Title (5/5)
I think your title is nice. It’s short and simple yet it has this strange feeling to it. It made me wonder what these fifteen moments are about. And that’s a good thing. Good job.

Description (4/5)
The description is pretty. It gives us a hint of what the story might be about and it’s written very nicely. It’s short but it says enough. And that little moment you gave us of their past is nice because you gave us an idea of what they used to be and what they lost.

Plot (27/30)
Since it’s a short story (just fifteen moments, to be exact), there really isn’t much of a plot. It’s all about yearning and hurting and all that jazz, which is a bit common nowadays. However, how you delivered the story was beautiful. I like the writing style; it’s simple, not too detailed but you give us enough to picture the scenes, the moments. There are stories using this writing style and sometimes they fail miserably but you rocked it. It’s refreshing, really. Also, the ending made me want to cry. I really wanted them to have a happy ending but happy endings are overrated, are they not? Good job!

Originality (8/10)
Like above said, plots like these have been used but you used it wonderfully.

Grammar and spelling (18/20)
Your grammar is okay; simple and understandable, easy to read. However, there is one spelling mistake I spotted but I’m sure this was just a typo. Hint: it’s in moment twelve. Be careful next time. Even if it’s just one mistake, you have to make sure you re-read your story over and over to make sure there are no typos.

Characterization (9/10)
The characterization is okay. And it should have been tough considering the length of your story yet you made me understand that Luhan is very understanding and selfless. Even though he is hurting and wishing for Sehun to come back, he did not bother Sehun when he saw him. And I’m confused with Sehun. Seems to me like he was a wonderful lover, as how Luhan’s memories portrayed him, but he must have seen Luhan by the lamp post, right? Why such a cold reaction? Either way, making the readers wonder such things is a good thing, so good job.

Feeling (10/10)
The feeling of the story is nice. It’s consistently cold and lonely. With the writing style, I’ve been captured. You made me feel hopeful as well when Sehun appeared but I was really sad when he merely brushed by Luhan. I think your writing style adds up to this. There are many lines in the story that make it seem so sad.
Graphic (10/10)
The graphic is really pretty. It looks lonely and dramatic yet simple and it suits your story really well.

Your Marks: 91/100
 

Review by:

military_precision

Wow, good job.

I think I might be too nice, but I can't help it, the story was real' pretty.

Keep up the good work!

-Maknae