Nature has its laws

(Jiyong's P.O.V)

I woke to find my face pressed to a page of a sketchbook. I opened my heavy eyelids and blinked sleep away. Sunlight was filling the room and I realised that I had spent half of the night sleeping with head on my desk. And the other half…

Hot blood ran to my cheeks, when I only thought about what had happened at Seunghyun’s house. I glanced at my undone bed in which I lay for only an hour after coming back home with Dami. My heart and mind were so full of emotions, which I couldn’t tame, that it was too hard for me to calm myself down and rest. Whenever I closed my eyes I could feel Seunghyun’s forehead on mine, his warm breath on my lips. The pressure of his touch had been unbearably overwhelming and sweet. My vivid imagination let me create a different ending to that particular moment, when we had been closer than ever. I couldn’t help thinking about his lips touching mine in a brief kiss, his fingertips tracing their way on my jaw and neck…

I drew a sharp breath and lifted my head together with the sheet that got stuck to my cheek. It happened again! How was it even possible that I had fallen asleep tonight, when I simply wasn’t able to normally relax and enjoy the darkness beneath closed eyelids? I got rid of the paper from my cheek and massaged it gently, as it was completely numb. My throat and roof of mouth were bone dry and my attempt to swallow occurred to be painful. I slowly stood up and started looking for a bottle of mineral water. I felt like a lost wanderer on a desert, trying to reach the oasis of unknown location. My limbs seemed oppressively heavy and my ears were full of annoying buzz. Dizziness in my head made me wonder, if a brick hadn’t fallen on it or something.

There was no sign of the bottle, but instead I found a mug filled with cold tea, that my sister had brought me. Drinking the tea, I got struck by another wave of memories that warmed my insides and made my heart flutter.

I spent time alone with Seunghyun, in his room, lying on his bed, with him taking care of me.

It was a miracle. I would never imagine that we could move from being complete strangers to sharing funny moments in a bedroom. But I definitely didn’t have anything against it. Forgetting about that unpleasant hour I was forced to spend with that pushy and intrusive girl, whose name I hadn’t even got to know, I could call that evening the best in my whole life. My smile suddenly faded. There was also another moment that should have never happened.

I tightened my eyelids and tried hard to drive off this obnoxious vision. I was sure it had destroyed all my chances to make friends with Seunghyun. He would never forgive me vomiting on such an expensive rug. And the only way to fix this situation was paying for the carpet. Paying with the money I unfortunately didn’t have.

I curled my fingers around the mug and drank everything from it at once. When I quenched my thirst, I decided to stay at home the whole day. There weren’t any important lessons or tests, so I would have better time drawing and writing with T.O.P. I wanted to show him my newest sketches of ‘a female model I had found’. I came back to the desk and looked at pages covered with effigies of CL, the nice girl who had been sitting next to me during yesterday’s match. I found her really pretty, though not exactly my type, so I had decided to use her image and introduce it to T.O.P. There was no need for me to change any of her features like I had done with my male model. CL’s beauty and style were some kind of extraordinary and suited my concept of a person from an art school, which I claimed to attend. Seunghyun, on the other hand, lacked something unique, of course despite being super-handsome, so I had dyed his hair blue with the help of my aquarell crayon. I didn’t really know why, but T.O.P had acted strange, having seen the pictures I had sent him. He hadn’t seemed enthusiastic at all and his answers had been unusually snippy. All I could do was hope that today he would have a better day and would like ‘my second model’.

I sat on the chair and grabbed my automatic pencil - a new idea came to my mind, so I started sketching quickly not to let it disappear. I always got really involved into drawing and while doing it, I completely forgot about the world around me. This time was no different. I focused on the texture of the coat I was designing and only after a while I heard a strange tapping. Reaching the state of awareness, I recognised it as a sound as that of knuckles making contact with a door. Someone was obviously knocking on my bedroom door and still waited for the answer.

“Come in!” I said loudly and the door creaked open.

The person standing there was my mom. She looked around the room, probably admiring the ubiquitous mess and finally her gaze stopped at me.

“I started getting worried that you’ve overslept,” she said, smiling. “So it’s great that you actually haven’t. I hope that you are ready for school, because-“

“I’m not going anywhere today,” I interrupted her. It was rude to say something like that to my mom, but I wasn’t in a good mood for explanations. I was about to continue drawing, but it wasn’t mom’s plan to give up easily.

“There is someone waiting for you downstairs,” she stated and something knotted inside my heart.

No, it can’t be him…

“Who?” I managed to speak, although nervousness took over my body. My hands started shaking and I felt cold sweat on my neck.

“A handsome tall boy in a school uniform of your school. I asked him why he didn’t wear a coat and he said he had arrived here by car,” she explained, taken aback a little because of my strange reaction. “He claims to be your friend.”

Seunghyun!

I swallowed hard and suddenly stood up.

“Tell him that I’ll be ready in three minutes!” I exclaimed and dived into the big pile of clothes, looking for something to wear. Mom observed me for a while with her brows raised and eventually nodded to herself and left the room. I quickly got dressed and ran to the bathroom. I splashed some water on my face to get rid of signs of tiredness and brushed my teeth, simultaneously trying to apply eyeliner on my eyelids. Although it was only the fourth time I was doing it, I had managed to acquire needed skills. I didn’t have time to stylize my hair, so I only ran a comb through it. Back to my room, I put on the school blazer and while searching for a bag and some textbooks, I finally started wondering, why I had changed my attitude towards going to school so suddenly. It terrified me slightly that Seunghyun’s presence had such a great influence on me. Five minutes ago I felt a complete lack of energy and motivation to go out, but when I only heard that he had come here to pick me up, warm feelings filled me and I completely changed my mind.

Seunghyun isn’t mad at me! He knows that the carpet thing was an accident and he doesn’t blame me.

Relief was radiating from my body and it formed wings of unspoiled happiness, growing out of my back. I grabbed my sketchbook and the bag and flew out of the room on my wings. My joy made me feel so light I almost heaved over the ground. I flew downstairs and was ready to happily greet Seunghyun. I heard muffled voices from the kitchen and decided to go there, but then a sudden thought struck my mind. Something is wrong.

I entered the kitchen and saw my mom talking with a ‘handsome tall boy in a school uniform’, but it definitely wasn’t Seunghyun.

“Jiyong!” Mom exclaimed, when she noticed me, causing the person to turn around.

My wings disappeared, giving me an impression that I started falling down from the highest level of a skyscraper at an abnormal speed. My heart stopped beating, when the cold gaze of Dongwook’s eyes rested on me.

“Jiyong,” he repeated in a calm low voice that I knew far too well.

I was unable to move or do anything. My mind turned absolutely empty. I noticed my mom making a surprised expression. Her eyes were telling me to start behaving normally. She was probably ashamed that she had raised such an useless and socially disabled child. I was almost sure that there would be ‘a talk’, after I came back home in the afternoon. There was only one way to prevent it, but it depended if Dongwook had mood for killing me today.

“Hi,” I mumbled, looking down. I felt an external pressure to play Dongwook’s game. It was happening too frequently recently. I dreamt about running back to my bedroom and locking the door behind me. I shouldn’t have left my aisle at all.

Dongwook came closer to me and put his arm around my shoulders, making me stiffen.

“It really took you a long time to get ready,” he told me in a friendly tone. He was a good actor, indeed. “We have to hurry, otherwise we will be late again.”

He turned to my mom, smiling.

“It was really nice to meet you, Mrs. Kwon. I hope that I would be able to visit your beautiful house more often,” he said, emphasizing the last word.

Mother waved us goodbye and Dongwook led me to the door. When it closed behind us, he grabbed my wrist and dragged me to his car. He almost pushed me onto the passenger seat and slammed the door of his silver Toyota.

I glanced down on my clasped hands which were trembling like leaves. I listened to my heart beating so fast and loud that I was almost sure I had an heart attack. I had no idea what Dongwook was going to do, but it definitely wouldn’t have any good result. He had caught me like a hunter captures a wild animal in its natural habitat, when it not only leads a calm everyday life, but also doesn’t expect the aggressor to invade its home. It always felt safe there, but suddenly the whole world changes and the safest place no longer exists.

This time I couldn’t expect Seunghyun to help me. He was far far away, probably already at school, not even thinking about me. And why should it be different? I was only a pathetic meaningless creature in a big universe and I was soon going to be destroyed as a natural cause of the rule that the stronger wins.

Dongwook got into the car and switched it on. Not even looking at me, he drove off leaving my house behind.

I tried really hard to stop shaking, but all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball in the seat and pretend that I actually didn’t exist. Somebody, please, help me.

“Jiyong,” Dongwook spoke after a few minutes of silence which had started to drive me crazy. “You left early yesterday,” he stated.

I swallowed hard and opened my mouth to answer, but any sound didn’t come out. I was simply too terrified to say a thing. Dongwook must have noticed that in the corner of his eye, because he smirked under his breath, still looking straight at the road.

“It was really a pity. I had prepared something fantastic and wanted you to be the centre part of it. However, you and my idiot brother completely ruined my plans.”

So he knew about Seunghyun helping me. It wasn’t a good sign. I wondered how it was possible that Dongwook knew about everything what was happening. Especially around me.

“Don’t you want to hear what my plan was?” he asked, suddenly tightening his fingers on the steering wheel.

NO!!! I shook my head and closed my eyes, praying for this painful moment to come to an end. Why couldn’t he kill me at once? Well, I knew the answer. He was such a type of predator who preferred to torture its victim before eventually killing it.

“Oh, no? I can’t believe it,” he chuckled. ”But I still want to tell you what you lost. Well, I guess a drunk kid in a pool is always fun. I’m sure that no one would have helped you. They would have only been gawking and taking some photos. And you would have spend a few minutes underwater, drowning slowly. Your lungs would have filled with ice cold water and all your brain cells would have frozen-”

I moaned, unable to listen to it anymore. I put my hands to my ears and covered them tightly. Dongwook laughed and grabbed my hand.

“Don’t worry, Jiyongie.” He said, causing a cold shiver to run down my spine. I hated it whenever he touched me or called me ‘Jiyongie’. “I would have showed up just in time and have saved you.”

I looked at him in shock. He was joking, right?

“Letting you die in my own pool wouldn’t exactly help me regain popularity,” he chuckled again. “Imagine that I would have rescued you… I would be the one called the hero of the night, not Seunghyun.”

So that is what it all was about. Dongwook wanted attention and he was angry at Seunghyun who scored by the last shot, making everyone focus on him. But why had Dongwook wanted me to be a part of his plan? I knew he had never showed me mercy and simply loved tormenting me, but I would never think he could invent such a life-threatening situation in which I could easily die. It all seemed rather ridiculous.

I looked out of the window and noticed that we had finally reached familiar area near school. Until now Dongwook had been driving around the whole neighbourhood. I felt relief that in the end I would find myself at school not in a ditch in a forest or somewhere.

 “So why exactly did you scream my brother’s name during the match?” Dongwook asked unexpectedly. Again he let me know that he was aware of everything I had been doing.

I blushed a bit and shrugged my shoulders.

“I don’t like the fact you’re getting closer to each other. I’ve already mentioned it to Seunghyun, but it seems that he won’t listen to me,” he parked the car in his usual place in the very end of school parking lot and switched it off. He put his hands on his laps and turned to me. “I don’t want you to hang out with him. If I see you together, I won’t be that nice.”

My eyes widened and I felt my chin trembling.

“That’s okay. I guess he doesn’t even like me,” I mumbled quietly, having on mind the situation with fox rug. I had an excuse to avoid Seunghyun. Even though it meant that my heart would dry up from yearning, I would never look at him or think about him. That’s the best solution.

“I’m glad we've reached an agreement, Jiyongie,” Dongwook smiled in satisfaction. “That’s what I like about you.”

He stretched out his hand to ruffle my hair, but I automatically leant back, not to let him touch me. I still remembered Seunghyun doing it yesterday and I wouldn’t allow Dongwook to destroy this pleasant memory. He only smirked to himself and his eyes flared.

“Get out,” he ordered and I quickly did what he had told me. I jumped out of the car and ran across the parking lot as fast as I could. I reached the main entrance, gasping for a breath and again recalled Seunghyun helping me here. Although I had told myself that I wanted it, forgetting Seunghyun wouldn’t be easy. My heart was so full of him that I should probably rip it out to get rid of the picture of his smiling face which was still haunting me.

That day I attended every class and even focused on them. I didn’t go that far to actually make any notes, but I stared at the blackboard and thoroughly analysed every word written on it to occupy my mind. During maths I was about to break and even took my sketchbook out of the bag. I tried drawing something different than another portrait of Seunghyun with blue hair, but I felt an annoying lack of ideas. I bit my lip and looked up at the right moment when Dongwook sitting in the middle of the room glanced at me. I felt the taste of bitterness in my mouth and quickly looked away. Why is my life so hard?

Maths was the penultimate subject in today’s timetable. The last one was the only lesson that I liked - arts. Unfortunately, we were in the middle of analysing a particularly uninteresting unit from our book. It was all about animals anatomy and movement. I had no idea who had written such a stupid textbook. Our task for today was to redraw a picture of a jumping leopard. Even I had some problems with it, as it didn’t belong to my area of interest and I had never attempted to draw anything more than people, clothes and occasionally a still life picture. I looked around the room and noticed only a few of my classmates who were actually trying to draw the animal. The rest, including Dongwook, completely ignored the teacher’s order. I decided to do the task my way. At first I read the whole note about a leopard from the textbook. It provided some useful information about diversity of leopards’ furs and described its many functions, one of them being camouflage. I especially liked that point and for a while wanted to be a leopard, a fast animal able to defend itself and hide when it’s needed. I sketched a contour of the leopard and concentrated on giving it an ideal fur with the complicated rosette pattern and proper shading. I got really involved into it, treating it as practice for designing fur coats or something of that kind. The lesson came to an end quickly and I packed all of my stuff and put it into my bag. The only thing left on the desk was my sketchbook - I wanted to show the drawing of the leopard to the teacher who was generally enthusiastic about my works. Classroom went empty and I approached teacher’s desk.

“Mrs. Hwang?” I said and she looked up and smiled at me.

“Oh, Jiyong!” she exclaimed and tossed her orange-blonde hair over her right shoulder. “It’s great that you’ve stayed! I have something really important to tell you!” She started looking for something in the drawers. “There is a new competition for amateur fashion designers! I’m sure you’ll be interested in taking part in it! But I only have to find the application forms and the rules I’ve printed out for you! Argh, where have I put it…”

I watched her open all of the shelves and books, making a terrible mess around her.

“You don’t have to hurry, I can wait a little,” I told her, giggling to myself. She was quite a funny person and looked very young thanks to her unique style. Despite being in her middle thirties, she used to wear colorful miniskirts and lots of accessories.

The door of the classroom opened and we both looked up. I felt my heart beat quicken, when I saw who had entered the room.

“Seunghyun!” Mrs. Hwang sent him a grin and came back to her searches.

“I’ve come here for the enrollment form,” he announced and closed the door behind him.

He turned around and I saw a flicker in his eyes at the moment he noticed me. His gorgeous lips twitched into a smile. Seunghyun slowly came closer with his hands in pockets, looking incredibly handsome in his dark shirt. He stood next to me and leant to me slightly.

“Hello, Jiyong,” he whispered into my ear and a shiver run down my spine. Not a cold one, but warm and wonderful. In reaction I only nodded to him, feeling speechless.

“Boys, you’ll have to wait here,” Mrs. Hwang said. “I must have left the papers in the teachers’ room. I’ll be back in a minute!” She quickly left the room, leaving us alone.

I glanced at the tips of my shoes, praying for her fast comeback. I knew that I had already lost. All of my efforts to stop thinking about Seunghyun turned out to be pointless. Seeing him was enough to make me struggle to suppress my desire for him.

“So… Why have you been avoiding me?” I heard his voice so close to me that I could almost feel it vibrate through the air around me.

“I haven’t…,” I answered and wrapped my arms tightly around the sketchbook I was holding close to my chest.

“You think I wouldn’t notice you running away whenever I was around?” He chuckled and sat on the desk in front of me. “Look at me.”

My heart slammed out a beat and I slowly did what he had told me, biting my lower lip. I made myself meet his eyes, fearful of disapproval and anger I might see in them. Instead, there was only interest and acceptance. He lifted his hand and touched my lip with his thumb, gently releasing it from the pressure of my teeth.

“Don’t do that,” he said in a emotional tone. “I’m not angry at you, so we can forget about that stupid carpet.”

For a moment I was sure that he was able to read my mind, but then I realised that it was quite easy to guess the reason of my strange behaviour. Seunghyun took away his fingers from my face, but I still could feel his touch. My lower lip was burning and I couldn’t prevent myself from touching it with my own fingertips. Seunghyun observed me all the time and something changed on his face, but I wasn’t able to name it.

“I-I… I guess it was very expensive,” I got it off my chest. “I’m really sorry for destroying it…”

“You don’t have to apologise. In fact, I hated that rug. I’m really glad you helped me to get rid of it,” he said and we both smiled.

I hugged my sketchbook tightly, suddenly overwhelmed by the whole situation. Seunghyun’s gaze rested on the object I was holding.

“You draw, too?” He asked and I nodded. “Can you show me…?” He looked me straight in the eyes and I couldn’t refuse.

I lied the sketchbook on the teachers desk and was about to open it, when the classroom door opened again. However, the person who had appeared wasn’t Mrs. Hwang. It was Dongwook. I could feel blood rushing down from my face. Utterly terrified, I made a step back and was ready to run away, and I would do so, if Dongwook wasn’t standing on my way.

“I leave my pencil case on the table, I come back to take it from the classroom and who I see here? Seunghyun and Jiyong who both promised me not to meet each other anymore,” he said, slowly approaching us. “What a strange coincidence, isn’t it?”

“Well, it is a coincidence, because-“ Seunghyun started explaining, but Dongwook lifted his palm and silenced him with that gesture.

“Is it really that hard to obey one simple request?”

I hated it when he used so many rhetorical questions full of irony. I hated the way he always treated me. I hated how perfect he was at destroying my dreams. I hated him so much that I couldn’t find proper words to describe it. If I were a leopard, I would attack him without hesitation and make him leave me alone. But I still was me, little weak Jiyong and I could do nothing but stand in one place with my legs shaking.

“Jiyongie, as far as I remember, our deal clearly stated that you must not spend time with Seunghyun, am I right? Or have you forgotten?” Dongwook mocked, already standing in front of me.

“Cut it out, Dongwook,” Seunghyun put his hand on his brother’s shoulder, but Dongwook shook it off.

“And you, my dear brother, promised me not to get involved,” he told him with annoyed look. “Why do you have such problems with memory? Are your minds that benumbed with love or other stupid ?”

I felt hot blood running to my cheeks and suddenly felt dizzy. I rested my hand on the desk behind me, accidentally pushing off the sketchbook. It landed on the floor and most of the pages fell out of it, covering the area between us.

Both Choi brothers glanced at my drawings and frowned. I paid attention to Dongwook’s reaction, who suddenly become very concerned about the pictures. He bent down and picked up three or four pages - the ones with CL. I suddenly understood what made him that angry.

“Are you meeting my girlfriend?” He asked with his eyes narrowed.

“N-No!” I answered in a shaky voice. “These are only some sketches I have made-”

“So they are all yours?” Seunghyun broke in suddenly, looking at me expectantly. His eyes seemed to be full of surprise and... hope? He was also holding one page, but I couldn’t see what was drawn on it. I nodded to him and swallowed.

“Then it seems that you actually had some drawing sessions with my girlfriend,” Dongwook stated through gritted teeth. “I had no idea that I should ask you to avoid also her.”

I watched him boil with anger and I realised that I felt exactly the same. My dismay turned into annoyance. How can he accuse me that easily? What have I ever done to him to deserve such treatment?!

“What are you so mad about? I don’t care about your stupid girlfriend at all, so leave me alone!” I heard myself speaking. It just slipped out of my mouth unexpectedly. My eyes widened in shock that I had actually said it, but I didn’t have time to explain myself, because Dongwook’s fist made contact with my face. The power of the strike threw me off balance and made me fall backwards and I landed on the ground at the same moment, when Seunghyun hit his brother. Dongwook wanted to punch him back, but Seunghyun easily blocked his hand and managed to withstand the pressure.

“Dongwook, we both know you have to go now,” he said looking straight in his brother eyes.

Dongwook’s jaw was trembling with fury, but all of sudden he relaxed a little, having probably realised what Seunghyun had on his mind. He mumbled a curse under his breath. He deliberately stepped on every piece of paper lying on the floor and made his way to the exit. He didn’t look back and only slammed the door fiercely.

I took a sharp breath, suddenly realising that I had been holding it for some time. Dongwook’s leaving let me regain all my senses that I had lost at the moment he had hit me. I felt pain in the whole body, but what ached the most was my left mouth corner. Blood was dripping from it, trickling down my chin. I pushed myself onto elbows and made an effort to stand up, but I only managed to groan with pain.

Seunghyun, who had been standing in one place like frozen, woke up from the daze and ran to me. He made a hurt expression and kneeled next to me.

“Jiyong, I’m so sorry,” he gasped and gently slipped his hand behind my neck to help me stay in this position. “I shouldn’t have let him hit you. But he did it so suddenly that I-“

I clutched my fingers on his shirt to make him focus on me, because he started panicking a little. The whole situation seemed familiar, like a mixture of our first meeting and the last night in Seunghyun’s bedroom.

“It’s not-“

‘It’s not your fault,’ I tried to say, but torn skin at the corner of my mouth started aching even more, when I wanted to speak. Suffering must have been visible on my face, because Seunghyun also gave a grimace of distress. The only difference was that he suffered mentally.

He lifted his hand probably to rub blood away from my chin, but then we heard an awe-stricken shout.

“Seunghyun!” Mrs. Hwang called out. “What have you done to Jiyong?!”

She found us in such a strange position and saw the pages of my notebook scattered all over the floor. The easiest conclusion was that we had had a fight during her absence. Or rather that Seunghyun had attacked me.

“This is not what you think, Mrs. Hwang-“ Seunghyun started, but Mrs. Hwang wasn’t listening to him as she just had noticed blood on my face and covered her eyes in shock.

“Seunghyun, I knew about your brother, but I would never think that you’re the same!” She exclaimed, utterly petrified. She ran to me and pushed Seunghyun away. She helped me to rise to my feet and put my arm around her shoulders. I was opening and closing my mouth like a fish taken out of the tank, but the pain didn’t let me speak and explain the confusing situation.

“I will take him to the nurse and you have to stay here until I come back with the headmaster,” she announced, leading me to the door. “I must say that you have really disappointed me, Seunghyun.”

When we reached the exit, I turned around and Seunghyun’s eyes met mine. Both our hurt gazes locked for a few seconds. There was something more in his look, something that I had already noticed when I had told him that I was the author of these drawings. I couldn’t define it, but whatever it was, it didn’t matter right now. Seunghyun was in serious trouble and I decided that I would do everything to get him out of it. I would defend him like a leopard defends all of the members of its pride. But my pride consisted only of the two of us, so I was sure it would be easier to take care of Seunghyun properly.