Chapter 5

Daehyun jumped over the low steps and landed with a thump, both feet steadily on the porch. A smile was already tugging at the corners of his lips when he brought his hand up to ring on the doorbell. The white small bud just touched Daehyun’s fingertip when he spotted the keys inserted in the door, so his hand instead moved to the hanging keys and let sound of metal clatter run through his fingers. The smile on his features widened when recognized the yellow and white bunny keychain; of course, trust Youngjae to be stupid enough to leave his keys in the door.

A light chuckle escaped his mouth as he opened the door, and entered after he pulled the keys out.

“Hello?” Daehyun shouted to make himself known, figuring that it would be to rude of him to just appear in front of the house’s owner.

“Daehyunnie?” a female voice answered, the light tone came from his left and made Daehyun turn in the same direction after taking off his shoes.

Youngjae’s mother was sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor surrounded by countless of bowls and plates with radish, rice, ham and all other possible ingredient one could find in traditional Korean kimbap. What really caught Daehyun’s attention though was predictably the mountain of kimbap rolls that looked even more delicious than the ones sold by the chattering ajummas.

“Whoa, are you making food for a whole month or are you preparing to make a business out if this?” Then Daehyun remembered that he had yet to greet the elder and instantly took a bow and mumbled an excessive polite greeting in hopes that she would overlook his sudden outburst.

“Oh Daehyunnie, you’re here,” she smiled broadly at him; her kind eyes for a short moment reminded him of Youngjae’s. “I thought that since I was getting my hands dirty, might as well make a lot.” She hands stretched for the yellow pieces of radish and put them on the rice smeared on a green sheet of seaweed. “It’s too much of a hassle, with this much I won’t have to make this again anytime soon.”

Daehyun must have been staring, because when he pulled himself out of his trance the woman in front of him was chuckling. She waved at him to come over with a gentle smile and Daehyun unconsciously obliged. He crouched down next to her, careful not to overturn anything on his way. “Want one?” she asked, to which Daehyun grinned and eagerly nodded.

Youngjae’s mom tore a bit of plastic foil and wrapped it round the end of a roll before handing it over to Daehyun.

The young boy happily accepted it with both hands, “Thank you,” he said cheerily as he took a half-bow.

“I wish Youngjae had an appetite like yours,” she laughed softly. “He’s in his room by the way. Probably not in a very good mood, he came down before and muttered something about you being late,” she warned but Daehyun could tell she found the whole thing amusing.

Daehyun only grinned and took a bite of the seaweed covered roll. The delicious taste had just made its way down his throat when he remembered Youngjae’s lost property, “Oh, I found these outside and invited myself in,” he said and held up the keys for Youngjae’s mother to see.

“Aish, that kid,” she said as she stared at the dangling metal things, stopping her kimbap making process entirely. “I don’t know how many times I’ve told him to make sure to put his keys in the cabinet,” she shook her head in disapproval. “Luckily, it was you who found them.”

“It must be hard on you, having a son like that,” he joked and brightened when the elder laughed along with him. Mrs Yoo was one of the few adults, aside from his parents of course, that he felt he could say something careless to every now and then and not be grilled for it. He was glad that she was so easy-going and sometimes they would even join forces and attack the snarky son of the house.

“If you only knew,” she played along and winked. But then her smile turned gentler and more mother-like, “Our Youngjae,” she started, careful and soft, in that specific tone one had when speaking about someone or something precious. “With all the joking aside…he really is the perfect son.”

Daehyun’s legs were starting to give in, so he shifted to sit with his legs crossed on the floor. “When he was a toddler then? Was he troublesome?” Daehyun asked, suddenly genuinely curious.

“Youngjae was…” her eyebrows furrowed thoughtfully before she looked up and continued: “he was practically a parents dream. Slept through the whole night, ate everything given to him and never got sick, there were really nothing for us to worry about.”

“Really?” Daehyun asked, slightly surprised by the new found facts regarding the other teen.

The proud mother nodded then continued: “he was or well, he is a very bright kid; he started crawling, walking and talking before we expected him to. Always up for a surprise, that kid,” she chuckled. “Youngjae does his best even without us telling him to. We never have to nag him about homework or anything else, he has always been independent. And economical too, “she laughed heartily, “If he wants something, he won’t ask us for it. He’ll save up his own money to buy it, ‘how can I know that it’s truly mine, if I can’t claim that I deserve it?’ he’ll say. So his father and I are only allowed to spoil him when he let us.”

Daehyun nibbled on his kimbap roll as he listened intently, “He does sound like the ideal son,” he said fondly.

With used hands and gestures Youngjae’s mom returned to her culinary. “But sometimes I’m worried that he is too independent. He bottles everything up and deals with everything alone…he rarely tells me anything,” she said distantly and sighed.

‘He does’, was Daehyun’s first thought. There have been so many times he wished for the other to open up to him, to let him know what was going through his head. Daehyun didn’t want to admit it, even tried to bury the thought in some dark corner of his mind, but he was slowly growing tired of being the one searching, the one constantly on the edge looking for things or details to keep himself hanging.

“I can imagine that he is like that with you as well,” Daehyun turned to look at the elder, his eyes blinked twice wondering if she had just somehow magically read his thoughts. “Have a little patience with him. He’s a good kid…” Youngjae’s mom then smiled tenderly at him, “and so are you, I’m glad that Youngjae has you as his friend.”

The younger swallowed a non-existing lump down his throat as he thought of his non-existing patience. But then again, he had managed so far without being consumed by his frustration. So…

‘I’ll try…’

Daehyun had almost, keyword almost, opened his mouth to correct her…

‘More than friends…’

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“What’s this?” a voice bounced from across the kitchen. Daehyun turned his head and saw Youngjae eyeing them suspiciously through narrowed mismatched eyes. “Jung Daehyun, are you trying to infiltrate my family?”

Daehyun grinned at the sight of the other, “Something like that,” he said and got up. “I’ll have you know that it’s quite a success so far.”

Youngjae rolled his eyes and approached the fridge, he pulled out a water bottle, threw it at Daehyun who barely caught it with his free hand and then pulled out another one for himself. “Mom,” Youngjae said and eyed the circle of food surrounding the addressed woman. “What’s with all the food? Are you opening a store or what?”

“I asked her the same thing,” Daehyun chuckled and went to stand beside Youngjae.

“I’m making this for you,” she explained calmly as she looked at her son, then her eyes shifted to Daehyun and added. “Bring some with you home later, okay?”

Daehyun beamed at the woman in front of him, “Thank you, Mrs Yoo.”

He was just about to shove the last piece of kimbap into his mouth when he heard the boy beside him utter: “Why this much though? I’m not Daehyun, I don’t eat like a-“

“Yah!” Daehyun nudged him harshly on the ribs, making other wince in pain. “Mind your words, please,” he glared.

“Youngjae-ah, be nice,” his mother said. And Daehyun flashed Youngjae a triumphant smirk. “I’m making a lot so that you can eat more,” she continued and threw her son a meaningful look. “Look at how thin you have become. Aish, kids these days…you all need some more pounds on you.” She shook her head slightly and made a sound at the back of , “I remember when you were all chubby and fluffy, aigoo, you were so cute…”

This time Youngjae winced for an entirely different reason, “Mom…” he whined.

With heightened amusement he turned to Youngjae with a raised eyebrow, “Fluffy?”

Well, he is kind of fluffy with his cute cheeks; Daehyun thought and strongly resisted the urge to pinch them.

Youngjae glared at him in response, “Shut up,” he grunted and unclasped his water bottle then swallowed a few clunks visibly.

Fortunatly for Daehyun, Youngjae’s mom seemed to be more than happy to provide him with information about the young fluffy Youngjae. “When he was younger he was a little chubby and round, all the relatives loved him,” she said cheerily despite being cast a miserable look from her teenage son.

Youngjae rolled his eyes at his mother’s words and snorted: “Actually they just loved the entertainment the topic of my belly fat brought to the dining table.”

“Belly fat? Really?” Daehyun reached for the hem of Youngjae’s t-shirt and lifted it up. However, before he could register anything more than pale skin and a cute belly button a hand smacked at his, causing him to hiss and pull it back.

“Jung Daehyun!” Youngjae growled at him as he pulled down his t-shirt. “Mind your actions, please.”

“I just wanted to check,” Daehyun pouted. “No need to get so worked up over it,” he mumbled more to himself, but the other must have caught it because another intensive glare was sent his way.

“Youngjae-ah, you should be more gentle towards Daehyunnie,” his mother said, after having witnessed the scene from where she sat. Daehyun contained himself from sticking out his tongue at the other. Infiltration successful indeed, he beamed. “By the way, have you fixed the lamp in bathroom yet?” she asked as she looked at her son.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Youngjae said and started to walk towards the dining table. “I came down to grab a chair.” He lifted one of the chairs and carried it with him as he turned to leave the kitchen. However, not before he grabbed Daehyun round the arm with his other hand to pull Daehyun along with him. “Who knows what you two will talk about when I’m not around,” he muttered under his breath.

Daehyun smiled and did not protest when he was being tugged away.

Youngjae dropped Daehyun’s arm when they reached the bathroom, he entered the small space rather clumsily with the chair in his hands and soundly placed it under the ceiling lamp. Daehyun leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest as he watched his boyfriend with an amused expression on his face.

Youngjae climbed up on the chair with a light bulb he had just taken out from the cabinet and reached to unscrew the broken one. As Youngjae stretched and worked to change the light bulb his shirt rode up quite significantly and exposed a fair amount of bare skin. Since Youngjae was facing him, Daehyun could now freely examine what he had wanted to look at earlier. So he did. And quite shamelessly so.

“Daehyun-shi,” Youngjae said, overly polite as he twisted the new bulb into place. “I know what you are looking at, stop it or I’ll throw anything I can get my hands on at you to wipe that grin off your face.”

The addressed boy snickered and straightened his posture, “What’s the big deal?” he asked as he entered the bathroom and walked closer to Youngjae on the chair. “Your belly bothers you that much?”

Youngjae sighed and furrowed his brows, “People can be rather harsh with their comments sometimes, even without meaning to. I guess it bothered me because I was young and because the words came from my relatives,” he shook his head lightly as if to get the thought out of it. “Aish, whatever…”

Despite the other’s effort to sound nonchalant, Daehyun could tell that the subject affected Youngjae far more than he would like it to.

“Well, I like your belly,” Daehyun said and stepped a little bit closer.

Youngjae who stood a few feet taller looked down at Daehyun, “Cheesy bastard,” he grunted, but Daehyun could see the twitch at the corners of his mouth.

He glanced around quickly before he turned back to Youngjae and decided not to contain the urge that suddenly washed over him. So he wrapped an arm around Youngjae, steadying the other just in case and pressed his mouth against Youngjae’s exposed skin.

A surprised yelp was heard from above him, “D-Daehyun!?”

But Daehyun lingered and smiled tenderly against the soft flesh traced by his lips.

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“Daehyunnie!” The addressed boy groaned and shut his eyes for a second. Sometimes even with a face like Kim Himchan, could become too much for human eyes to handle. Especially if it was 8 o clock in the morning and school had barely started.

“Yes, hyung,” Daehyun muttered tiredly as he slumped down by his desk.

Himchan’s hands rested on Daehyun’s desk and he bent forward slightly for the younger to catch his serious expression. “I just helped you plan your otherwise amazingly dull Thursday evening.”

Daehyun looked at his raven haired senior questioningly, “Thursday is a weekday of course it’s dull,” he retorted with an arched eyebrow. But then he remembered that he and Youngjae were supposed to check out the grand opening of the electronic mall in Myeongdong. Youngjae had in excitement listed all the new stuff and technology that could possibly be there on Thursday evening when the doors opened for the public and asked Daehyun to come with him. Daehyun had of course agreed, not only because his ears had caught up the words ‘free food’ but also because, despite the term ‘dating’…they never really went out. “Actually, I think I’m-“

“Jung Daehyun,” the older interjected, “I’m making my debut on Thursday on MTV Korea and you…” he said in a low tone as he pointed threateningly at Daehyun, “better be there.”

“Debut?” Daehyun said bewildered, “Already?”

“Yeah,” Himchan grinned, “Just as an MC though.”

Daehyun smiled genuinely at his friend, “Congratulations hyung!” he stood up to give the other a quick hug.

He felt a few pats on his back and drew back, “Thanks,” Himchan said, and Daehyun noted that the other’s usually confident demeanor was partially replaced by an anxious look. “It might be odd coming from me, but I’m kind of freaking out right now,” Himchan admitted sheepishly, “I want you to come with me Daehyunnie, as moral support.”

Seeing the look in his friend’s eyes, Daehyun couldn’t bear himself to say no. But at the same time, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to say no to Youngjae either. Hesitation must have been apparent on his face, for Himchan suddenly looked at him pleadingly, “Please, I’m already being ditched by Yongguk. Whatever you have planned can’t you do it any other day?”

Daehyun ran an uncertain hand through his hair and scratched the back of his head, “Hyung, I-“ the device in his pocket vibrated and Daehyun looked down to see the screen of his phone glowing through the fabric of his uniform.

He discreetly pulled his phone out and read the message under the table.

It’s fine. Go with him, debut is important.

Daehyun wanted nothing more than to turn around, to look at the boy by the window, to cast him a thankful yet apologetic smile and to hope that his insides wouldn’t make a sudden flip as he did all the above. But he couldn’t.

Not when everyone was around.

So he could only stare at Youngjae’s name on the screen and smile softly.

“So can you?” Himchan’s raspy voice effectively pulled Daehyun’s attention from the screen.

Daehyun looked up and nodded at the older, “Yeah, I’ll go with you.”

“Aigoo, Daehyunnie!” Himchan burst for everyone to hear, “Thank you! I could kiss you right now, but kissing a guy would make me a total weirdo, wouldn’t it?” He smiled broadly and exclaimed his thanks yet again to a still Jung Daehyun before he disappeared to his own classroom before the school bell rang.

Daehyun stared blankly in front of him, but then turned his head slightly to out of the corner of his eye catch the sight of Youngjae.

Down the pit of his stomach a knot was being tightened, so hard that it was almost painful. With great effort and force Daehyun determinedly pushed the odd feeling away and shifted his gaze to the front again.

‘A guy kissing another guy…is it really that abnormal?’

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After countless of encouraging smiles towards the nervous yet professional Kim Himchan and round after round of polite applauses Daehyun was starting to grow tired of it all. He had never been to one before, but he would have never guessed that a recording could be this boring. They were 2 hours into the process and Daehyun figured that they were nowhere near done. Artists, mainly rookie idols performed the same song about two or three times, got off the stage only to come back on later in different outfits.  Daehyun groaned inwardly every time a familiar beat started to play on the speakers. He sighed heavily, leaned back against the wall and tried to keep his eyes opened.

Himchan was in the middle of telling a joke to the camera when Daehyun decided to take out his phone. He lifted his eyes occasionally in case his hyung would be looking at him as he tried to type in a message. However, the autocorrect kept on twisting his words so eventually he grew annoyed and erased the whole thing. Instead he quickly typed in the familiar number and pressed the phone to his ear, scooting slightly to one side to make sure that he wouldn’t appear on the big screen.

“Hello?” the end connected after a few rings and Daehyun smiled softly at the sound of the other.

“What are you doing?” he asked, trying to block out the surrounding noise as he talked into the device.

“I’m eating cheesecake.”

“Really?” Daehyun groaned, “Yah, Yoo Youngjae, how can you do that without me. Aish...”

Youngjae chuckled on the other line, “No, not really. I just said it because I know you want to.”

Daehyun could hear the teasing tone in the other’s voice and grimaced, “Bastard,” he muttered, but he doubt Youngjae could hear it.

“I’m on my way to Myeongdong,” Youngjae said and Daehyun could now make out the subway melody in the background.

“I wish I could go with you,” he mumbled and looked up just when a group of five tiny girls entered the stage.

“An opening is not that special, they’ll only give out snacks, and special offers on some stuff so don’t worry, you are not missing much.”

Daehyun eyes closed as he sighed into the phone, “Youngjae-babo, you are completely missing the point here…” he drove a hand through his hair, “What I meant was…I want to see you.”

The other line fell silent for a moment, Daehyun even started to wonder if Youngjae had hung up on him but then he could hear a distant, “Oh.”

“Yah, don’t you ‘oh’ me. You complain that I’m too cheesy, but if you weren’t so stupid I wouldn’t have to spell out every little thing for you.” Even though he was frustrated, his tone still had a certain hint of affection in it.

He wondered if the other could tell…

Another sigh passed Daehyun’s lips, “Youngjae-ah, can I come by afterwards?”

‘How hard have I fallen, to want to see you this much?’

“Won’t it be late then? Pre-recording usually takes hours,” Youngjae’s smooth voice carried through the device in his hands.

If Youngjae weren’t like this…this incredibly dumb for someone so academically smart, Daehyun wondered if things would be easier then.

If Youngjae weren’t like this… if he once in a while could contain himself from pointing out the freaking obvious, things would with no doubt be easier for Daehyun

If Youngjae weren’t like this…well, he wouldn’t be Yoo Youngjae.

‘Since this is you, I’ll deal with it.’

 “I think it will end sometime round 11. Will still be up by then?”

“Yeah, I think so. But my parents will be sleeping.” It was as if he was used to it; to constantly be on the edge, waiting…to call out the shots and wait for the other’s response. And he was even…even prepared for his heart to drop if things were to go astray. “But give me a call when you come by, I’ll go down and open the door for you.”

A smile formed on his lips, one that for a brief moment made him feel silly. “Then I’ll see you later,” he said softly.

“Oh, see you.” Silence hung through the line for a couple of minutes before Daehyun heard the other boy clear his throat, “S-Should I hang up now?”

Daehyun couldn’t help but laugh lightly at Youngjae, “Yes, bye.”

“Bye,” Youngjae said, and then came the tone that indicated the call has ended.

Unusually happy for someone being stuck inside a studio for hours, Daehyun proceeded to watch the recording and to support his friend.

Though, he did for the entire time wish for it to end quickly.

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Daehyun waited and breathed in the cold air of the night. A silent curse rolled off his tongue every now and then, mostly because Youngjae was taking an eternity to open the door.

Although relieved, the scowl on his face did not falter when the he saw the lamp in the hall lit up through the window.

Out of impatience, Daehyun started to pull at the door knob as soon as he heard the lock being turned from the inside. “What took you so long?” he whispered harshly at the boy before him. But Youngjae only stood there, clad in a t-shirt and shorts, and stared at him oddly with widened doe-eyes. “There’s something on my face?” he brought a hand up to his cheek and for a moment forgot that he was supposed to be angry at the other.

Youngjae shook his head.

“Then why are you looking at me like that?” He then grinned widely, “Missed me?” he had meant to tease the other and therefore didn’t in any sense expect the answer that followed…

“I did,” it was short and simple, yet it made Daehyun’s mind turn in circles.

‘How can you say that so calm and collected when I’m about to turn beyond insane because of you?’

“Damn you,” he whispered and leaped forward, capturing the other’s lips softly between his.

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Daehyun lay along the short side of the bed while Youngjae sat down next to him.

“Won’t your parents say anything, for being out this late?” Youngjae his head turned slightly to look at Daehyun.

Daehyun brought himself up as his elbows dug into the mattress, “I called hyung and said that I’d be staying at your place,” their eyes locked and once again, and Daehyun waited.

Youngjae blinked twice, startled. “You are?”

Daehyun averted his gaze and bit down on his lip, “Well…I’m not staying unless you want me to, so…” his eyes shifted back to Youngjae, looking at the other expectantly.

It took a moment, a long moment, almost an eternity for Youngjae to finally look up at him. Daehyun scratched the back of his head; “I can always leave, you know…” he said and started to nibble on his bottom lip.

The endless stare from the other was slowly shattering every ounce of hope Daehyun held prior to the moment.

But then a very soft, barely audible: “Stay,” wandered along the walls of the tiny room.

And Daehyun smiled.

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Youngjae dug around in his wardrobe and pulled out a set of change for Daehyun and then went to fetch an extra blanket and pillow from the storage downstairs.

Daehyun changed his clothes and lay down on the bed, buried himself in sheets that smelled of Youngjae. He was lying on his side when the door opened and Youngjae appeared with a blanket and pillow in one arm, while on the other hung his jacket. He then noted that Youngjae was carrying his shoes in his hands. He must have looked confused because Youngjae suddenly explained: “Just in case mom and dad sees them and starts to wonder why you’re here.”

“Oh.”

Youngjae handed him the blanket and pillow, however, Daehyun didn’t move and just lay still on the bed. Eventually Youngjae simply gave up and went to switch off the lights and then returned to start spreading the blanket on the floor

“What do you think you are doing?” Daehyun grumbled when he caught the movement.

“What does it look like?” Youngjae responded. “I’m going to sleep.”

Daehyun scooted back and closer to the wall, and then patted on the space next to him, “Come here,” he whispered into the dark. He couldn’t see the look on the Youngjae’s face but he did eventually hear a defeated sigh. It was faint and short, but enough to prepare Daehyun for the ruffle of blankets and the additional weight on the mattress. Immediately his arm went round to seclude the source of warmth that had just lain down next to him.

He smiled to himself when he felt Youngjae shifting closer to him. “Well, aren’t you obedient today,” he grinned and pressed his lips to the other’s shoulder.

“Don’t get used to it.” Daehyun lifted his gaze and stared at Youngjae’s side-profile. The words were right, Daehyun thought. But something in Youngjae’s tone was not…

“Are you disappointed that I went with Himchan hyung?” he asked, thinking that it might be what was bothering the other.

“No,” Youngjae answered, eyes locked on the ceiling. “On the contrary, maybe it was a good thing that you didn’t come with me.”

There it was again…that tone…

“Something’s wrong?” Daehyun asked warily.

Youngjae turned his head to look at Daehyun and tried to give him a reassuring smile. Tried. “No, I’m just tired,” he said and turned back to face the ceiling.

As an attempt to lighten the air round them, Daehyun suddenly said: “Hey, want to make a deal?” he smiled softly at Youngjae’s questioning eyes. “If you let me keep my hand…” Daehyun sneaked his hand under Youngjae’s t-shirt and placed on his soft yet smooth belly, “…here. I’ll promise not to kick you out of the bed and not to hog the blankets. Does that sound fair to you?”

In another occasion, another time Daehyun would have been thrilled, or more than thrilled to hear Youngjae say: “Fair enough,” and give in to him so easily. However, not tonight.

“Usually,” Daehyun started and caressed the soft skin under his touch. “Usually, something like this would earn me a kick or a smack,” he said almost distantly, still he kept his hand in place.

Youngjae smiled faintly, “Yeah, I’m weird and violent, aren’t I?” He sighed audibly and then added, “So why do you put up with me? Why are you with me, Daehyun?” the grave tone made Daehyun swallow a non-existing lump down his throat.

Haven’t they gone through this before? Hasn’t Daehyun made it clear that he liked the other to the point that he was almost driven insane? If words had not expressed that, then shouldn’t his actions have been more than enough?

Frustration washed over him…was it always going to be like this?

“Because I want you, and only you,” Daehyun answered simply.

Daehyun could see Youngjae’s eyes fall shut at his words, but they opened seconds later as he said, “Don’t say things like that.”

“Why?” Daehyun retorted and tightened his hold round the other. “Why can’t I say it if I mean it?”

“It will make things difficult,” Youngjae said softly.

“You are making things difficult,” he grumbled and let his teeth scratch over the Youngjae’s clad shoulder.

Silence fell over the room, which only made things unbearable. Because somewhere in the back of Daehyun’s mind, he was starting to think about where they stood…

When you are climbing up a hill, you’ll climb and climb always with that one thought in mind; to reach to top. But when you have reach it, when you’re standing on the very top and gazing down at world, you suddenly realize that the only way out…is down.

So where were they, Jung Daehyun and Yoo Youngjae? Stalled somewhere in the middle or at the very top looking down at their only falling path?

Daehyun closed his eyes and shook his head slightly as he pressed himself closer to Youngjae.

“Daehyun-ah.”

His eyes fluttered open at the other’s breathy call, “What do you think you will be doing 10 years from now?”

The question caught the asked boy by surprise. He hadn’t expected the question. At all. “I-I don’t know,” he started to stumble over his own words. “Working I guess, you know live normally,” he said and suddenly turned wary.

Youngjae turned to look at Daehyun straight in the eyes. His stomach tightened painfully.

‘Something is not right…’

“You do know, right?” the hollow tone of Youngjae’s voice made Daehyun rise up slightly and support his weight on the elbow that pressed into the bed. He looked down at Youngjae and felt himself begin to stiffen. Sadness just flashed before the eyes below him. “’Normal’ means that you’ll be happily married; you’ll have a beautiful wife, a kid or two, a warm family in a cozy home and a steady job. ‘Normal’…doesn’t include this.”

Daehyun swallowed thickly as his heart pounded heavily against his chest, “Did something happen? Why are you suddenly bringing up wife and kids? Why are you bringing up the future?” he swallowed another lump down his throat, “What happened, Youngjae?” he asked gently, laced with a thin layer of anxiety, afraid to kept in the darkness of whatever that made the boy before him like this.

Youngjae shook his head ever so slightly, “Nothing,” the words came out as a mere whisper. Then he closed his eyes and turned his head to the side.

And…

Daehyun’s heart dropped.

Some people kept on running around in circles, desperately searching for a certain something or someone…only to realize that it was hiding from them.

His hand travelled from the Youngjae’s stomach up to his chin, he then gently made Youngjae turn his head to look at him. “Don’t do this to me,” he said, looking at the person who had come to matter all too much to him in pure anxiety. “Don’t shut me out, let me see you. At this point, I can drop everything to ask you to let me in. So please, tell me.”

 Youngjae’s tongue darted out to moisten the dry lips and his eyes grew more and more distant as the seconds went by. “Tomorrow, everyone will know,” he whispered brokenly, his voice barely carried by the darkness of the night.

“Know what?” Daehyun asked confused, and instantly thought of every option that could possibly suffice as an answer.

“I’m scared. I wouldn’t be if this was only about me…but it’s not…” Youngjae looked away and blinked furiously and even though Daehyun couldn’t clearly see them, he knew that the other was blinking away tears that threatened to fall.

An iron grip found its way round Daehyun’s lungs and tightened around it, making him unable utter another word.

“I met Miyoung at the mall, Miyoung in our class,” Youngjae said and looked straight at Daehyun. “She was with her friend from another school, I think. The weird thing was that the girl said that she recognized me.It’s funny how no one ever pays any attention to me and suddenly there this one person who recognizes me as…” Youngjae paused and took a deep breath, “as the boy who kissed another boy on the street.” Youngjae swallowed visibly and continued, “You know, that time outside the library…” he let a hollow and silent laugh escape his mouth. “Miyoung even came to me and asked who the boy I kissed was. Odd isn’t it? She never said a word to me before, but today…well, people like to stir things up, don’t they? You know, the kind of ‘If I do this, if I say that, what will the reaction be’ type of game…but…” Youngjae stopped and let the words gradually fade into darkness of the room.

“Youngjae-ah…” Daehyun breathed. His thumb then ran across the other’s cheek ever so gently.

 Youngjae leaned into the touch and the sadness when he spoke pierced right through Daehyun’s chest, “So tomorrow, everyone will know.”

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Thank you for bearing with me and this story!

Love you!

<3

Ivy