xxix. What Can And What Can't Be Touched

A phone screen appeared in front of your face, blinding you momentarily. Through squinted eyes, you glared at the person who had caused your current state as you pushed said person’s hand away. “Ricky, no.”

Ricky, however, as usual, remained unfazed by your attempts to rebuff him, “But, it’s limited edition, Hyunjoo.” He shoved his phone in your face again, causing you to scoff in response as he repeated himself. “Limited. Edition.”

“And your birthday was when again?” You raised an eyebrow, resting your hand in your open palm, propping your elbow up onto your desk. He had been saying those two words over and over to you this entire morning, drowning out the pleasant sound of the birds that chirped just outside the third floor window, playing amidst the branches of the trees. Suppressing the chattering voices of your fellow classmates with his booming complaints.

“February.” He answered immediately, instinctually, only to quickly cover his tracks, “But, that’s not the point here. Didn’t you hear me, Hyunjoo?”

“Limited Edition.” Niel finished his thoughts before his shorter friend could, a frown on his face as well. If you had heard it to the point of insanity only all of this morning, you couldn’t have imagined what Niel had gone through all of last night when the product Ricky was referring to was announced. “We heard you. Trust me, everyone heard you.”

“Then why don’t you two understand yet?” He questioned, as though it were really a question worth asking. As though the photo of the expensive item on his phone he now displayed like a kid begging for candy was worth all the trouble he’d have to go through to get it. “There’s only going to be five hundred in the entire world. If that doesn’t tell you how much I need this, I don’t know what will!”

He had even gone so far as to ask you to buy it for him as a birthday present, despite his birthday having long since passed. He had even asked you to buy it for Niel for his own birthday, just so that he could play with it – a question he didn’t ask again after receiving quite the hard hit to the back of his head by said best friend of his.  What shiny new toy was Ricky fawning over this time?

A limited edition, Animal Crossing, 3DS Extra Large.

As much as you enjoyed the game yourself, the price of said electronic had you enjoying it a lot less. Especially since Ricky was pretending the price of five hundred dollars was cheap. The price will go up after they’re all sold out, he says. I’ll never ask you for anything ever again, he says. If I don’t get it I’ll die, he says.

“Then die, shorty.” Niel rolled his eyes, breathing out deeply as he leaned beside you onto your desk. Ricky rounded your desk, grabbing Niel by his collar, attempting and failing to lift the taller boy from his seat.

“If I die, I’m taking you down with me. Lovers while living, lovers in the afterlife, my darling.” He puckered his lips, pushing his head towards Niel’s own. Once more attempting and failing to wiggle past the barrier that was Niel’s hands holding either side of his face as far away as he possibly could. You watched on, not lifting a finger. Something that didn’t go unnoticed by the currently frantic Niel.

“Hyunjoo, are you entertained by this or are you going to help?” He managed through clenched teeth, unable to push the determined Ricky away as much as he’d like to.

You nodded, smiling despite his situation, “It’s interesting.”

“Interesting, my !” Niel squirmed, leaning back in his chair to the point where it threatened to tip backwards.

“Isn’t it?” Ricky replied, his eyes glancing towards the area below Niel’s midriff, his lips curving into a lusting smile that made Niel want to punch him. That had Niel almost doing so had it not been for your interference then, as though you were waiting for the situation to escalate past “interesting” before you did something.

And, you honestly were.

“Ricky, down.” You tugged on his shirt, like you would on the leash of a puppy in heat, forcing him to back away from Niel. Ricky pouted your way, upset at the loss of the opportunity he had had to make his mother’s wishes come true – she always did insist there existed no one better for him than Niel.

The warning bell rang then, prompting Ricky’s complaints about how he still didn’t finish his history homework. Niel scolded him for not doing it instead of fawning over the new gadget on his wishlist. You told him he could do it secretly during homeroom, as Mr. Teacup rarely paid attention to what they were doing all the way in the back of the classroom – Niel had told you of the nickname he had given to the teacher who hated your guts and you couldn’t help but agree it suited him perfectly. Niel agreed to secretly help him as well, meaning he most likely didn’t feel like pummeling his shorter friend anymore. Meaning he most likely wasn’t in a bad mood anymore.

Which is why as the two walked back to their desks, Ricky nudged his shoulder and asked, “So, you’ll buy it for me, right?” He didn’t receive an immediate answer, which caused him to push Niel further, “Darling, why must you be so cruel?” And you heard the sound of Ricky yelping right after, meaning Niel had decided to hold back his fist no longer.

You laughed to yourself, reaching back behind your chair in order to get your backpack which held all of your class materials for the day. Mid-reach, however, you felt someone standing in front of you. From the corner of your eye, you saw someone there, in a white t-shirt and jeans.

For some reason, you knew who it was. For some reason, even before he said a word, even before you looked up at him seconds later, you knew it was Kim Myungsoo who stood in front of your desk now.

“I need to talk to you.” He said, hands in his pockets, a neutral expression on his face.

You looked up to the clock that hung at the front of the classroom, the second hand never seeming to go so fast during history or mathematics class as it did now. You hadn’t looked in order to check the time. You knew well what the time was. You hadn’t looked because you were forgetful or the like. You had looked because you needed a reason to reject Myungsoo, as though the absence of one would leave you no room for objection. As though the absence of one meant you would have no choice in the matter, even though the choice was always and forever yours. You spoke with pursed lips, your eyes still on that ticking hand of that plain, black and white clock, “Class is about to start.”

“Hyunjoo.”

Hyunjoo.

Just your name.

Just Hyunjoo.

Just the name Ricky and Niel had said over and over just moments ago.

And yet, when he spoke it, that single word, those two syllables, lowly, his voice but a whisper, it sounded different. It felt different. As though he were casting a spell, as though he were murmuring an incantation right beside your ear, you were unable to hear anything else in that moment. Not the sound of chirping birds. Not your classmates who went about their average morning. Not even Ricky and Niel whose voices were but mere hums in the background.  And his magic had worked. Your body moved on its own, following his call before you even realized you were out of your seat.

“Okay.” You mumbled, taking control of yourself. Making sure it was you who was deciding to follow him. Making sure your choice to follow him wasn’t simply an instinctual response to him beckoning to you with that one word.

With your name that always sounded different when it rolled off of his tongue.

Especially now, at this point in time.

He slipped past you, weaving around your body with his own. He grabbed something from behind your desk before he started out of the classroom. You could feel the glances being shot your way by Niel and Ricky. You could feel all eyes on the two of you as you left together, mere seconds before the late bell was to ring.

Just seconds.  

Just seconds was all it took for the two of you to arrive at the stairway. And, as your eyes stayed on his back, as you followed him because he had asked you to without any real rhyme or reason, you realized what it was he had grabbed. You realized what it was that adorned that back of his.

His backpack. And your own bag was in his hands. And you reached a conclusion regarding the “talk” he wanted to have with you. Whatever it was, the possibility of returning to school today was slim to none. You mentally slapped yourself for following him, for letting him lead you so easily. And yet, you still followed. You followed him all the way to the parking lot.

And only then, when it was just the two of you amongst the stragglers that rushed in, the late bell having rung minutes ago. Only then, when he turned to face you, not even an inkling of a smile on his face. Only then was it time to ask the million-dollar question.

“What’s going on, Myungsoo?”

Calling his name was unnecessary. You could have done without it and gotten your point across just fine. It was revenge that fueled your words. It was the urge to make him feel how you felt moments ago when he called your own name that way he did. That way that was so indescribably beautiful it angered you.

It angered you for a multitude of reasons.

Firstly, he only used it when necessary. He only specified that his words were for you when need be. When he felt like it. When the situation required it: such as the time you were hanging above your own death in the Containment Zone so long ago. Thus, it always sounded so much more precious, so much more out of reach, your hands incapable of catching it, of holding it, when he said it. How unfair of him.

Secondly, he made you feel as though you were undeserving of it: your own given name. As though it amounted to something much bigger, much greater than you. That’s how great it sounded when he said it. That’s how loudly the symphonic orchestra played in the background, drowning you in light, highflying notes that drift through the air before disappearing miles off, whenever he uttered it. How unbelievably unfair.

Thirdly, whenever he used it, he’d say it like the world was going to end right then and there. As though it would be the last thing he muttered before he took his final breath and he wouldn’t regret it in the least.

He was beyond unfair.

He was beyond unfair for not getting out his following words sooner.

With an ashen stare, his eyes which seemed to hold the entire galaxy in their pools devoid of its usual stars, he said, “Sunggyu’s been arrested.”

Just yesterday, everything seemed fine. Just yesterday, you had spent the afternoon with Zico’s pack and enjoyed a late night movie with U-kwon before being driven back home by B-bomb. Just yesterday, B-Bomb had told you that the Springfield police could have cared less.

So then, why? Why had Sunggyu been arrested? Why was Myungsoo just as clueless to the answer to that question as you were? Why was he just as confused, just as baffled, by the entire situation, as you were?

There was only one month left until graduation, and yet, things had taken a turn for the worst at the snap of a finger. On an early summer morning, when birds chirped merrily, as students studied diligently, while every single second seemed to pass just as normally as the last, everything had gone awry. And you couldn’t help but think, what else could be so easily disrupted? What else could be so easily corrupted to the point where the outlook of the future appeared hopeless, bleak, and ultimately, even more challenging than you had ever thought it would be? Ever thought it could be?

Myungsoo – who had a legal driver’s license – drove your car all the way to the police station; class, finals, and highschool drama but a mere afterthought as he sped down the road. In total, you counted three stop signs. He had run through three stop signs.

The first, you let slip. The second, you gave him a warning glance for, knowing for a fact that he knew you had looked his way. The third, however, had you reaching out, placing a hesitant hand on his forearm to bring him back down to Earth. To bring him back down from whatever planet’s orbit he was stuck in. To find him where he drifted, lost amongst the endless sea of black, and pull him out of the gravitational field being forced upon him by some ambiguous, nameless black hole too far out of sight to identify the origin of.

Because Earth missed him. Because Earth needed him back. Because you needed him back.

He physically stiffened at your touch, letting out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. His hands, however, loosened their grip on the steering wheel. His right foot, however, remained pressed down on the gas pedal, not letting up in the least.

It was odd, seeing Myungsoo like this. So – simply, in simple words – scared. Myungsoo was scared of what awaited not him in his own, immediate future, but rather in Sunggyu’s. He feared what Sunggyu’s future held in store for the older male – what his destiny was – now. And, you did too. But, he couldn’t be like this.

He shouldn’t.

Not now.

“Myungsoo,” you called his name again, your fingers gripping down, wrapping around his limb. His insulated skin seemed to scorch through his jacket, warming your fingertips to the touch. The sensation sent Goosebumps prickling up your arm, spreading through your body like a virus. Washing over you like a cold, unexpected, unforgiving splash from the tremulous ocean.

You almost drew your hand back because of it. You almost resigned to not touch him again because of it. But, you didn’t. You kept your hand there, steadying him, keeping him grounded, no matter how much the contact burned you, smoldering at the ends of everything you knew to be yours. Because he had to be. Not just for himself. Not just for Sunggyu.

“What are we supposed to do if you get arrested, too?”

You said it jokingly. Out of jest. Just to see him crack a smile. Just to lighten his mood a little. Just a teensy bit. At this point, even just a teensy bit was enough. And, it worked. How did you know?

Because there it was, in all its glory.

There was the usual Kim Myungsoo smirk.

That quirk of one corner of his lips. That dimple that’s barely there but still as clear as day. And there were those stars. There were those stars sparkling across the vastness of his irises as he joked right back.

“Dogs don’t see color.”

Because making light of the situation was all you could do at this point. Because nothing was simple, the complexities of your life growing by the millisecond. And a joke and a smile seemed to make everything okay, even if just for a single second. A single second that was made up of many of those complicated milliseconds.

A single second that was enough to keep you grounded too.

“Kim Sunggyu was brought in one hour ago under the discretion of a group of police officers here at the station. As such, he has yet to be cleared for visiting hours.” The woman at the front desk reported to Myungsoo and yourself, her face impassive, deadpan, as though this were all standard procedure.

Myungsoo stepped forward, pressing his right palm down onto the wooden counter as he leaned over, looking down at her where she sat, “He called me.” The woman’s eyes grew wide, as though she was unaware he had been permitted to do such a thing. “If they let him call me, how can he not be “cleared” yet?”

The woman looked back down, brown bangs falling over her eyes as she furiously typed at her computer. Multiple clicks of her keyboard echoed through the small waiting room, creating a tense melody along with the tapping of Myungsoo’s foot. A tapping that wouldn’t cease. Did he even realize he was doing it?

Tapping one’s foot is a way to release stress. But, at the same time, doesn’t it also incite the very thing it relieves? Doesn’t it also build a person’s impatience, frustration, and worried feelings up, all the way to the brim? Until the point where with each, tap, tap, tap, stress takes you over. Stressful thoughts invade your mind. Stressful feelings are all that you can feel.

Stress.

It wasn’t a good look on him.

So, you moved your left foot forward, covering his own tapping right. His gaze left the woman’s as he turned to you instead. And when those eyes of his locked with yours, you sent him a silent message. You reminded him once more of what you had in the car.

Myungsoo, this isn’t hide and seek. Getting lost in it all will only make it harder to find him.

And then, you diverted your eyes, stuffed your hands in your pockets, and feigned ignorance. And you had heard him crack a laugh, just a small one, as your foot remained there, covering his own. Keeping him grounded in the most literal of senses. It was the second time you had done so today. And, it would also be the last. Because this time, Earth’s roots weren’t going to let him drift away again. This time, Myungsoo’s feet planted themselves firmly into the soil. He wasn’t going anywhere.

And you couldn’t have been more thankful for that.

“Yes, I see.” The woman spoke up, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip, tugging on the pink flesh as she was thinking. As she was wondering why she wasn’t aware of the phone call Sunggyu had made, even though it was there, plain as day, on his record. She released her lip from her torture to say more when she stopped. When she suddenly realized something. It was a realization that hit her like a fast ball, surprising her into a small fit of rage – though her anger was most likely being channeled from her frustration with her previous state of confusion. She spoke in an accusatory voice, “Wait, aren’t you two highschoolers? Didn’t highschool start,” she paused to look down to her computer screen, checking the current time, before continuing, “not even an hour ago?”

And now, the possibility of seeing Sunggyu had slipped through your fingers, just like that. Because you were a highschooler. Because, to the world of those who held 9 to 5 jobs, you were just a child. You and Myungsoo were children who had ventured like lost lambs to the police station, the lion-like woman at the counter only now using her superior status as an adult who was a part of the working world against the two of you. Courtesy had been thrown out the window. Inside voices was a term that seemingly didn’t exist anymore.

“If you don’t return to school, I’m going to have to have an officer you there by force.” Her hand drifted to the phone at her side and it hovered there, her threat anything but empty. Her eyes looked to you in particular now, her words the same as that hand of hers, threatening and domineering,  “You’re the girl who moved here with her mother last year, are you not? The Song family? I’m sure your mother wouldn’t want to hear about this. If Kim Sunggyu has been cleared for visiting hours after school, then we’ll go from there. So, for now, make this easy on yourselves and leave of your own volition.”

She wanted to get rid of the two of you. The situation was becoming bigger than either the two of you or her herself had ever intended in the first place. The downside to living in a small town was that word got around fast. Most everyone knew your face. Even if they didn’t know your first name, they knew your last. The woman knew Myungsoo, the reason her lecture on upholding parent’s pride in their child was pointedly said to you.

The couple that was in the waiting room as well, who had been arguing with each other over parking tickets, had stopped their bickering in order to watch the woman scold the two of you. The police officers whose desk were within an earshot through the door just to her right were peeking over, attempting to get a look at what was going on.

The smart thing to do was to leave. To quietly, with your tail between your legs, head back to school. But, the smart thing to do wasn’t what you were willing to do in the least. Myungsoo, whose hand was still firmly planted on the top of the counter, didn’t look like he was willing to take the easy way out either. As the two of you wrote your death wish, as the two of you were more than willing to get into trouble right then and there, someone came to the rescue.

Or, in hindsight, Death had come to sign your death certificate.

“Is there a reason to be yelling at these two, Miss Park?”

A rough, scratching voice came from your right, causing you to flinch. Causing you to turn almost immediately. You came face to face with a tall, bulky – or perhaps built – man with a cleanly shaven face and a head of fiery red hair. He towered over you, a shining white, toothy grin on his face. When his eyes landed on you, a shiver ran down your spine, as though an earthquake was shaking the foundation you were standing upon. For whatever reason, you felt wary of him.

He extended his large, somewhat calloused, hand to you, “I don’t think I’ve had the honor of meeting you yet.”

“Sherriff, I—“ the woman began, attempting to explain herself to the man. He shook his head, raising his outstretched hand to her as his eyes remained on you. Focused completely on you to the point where you felt yourself shrinking away without knowing why. He was intimidating to say the least, but that’s not why you found yourself meek due to his sudden appearance. That’s not why Myungsoo shifted his foot from underneath your own, pulling it away from you, putting distance between you and him.

The real reason why would evade you until later on, when more fragments of the truth were revealed to you. Now, however, you remained confused by Myungsoo’s shift of attitude. By his eyes that bore into the man’s own. By his next words whose subtext held within them a hidden meaning, “We only want to see our friend.”

Only.

Only that.

Introductions or other like talks weren’t what the two of you were looking for, even if he was the “Sherriff” – according to the woman – of the Springfield police station. But, it wasn’t just needless introductions Myungsoo was referring to. It wasn’t as simple as that. It was never as simple as that.

“Well, why didn’t you just say so in the first place?” The man’s grin got wider. So much so you thought his face would crack. That the mask he seemingly wore would tear at the seams any second.

“We did.” You spoke up, and you could feel the look of panic the woman at the desk was giving you. It appeared that the “Sherriff” had the same effect on her as he did on you. And you felt bad instantly, covering for the woman immediately afterwards because no matter how rude she was to you, no matter how she was unjustly taking out her anger on the two of you, she didn’t deserve trouble with her boss. Because, technically, everything the woman was saying was right. Technically, you were the one in the wrong here. “But, I think we were misunderstood somewhere along the way. That’s all.”

The tall man eyed you, one of his thick black eyebrows raised in suspicion, that smile still there as though he had once smiled so much that that old saying came true – hold an expression long enough and your face will stay like that. “I’ll be taking these two off of your hands, Miss Park. Go about your daily routine and I’ll discuss with you later the skills one should have in order to better communicate with civilians.”

The woman was still being punished, but she spoke not a word as she nodded her head, not daring to look the man straight in the eyes. But, your own confidence, no matter the hit it took at the mere sound of the man’s voice, didn’t allow you to back down. You stared up at him, unwavering. And you swore you had heard him laugh. You swore you had caught the falter in that hardened mask of his, his smile changing. His smile contorting into a languid smirk that left your stomach churning, your intestines coiling, at the sight.

“Right this way, you two.” He gestured to the door behind the woman that seemed too small for him. Yet, he walked through it with ease, black dress shirt tucked into blue jeans never looking so odd on someone before. So out of place. So wrong.

You kept your wits about you as you followed him, Myungsoo at your side, and yet, so much farther than you wished he had been, all the way down through the room of probing eyes. You just hoped one of them wouldn’t recognize you. You just hoped your mother wouldn’t hear of this. If she did, you didn’t want to know what her reaction would be.

You averted your own eyes, not wanting to meet theirs. You looked instead to Myungsoo beside you. And from his facial expression alone, just from the view of the peripheral of his eyes that darted towards you before facing forward once more, it all clicked. His distance from you was a calculated response to the situation the two of you had landed yourselves in. 

But, why?

You wished you had asked him then instead of later. Instead of later, when you would talk to him the way you did. The way you did that blamed everything on him once more. But, that’s in the future. The immediate future that followed the conversation you had with Sunggyu just then. Just then, as the red-haired man unlocked and opened a steel door, allowing both Myungsoo and yourself inside a room which held three cells, thick bars closing off each and every gray bricked room.

Sunggyu was sitting there, in the utmost right one, wearing a casual logo tee and black jeans. As though he was seemingly unbothered by his surroundings, he the knees of his jeans, pulling off lint that had collected there. He didn’t look injured, but even if he had been, wouldn’t it have healed by now? Knowing Sunggyu, however, he came without a fight. He must have. Because if he had put up even the slightest bit of resistance, killing him would have been the only way they would have been able to subdue him. He’d be in a body bag instead of a jail cell. It was morbid to think. It had you thankful that he was behind bars. It had you quickly shortening the distance between yourself and him, your fingers wrapping around one of the steel bars within mere seconds.

“What’s with you, acting all nonchalant?” Your lips stretched so wide you felt like your cheeks would crack under the pressure. Your chest felt so heavy you had to hold back the gasp you almost made in order to breath properly. You held it and held it and held it as he stood up slowly from the rickety bed of his cell, approaching you with agonizingly slow steps, because you knew. Because you could feel your tear ducts begin to water. Relief and frustration burned at your eyes, your eyelashes fluttering multiple times to keep it back. To keep back the waves that threatened to spill over the brim of your lower eyelids.

And Sunggyu didn’t respond to you, not right away. Not before directing a set of words towards the Sherriff of Springfield, “Can I have a few minutes with them?” 

You could hear the man laugh somewhere far away. Somewhere too far away for you to focus on anything but what was right in front of you. Sunggyu. Sunggyu, alive. Alive and well. The worst case scenario hadn’t occurred. It wasn’t the end of the world. Of your world.

“A couple of minutes is two minutes. A few minutes is three.” The man informed Sunggyu, keys to his cell jingling mockingly at his side, “You’ll get only what you've asked for.”

And you heard the door close behind you.

And you felt Sunggyu’s eyes on you.

And you felt his hand cover your own.

Had he noticed it? Had he noticed the way your fingers trembled? The way your dewy eyes held back with all their might? The way you held back with all your might?

Was that why he reached out, grabbing hold of your hand with his own? Wrapping it in the safety of his own, reassuring you with a single gesture as though it were nothing. As though it was as easy as that. As though he’d always be able to do it, no matter what happened in the future. No matter the worst case scenario that loomed over your heads like a curse, continuously threatening his wellbeing.

“I’d never thought I’d see the day.” A laugh escaped him, the pad of his thumb tracing circles on your fingers, softly, gently, and yet the contact left you buzzing, “Are you going to cry for me, Hyunjoo?”

You huffed at him, “I’m not crying.” You corrected, blinking your tears away, “My eyes are leaking. That’s all.”

“That’s all?” He rose an eyebrow, a smile fighting to make itself known on his features. A smile that won out against his urge to tease you more as it bloomed on his face, “Well, I don’t mind if you don’t have it fixed any time soon.” In other words, he liked this. He secretly – or rather obviously – liked that you were on the brink of tears for him. You faked a laugh, forgetting that it wasn’t just the two of you. Forgetting that relishing in this moment would only end up effectively wasting the three minutes Sunggyu was allowed to see you.

Forgetting that Myungsoo was there as well until Sunggyu brought it up.

“Did you tell the others?”

Myungsoo nodded, “They’re all probably on their way here right now.”

Sunggyu nodded back, pausing to think, to contemplate his next words, before he actually spoke them, “While I’m here, Zico and Dongwoo are in charge.”

“I know.”

“No matter what happens, listen to them. Make sure the others do too. No matter what.”

“I know.”

“If you need my help, I can make one phone call a day. Don’t hesitate to call here to speak with me.”

“I know.”

“I know you guys will be fine. Everything will be fine.”

“I know.”

Sunggyu’s grip on your hand tightened, his eyebrows furrowing downwards as he looked on at Myungsoo at your side, “Myungsoo, I’ll be fine, you know?”

Myungsoo didn’t respond right away. He stood there, stiffly staring at Sunggyu with an expression you were actually able to pinpoint. An expression you were able to read perfectly because you were feeling the exact same way. It was like looking a mirror. A mirror that reflected back at you all of the complex, unexplainable, tremulous emotions you were feeling right at this very moment. “I know.”

Three minutes went by much faster than you had hoped. Three minutes never seemed so short. Three minutes wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough for you to memorize the feeling of his hand that pulled away as the door opened again.

“Time’s up.” The man chanted merrily as he herded the two of you out, allowing you only one last glance at Sunggyu who waved so casually, so nonchalantly, you wanted to turn around and go to him again. You didn’t want to leave so easily. But, you had to.

But, you would.

You would believe in Sunggyu. In his words. In that everything would be fine.

Everything would be okay.

“What is he charged with?” Was the first question you asked as soon as the door closed behind you and Myungsoo. The answer you received was just as miniscule, just as unbelievable, as you thought it would be.

“Obstruction of justice.” The man replied and you had to stop yourself from laughing outright at how ridiculous it sounded. From how even the red-haired man himself seemed to know there was something more to Sunggyu’s arrest then that. It as his next sentence, however, that threw you off. That was anything but miniscule.

“Boys like him all end up here someday though. One way or another. Someway or another.”

A body bag or a jail cell.

The idea was morbid to think about.

The idea stuck to you like a leech, hanging heavily on you, prickling at your skin, draining you dry.

The word “fine” never seemed so ambiguous.

Once outside the doors of the police station, once you and Myungsoo reached where your car was parked, you busted like a balloon under pressure. The smallest of needles, the tiniest of statements from the biggest of men, all that it took to push you past the edge. You turned to the impassive face at your side, stopping him from proceeding further.

“You know him. I know you do.” You were angry and scared at the same time. You were fearful and on the offensive at the same time. The ambiguity of it all had dazzled you to the point in which you wanted answers. Now. Not later. “Who is he?”

Myungsoo averted his eyes, not looking at you. Why? Why was he avoiding your question? Why had you been so forthwith about the entire ordeal? Why were you pushing at him so much when, if it had been just yesterday, you wouldn’t have questioned him in the least?

Perhaps you were angry at him. Perhaps you were angry that he always held back what he knew. That he always held back what he wanted to tell you. What he so obviously wanted to shout back at you when you yelled at him like this; or when you talked to him about even the smallest of things. Perhaps you just wanted to push him into finally saying something, anything, even though you shouldn’t have. Even though you would come to regret it almost immediately.

“Myungsoo.” You called his name, your tone akin to a snake’s as his name rolled off of your tongue coated with such poisonous rage that you knew you should’ve stopped. But, you didn’t. But, you wouldn’t. But, you couldn’t.

Myungsoo locked eyes with you and you felt yourself falter, your knees weaken. You were jelly in the palm of his hands. And, yet, he didn’t play with you. He didn’t mess with you. With the utmost seriousness, he responded, “Yeah, I know him.”

He knows him. He knows the red-haired, nameless man: the “Sherriff” of Springfield. He knows him as more than that. Because why else would he step away from you the way he did? Why else would he act as though the two of you were simply acquaintances together by coincidence?

“How?” You pressed further, wanting more than just a simple affirmative, “How do you know him?”

And, he answered. Naturally. Normally. Without a single pause. “He and my father were, for lack of a better word, business partners.”

“Business partners?” It wasn’t long until you had grasped onto what he was insinuating. It wasn’t long until you realized what the Sherriff’s departing words to you had truly meant. “Then, he knows what Sunggyu is. He knows what you are. What all of you are.”

Myungsoo deafly nodded, and that was enough. That was enough for now. That sated your anger just as easily as it had been to set off.

“Obstruction of justice, huh?” You scoffed, stepping out of Myungsoo’s way before rounding the car and getting into the passenger side once more. And your phone rang then, drawing your attention away from how Myungsoo might have looked, how Myungsoo might have been reacting, due to your outburst.

It was Woohyun. It was a panicked Woohyun who was on his way to the police station along with Kyung and Dongwoo. He asked if you had gone, if you had seen Sunggyu, if you had found out what happened. You explained the situation calmly to him as the car roared to life, Myungsoo’s hand entering your view for a moment as he buckled his seat belt.

“They barely let us see him.” You ended with, watching as Myungsoo reached over, noiselessly turning on the air conditioning of the car.

And Woohyun’s voice growled through the transceiver, “I’ll be damned if I don’t see him before I go back.” Along with a few curses directed towards the police in a voice you recognized as Kyung’s. Along with a voice you recognized as Dongwoo’s telling him not to say any of what he just did once the three arrived at the station. Along with the sound of your own laugh, a gesture that had your body relaxing into your seat because it felt good. It felt good to laugh.

“Give ‘em hell.” You said before hanging up.

Before Myungsoo began the long, almost endless, drive back to school, despite said building only being twenty minutes away.

The car ride back started off silent. Neither you nor Myungsoo said a single word as an old pop song hummed from the stereo, filling the space between the two of you. Myungsoo was driving again. Except, this time, he was stopping at all the stop signs. This time, the world presented itself to him in all of its vibrant color. The reds. The yellows. And the greens. You would have complimented him on his improvement from just less than an hour ago when it seemed as though a maniac was behind the wheel of your car. You would have joked with him about it, attempting to pull that smile of his from him again.

But, you didn’t.

Overwhelming feelings of guilt had lodged themselves into your throat. Regret over what you had done piled up to the point where you couldn’t even bare to look at him. You could only manage to look on at his reflection. Only his reflection in the passenger side which appeared only momentarily whenever he would drive past a row of trees or a large, dark colored building. Only his reflection that gave away not a single hint of anger. As though in Kim Myungsoo Land, it was just another day. As though there was no reason for you to feel the way you did at that very moment.

But, you did.

Because you regretted your words.

It was one of those times when you said something and immediately wished you could take it back. You wished you could have said it differently. Could have worded it in a way that wouldn’t have sounded the way it did as it echoed past your ears and settled in you mind.

All you could manage as you stared into that fleeting reflection of his was:

“I’m sorry.”

You watched him through the window. You watched his expression, picking it apart as best you could. Analyzing it as best you could. Trying to catch any hint as to what he was thinking from it. You ended up with nothing, as you always had before. As though the mirror had long since clouded over.

“For what?” He questioned, his eyes still on the road as his hands relaxingly held onto the steering wheel, an eleven and five position that was anything but standard.

Of course, he’d make you say why. Of course, he’d force you to replay that moment in your head all over again and make you regret it even more than you already did.

“For snapping at you just now.” You explained slowly, “For forcing you to answer me.”

For calling his name the way you did. So frustrated. So annoyed. So angry. He didn’t deserve that. None of this was his fault. And yet, you made it sound like it was. And yet, you seemingly put all the blame on him for the connection he had with the man with flaming red hair. He didn’t deserve any of it.

That’s why you were sorry.

And yet, you heard him jeer, a mix of an amused laugh and a sigh of disbelief leaving his lips. His next word didn’t immediately help you feel better. If anything, it made you feel worse. If anything, the way he called your name again made your stomach knot itself into contortions that were impossible for you to undo on your own, “Hyunjoo, you don’t have to apologize.”

His lips were set in a casual line. His brown eyes remained steady on the road that seemed to stretch on forever in front of him. He only blinked three times. You had counted. You hadn’t missed a single one. Why? Because it wasn’t his likeness in the passenger side window you were looking at anymore. When had you turned towards him? When had you stopped merely looking at his ephemeral reflection? You didn’t know. How long had it been since you had done so? You didn’t know. And you were okay with not knowing.

He felt your eyes on him – why wouldn’t he? –  and as he took a right at the stop sign, he chanced a glance into your direction, “What?”

You shrugged your shoulders as you leaned into the leather of the seat, your eyes on him even when he looked away, casting his gaze towards the road once more, “I don’t know.”

And you hadn’t meant to do it. You hadn’t meant to pull from him another one of his smiles, a light joke leaving his own lips, “Well, if you don’t know, who does?”

He was unfair. He didn’t deserve to be grilled for answers. You didn’t deserve his smile. You honestly didn’t know why you watched him the entire, peaceful, drive back to highschool, where the two of you were just children on the brink of landing themselves into trouble. You were honestly okay with never knowing.

The day went just as fast as it so suddenly came crashing down around you. Just like that, here you were, sitting at you desk in front of the classroom. Another day in highschool. Just another normal day in which rumors had already began to stir and almost fantasy like tales were being told regarding Sunggyu’s arrest. One of them, in particular, is that he dared to attempt to marry a princess from a far away kingdom and the beautiful princess’s father had, in anger, put out a bounty on his head.

At least they were all silly like this.

At least this meant no one actually believed Sunggyu had landed himself at the police station by doing something even close to a vicious crime.

Finals were coming up soon, so perhaps their minds were distracted from the darker things. From the less pleasant things. To the more interesting game of soccer that was happening on the sports field, many boys gathering in order to play; many girls gathering to watch them play. Niel and Ricky were two said boys. And you were, until moments ago, one of said girls. You had left to come back inside against their urging only around five minutes ago. It was too hot outside to only sit beneath the blazing sun. Besides, you had the sudden urge to use the bathroom and you figured you’d simply stay inside afterwards.

There was still twenty minutes before the warning bell rung. There was still twenty minutes for you to kill. But, you didn’t have anything in particular to do. Ricky and Niel were outside. The wolves weren’t here today either. And, you wondered if you should simply go to the soccer field again to watch your two friends. You wondered only briefly before you pulled out your phone, resigning to play a game in the meantime.

In the middle of shooting down big bad sea monsters with your super robot, a voice suddenly called for you. You jumped in your seat, your phone clattering down onto your desk and your robot sustaining a critical hit as you failed to deflect the enemy’s attack in time. It was game over. At the sight of the red letters which flashed across the screen, you tsked. You had almost beaten your high score. Almost.

“Game over?” The same voice that called you asked, “Sorry, I interrupted you didn’t I?” Interrupted was the nice word for it. Bang Minah had literally just caused you to allow the destruction of the entire planet. When you voiced this to her in jest, however, she simply laughed and said, “There’s always tomorrow.”

Your joke had gotten a laugh out of the girl who wore a look on confliction on her face. And, upon seeing that look on her face, your words were out before you could even question them. Before you could even begin to wonder how to start up a normal conversation with her that lasted longer than a few seconds or a mere minute, “Or today. There’s always today. There’s always right now.” Minah’s eyebrows furrowed, her smile fading. She didn’t understand what you were insinuating until you ended with, “Do you want to play?”

You picked up your phone and held it out to her. And, to your surprise, she said yes. To your surprise, she pulled a chair up to your desk and you went about explaining the game mechanics to her. Her periwinkle painted – she told you their color upon you asking – nails held onto your phone with the utmost of care, her eyes trained on the monsters that appeared one after the other on the portable screen. She got through level one on the second try.

“How many levels are there?” She asked, eyes still focusing on all the explosions happening in between her hands. The pink princess’s eyes danced with the colors flashing before her. You entertained the idea of her liking robots since birth instead of dolls. You wondered if it was still too late to turn her around to them. Judging from the yell she gave upon dying on level two, it wasn’t, “! I died!”

You looked at her with raised eyebrows, amazed that an actual curse word had just left her sweet, fluffy word spewing lips. The pink princess had a dark side and to say you relished in the look of alarm she gave you upon realizing what she had just said would be an understatement.

She cleared , eyeing the classroom to see if her outburst had caught the attention of any of the few students who had been waiting for class to start as well. And, judging from the way she buried her head in her arms, she had caught all of it. She grumbled garbled words as she continued to hide from the eyes of your other classmates, “My mom banned me playing video games when I was a kid. She says they make me too violent and unladylike.”

And you couldn’t help but laugh at that.

It seemed bringing her over to the dark side was going to be much easier than it seemed at first. Especially when she yelled another outburst just then, “What? I have to start from level one? This is bull—“ She stopped herself, caught herself, before she could say anymore. She threw a meek looking grin your way before continuing on. Five minutes passed by like that, with her reaching level four, before she spoke up again. As she said something you hadn’t expected her to. As she had done something you hadn’t expected her to.

“I talked to my mother about Sunggyu.” Her fingers tapped the screen, her eyes not looking up to meet yours as she continued, “I know he’s not the type to do something bad. If anything, he’s adverse to anything and everything bad.” Her bangs shifted as she finally looked up. And what you saw was furrowed eyebrows, frowning lips, and fragile eyes that looked as though they would break any second. She had tried for you. For Sunggyu. She had done something she didn’t have to. She had done something you never expected her to. “I don’t know if it’ll help but, it can’t hurt, right?”

“Thank you.” Was all you said as you sat there in front of her. In front of Bang Minah, a different girl from the one you knew when the leaves were turning red and orange and brilliant yellow. A different girl that you couldn’t help but find yourself liking more and more each second you spent talking to her.

She parted her lips to say more, to say that you didn’t have to say thanks, to say she didn’t do it just to make you feel grateful towards her, but a large banging sound made her jump, stopping her before she could say a word. A large banging sound that came from the device between her hands caused her attention to fall back down.

Game Over.

The word flashed on the screen, mocking her. But, this time, she didn’t curse. She laughed, her pretty sounding, casual, comfortable voice – that you had failed to hear before now – causing your lips to curve upwards, “I at this.”

“Practice makes perfect.” You quipped back, not able to hold back your amusement as you saw her finger glide over the “retry” button.

She unlocked the door slowly, taking tired steps inside right after. To say she was exhausted by the day she had experienced would be an understatement. Constantly, she was running this way and that. Constantly, she was hopping from one class to the next during every single passing period. Constantly, she was looking for information as to why Sunggyu was arrested in the first place. Because she wanted to help him. Because he had helped her. Because she knew for a fact that Sunggyu wasn’t the type of person who would be arrested for a reason that was anything but ridiculous and uncalled for.

That’s how she came to the conclusion she did.

That’s how she figured out with ease that her mother must have had something to do with it. That’s why she talked to her mother yesterday. That’s why she talked with you today. And she was more than glad she did. But, still, she felt like she hadn’t learned anything. She felt like she was at the foot of the high scaling mounting, looking up at the unknown future that awaited her, awaited everyone she knew, with unsteady eyes. With unready eyes.

She wasn’t ready for it. She wasn’t ready to find out the secrets of Springfield. The secrets she had already, always, been a part of. The secrets she still ignored despite being a part of them.

She was fine with never knowing. She was fine with remaining ignorant and naïve. The reason? If she wasn’t then what would her daily life become? What would lunch with Yura, Niel, Ricky, and you become? She had spent less time with Sojin and Jihae who were flying overseas for University after graduation, their parents and their grades allowing them to do so. Hyeri still hung around sometimes but lately she had been busy helping her parents pack up their house. She was moving. Someplace whose name she didn’t know how to pronounce. Somewhere far away. Too far to simply go out and see her, all of them, at the drop of a hat. Her friends were leaving her.

It was saddening.

But, at the same time, she wasn’t bothered by it as much as she would have been had it been just last fall. At some point, Sojin, Jihae, and Hyeri had drifted apart from herself and Yura.

Sojin, who always called Sungyeol, “Oppa,” because she had skipped a grade back in elementary school. Because she had liked him since she first saw him in middle school. She became sensitive when it came to him because of that but not once had she not listened to Minah whenever she spoke of her own crush as though the world revolved around him and him alone.

Jihae, whose studies kept her away from Hoya every lunch period. She wouldn’t admit that she likes him now, but Minah could tell she did from the way her sarcastic, playful, joking words would disappear and a coy smile would frame her face every time he passed by.

And Hyeri, who had developed slight interest in Sungjong, the bad-mouthed pretty boy – for reasons Minah didn’t understand. She always was the spunky one, the exciting one, the one whose smile never failed to make her smile back, and now she was moving away.

So, Minah was saddened by it.

From late elementary school to highschool, they had hung by her side no matter what she said or did. To lose them to circumstance left her feeling lonely. Sad. And, ultimately, confused about where she would go from here. But, she knew life would go on. She knew friends come and go. She knew she’d always be able refer to them using that title because no matter how much time had passed, no matter how much any one of them changed over such an unpredictable thing as time, they’d always be her friends: the three girls who supported her no matter what.

It was the changing of her current time, her present reality, that worried her the most. The confused her the most. That left her feeling lonely and forgotten.

She didn’t have the need for anything exciting or complicated or dramatic that existed outside of the walls of her highschool. The problem with this was, she couldn’t ignore it. She couldn’t turn a blind eye as the questions of whether she could help, whether she could do something, scratched at the back of , threatening to come out every time she walked into class every morning and saw you sitting there, a smile on your face as though nothing was wrong.

How were you able to smile like that despite it all? Despite everything you must have been going through? Despite everything her father – and herself – had put you through?

It was mystifying to say the least.

It was mystifying that she wanted to keep you smiling. Selfishness could have been a part of it. After all, there was one person in particular – whose opinion mattered the most to her – who was affected by that smile of yours. Who smiled along with you when you weren’t looking. When Minah was looking, as he still had that seat. He still filled that seat behind her. Behind her, where there existed a land she hadn’t ventured into. That she could only take peeks at from afar. That she had come close to only a handful of times, just to be deported from its borders before she could take that second step on its green grasses, under its blue skies, under its beaming sun.

That’s what he was to her. Hot, burning, bright. Like the sun. Unreachable. Untouchable. Impossible to even get close to without being smoldered, an ash-like existence all the awaited her in the face of him.

Just a grain, a measly spec, of ash.

But, this wasn’t for him. This wasn’t for him whose attention she desired more than anything, would have done anything for, in the past. This was for herself. Her own redemption. Her own attempt to keep Yura, Niel, Ricky, and you smiling. To make the complications of the prohibited land even a little bit simpler from her place on the faraway island she floated upon.

It was the least she could do.

Once more, she wished to aid the situation. Except, this time, for the benefit of the opposite side.

She dragged her feet up the stairs, ready to fall asleep any second now. She had finals to study for but, all she needed was a nap. All she wanted was to lay her head on her pillow and close her eyes, school clothes still on and all. She was so tired, so out of it, or perhaps so deep in it, that she failed to announce her arrival. She failed to notify her mother of her presence.

And that’s how she heard it. That’s how she heard the words her mother exchanged with another, unheard, person over the phone in her father’s office. That’s how she was reduced to tears in an instant. She may have been right, but that didn’t mean she liked it. That didn’t mean she wanted to be.

And what else could she do at this point?

She was stronger now but she still felt weak. She still felt helpless. Confused. Lonely. And, forgotten.

So, what else could she do at this point?

What else could she do but call the one person who had helped her before?

“I— ” she began, her lips pressed against the phone’s speaker, her voice stuttering as she sat with her knees to her chest at the foot of her bed; eyes spilling over to the point where she was drowned in them. To the point where she couldn’t come up for air long enough to even think about what she was doing. About what she should be doing. “I don’t know what to do.” Her voice cracked and she sank her lead lower, burying herself into her knees, wishing and wishing and wishing upon an unseen, unfalling star that she had the strength to do what she now requested of him, “Please, help me.”

And he answered her almost immediately. The resolute nature of his usual joking voice held not a single crack. Just like a thick, durable stonewall. Like a stonewall built for exactly these types of situations.

These types of ill-boding situations.

“I’ll be there soon, little sparrow.”

A/N:

I don't even know what to say here. Let's see, I love Animal Crossing. Ricky and Niel bromance forever and always. Tasty is coming back with a new album. This chapter was long again and all I want to do is curl up and eat myself to sleep. So, here I go, heading on out for now. 

Nom. Nom. Nom.