"Taeyeon, why did she leave?" I can't take my eyes off the divorce paper in my living room, feeling that I have no strength to stand anymore and tears couldn't stop coming out.

"Sica-ah..." She looks at me in concern.

"I hurt her too much didn't I? It is me the one who should leave... not her..." My voice is shaking and even my whole body. "It should be me..."

"Sica-ah... calm down..."

"Mom, can I sleep over at unnie's place tonight? I dont have class tomorrow."

"But your unnie has work tomorrow, don't bother her SooJung."

"She won't care, i'm just an invisible object to her."

"Watch your words SooJung, don't be rude to your own unnie!"

"Okay, okay... So? am I allowed? I promise I'll be home in the morning."

"SooJung, didn't I say not to bother..."

"Just let her be Mom, she can just wear my clothes." I turned my head from the window looking at my mother. We're in our way getting home, my father's driving and my mother's on passenger seat, Krystal and I are on back seats.

"Are you sure? You look really busy nowadays and she goes to your place quite often lately."

"As long as she cooks breakfast in the morning, it's fine Dad." I just grinned earning a piercing glare from my beloved sister.

"Does she hate me now?"

"What are you talking about? Of course no. Never ever in her life she would hate you."

"I hated her."

"It would be weird if you didn't."

"What would you think of her if you were me Taeyeon?"

"I don't know Sica-ah. I guess I would be just like you. You had a boyfriend you loved so much, your life was perfect. Then all of a sudden you were told to marry a complete stranger, not to mention that it was a girl. You didn't have any other choice."

True. I live in a 21st century and I couldn't even choose the one I love to marry with. What a pity, and i can only scoff at my own unfortunate fate.

"You would think, there's no way you would marry a person you haven't even met yet, then why would she? You thought she was just obsessed to make you hers, it was not love because if she truly loved you then she wouldn't force you doing certain things you don't do. You were scared Sica-ah... heck I would be too. Turned out that she was so nice, she was complete opposite than you had thought about her before. But still you didn't believe her love no matter how much she tried to show you. I don't know why Sica."

"You do remember I had a boyfriend before. Guess what Taeyeon, he went depression, what would you do if you were me? I broke up with him just like that and I couldn't do anything, the least I could do for him is forbid myself falling in love with Tiffany."

"I understand Sica."

I sat down on the couch in the living room. Today's a tiring day but my sister doesn't seem to look exhausted like I do right now.

"You're freaking 26 unnie, but your body says you're already 62." She showed an annoying smirk.

"If mocking me is all you can do, you better leave now. Mom and Dad just left, I believe their car hasn't gone far." I said with eyes closed, too tired to look at her.

"Don't be so cruel unnie, you should be thankful I'm willing to be here tonight."

"And why is that?"

She paused quite a while before giving a long sigh. I opened my eyes and found her looking worried at me.

"I don't know, maybe... just maybe... you would like to have a drinking mate and..."

"Tomorrow's monday, you forgot I have work Krystal Jung SooJung." I scoffed.

"... you'll need someone who can call a day off for you tomorrow?"

I actually know why she suddenly wanted to stay here with me tonight, just wondering am i really that obvious? I smiled at my own carelessness. This is the results for trying to live perfectly fine too much when I am not as such in other people's eyes.

"Have you ever thought that if you didn't choose Tiffany in the first place, she would still help your father anyway?"

"I guess I just hated her too much to even think about that Taeyeon."

"But then she happened to break the walls in your heart."

"Still, there were lots of things I feared. Living in a country that doesn't really tolerate homouality isn't easy. You may lose your friends and even your job. Life's probably much easier if I don't love her. It'll lessen hurt if things got worse. And it all happened to me now Taeyeon. Every single day I convinced myself that I don't love her, it was the only way i feel safe. I really hope Tiffany will understand."

"She does Sica, that's why she decided to let you go."

"It's what i had expected, isn't it?" i whispered. "i should've seen it coming right? Then why it still hurts so bad Taeyeon?"

"Silly... cause you've fallen deeply in love with her..."

I close my eyes again thinking it's been a year now and I still couldn't forget that winter where Tiffany left in so much pain without a word, and the question that has never been answered...

"Have you ever been happy... with me?"

A lot of things happened, what did she expect me to say? I couldn't answer yes when it was obviously no. It was all my fault. Because I was stupid. In the end, she never force my love, she never did, it was me who forced myself not to love her. And that's why I was never happy...

My breath started become shallow, yet again i feel like crying a river. I deserve it, don't I?

"Unnie... Just let it out, you've been holding it too long." Krystal slowly taking me into her arms.

And here, finally I'm sobbing like a baby.

"I miss her so much Krystal... So much..."

"Shhhh...." She pats my back with her fingers hoping the pain would ease a little. But it doesn't help at all.

"I love her..." I cried harder.

***

I wake up on the couch with a thick blanket covered. It's morning. Lazily I take my cellphone, it shows 7:38 AM. I turn my head left and right looking for Krystal. I cried a lot last night until I fell asleep, I don't know where my sister slept after then. It's still early but she is nowhere to be seen. And then my eyes locked to a small note stuck on the table.

I promised going home early this morning and will come back to check on you soon.

Don't worry, i made your breakfast.

After last night, i hope you feel better. Just cheer up, will you?

And don't forget to thank me someday, that black givenchy long dress in your closet will do.

PS. I called your manager Sooyoung unnie, you won't be at your office today.

I just smile thinking my 20 years old sister has grown up now.

***

I turn off the shower and get out of the bathroom quickly.

"I'm coming." I called out to whoever it is ringing my bell for the second time.

"Ugh.. That brat must forgot her key again." I mumbled while changing. The bell rang again multiple times and i grab a towel rubbing my wet hair on my way downstairs. "She's so gonna get it from me..."

"I said I was coming Krystal... You are so impatient..." I lost of words after the door opened and realized it is not my sister.

She is standing there smiling..

"Hi... Jessi.."

TBC

Hello again my readers,

here's my new update and i hope you like it.

since some of you a bit confused, let me make it clear.

first chapter was Tiffany's POV and the rest were all Jessica's.

i apologize didn't state it in this story, hope you can figure it out yourself.

its not too difficult i guess.

enjoy.....