08 (Whoever/Donghae)

There’s this thing about Donghae that I don’t really know how to describe. I see it when he’s sitting on the couch across from me like now, smiling for no apparent reason and he looks so incredibly dopey, but he’s completely unaware of it. I see it when he’s doing menial tasks like sweeping, but he doesn’t look the least bit bothered, just happy to be able to actually do things. I see it in the middle of the night when he’s sitting up in bed, crying his eyes out because he misses his mom or his dad or because it’s too much everything’s too much, clinging to me like if he lets go he’ll disappear.

He’s such an innocent person and that scares the hell out of me. I’m afraid his naivety is going to get him severely hurt one day and I’m not going to be there to help him and pick up the pieces. Donghae doesn’t understand that there are people in this world that aren’t as kind as he is, that people will hurt him for any and no reason at all. He doesn’t comprehend that the world is a cruel place. The thing is, though, I don’t want him to know. I want him to keep living in that little bubble he’s been placed in, so he can’t get hurt, so he can continue thinking that everything is great and everyone is beautiful. I want him to stay out of the real world for as long as possible, I want to deal with all the burdens so he can continue being a genuinely beautiful person untouched by the gross reality of the things he loves.

That’s another thing about him, he loves so much. He loves everyone he meets and doesn’t ever seem to run out of love to give. Donghae loves wholeheartedly; he will literally jump in front of bullet for anyone if need be. Once Donghae has incepted you into his circle of people he loves, you’re stuck there forever. Even if you hurt him to the point of no return, he will love you completely and wholly until the day he dies and I’m sure he’ll continue to in the afterlife. It’s a beautiful thing to watch, but it’s terrifying as well. Because if you give out all of that love, then there’s none left for yourself and I’m certain Donghae has reached that point. He won’t show it, but I know. I can see it in his eyes when he looks at himself or when he doesn’t do as well as he thought he’d do even if it was exceptional. He smiles, perfect white teeth all lined up in a straight row, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. I want to cry now, just thinking about it. Donghae doesn’t love himself, but he loves everyone else and that’s the saddest ing thing.

Everything about Donghae is beautiful and petrifying.

Sometimes, I wonder how I could be so lucky as to meet someone like Donghae. I don’t deserve him, but I don’t think anyone does. Donghae is the most pure person in existence. Donghae is an angel. I think that’s the thing about him, he’s too immaculate for this world. Too lovely, too perfect. I’m glad he chose to stay with me though. I don’t think I’d be able to live without those bright eyes greeting me every day. I know he only looks that way to keep me from worrying.

I wish he’d just have a break down, let go of all the pent up emotions inside of him. That way I could help him, hold him in my arms and let him know that everything’s okay, that he’s okay and I’m always going to be there for him.

That I love him, more than he could ever possibly love me back.

Kind of different, but I was like psychoanalyzing all of the boys and the thing I noticed about Donghae is that he really is the most pure and genuinely good person on the planet. I'd get more into it, but that would take awhile.

Also, as for who the narrator is, choose whoever you'd like! I personally think it's Hyukjae because he's a very nit-picky person about details like this, especially when it comes to Donghae.

I might write another one for Leeteuk, Kyuhyun and Hyukjae. Just because I found them to be rather intriguing. There's a je ne sais quoi about all of the members, but I'm lazy so.

As always, thanks for reading! Comment if you wish!

Love you, snowflakes! ♥