Chapter Nineteen

Two weeks.

Gerald stared out the window in the kitchen. Old yeller lay by his feet. A cup of steaming coffee sat at his elbow.

He wandered his days like a ghost. Work kept him busy, so he poured all his energy into his designs, then tossed and turned in bed all night. He thought of Kim and his unborn baby.

The bell rang.

He shook his head at their familiar figures, but he pushed the emotion back and opened the door. “William Sr., Evelyn, what are you doing here?’

He assumed they came for one reason – to completely demolish him. He prepared for Evelyn’s tears and pleas for his unborn child. He expected William Sr., to punch him and curse him for hurting his baby girl.

Gerald straightened his spine and got ready to take it all. He was surprise they’d waited so long. He’’, maybe her parents’ rage would help. He needed to feel something – he’d even welcome pain. Eventually, he needed to contact her regarding the rest of the contract and see what they could pull off for image’s sake. He wondered what tale she’d spun to her parents about him.

“May we come in?” Evelyn asked.

“Of course.” He led them through to the kitchen. Old Yeller slunk behind the curtain, still not used to unfamiliar people. Gerald gave his head an absent pat before retrieving two mugs. “I have coffee or tea.”

“Coffee, please.” William Sr., said. Evelyn declined and they both sat. Gerald busied himself with retrieving cream and sugar and tried to ignore the knot in his gut.

“I’m assuming you’re here to talk about Kimmy,” he began.

William Sr., and Evelyn exchanged an odd look. “Yes. She’s been avoiding us, Gerald. We think something’s wrong. She doesn’t take our phone calls. We visited the store to make sure everything was okay, but she made excuses and shuffled us out.”

William Sr. nodded. “She hasn’t spoken to her brother or Lakam or twinkle, either. We decided to come over ourselves and talk to her. Tell us, Gerald. Are you two having problems? Where is she?”

The strange Twilight Zone feel of the scene made his head spin. Gerald looked at the older couple at his kitchen table and wondered what the hell he was going to say. Kim hadn’t told them about the baby. Or their breakup. Obviously, she didn’t know how to handle the situation.

Gerald smothered a groan of agony. No way was he confessing what had happened. They weren’t his family. They weren’t his responsibility. “Um, i think there may be something going on at the BookWorm. Poetry night.”

Evelyn clasped her fingers around his. The mingling of strength and gentleness made him want to weep. Her eyes filled with concern. “No more lies. You are part of the family now. Tell us the truth.”

Her words shook the lock on the box deep inside him. Family. She still believed he was part of the family. If only it was the truth and his wife hadn’t betrayed him. Gerald bowed his head. The words burst from his mouth before he gained control. “We broke up.”

Evelyn in her breath. He imagined William Sr glared at him with hatred. Gerald surrendered to the inevitable. It was time confess his sins. Every last one of them. The carefully planned ruse crumbled before him, and he realized he needed to take the leap himself. It was time her family knew the truth.

“What happened?” Evelyn asked tenderly.

Gerald released his hold and got up, pacing back and forth as he struggled for the words. “Kimmy told me she was having our baby.” He closed his eyes at the immediate joy sprung over their faces. “But I told her I didn’t want it.”

He lifted his chin and refused to turn away. The familiar ice wrapped around him protectively. “I warned her from the beginning that I can’t be a father.”

Maria looked at him with all the understanding in the world. “Gerald, why would you say such a thing? You will be a wonderful father. You are loving, and firm, and so much to give.”

He shook his head. “No, I don’t. You’re wrong.” The words about Kim’s betrayal hovered on his lips but he bit them back. He refused to break her parents’ heart by telling them of their loveless marriage. “There are other personal reasons, Evelyn. Things I can’t discuss. Things I may not be able to forgive.”

“You’re wrong, Gerald.” William Sr. said softly. “There is always room for forgiveness. If you love each other. I betrayed my children’s trust. My wife. I ran and turned my back on everyone I promised to cherish. But they forgive me, and we are whole again.”

Evelyn nodded. “Marriage is messy. People make mistakes. Sometimes we do terrible things. But the vows you spoke encompassed good times and bad.”

Gerald choked on the lump in his throat. “I don’t have staying power. I’m like my father. He’s on wife number four, and he only cares about himself. I can’t stand hurting an innocent child. There’s nothing worse than not being wanted.”

He braced himself for disdain and shock. Instead, Evelyn laughed and crossed the room to take him in her arms in a tight hug. “Oh, Gerald, how could you possibly say that? Don’t you remember how often you’d sneak into my house to steal cookies and keep an eye on your sister? You are a loving, whole man and nothing like your father. I see this every time you look at my daughter and your love for her shines from your eyes.”

William Sr. cleared his throat. “You are your own man, Gerald. You make your own mistakes and choices. Don’t go blaming anything on genes or hid behind excuses. You’re better than that.”

Evelyn cupped his face with her hands. Her eyes reflected love and humor and understanding. “A man like your father would never have given us such a generous gift. The money you and Kimberly gave us allowed us to take care of our children and keep our home.”

Gerald frowned. “Money?”

She shook her head. “I know Kimmy said it was  condition that I never mention it, but really, sweetheart, you must know how grateful we are.”

He played along, as his gut screamed the answer was the final piece to the puzzle of his wife. “Yes, of course, it was our pleasure. And you used it for...”

Evelyn tilted her head. “To save our home, of course. Now William and I can take care of the bills and the upkeep. We finally have a chance. And it’s all because of you.”

The puzzle lay before him in vibrant glory. Complete. The money he taunted her with had not gone to her business. She had lied and saved her family’s house. That was the reason she married him.

She’d tried to get the loan on her own for her cafe but was rejected. And now he realized why Kim had never told him the truth. How could she? He’d never offered her a safe place to confess her truth. She refused to let him pity her or her family, or even hold something over her head. She took care of her own, because anyone Kim loved she fought for till the death. She was the most loyal, forgiving, headstrong, passionate woman he’d ever met in his life, and he was madly in love with her.

The truth pulsed in every muscle in his body. She hadn’t lied about the baby. She hadn’t tried to get pregnant. Somehow, it had happened, but she had been stupid to trust him enough to tell him the truth and try to explain. She actually trusted him enough to think he’d be happy about the baby.

And he’d betrayed her. Choosing to believe the poisonous remarks of Cindy and his father over the woman who loved him.

For the first time since his epiphany, he wondered if Kim would ever forgive him.

He stared at Evelyn. This woman had given her daughter not only the strength to fight for what she believed in, but heart that gave love unconditionally. A heart he prayed would give second chances.

He thought of his father and his many women. He thought of how hard he had worked to avoid emotion so he wouldn’t be hurt the way his parents had hurt him. The way their relationship had hurt everyone around them.

The lightning bolt crashed through the room and shook him to the core.

He realized if he kept pursuing the same path, he’d be exactly like his father. Gerald crushed his fingers into a tight fist. By cultivating distance in his relationship to avoid pain, he created a man who was a shell. But those actions caused the woman he loved more heartache than anyone deserved. He was a gutless coward who hurt people because he only cared about himself.

Inside, the fear still clung to him with a stickiness he’d bred over the years. But for the first time, he wanted to try. He wanted to give her what she needed. He wanted to be a father, a husband, a friend. He wanted to protect her and care for her and live the rest of his days with her. Maybe if he gave her everything he had, everything he was, he’d be enough for her.

The final wall around his heart shook. Crumbled. And broke.

Somehow, Kimberly Sue Yap Chiu believed he was enough because she loved him.

His hands trembled as he clasped Evelyn’s fingers. “I have to talk to her.”

Evelyn nodded. “Go make it right.”

He straightened his spine and faced his father-in-law across the room. “I screwed up, too. I can only hope she forgive me. But I’m going to try.”

William Sr. smiled. “You will, son.”

Gerald glanced down at the ugly hound dog he’d begun to love. “I think I have an idea.”