In The Next Life
Until I Die
"Hi, Jessi..."
She didn't say anything. We spent a while just staring at each other.
I took initiative stepping in and reach the doorknob closing the door, blocking the cold wind kept blowing from outside onto her figure.
I took another step carefully, closing the distance between us.
She didn't move.
Another step closer and another one until my fingers could reach her insanely beautiful face, wipe the tears away.
And the final small step so I can put her into my embrace.
"Don't just stand here, or you're gonna catch a cold." I whispered into her ear, breathing in the scent of her shampoo to my nose.
Time seems to stop, the moment's too overwhelming for both of us to notice her small towel quietly falls to the floor.
"You're here. Am I dreaming?" Her voice is low, it sounds vulnerable that aches my heart.
"No, you're not." I soothe her wet hair with my fingers.
"I missed you so much. Don't leave me again." She circled her arms around my waist, tightly.
I just smiled happily.
*****
I sip my coffee while my eyes wandering around the kitchen, the house. What could i expect after leaving for just a year. The furnitures, dining table set, kitchen stuff, carpet, everything is still the same as I last arranged them.
I hear footsteps coming from the stairs. She walks down with a sky blue top in a pink cardigan and a casual black pants, smiling shyly. Just when she enters the kitchen for I could see clearly, i know she was blowing dry her beautiful long light brown hair. She looks thinner but still maintain her usual lovely face. I smile back bitterly thinking it's all because of me. I have no idea how or why we've become awkward right now.
"Jessi, how are you?" I decided to break the silence again. "How have you been doing?"
"I'm good."
"This house is pretty clean. Did you do the house work alone?"
"Yeah.."
I hold her hands without afraid. I'm not afraid anymore, to hold her, hug her, and kiss her whenever, however i want to. From now on, I don't have to think much of rejection anymore.
"Would you like to have someone joining you... someone that is always willing to do it together with you, forever?"
It's a new proposal from me to the same person. Although we never really divorced, but I wanted to start anew again with her.
She looks and tries to read me in the eye before her lips forming the most beautiful smile.
"I'd love to."
***
We spent the whole afternoon chatting about my house in Diamond Bar, about Taeyeon found me, about the letter, about her new work, about our families and everything. She cooked me dinner later that night, the very first dinner she made for me, although it tasted weird but I finished it in just minutes with a wide smile.
"So how did it start?" I asked about the first time she started to feel something for me.
"I don't know, it was something I couldn't control. I started to worry about you, miss you, and get jealous all of a sudden."
"Really? You got jealous? When?"
"You were drunk that night. It was the first time I saw you like that. Someone took you home, and she said she was a close friend of yours."
I blink my eyes couple of times trying to recall my memories. It was only that time I ever got drunk, but I didn't remember what really happened, all I remember how Jessica coldly ignored me the other day. I was so frightened that I even swore to myself it would be the last time consuming alcohol in my life.
"Her name was Yoona, wasn't it? A hot girl for sure..." She scoffed. The tint of jealousy tone somehow makes me happy, but it also makes me want to slap myself for didn't realize it earlier. I should have known her better.
"Yoona? What did she do?" I asked.
"You dozed off already, we carried you to the couch. I went to kitchen preparing a drink for her but when I got back, i saw she kissed you."
"What?! You.... you mean Yoona kissed me? Kissed where?" I jumped from my seat hearing this unbelievable thing.
"Your forehead." She said while bitting her lips. "I couldn't sleep that night, i was mad. It was when I knew i was so jealous."
"Then why didn't you ask me?" I reached her both hands and held tightly. "Yoona was just a dongsaeng, you know."
"Really?"
"She is also known as a prankster, and is married to a guy named Lee Min Ho."
"You mean.."
"Yes, she's 100% straight." I smiled.
*****
"Jessi, is my room still available?"
"It is now a study room."
"Whose study room?"
"Mine."
"Where do I sleep then?"
"Where do you want to?"
"Umm, doesn't a married couple sleep together in a room?"
"Are you asking me sleeping with you?"
"Can we?"
"....."
"Hey, you're blushing."
"No, i'm not. you pabo!"
"It's my first time seeing you this cute Jessi, i should take a picture you know."
"No, you shouldn't."
"Wae...?"
"I'm not cute, so cut it off."
"My Jessi kyopta...."
"You sleep in the living room."
"No..."
*****
She is sitting awkward on the bed. I step out from bathroom to know my wife is so much cuter than i thought before. I know she is nervous, and I'm nervous too. This is our first night after married for 3 years.
"I have something for you Jessi." I smile while looking for my purse and find a small round box I've been keeping for years. "Here, open it."
She takes the box and looking at me with questions, but then she gives a surprise expression after the box opened. She takes out something looks like a bracelet, made by silver with 3 white pearls in middle.
"So beautiful. It's a bracelet...?"
"An anklet." I said. I take the silver anklet from her hand and kneel down putting it on her right ankle.
"They say if I put on an anklet to the one I love, we'll meet and be together again in the next life. I want to meet you again in the next life Jessi." I give a hopeful look. "It doesn't matter if one of us would be born as a boy whatever, i just want to be with you again."
She stares at me with a look that I couldn't understand. Did I startle her?
"Unless you don't want to..."
"I don't, Tiff."
"Huh? Don't what?"
"I don't want it if one of us to be reborn as a boy. I like you for what you are, I love you for who you are. I want it changes nothing." She cups my face with her hand.
"This feeling is what matters most." She continued whisper when our faces just inches away.
She then presses our foreheads together with her eyes closed before locking our lips together. I close my eyes, starting to tilt my head enjoying our first kiss, we pour so much love to each other, we are so much in love with each other. She is right, this feeling is what matters most. Whatever people see we are and how they would judge, this feeling is pure.
"Hey, you're crying." She chuckles while wiping my tears with her fingers.
"I'm just too happy."
"Yea I can see that, you look tired too."
"I haven't slept all day, cause I was too excited to see you."
"Pabo...."
"Jessi, i just wanted to hold your hand like this. Let's sleep."
"Hmmm.." She nodded before we lie on the bed, hands intertwined and slumber in sweetest dreamland with smiles.
TBC
Comments