of two hours ago, you didn’t have anyone to help you out of the situation you walked right into. Because Hakyeon’s cousin wasn’t alone at all. She’d found companionship in two women, both of whom you caught sight of only when it was too late to walk the other way.

“Song Hyunjoo?” The taller, thin woman you knew as Sooyoung gasped, “Never expected to see ya here.” 

The other square-shouldered one, whom you only remembered ever seeing by Sunggyu’s side, nodded in your direction, “What a pleasant surprise.” But it was no surprise what she said next, “What brings you to the Cha’s family reunion? Sunggyu didn’t tell me he’d be attending.”

“Springfield’s got bigger worries than what to wear for a fancy party, Seohyun.” Sooyoung nudged her friend’s side. The stern gaze she received in return, that clearly told her to mind her manners, had her gesturing exaggeratedly as she complained, “Woe is me for almost havin’ missed the event of the year!”

“You two know my cousin’s girlfriend?” Hakyeon’s cousin asked, her definition for that term looser than your own. 

“Kim Myungsoo is here?” Sooyoung gasped again, eyes darting across the room as she searched for him. Before she could finish scanning, Hakyeon’s cousin stopped her with a slap to her arm. Realizing her mistake, she corrected herself, “Right! What am I thinkin’? The boy’s bad blood reeks too much to gain entry to such a prestigious affair as this, ain’t I right?” 

Seohyun turned her judging stare towards Sooyoung once more.

“Woe to all that threatens the strong an’ mighty integrity of the Cha house!” The playful female exclaimed, not caring for the looks she received for her loud mouth and louder words. Despite her empty-headed play, however, she was anything but. Pointedly giving you a look of her own, she whispered, “Cha Hakyeon it is, then?”

She didn’t give you time to answer.

“Of course it is. The Chas always get what they want. And if askin’ all nice-like don’t work, they just take it.”

Sooyoung was using you to make an example of the family she held a succinct disdain for. Who you were and what you meant to her own allies aside, she wouldn’t pass up such a rare opportunity to smear dirt on the name Cha. Though she would never be asked to leave, as according to Ravi the influence of the Enforcers was too great to disrespect, Seohyun escorted her out soon after her outburst. Her mindful mannered apology was too quiet in the face of the daunting attention you received as you stood alone, Hakyeon's cousin following after them, not a soul nearing you for a handful of minutes that felt like a lifetime. 

You had dealt with more shameful situations before. You had persevered through such awkwardness boldly in the past. But right then and there, in a country you didn’t know, surrounded by people talking in a language you couldn’t begin to understand, you appreciated the help you received. 

You were grateful for the young male who approached you then. Name: Ken. Title: Hakyeon’s ex-best friend.

“I didn’t do it for you.”

Stereotypical words in an un-stereotypical situation. An effort to stop any further conversation by promoting it in the first place. Attempting to act like he didn’t care when he had to have. Ken was a hypocrite by nature. 

“Did someone ask you then?”

He was also handsome. Stunningly so. Like the boy next door who’d never notice you. The subtle kind of attractiveness that you’d catch during that rare second glance, mowing the lawn or picking up the newspaper. That you’d never know well enough, no matter how many times you’d ask for sugar. 

“Leo did.”

“Thank you anyway.” Your fingers pulled at the base of your necklace, flipping your pendant back and forth as you swayed to the sound of the chatter around you. “You didn’t have to.”

“I did.” He denied your gratefulness outright.

“You didn’t.”

“I did.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did.”

“Then did you have to continue standing with me like this even after the fact? I may have only just recently become an adult in the eyes of the law, but I’m pretty sure I can tell when someone’s forced to do something and when they’re doing it because it’s morally right.” 

You ended up lecturing him despite not meaning to. You simply couldn’t help yourself in the face of his stubborn attitude. Attitude, not personality. The way he was acting at the moment, not the way he was every day. Because Hakyeon would surely never become “best friends” with someone as dismissive as Ken was now. No one would.

Apparently, not even children were that ignorant.

A child who spotted him a few feet away hid behind his mother’s legs immediately, lifting his hands to her as he spoke out in urgency, “ช่วยฉัน!” Ken’s face tightened under the mother’s glare as she ushered her child away from him. Though he wouldn’t explain it himself, Ravi would later on — Ravi always would. 

Ken’s past was no mystery to his relatives. The story of the fiancé who returned home, features in a state of disrepair, led to children speaking of him like a monster from a folktale. A monster who’d scarred the face of the only daughter of Hakyeon’s loving aunt: mother to his friend, Hyuk, who was in the business of avoiding the infamous “monster” himself. On any regular ol’ day, Ken wasn’t allowed into this home. But, today was special. Today was the Cha reunion and he was, no matter what he’d done, family in both name and blood. 

“If it’s a misunderstanding, you should clear it up.” You took note of his wronged expression in the face of both relatives and friends steering clear of him, business booming. “Before a lie becomes the truth, you need to clear it up.”

You couldn’t know the exact details of what happened. Changing the past was impossible. Time travel was incomprehensible. Thus, the ability to change the present had to be taken advantage of before it became history. Before Ken became a dismissive “monster” forever, whether it was his attitude or personality, a temporary lapse or a permanent lack of humanity, not mattering the least in the end. 

Dedicated despite the suffix of “ex” before his title, he spoke like he’d given up years ago, “Hakyeon needs someone like you. Someone to tell him he’s wrong. To argue with him. To straight up call him an ‘’ if he’s being one. A ‘bastard’ even if the definition doesn’t fit. 

“The other four won’t do it. Hongbin makes it seem like he does but it’s all just a part of some sick, sarcastic game he’s grown too used to playing. Ravi twists everything and anything as it suits his optimistic viewpoint. Hyuk wouldn’t dare say anything lest his family be punished for it. And Leo? Leo’s too blinded by his affections, too deaf to listen to anyone else, to do anything but play mute.”

He wasn’t fooling you with his detached manner earlier, and he certainly wasn’t now. 

“Then why don’t you do it?”

“I used to. I used to be the one more than ready and willing to deliver him his daily dosage of ‘reality checks.’ But, that ended the day my,” Ken cleared his throat, the story more than just a folktale easily swallowed for him, “my betrothed claimed she loved him instead before running off with her impure lover. The day he greeted me with the words, ‘What more did you expect?’

“And, speaking frankly, for a split second, for a single moment, I wanted to kill him. I wanted to rip his foul spewing tongue up, gorge his demeaning eyes out, tear, well, you get the drift.

“But, as you can see, I didn’t. I didn’t because in that next second, in all the moments that followed,” Ken shrugged, “what more can I expect from him?”

“So,” you started slowly, carefully peicing together his own version of year-old history, “after failing to comfort you in your time of need, you swore you’d never trust him again?” Feeling robbed of something, of the opportunity to get to know the boy next door no matter how unlikely it was, you mumbled so only he could hear, “So easily?”

Angry at something that had nothing — and yet everything — to do with you, he argued, “Nothing ever happens easily with Cha Hakyeon.”

“Nothing ever happens easily, period,” you corrected him.

“Leo.” 

You spoke up, biting down on your hesitant tongue.

He was the first and only one who straight-forwardly answered your most dire question — Ravi willing to answer anything but. Wanting to believe in him whether you could or should, you approached him as the two of you waited for the blue-haired giant to pull the car around. Hakyeon was still inside the large home behind you, determined to persist until the end of the festivities. The rest of the neighborhood was sleeping, not a single window glowing in the night’s heavy darkness.

No one was there but you and him.

Gathering courage not to ask your question, but to recieve the answer, you breathed in and out three times. Three times before reciting the line you’d heard that frightened child say earlier, repeated brokenly, “ช่วยฉัน.”

He had helped you once, and you were too opportunistic to not seek his help a second time. And whether he was touched by the lengths you’d gone or he was just as sick of all the unnecessary mystery as you were, Leo answered you. 

Holding out his hand, he put all fingers down but his index.

“Night one was white. Representing naivety and ignorance. Innocence, most of all. Arms linked together, he paraded around, showing off the dove he’d managed to catch.”

He raised his middle.

“Night two is black. Representing passion and loyalty. He let his tainted crow roam free, displaying his certainty, his arrogant confidence, that it’d come flying back at a single call.”

Lastly, his ring. 

“Night three will be red. A color of power and adulthood. I’m sure you can figure out the rest. You’re smarter than he gives you credit for.” Clenching all five down, he shoved his fist into his pants’ pocket, “And he gives you a lot.”

Thinking it all over, you asked again, “We’re related, aren’t we?”

 “ ไม่.” He rejected you, tone descending, as he had this morning, “Think harder, Hyunjoo.”

And at the utterance of your next guess, Leo’s affirmation sent your entire world spinning.