“Ready or not, here I come!”

          Kim tore her hands away from her eyes and spun around. The woods shimmered with an eerie silence, but she sensed her friends close by. Without hesitation she ran, her sneakers pounding over the brush and sticks as she whizzed in and out of the large pine trees. Her ears pricked as she caught the tail end of a giggle.

          She headed toward the sound, but the echo threw her off and she can manage to surprise was a squirrel with a large nut. The cool shade lured her deeper. One quick check in Maja’s usual hiding spot only revealed a pile of leaves. Kim slowed her pace and almost decided to turn when she heard a voice.

          “A little old for hide and seek, aren’t you?”

          Kim pivoted on her sneaker and glared at her best friend’s older brother. “It’s fun.” She dismissed him with a haughty sniff. They used to be close, until he suddenly woke up one day and decided she wasn’t worth his time. He never talked to her, or snuck into her house for chocolate chip cookies, or told her jokes any longer. Seems only the older, silly, busty girls snagged his attention now. Who cared? She refused to follow him around like a little kid. “Anyway, you wouldn’t understand. You never want to hang with us. What are you doing out here alone?”

          He got up from the ground and walked toward her. Gerald Randolph Anderson, sixteen years old and a pain in the . He made fun of everything she did, and pretended he had the right to play God just because he is two years older.

          He stood on long, muscled legs. His hair curled around the top of his ears and over his forehead, and was an intriguing mix colors, from pale brown to gold. Like her Chex cereal, Kim thought. A combination of rice, wheat and corn. His face was all lean, angular curves, set off by a sulky lower lip that always intrigued her. Light brown eyes gleamed with intelligence and a hint of pain. Kim knew what pain felt like. That’s the only quality she related to. Gerald Anderson is a rich kid who kept himself and seemed to have no friends. She always wondered how his sister, Maja, had turned out so social.

          “You should be careful in the woods, brat. You could get lost.”

          “I know my way around better than you.”

          He gave a dismissive shrug. “Probably do. You should have been a boy.”

          Her temper spiked. She clenched her fist at her sides and tossed her ponytail. “And you should have been a girl. Everyone knows you don’t like to get your hands dirty, pretty boy.”

          Direct hit. He actually looked annoyed. “You should learn to act like a real girl.”

          “How so?”

          “Make-up. Looking pretty. Kissing boys.”

          She’d never spend her precious pennies on lip-gloss. It was hard enough to afford anything new, let alone make-up or perfume. Kim makes a gagging sound. “Gross.”

          “Bet you never kissed anyone before.”

          She heard the taunting tone in his voice. At fourteen, most of her girlfriends had already had their first kisses – Maja included – but the thought always made her stomach turn. She’d rather die than admit it to Gerald. “Yes, I have.”

          “Who?”

          “None of your beeswax. I’m outta here.”

          “I dare you.”

          Her sneaker stopped mid-flight. A sharp bird call cut through the air, and Kim felt like she’d hit a turning point. She stuck out her chin. “Dare me to what?”

          “Show me you can kiss.”

          Her stomach slid and her heartbeat thundered and her palms sweat. She made a face. “With you?”

          “I knew it.”

          “Why would I want to kiss you?” I hate you!”

          “Okay, forget it. I just wanted to see if you were a real girl. Now I know you’re not.”

          Her words sliced through her. All the doubt and uncertainty bubbled up inside and confirmed she is different. Why wasn’t she like Maja? Why she prefer painting and reading and animals to boys? Maybe Gerald was right and she was deficient. Maybe….

          He started to walk away.

          “Wait!”

          He stood with his back toward her for a few moments, as if considering her plea. Slowly, he turned around. “What?”

          She forced herself to close distance and stopped in front of him. Her legs shook. Her body felt funny. Almost like she was going to throw up. “I know how to kiss. And I’ll….I’ll show you.”

          “Fine. Go ahead.” He cocked his hip in an arrogant stance like he did this every day and was already getting bored.

          Drawing on her knowledge from the movies, she leaned forward. I will not screw this up. Relax my lips. Deep breath. Angle, my head more to the side so we don’t bump noses. God, what if I hit his chin and make him bleed? No, don’t think about that. Kissing is a piece of cake.

          No big deal. No big deal. No big deal….

          His breath is light and warm as it rushed over her lips. She arched her neck upward and paused. Then his lips touched hers.

          She barely felt the brush but an array of sensations passed over her. The touch of his fingers over her shoulders. The gentle pressure of his mouth. The earthly scent of the woods mixed with a teasing hint of cologne.

          In those few moments, he’d given her a rare gift. Her heart burst open and a strange elation soared through her veins. Her first real kiss. How long had she dreaded and feared the experience, horridly afraid she’d hate boys and kissing and not be normal? She knew then she was a mature girl and would never question that part of herself again.

          He slowly pulled away and her eyes drifted open. Their gazes met and locked. Her emotions poured through her in roaring, choppy waves, like she was zooming down the log ride at Great Adventure, and hung on with fear and excitement. She held her breath and waited.

          An odd expression crossed his face. He studied her as if he’d never seen her before. For one glorious moment, she glimpsed something deep within his golden brown eyes – a shred if vulnerability he never shared. His lips curved in a hint of a smile.

          She smiled back. Felt safe. Knew he wouldn’t make fun of her or ignore her any longer. Things changed. What she denied and protested for so long suddenly popped out of without thought or consequence.

          “I’m going to marry you one day.”

          She never questioned his response, confident in their friendship and their kiss. She trusted him with a bone deep knowledge. Kim waited for his smile to grow larger, waited for his agreement, waited for their entire relationship to finally change after that one perfect kiss.         

          A shutter slammed over his face and the boy she kissed seemed to disappear.

          Then Gerald laughed.

          She blinked; not understanding his reaction, but when her gaze once again met his, coldness seeped into her chest.

          “Marry? Oh, that’s a good one, Kim. When I get married it’ll be to a real woman. Not a child.” He shook his head in sheer mockery, as if the thought would keep him amused for days on end. For laughs with his buddies. And his real girlfriends.

          She stood there in the woods, only able to watch in horror, for once not able to make a smart mouth comeback.

          His humor eased to a chuckle. “You got potential, though. With a little practice, you might get good at this kissing thing. See ya kid.”

          He walked away.

          A giggle rose through the air. With slow horror, she turned and caught one of her friends hidden in the bushes. Now everyone would know.

          In that moment, on the brink of womanhood, she made her first decision; she’d never let Gerald or any other boy humiliate her again. The only love worth counting on was family and friends. Boys could not be trusted, and she was smart enough not to need another lesson.

          She turned and ran, hide and go seek forgotten, and wondered what the ache in her chest was.

          Of course, she is still too young to pinpoint the actual cause.

          But years later……..she’d finally understand.

          Her heart has broken.