Chapter Fourteen

“Go away.”

The dog looked at him without expression. Gerald peered out the window at the falling snow and glanced at his watch. BookWorm had closed a few hours ago and Kim still wasn’t home. The roads were icing up, and the forecast stated they were in the middle of a pre-holiday blizzard. Everyone seemed overjoyed that it might be a white Christmas. Personally, Gerald didn’t care as long as they cleared the roads and the power stayed on.

He makes a face when he thought of Kim, calling him a Scrooge. She drove him crazy with her love of festivities, decorating the house, insisting on a real tree, even baking holiday cookies. Which seemed to look better than they actually tasted. When he told her the truth, she’s thrown the cookie at him. At least the hound dog had cleaned up the crumbs.

Gerald glanced over the doorway again. The skinny canine skulled behind the corner and peered at him with those yellow eyes. The week was almost up, and the mutt would finally be gone. He didn’t like the way the dog followed him around and watched his every movement. He didn’t act like a normal dog who barked and wagged his tail and slurped water. The one reminded him of a ghost. Kim forced him eat, drink, and taught him how to be walked. The mutt went through all the motions but his eyes remained distant, as if waiting for the real truth to be revealed. As if waiting to be dumped back on that highway. Alone.

Gerald shook his head, annoyed at the shiver that raced down his spine. He’d been having dreams lately of the dog Randy had made him het rid of, dream that haunted him until he reached for his wife in the middle of the night to exorcise the lingering images. He found himself doing that a lot lately. Losing himself in her body, in her warmth and heat, until the deep chill he carried within himself softened and the sharp edges blurred.

The yellow Volkswagen pulled into the driveway and relief skated through him, she flung open the front door and stomped the snow from her boots, laughing in sheer delight as she shook the white flakes from her hair.

“Isn’t this great?” we’re going to get another blizzard next week so we may have a white Christmas.”

“Why are you late?’

“Were you worried?’ she shot him a teasing look and took off her coat.

“No. But I told you last week you needed new tires on your car. Have you done that yet?”

“Not yet.”

“You can’t drive in the snow with bad tires. I told you to take the BMW and drop your car off.”

She scrunched up her nose. “I hate the BMW; it makes me nervous. Besides, I’ve drive in worse weather than this with worse vehicles. Oooh, the fire feels good.”She warmed up her hands and sneezed.”Damn cold, it just won’t go away. Do we have any holiday wine for tonight? I think It’s a Wonderful Life is on at nine.”

He scowled at her obvious attempt to ignore his advice. “That movie is corny. You’ve been sick for the past few days. You need to go to the doctor.”

“i have no time, Holidays are the busiest season at the store.”

I’ll bring you tomorrow. Then I’ll drop you off at the bookstore and take your car to the shop for new tires. You should get rid of that thing anyway. Just buy a new one.”

She made a rude noise. “Okay, Mr. Moneybags. I can’t afford a new car right now and i happen to like my Bug.”

“I’ll buy it.”

“No thanks.”

Frustration nipped at his nerve endings. She loudly proclaimed her motive was money for marrying him. So why would she take his money? He’d offered his free expertise for her cafe. A new car. A damn new wardrobe, though to him she’d look perfect in a sack. Everyone else grabbed at his money, which was the easiest thing to give. But no, not her, she refused to take a penny over what the contract stated and still managed to make him feel guilty. She drove him nuts. “You’re my wife and I’m allowed to buy you a car.”

“A car’s not in the contract.”

“Neither is .”

He waited for her to lose her temper but she just laughed. Then sneezed again. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. But I’ll keep the and say no to the car.

He stomped over to her and the dog cowered. “Think of it as a gift then.”

“You can buy me flowers if you want, but I’m not getting rid of the car. Boy, are you in a mood today?”

“I’m not in a mood.” As he uttered the statement, het got even more annoyed. His denial made the accusation seem more truthful. “Why won’t you let me do something nice for you?”

She plopped down on the floor in front of the fire, kicked off her shoes, and looked up at him. “Let him stay.”

He played dumb. “Who?”

“The dog.”

“I gave you time, Kim. You promised he’d be out on Friday. I don’t want a dog. I don’t want him. “ He waited for the launch attack and steeled himself to win the argument by sheer rationale.

Instead, she nodded her eyes quiet and a bit sad. “Okay He’ll be out by tomorrow.”

The guilt gnawed at his gut. He wanted to grab the dog and drive him to the pound tonight. Instead, he watched his wife hold out her arms and begin to croon to the mutt. The ugly yellow hound inched forward until he paused in front of her. With slow motion, she reached over and laid a hand under the animals’ jaw, his neck as she murmured nonsense. After a while, the quivering muscles relaxed and his ears fell back. Within a few minutes, she urged the dog to lay down in her lap and she continued to his coat, smoother now that she had bathed him, a little fuller now that she had fed him.

Gerald watched the whole scene play before his eyes, a mingling of past and present, a battle between loneliness and the risk of pain. And for the first time in weeks, the hound dog seemed to surrender for only a brief moment, to let himself bask in the tender ministrations of someone who proclaimed to love him.

And Gerald saw his tail begin to thump.

The tiny emotion was lost on his wife, who warmed herself in front of the fire with wounded, lost souls beside her. She gave for no gain of her own, no goal she needed to reach. Love was not a prize but something she owned inside and shared freely. Every night she took him deep into her body and held nothing back. The woman who was his wife was a fierce, proud creature who both shattered and humbled him, and he realized in the glimmer of firelight that he lover her.

He was in love with his wife.

The knowledge came like a tidal wave that swept him up and knocked him over to then rise, coughing and bruised, shaking his head as he wondered what the hell had happened.

He stood there in the middle of the room as she ignored him, and he watched his life veer off the main highway to a road filled with rocks and brush and potholes. Staggered with emotion, he took a step back as if to retreat from the whole mess.

Son of a .

He was in love with his wife.

“Gerald?”

He opened his mouth to answer, gulped, and tried again.

“Yeah”

“If you don’t want to watch the movie, give me another suggestion. I thought we’d get drunk in front of the fire and watch the blizzard, but if you’re cranky, I’m open to options.”

She was talking about movies and he’d just experienced the biggest crisis in his life. Gerald closed his eyes and fought off the emotions that burned through the last crumbling wall and left him with rubble. As if the dog recognized a fellow war victim, he lifted his head and watched.

Then Gerald knew what he had to do.

Too new to express his emotions verbally, too confused to see how he’d play out his new hand, those whirling, messy emotion exploded through him until he could only reveal them one way.

He crossed the room and knelt before her. The dog made a low mutter and moved from her lap to disappear into the kitchen. Kim looked at Gerald with a question in her eyes as he laid a palm over her check and studied her face. As if seeing her for the first time, he took in every feature and let himself fall into the abyss.

“I want to make love to you.”