Finally, I'm back with a new chapter! Sorry for taking so long...

Before we jump into it though, here are the three meanings of the title of the previous chapter, "Caught":

1. Taeyeon was caught "hiding" on the rooftop by Fany

2. TaeNy are caught kissing on the rooftop by some members

The one that nobody guessed here. It's a very significant moment/gesture and is the most literal and at the same time, most symbolic interpretation of the title: 

"(...) a lone tear made its way down my cheek, until it stopped its road on the edge of the bridge, my chin, waiting to be either caught or fall freely into the deep.
I felt a single cold fingertip on my jaw. Tiffany always had bad circulation.But her cold touch felt strangely hot against my warm skin as she slid her finger along my jawline just to eventually wipe the droplet of tear away from my chin as it hung on its last lifeline, ready to take the jump."

3. Tiffany caught Taeyeon's teardrop

Since there wasn't anyone on this site who got all 3 correct, I decided to give a little reward for those who guessed at least 2 correctly. They recieved one clue/hint in a PM. (There was only one person on another site who guessed all 3 at the same time, they got 3 clues/hints in  their PM.)

Now, on to ch6!!

~~~

‘And it’s just that... I don’t know if I made the right decision... maybe...’ she sniffed, ‘maybe I should’ve given us more time.’

It’s been three days since she broke up with her boyfriend after almost two months of being together. Even though time ran by really fast with our busy lives, a lot of things could happen in two months and it seemed that Tiffany was greatly affected by this short-lived relationship.

The girls had a strange reaction when the two got together and seemed to look at me in concern which I soon figured out to be because of what happened between us before. After that incident on the rooftop, we explained to them one more time how it all was just out of affection, a spur of the moment thing that’d sometimes happen when we’re drunk; a thing that was not supposed to be taken so seriously. But apparently, they were still surprised by the fact that everything just went on as normal even when the two went official. Luckily, they got over their delusions quickly and stopped looking at me and Tiffany like we were some aliens from another planet. Life went on.

It was a major shock to me, actually, when Tiffany announced their break-up in the group chat a few days ago.

I could tell that she had a hard time in the last couple of days, but she never cried, not even when with some of the girls, we managed to talk to her about it for a bit. With our packed schedules and restless sleep one could’ve just assumed she was tired from the long working hours but to me, it was obvious that it was way beyond that.

Once we came back from dinner tonight though and entered the room, she immediately collapsed as if she was a ragdoll that their puppeteer suddenly dropped.

And now, I could only sit next to her on the floor and rub her back with my palm, trying to soothe her a bit. I didn’t really know what to say but I knew I hated seeing her like this.

She cried a little more. She hasn’t had the chance, or maybe she was just unable to cry it all out in the past few days. Perhaps, it only really sank in by now. Perhaps, the alcohol eased it out of her.

I sighed, feeling pain gather up in my chest at the sight of my desperately crying friend, knowing there was nothing I could do to help her.

I wanted to change into something more comfortable but I felt obligated not to leave her alone for even a second in this state.

To be honest, I didn’t know either if she made the right choice or not. They seemed to match well together. There were moments when I felt a bit odd about him, that’s true, but Fany’s boyfriends have always… ahh, nevermind. Point is, it looked like things were going well for them. But she said it was not what she expected and that something just did not feel right with him. I already told her that if she wasn’t sure about her feelings after almost two months, it probably is better that she let him go but she kept insisting that maybe, she should’ve tried harder to make it work.

I really don’t know.

I have had a similar experience before but, although the memories of our parting were still bitter, I never doubted for a moment that it was for the better. That we stopped when we did, I mean. I knew I wasn’t the right person for him… he was too good to me without me deserving it because I just couldn’t reciprocate. I honestly don’t know if Fany feels the same, all she keeps telling us is that something was off, that it wasn’t right for her to keep doing this when she could feel that he wasn’t the right one.

She says that, but I think that doesn’t make her feel any less guilty.

We already told her how we think it’s better that she listened to her heart and that she shouldn’t blame herself that things just didn’t work out the way she thought they would. Even her sister said the same. It’s not like she wanted to not fall for him enough, it’s not like she had control over something like that.

I felt like everything that needed to be said had been said before and that just made me all the more helpless now.

So I just kept rubbing her back in circles as if my hand had some kind of a supernatural power that’d heal her bleeding wounds.

She blew her nose loudly. She always did everything loudly. I let my lips curve into a faint smile at the thought.

She slowly ran out of tears. Her body was crouched.

‘I’m so tired...’ It was not a full sentence, the way she left it hanging. And I knew what she was thinking. I was tired, too. Exhausted. We all were.

‘Me too,’ I replied honestly. She was one of the only handful of people on this planet that I could truly open up to, and throughout the years, I got the feeling that it was much the same for her.

Surely, we did mention being tired a lot of times in interviews.

But what Tiffany and I were now talking about without really saying it, was not the kind of tired most interviewers, most fans, friends or family asked us about.

It had nothing to do with physical exhaustion.

We were constantly giving and giving and giving all we possibly could give and even though we had sources to recollect from, we were barely capable of doing so.

Like sponges being constantly squeezed out to be left delightfully light but uselessly dry, then plunged into the water for the refreshing wetness but a weight too heavy to be borne… no matter whether we were giving or getting, losing or collecting, emitting or absorbing…

It was tiring.

We were emotionally and mentally exhausted to the point where it was testing our limits every day.

And this, this is not something I easily let people see, even if they were close to me, even if I knew they’d understand.

Tiffany was different. Involuntarily, over the times, I had revealed this side of mine to her as we became closer than I ever did with my own, blood-related sister, and by now, there was no point in hiding it.

She had always been better at covering these things up though because she could even convince herself to a certain degree that she was alright. This made her all the harder to figure out. It’s not like she had much to hide either, but whatever she did conceal had surely had a weight. Time and time again, she proved that she had heavy burdens deep under the covers, like tiny droplets of lead beneath her skin…

Moments like this were rare so to witness them left all the stronger impact on me than with anyone else. Moments like these shook me up inside like nothing else...

Not to mention I was also drunk. “Not helping much with keeping my emotions at bay right now…”

It felt like none of us needed to say anything like “we’ll be fine” or “it will be okay.” We didn’t need those words and I doubt that either of us could’ve even said them convincingly enough at such a time. We just needed this silence for a bit, this nothing-to-do for a bit.

So we just sat like that for a few minutes. My gaze was lowered on her lap but I could see from the corner of my eyes that she wiped her eyes every now and then.

I could've made a joke about how my jeans were cutting off my circulation and my leg might just fall off if I sat like that for much longer, but it really didn't feel like the time just yet.

I kept tracing circles on her back absent-mindedly with my palm and she heaved in a big sigh.

I heard some noises from the kitchen.

It looked like Tiffany calmed down a bit. So I withdrew my hand from her back.

I noticed the little pile of used tissues that built up beside Fany... Her purse dropped carelessly to the edge of the bed...

Pinching between my fingertips, I picked some fluff off my jeans to throw it on the floor.

Then she sighed again.

She started sobbing and my hand immediately went back to trace those circles on her back.

“Maybe they did have some kind of a supernatural power,” I thought. “It’d be so good if they did right now…”

‘It’s better that I finished it off now, right?’ she choked. This wasn’t as much of a question as a need for confirmation.

‘It is, Tiffany, don’t worry... it’ll be fine.’ I finally said it anyway. And I wasn’t sure if I was lying or not.

She was staring at her knees for a while with a blank expression and empty eyes.

Then she looked up at me.

Her face wet from the tears, her nose red, eyes still brimmed with pure, translucent liquid… I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She looked up at me and my heart wanted to break. Her stare seemed almost pleading.

My hand slowly fell to the floor beside me.

I swallowed the salty tears from her lips as my warm mouth welcomed hers like an old friend.

It’s been a while.

A long while, I realized.

And I had to admit, I missed this. I missed this kind of closeness with her. Her warm lips on me, her nose brushing against mine… I missed this.

At the same time, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was thinking about him when she was kissing me now… Did it even matter? There were so many things I still didn’t know.

She seemed a bit weaker now than how I remembered. Softer, I’d say. But I think, given the current situation, it made sense. Still, she must’ve possessed some kind of a beastly instinct because fighting over the dominance of our tongues never seemed harder despite her fragile state.

She needed it, at least, I felt like she really needed it while she kissed me hungrily. She was parched and I just offered her a sip of water. She took in every droplet with all she had.

I felt fresh tears on her trembling lips and I let my tongue quickly sweep them away.

It seemed like we’d been kissing for the longest time yet, but I didn’t want to let go. “For her sake,” I told myself. “For her sake.”

But really, I missed this too much without even knowing.

Finally, she pulled away slowly.

Her head came to rest on my lap and I automatically started smoothing my fingers over her silky hair. She looked like a child, with her legs and arms pulled close to her body in a foetal position. ‘I love you.’ I knew how much she was missing her mom in that moment. ‘Really, I…’ she sighed and her face screwed up in pain as tears began to flow out of her eyes again. She never got to finish what she was about to say but really, it didn’t matter.

‘It’s okay Fany,’ I said as I felt my own tears choking me, ‘It’s okay.’

~~~

...

On a lighter note, happy birthday to our one and only KTY!! <3

Plus, this time around, I can promise a much quicker update but in exchange, I'd be happy to get some comments from you guys first! ^^

Thanks for reading~