I wanted to say 'thank you' to all the new readers! I appreciate your subscriptions and comments so much <3

The chapter was meant to be dedicated to MaiDear and didoe84, but I'm afraid you will hate me, after reading it...

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The kissing issues - part 2

Life is a déjà vu

(Jiyong's P.O.V)

“Should we come back and clean the mess?” Taeyang asked, raising a brow questioningly.

I shook my head in reaction. “They won’t see the difference! No one cares about that place.”

But there was someone who did care. Not about the storehouse, but about me.

The certain someone named Choi Seunghyun who shot me an upset look at the exact moment, when I opened the door of his car and sidled into the passenger seat.

“What have you been doing there this long?” he asked in a quiet voice.

“I’m so sorry, Seunghyun!” I apologised immediately, feeling incredibly guilty at the sight of the hurt gaze of Seunghyun’s beautiful eyes. “I had no idea it would take us so much time!”

“That doesn’t answer my question,” he responded with a pout and turned his gaze away from me.

“Hyunnie…,” I sighed quietly, but Seunghyun probably didn’t hear me.

“We did nothing that could make you jealous, Hyung,” chuckled Taeyang, who had just seated himself in the back seat of the silver Toyota, which was actually Dongwook’s car.

I was surprised that Seunghyun’s brother agreed to lend him his treasure, but I wouldn’t complain. I had some bad associations with the Toyota, but when Seunghyun was the driver, they were somehow fading away.

Seunghyun switched the engine on and we soon left the school area.

“Hyung, really,” Taeyang spoke after a minute of awkward silence, in which I kept looking at Seunghyun from the corner of my eye, but he was fully concentrated on the road ahead. “Stop being like that. You know I’m 100% straight, so nothing could happen to your lovely Jiyong.”

I blushed at this statement and slouched my shoulders, hiding my face in the high collar of my coat.

I didn’t expect any response from Seunghyun, so hearing him answer shocked me, but not as much as the sentences that slipped out of his mouth.

“I had thought I was straight, too,” he said calmly. “Before I met Jiyong.”

My ears started burning in an instant and I wanted to open the door and jump out of the car in embarrassment.

It was something I had never heard from Seunghyun before. The shock was doubled, because he had actually confessed it in the presence of his best friend.

If I had ever lacked in faith in Seunghyun’s feelings towards my person, all of my doubts would disappear now. This was a real proof of how serious he was about me. And I loved this feeling of security that filled me at this realisation.

Taeyang was giggling in the backseat. “I assure you, you don’t have to worry about that, Hyung,” he said in an amused voice. “I have never planned to steal your boyfriend.”

“Thanks, Yongbae,” Seunghyun mumbled with a half-smile.

The atmosphere relaxed and remained like that till the end of the ride. I managed to calm down and as my blush disappeared, I released my face from the collar just in time to say ‘Goodbye!’ to Taeyang, when we reached his house, which turned out be just one row away from Seunghyun’s.

We watched Taeyang till the moment he opened the front door of his family villa and turned around to wave us goodbye with a smile on his lips. When the door had already closed behind him and we still hadn’t driven away, I looked at Seunghyun questioningly and noticed a frown on his face.

“Hyunnie, are you still mad?” I asked, putting my hand on his shoulder to make him look at me.

His expression softened at my gesture and the pet name that he obviously liked.

Seunghyun sighed and turned to me, extending his hand to pull me closer.

“I’m not mad,” he whispered against my forehead before kissing it. “Just incredibly jealous.”

I giggled at his words and tickling peck on my face that was soon showered with a sequence of light kisses.

“You don’t have to be, Hyunnie,” I whispered back, melting under the touch of his lips. “I would never do anything-“

A direct kiss on my lips prevented me from speaking. My eyes closed automatically as they always did in reaction to the unbearably sweet pressure on my lips. It was an unconditioned reflex that I couldn’t really control.

“I know you wouldn’t,” Seunghyun said, when he pulled away. “I just love you too much.”

“I love you, too,” I whispered with my cheeks burning.

He leant to me to bring back the connection of our hungry lips, but when they were less than an inch away, we heard a message notification sound of Seunghyun’s phone.

With a sigh, he started looking for his phone and when he finally managed to find it and read the message to himself, a smirk appeared on his face.

“I guess we have to go now,” he said, straightening in his seat.

“Why?” I gasped surprised and my voice sounded so desperate and full of longing that I was about to start laughing at myself.

Seunghyun smiled at my reaction and handed me his phone without saying a word. I took it in my hands, unlocked the screen and read the message.

6:54 pm, Yongbae:

Stop kissing in front of my house!
My granny almost fainted when
she saw u from the window! :P

It brought even more hot blood to my already burning cheeks.

“Taeyang is a funny guy,” I admitted and Seunghyun nodded in agreement.

“Indeed,” he spoke, focusing his attention on parking the car in the driveway. “That’s why I’m friends with him,” he added and switched the engine off. “Because I’m not a funny guy myself,” he finished, looking at me with a cocky smile.

“I’m having enough fun with you, Hyunnie!” I replied with a giggle and he leant closer to peck my lips.

“You’ll be having even more, when you see what I prepared for you,” he stated and left the car without further explanations what made me incredibly curious.

“What have you planned, Seunghyun?” I asked, jumping out of the car and closing the door a little bit to fiercely.

“It’s a surprise, so I can’t tell you now,” he replied. “But I can reveal that I have something nice to give you.”

It left me thinking about all of the possible gifts, but it was quite hard to guess what could it be. I blushed at some ideas that came to my mind, but I was almost sure they weren’t Seunghyun’s style.

I couldn’t stop myself from considering every option and possibility and it didn’t even distract me, when Seunghyun took off my coat in the main hallway.

Only when I felt something moist on my ear, did I come back to reality. I touched the lobe that buzzed from a warm sensation and I gasped at a sudden realisation of what had happened.

“Seunghyun!” I cried. “Why did you my ear?!”

He shrugged his shoulders with a chuckle. “I had no idea how to bring you back from your land of dreams.”

“You could have-,“ I moaned loudly, but then he put his finger on my lips, shushing me.

“Not so loud, Ji!” Seunghyun said. “My mom is home.”

“Oh,” I gasped and was about to apologise, but then Seunghyun’s eyes suddenly narrowed as he was looking at something behind me.

“Speak of a devil,” he muttered, his words making me turn around swiftly.

“Seunghyun?” a melodious female voice sounded in the hallway.

When the woman stepped into the light I was able to see that she was dressed in jeans and loose t-shirt. She had light blond hair, despite being obviously Asian, so I assumed it was dyed. Her face was beautiful and young and I almost couldn’t believe she was Seunghyun’s mother, not his older sister.

“Hi mom,” Seunghyun said and came closer to kiss her smooth cheeks that showed no signs of aging and could be a subject of my own mother’s jealousy.

“Welcome home, sweetie!” she greeted him happily. “I’ve heard that you brought a friend with you!”

“Yeah, I did,” Seunghyun stepped aside to let her see me, standing there confused and blushing.

I had a feeling that she was that kind of woman who would jump to me and pinch my cheeks joyfully, telling me how sweet and cute I was.

But I couldn’t have known how much I miscalculated it.

Mrs. Choi might have had such plans, but she didn’t turn that strategy into action. At the exact moment, when she looked at me, her expression changed from enthusiastic and curious to shocked and petrified.

“Kim Minhun?!” she exclaimed with her eyes wide in surprise. She brought her hand to and stared at me in complete surprise.

My smile faded in an instant and unpleasant cold sensation filled my stomach. The emotional temperature in the room dropped below 0, freezing me at my spot.

What has just happened?

I was sure she had mistaken me with somebody else and there was probably nothing to worry about, but the way she looked at me with terror filling her face and the moment, when Seunghyun gasped as if he had just realised something important, scared me to death.

Piercing gazes of Choi mother and son seemed to burn a hole in my chest, what made me feel like an intruder in this house. I would have turned around on my heel and run away, but my trembling legs had seized up.

What can I do?

For some unknown reason Seunghyun didn’t help me and I was too afraid to look at him, unsure of what I would see in his eyes.

There was only one thing I could do…

“I-,” I wanted to speak, but it seemed that my voice had refused obedience, too. I pulled myself together and tried one more time. “I-I’m actually Kwon Jiyong,” I spoke sheepishly, trying to keep my gaze on Mrs. Choi face to somehow get her understanding and acceptance.

It occurred that my simple action had a desired result, because the tensed atmosphere suddenly relaxed. Mrs. Choi took a deep breath and managed to smile at me. Shock disappeared from her eyes as she spoke.

“I’m so sorry, dear! I have confused you with someone!” She shot Seunghyun a meaningful look that only they could understand. “I’ll warm up the dinner!”

Seunghyun’s mother disappeared quickly behind the wall, leaving us alone in the hallway.

“Hyunnie, what’s going on?” I kept my gaze on the ground, avoiding eye contact.

“Let’s go, Ji,” I felt a strong grip on my wrist and Seunghyun pulled me forward, almost making me fall at the power of this tug. “I’ll tell you upstairs.”

Without a word of complaint, I followed him to his bedroom that I had visited before, on the day of Dongwook’s party.

When yesterday Seunghyun had invited me to spend a night in his house, I was so overwhelmed with enthusiasm that I wanted to jump up to the ceiling. Although we had been working together for about a month, we usually met in arts classroom or in the library. But the fact was that Seunghyun had already visited my house - and that was the reason why he wanted a revenge. A revenge that had really appealed to me, I had to admit.

I had had some plans about the things we would be doing and had been all so excited about sight-seeing that awesome modern manor of Choi family. I had seen a part of it during the party, but wanted to see how it looked like without hundreds of strangers in it.

Now my initial intentions became less important than the current situation. I didn’t even bother to admire the beautifully decorated walls and corridors, because my thoughts were concentrated only on one thing. Or rather, one person.

Kim Minhun.

Whoever he was, it seemed that we looked alike and this sight had almost made Seunghyun’s mother draw her last breath. And to make matters worse, it hadn’t been only her reaction.

Seunghyun was shocked, too. Or scared even. I was able to literally feel it through my skin. Seunghyun’s hand, that was clenched on mine, was shaking slightly. His grasp was too firm, too forceful, almost bone crushing. He probably had no idea that it made me wince in pain - he was too deep in thought. And there was nothing I could desire more at that moment than possessing an ability to read his mind.

Who the hell is Kim Minhun? And why he makes you behave like this, Seunghyun?

Fortunately, it was Seunghyun’s plan to answer my questions, even though I hadn’t said them aloud. Already in his room, he made me sit on his bed, finally letting go of my sore wrist and  I couldn’t help it, but started massaging it to ease the pain.

“God, I’m so sorry!” Seunghyun gasped, seeing my action and realising what he had done. “I didn’t know I was that nervous.”

I didn’t answer and only looked at him expectantly, demanding any explanations. My hand still hurt, but it didn’t matter anymore. What was the most important now were Seunghyun’s eyes that showed me his true emotions. He wasn’t nervous. He was terrified.

There was no sign of love in those eyes that avoided looking directly into mine. They would only stop on my face and then turn away, as if I was not a pleasant object to look at.

I swallowed hard, feeling my heart freeze in my chest. Did he start to hate me for something I hadn’t done?

No it can’t be...

Seunghyun loves me. He loves me and I love him back. I had to repeat these words in my mind not to burst into tears. My lids and lip corners began twitching, hot salty liquid blurring my vision. I clasped my hands together, squeezing them tight, trying to prevent myself from crying. Confusion and helplessness overtook control of my body that started trembling as I was observing Seunghyun walking around the room with a thoughtful frown on his face.

Am I losing him right now?

No, I won’t let it happen.

“Seunghyun?” my voice sounded weak, but I was still proud of myself that I managed to let out a word, not a long whine.

Seunghyun looked at me in surprise as if he had forgotten I was in the room with him. Maybe it wasn’t me who was losing him, but he had lost me instead.

“I’m Kwon Jiyong,” I echoed my words that I had said to Seunghyun’s mom. It worked once, so I hoped this time it would make Seunghyun remember who I was. Who I was to him. “I’m your Jiyong. Not any Kim Minhun.” Seunghyun’s eyes widened and he gasped in shock, when he got the meaning of it.

“Jesus, Ji!” he exclaimed, running to me  He kneeled in front of me and cupped my face in his hands. “I know who you are, you don’t have to remind me!” his thumbs wiped off the tears that had already started running down my cheeks in burning streams. “Do you hear me?” he asked, because I didn’t look at him, keeping my gaze downcast.

I nodded, feeling my heart beginning to beat again, pumping blood efficiently to my ashamed face.

I’m so stupid.

“Hyunnie, I panicked,” I whispered a silent confession and threw my hands around his neck, hugging him tight. “You’ve scared me. I thought you don’t love me anymore, because I’m Kim Minhun. But I’m not Kim Minhun. I’m Kwon Jiyong. Kwon Jiyong. Kwon Jiyong you love,” I was mumbling nonsense into his ear, drinking the calming scent of his hair that tickled my nose, but I didn’t care.

Seunghyun was running his hand up and down my back in comforting gesture, while I sobbed against his shoulder. He had continued his consoling action, until my chest stopped heaving and enough of my tears of stupidity made his shirt wet. Then he pulled back to look at my flushed face and kissed the tip of my nose.

“Ji, I wasn’t angry at you,” he said. “I was angry at myself.”

“Why?” I asked, unable to understand what he meant.

“It’s a long story,” he winced, but his answer wasn’t enough for me.

“We have plenty of time,” I replied, feeling a strong need to understand the situation and get to know something about my doppelganger or whoever else Kim Minhun was.

With a sigh Seunghyun stood up from his knees and seated himself on the bed next to me.

“Fine, I’ll tell you,” he said and silenced for a short while to collect his thoughts. “The story might be quite shocking, though.”

I watched him, waiting calmly for the story to be told. I was a bit unsure of it. It must have been something important from Seunghyun’s past and much as I wanted to get to know more about him and have the confusion cleared out, I was afraid of what the story would bring. It seemed that it was a painful memory and I didn’t want to be the one who would remind Seunghyun about it all the time with my looks.

I took Seunghyun’s hand into mine and gave him a reassuring squeeze. I wanted to tell him that we would go through it together and he probably got my message, because he started speaking, after taking a deep breath.

“When we were younger, Dongwook and I used to be like best friends,” he spoke and I fidgeted at my spot in surprise.

What does Dongwook have to do with it?

I didn’t dare to voice my thought, not wanting to distract Seunghyun and let him continue.

“We were closer than brothers usually are. We never fought and always supported each other,” he smiled at the memory and my heart felt warmer at the sight of his finally relaxed expression. “I used to have some health problems, when we were in primary school and Hyung was very concerned about my well-being. Whenever I was in a hospital he would spend whole days with me, playing games or reading comics,” he stopped here and looked at me. “You might not believe it, but I used to be a fat kid then. I was taking some hormone drugs and my mother would always force me to eat a lot to have energy to fight the disease. I managed to regain full health, but the extra kilograms stayed with me. Other kids bullied me at school because of my obesity, but Dongwook was always there to defend me. He used to be my saviour at that time.”

He expected to see shock in my eyes, but I calmly accepted new information about his childhood. Seunghyun had no idea that his grandma had told me about his bulling problem. However, she hadn’t mentioned Dongwook’s part in that story nor Seunghyun’s poor health. It was great to hear it from Seunghyun himself. I felt that he really trusted me.

“Please, go on,” I encouraged him with a smile. Seunghyun smiled back at me and nodded. I was able to sense his relief.

“It all changed, when I turned 13. It was the year, when my grandpa died… .”

I knew what was coming now. The part about little Seunghyun who had to take over his grandpa’s designing duties and was pressured by the whole family, what caused him to fall into depression.

”Hyunnie,” I decided to take advantage of his moment of hesitation. “I know about Land of Sweets. Your grandma told me, when we visited her house together.”

I saw his eyes widen in surprise, but his expression didn’t turn angry.

“That blabbermouthed Halmoni…,” he said and smirked to himself. “I should have known that she can’t hold her tongue… .”

“Don’t be mad at her,” I pleaded. “She actually wanted to test me and show me how much I mean to you.”

Seunghyun shook his head. “I’m not mad. I just wanted to tell you about Land of Sweets thing myself at the right moment. But if you already know that part, I guess we can skip it.”

I nodded in silent agreement.

“So when my grandpa passed away, we had to move to Seoul to help grandma with running the café. Did she tell you about that?”

I shook my head. “Where did you use to live then? Before moving to Seoul?” I had to ask, as it was something new I hadn’t heard before.

“In Busan. My father owned a big company there. We had a beautiful house in traditional style near the shore. Both Dongwook and I loved it that much that we cried for a week, when we were forced to leave it and move to the capital. We had stayed at grandma’s house until our own one wasn’t built. That’s why she still has some of my old clothes in her closets.”

“That makes sense,” I replied with a nod. I had to admit I felt grateful to Seunghyun’s family for their decision to leave Busan. If they hadn’t done it, I would have never met Seunghyun and probably still lived my pitiful life without any friends, lying to T.O.P through the Internet. If T.O.P had even existed. There was something telling me that Seunghyun’s grandpa’s death was a very important moment in arising of his second identity. I had considered it earlier and came to a conclusion that T.O.P used to be someone to obese Seunghyun like G-Dragon was to socially-disabled me. The difference was that he had become one with his inner self far earlier than I did.

“And here comes the most important moment in this story,” Seunghyun said and his smile faded. And so did mine. I felt my insides knot, suddenly reminding myself what was the initial purpose of telling the story. I bit the inside of my lower lip in anticipation.

“Moving to a new city also meant changing schools. And changing schools changed Dongwook,” Seunghyun sighed and I felt sorry for him. I was sure he missed the way his brother used to be. I only wondered what had made him be like he was now. “Or maybe it wasn’t the process itself, but the new surrounding we found ourselves in. I was in the first grade of Hangsoo Junior High and Dongwook was in the third. While I quickly started being bullied again, Dongwook found new friends easily. And I probably don’t have to say that those brats weren’t good kids.

“Dongwook and I somehow drifted apart. The only way he cared about me then, was distracting his gang from bulling me, finding other children instead. We no longer shared our fascination with Marvel and Tony Stork. Dongwook had a new idol, Kim Minhun.”

I my breath in. That was a shocking revelation, something I could have never predicted. Kim Minhun was Dongwook’s friend who made him… that evil? Was he my bad twin or someone of that kind? But why did Dongwook hate me that much then?

Seunghyun, who saw my reaction, nodded in understanding.

“Kim Minhun… well, he looked like you. Not exactly the same, but there are some striking similarities,” Seunghyun brought his hand to my face and touched it gently. “Your cheekbones, colour and shape of eyes, your button nose. And most of all,”  his palm traveled to the top of my head. “Spiky blonde hair.”

I froze under his touch, my mouth opened in surprise.

“It can’t be,” I whispered, brushing my hair with my fingers. Was I really such an unlucky person that I had unconsciously dyed my hair the same colour as my doppelganger? However strange it sounded, I had always thought there were only two “myselves” - G-Dragon and I. However, it turned out I had been wrong.

“I’m not sure why I haven’t noticed it earlier. You were always some kind of familiar, but I never associated it with anything bad. A single thought of Minhun had never passed through my mind, when I looked at you,” he stopped as if he was looking for such moment in his memory. “Maybe once my subconsciousness tried to tell me that I used to know someone similar to you. Yesterday, when I saw you in the kitchen with disheveled hair and sleepy eyes.

“But don’t worry too much, Ji,” Seunghyun said in a soothing voice, seeing my flabbergasted expression. “You two are different and I will never compare you to him. You’re not his copy. There are many things that distinguish you. Your smile for example,” he pinched my cheek, making me grin at him. His eyes filled with familiar flickers and his loving gaze made me shiver. “That’s what I’m talking about. Minhun never smiled this way. He only smirked. Dongwook learnt that from him.”

Seunghyun’s gaze turned away and sparkling affection disappeared from it.

“He learnt other things, too. He soon became Minhun’s right hand and together they ruled the school. But tormenting freshmen and stealing their pocket money wasn’t enough for them. They started fighting against another gang from Kiran Junior High.”

“That was my school!” I exclaimed, quickly realising about which gang Seunghyun was talking. I knew those boys far too well...

“So you probably heard about that case. Minhun’s gang and that one from your school were real enemies. One would think that they were only some brats playing war, but those guys liked taking things extreme. They fought real battles with knives and metal sticks and they stopped only when the first drop of blood appeared. Dongwook started coming back home with a collection of bruises and cuts that was still growing. Sometimes he brought Minhun with him, despite my mother’s prohibition. Minhun was like Dongwook’s new brother. Far better version than fat and calm me,” bitterness was hearable in Seunghyun’s voice and I knew that he suffered. He had needed his brother then, but he had been replaced with someone else.

“I’m so sorry, Seunghyun,” I mumbled, touching his arm.

“Don’t be, Ji,” he answered with a faint smile. “It was Minhun who should have been sorry. Especially for what he did to Dongwook later.”

A cold shiver ran down my spine.

So Minhun had done something to Dongwook. And now Dongwook was taking revenge on me.

It was thrilling feeling. I was about to discover why Dongwook hated me so much. 

“Minhun betrayed Dongwook. I still don’t know what was on his mind, but he suddenly became allies with the Kiran gang. Of course, no one from his group knew about it, including his most trusted friend, being my brother. I believe Dongwook turned out to be more powerful and charismatic than Minhun was, and that didn’t appeal to the leader. One day he told Dongwook to meet him in the ruins of an old factory. But you can probably guess it wasn’t Minhun who appeared there,” Seunghyun turned to me with his brows drawn together at the recollection. “Dongwook was in the hospital for a few days after that night. Minhun visited him with a bouquet of flowers and an apology. He didn’t claim responsibility for what had happened to his so-called best friend, but I knew how the things looked like, because one of Minhun’s followers and my classmate told me about the recent tensions in their group.”

“Did Dongwook forgive Minhun?” I asked, but I already knew the answer. Dongwook had also realised what a betrayer Minhun was, but never dared to stand up against him But then he went to different high school, became a leader himself, didn’t move up to the next class twice and then found me - a person relatively similar to his ex-best friend, who he could torment without any worries.

“Of course he did,” Seunghyun’s answer almost made me burst out with a shout of surprise. My predictions about the continuation of this story burned to ashes. “I told you that Minhun was Dongwook’s idol. He would have never accused him of doing him any harm on purpose.”

“I can’t believe it!” I exclaimed, utterly confused. Was it really the same Dongwook I knew? The one who easily accused me of everything, even meeting his girlfriend?

“I couldn’t either. But Dongwook soon regretted his overestimations of Minhun. He had just left the hospital and they immediately started preparing a revenge on the Kiran gang for hurting leader’s right hand. They wanted to avenge Dongwook’s every bruise and cut by making every member of the other gang suffer. Minhun planned to lock them somewhere and beat them to unconsciousness without mercy. He had chosen an abandoned warehouse this time and sent fake messages to the Kiran gang, pretending to be their leader who wanted them to gather for a strategy meeting. Of course, none of Minhun’s followers knew that he was playing a double game and there wouldn’t be any great battle, he spoke about.

“That night he took Dongwook with him to that warehouse an hour before the set time of the meeting with other gang members. They decided to search for some additional weapons and soon found a tool cupboard under the stairs and when Dongwook entered the tiny dark room, Minhun shut the door behind him and locked it with a key he turned out to have.

“Dongwook spent two nights in that cupboard. My mom and grandma almost cried themselves to death, but I didn’t stop looking for him. My father couldn’t support me, because he was on one of his longer business trips to America and I somehow blame him for leaving us too frequently. He used to be the one who Dongwook respected the most and with his disappearance from our everyday life, no one could stop Dongwook from spending time with Minhun.

“We did many things to find my brother, after he hadn’t come back home for more than 24 hours, but there was no sign of him. Finally, we had to call the police, even though I knew Dongwook had done many illegal things in his short life and could have been punished for that. Fortunately, they found Dongwook in that warehouse. He was drained and scared to bits and we thought that this situation had changed him. And it did, but for worse. From that day on every member of my family hated Minhun for what he had done to Dongwook, and he was no longer an exception. He hated him from the bottom of his heart,” Seunghyun finished telling the story, but I still had many questions.

“Did he ever spoke to Minhun again?” I voiced the most important of them.

Seunghyun shook his head. “There was no such possibility.”

“Why? Because he didn’t want to or your parents didn’t let him? Or maybe Minhun moved to another city?”

Another head shake was an answer to my questions, but it wasn’t going to be the only one.

“Minhun died that night,” Seunghyun spoke in a low voice. “Or rather, he was murdered.”

Minhun… was murdered? His words echoed in my head.

Seunghyun and I stared at each other in complete silence for a short while. My mind was so full of thoughts, ideas and questions that I couldn’t concentrate on any of them. Instead my attention focused on the ticking of Seunghyun’s old fashioned clock standing on his night stand.

Tick.

Minhun was Dongwook’s friend.

Tock.

Minhun betrayed Dongwook.

Tick.

Minhun locked Dongwook in the cupboard.

Tock.

Minhun was murdered after leaving Dongwook in the warehouse.

Something was wrong there. There clearly were some unexplained details and many elements that my curious memory wanted to investigate.

But still my heart felt insecure. It was this kind of feeling that I often got, when I needed to think about something important, but I couldn’t remember what it was. Unsorted thoughts raced through my mind that seemed to be swollen from excess of ingested information.

Tick.

Dongwook idolised Minhun.

Tock.

Dongwook forgave Minhun.

Tick.

Dongwook spent two days in a dark cupboard because of Minhun.

Tock.

Dongwook didn’t have a chance to speak to Minhun. Nor to get a revenge.

Because Minhun was dead.

But I was alive. And Dongwook liked taking advantage of that. He wanted to make me suffer instead of Minhun, who could only suffer in hell now. It was unfair, but I could understand Dongwook’s way of thinking. It made me feel sick, because I realised that he somehow wished me death. He couldn’t kill Minhun who was already dead, so he chose me.

But I wouldn’t let him do it. Oh no, I wouldn’t stay silent and watch him destroy me. I wasn’t any saviour of souls, but I somehow felt obliged to take some actions. Being Minhun’s doppelganger brought me misery, but I decided to use it as an advantage. And finally talk to Dongwook.

I needed to do some research first. It wasn’t that I doubted in Seunghyun’s words, but I wanted to hear another version of that story. To get answers to my questions from another sources.

Because both Dongwook’s soul here on Earth and Minhun’s soul somewhere in eternity needed my help. The three of us needed to discover what had happened that night. Why did Minhun lock Dongwook in the dark warehouse? Seunghyun’s theory that he wanted to get rid of his competition had sense until you took into consideration that Minhun actually died after leaving the warehouse. Maybe he wanted to protect Do-

Bitterness suddenly filled my throat.

Minhun locked Dongwook in the cupboard.

Dongwook spent two days in a dark cupboard because of Minhun.

My wild heartbeats suddenly filled my ears, stunning me. I set my terrified gaze on Seunghyun who was still sitting beside me.

“What’s wrong, Ji?” he asked with a frown.

I opened my mouth to speak, but any sound didn’t come out of it. I tried clearing my throat and made another attempt. “S-Seunghyun,” my voice sounded rusty and it matched the bitter feeling that poured itself into every cell in my whole body. “I-is Dongwook a-at home?”

Seunghyun’s frown went deeper as he stared at me in disbelief.

“Yeah, I guess,” he answered my question after a short while of resistance. “His classes were cancelled today, so he stayed at home. But it isn’t a good idea to go to him,” he added, when I was already on my feet.

I realised that Dongwook had lied to his family. His classes hadn't been cancled. I knew it, because we were attanding the same class. It seemed that he simply had other plans for today. And I only hoped they weren't what I thought.

“I-I have to go and see him now,” I rasped, removing my hand from Seunghyun’s grasp slowly. “It’s important.”

My eyes locked with his and I tried hard to convince him that it was an urgent matter.

“Okay,” Seunghyun gave up with a sigh. “His room is the last door in the corridor.”

“Thank you!” I placed a kiss on his forehead and left his bedroom quickly.

There were three doors to choose, but a big Dru Hill poster on one of them told me which I should knock on. I did it with a shaking hand, but there was no answer. I repeated my action, but again I got the same result.

My heart was banging hard against my ribcage, because it slowly was making itself clear, that my assumptions were true. I tried knocking for the third time and then decided to press the door handle. The door opened, revealing empty dark room. I found the light switch on the wall and at the exact moment the lamps were , I shot a quick look at the bed to check, if Dongwook wasn’t sleeping there. However, the bed was empty and I felt my heart sinking down in my chest.

I decided to look around the place, but when I made a step forward, something cracked under my feet. I looked down, scared that I made any damage in Dongwook’s bedroom, but then I realised that something that was scattered on the wooden paneling had been already broken by someone else. Someone else being probably the owner of the place.

I lowered into a squat and recognised tiny pieces of glass that created a crystal halo around a rectangular piece of cardboard. I took the object in my hands, trying not to cut my fingers with the glass and discovered that it was actually a back of glass clip photo frame. I turned it and gasped. The clip frame had no longer a glass, but it did have a photo.

A photo of me! I cried internally, but I quickly realised that it wasn’t true.

It was a photo of Kim Minhun.

I didn’t have to ask myself why it was lying broken in the middle of the room. I had already known the answer.

“Jiyong!” I heard Seunghyun’s voice from the corridor and he soon emerged in the doorway. “Mom says Dongwook had went to school, because he had something important to do. We tried calling him, but his phone is switched off.”

“Seunghyun,” I looked up to meet his gaze. “We have to go back to school,” I said with my heart beating like a drum. “I think- I think I’ve done something horrible.”

Fortunately, Seunghyun didn’t ask any questions and I was really grateful to him for doing so.

We quickly drove to school and I only hoped it wasn’t too late and it hadn’t been already closed. I remembered that it was usually opened till 8 o’clock, so we still had about 20 minutes to fix my mistake.

The parking gate turned out to be open and there was light in some windows. Relief washed over me at this sight and I unfastened the seatbelt quickly, shooting last glance at Seunghyun who repeated my action.

“Seunghyun, I’ll go there alone,” I spoke. “Please, stay here and have your phone ready. I’ll call you, if I need your help.”

Seunghyun was about to protest, but I had already jumped out of the car and started running towards the entrance.

Dongwook, I still hope I won’t find you in that storeroom.

I waved at the surprised janitor sitting in the monitoring room and dashed down the stairs so fast that I prayed not to slip and break my neck. That would leave two Minhuns dead after locking Dongwook somewhere in a dark place. And I had already realised that history had a way of repeating itself.

I was breathing heavily after my run and had to stop in front of the storeroom door to regain some air to fill my lungs. I rested my hands over my knees and drew a few deep breaths that unfortunately didn’t make my heart beat slow down. After a short while I decided that there was no use in further hesitation. I fought against a willingness to call Seunghyun, because I knew I had to face Dongwook myself. If he really was in that storeroom.

My fingers were trembling as I unlocked the door with Mrs. Hwang’s key and twisted the knob, pushing forward.

“Dongwook?” I asked and my shaking voice echoed in the room. Familiar smells filled my nose, making me wince. “Dongwook?” I repeated with another step forward.

In reaction I heard a quiet whimpering that made me straighten up in fear. He was there, somewhere in the darkness and I knew I had to find him quickly.

“Dongwook, where are you?” I asked, trying to sound soothing and reassuring.

I heard him sniffing somewhere relatively close and I suddenly reminded myself about the flashlight Taeyang left on the cupboard near the door. I found it quickly and thanks to it, it hadn’t been long before I found the brunet curled against the wall. He was sitting in a fetal position, his arms wrapped around his legs, head lying on his knees.

I swallowed hard and came closer to him, almost on the tips of my toes. I didn’t want to scare him. I was scared enough for both of us.

“Let’s go home, shall we?” I bent down and touched Dongwook’s hand. His head jerked up and he opened his heavy eyelids to look at me.

The gaze of these eyes, that had always frightened me, made me freeze.

“Minhun,” Dongwook spoke quietly. “You’ve come back for me. I knew you would.”

Time had turned back for Dongwook. He found himself in that warehouse once again, with his best friend that came back to take him home.

The only problem was that I wasn’t Minhun.

I was Jiyong. And I had no idea what to do now.

Should I pretend to be Dongwook’s friend? But how, if I had no idea how he used to behave?

I stared at Dongwook, while trying to invent another solution, but then a great idea came to my mind.

My eyes narrowed as I spoke, “Of course I have, pabo.” And then I smirked. Smirked the way I hoped Minhun had always done.

Dongwook’s reaction was instant. His eyes filled with familiar aggression I had got used to see in them and before I had managed to step away from him, he caught my hands in a firm grasp and jumped to his feet. The flashlight fell on the floor with a deafening plunk and rolled away, lighting up the wall behind Dongwook’s back. The wall I was soon pressed to with my hands over my head.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this moment, Minhunnie,” Dongwook hissed in my face, his eyes sparkling with anger.

Blood in my veins froze at the sound of that pet name. He said it the same way he was always calling me ‘Jiyongie’.

“I’ve been planning my ravage for such a long time… And finally! You’re here with me. In dark sleazy storeroom I was going to lock you in,” he sneered at me, looking straight into my eyes that betrayed my terror. “Oh, you’re right, I’ve remembered that you have claustrophobia. But don’t worry, I haven’t shared your secret with anyone. A leader doesn’t have any weak points, does he?” he laughed to himself, tightening the grip on my hands that were painfully squeezed against the cold wall. “You probably think I’m claustrophobic, too, hmm? But the fact is, I’m not. During all that time I spent in the cupboard I wasn’t’ caring about the darkness. My thoughts were concentrated on how much I hate you for fooling me. I had trusted you, Minhun.”

Suddenly, he let go of my hands that flopped along my sides. One heartbeat was enough for me to jump away from Dongwook in the attempt of running away. However, my actions were blocked by his quick appearance in front of me and a forceful punch on my face. I fell against the wall, shocked and devastated. But Dongwook hadn’t finished yet.

He attacked me with his whole body weight, pressing me against the scabrous surface.

“You’ve destroyed my plan, Minhunnie. I can’t lock you in this storeroom,” he whispered into my ear, causing my whole body to tremble.

Am I saved? I thought in hope.

Oh, how wrong I was. And Dongwook proved it shortly by wrapping his long fingers around my neck. I gasped for a breath, but the sudden closeness of my Adam’s apple and trachea made it impossible.

“How could you do that to me, Minhun?” Dongwook’s voice sounded different. Less aggressive, but still bitter. “I thought we were best friends. We could rule the world together. You and I.”

His freezing cold digits tightened the deadly grasp, causing black spots to appear in front of my eyes. I had used the air stored in my lungs and they were now painfully crying for a fresh breath. Dongwook was still talking to me, or rather to Minhun he thought I was, but I wasn’t listening to him. I focused on keeping myself alive, trying to stimulate my brain cells that were slowly dying due to oxygen deficiency, but my mind preferred to think about Seunghyun. Seunghyun seemed to be more important than my own life. What would he do, if I die now? Would he kill Dongwook? Or maybe-

“Do you hear me, Minhun?!” Dongwook suddenly yelled in my face, releasing his lethal hold on my neck. I choked at the unexpected access to air and felt like fainting and vomiting at the same time.

Dongwook’s hands moved to my shoulders and he shook me, because my numb head lolled to the side.

“Minhun!” Dongwook sounded desperate. He grabbed my chin to look at him, so I obediently set my empty gaze on his face.

He leaned to me in a slow motion and sealed his mouth over mine. I was sure he was going to perform CPR on me, but I noted he did it all wrong. I should be lying down on the floor, with my head tilt up, nose pinched and-

Only when Dongwook’s tongue suddenly my lower lip, demanding entrance to the inside of my mouth, did I become aware that it wasn’t CPR. Dongwook was kissing me. Seunghyun’s brother was actually kissing my mouth fiercely and my benumbed mind suddenly awoke at this realisation. I groaned against his lips, what was a big mistake, because it enabled Dongwook’s tongue to penetrate my mouth from the inside. I was screaming internally, but was too weak to push him away. My eyes were too dry to produce any tears, but my whole soul was crying.

Seunghyun. Seunghyun. Hyunnie.

I should have asked Seunghyun to come here with me, everything would have been different then. I was such a fool to think that Dongwook wanted to talk to Minhun. Pretending to be him was the stupidest idea I had ever had. There was nothing I regretted more.

I let Dongwook do what he wanted, there was nothing else I was able to do. I tried to ignore him the best I could, but the problem was he was stealing my freshly regained breath that made my sore lungs suffer. I considered biting his tongue, but then he finally pulled back.

I slumped to the floor like a puppet which strings had been suddenly cut off. I breathed with difficulty, keeping my hands on my heart. Dongwook seemed to peter away and he fell under his trembling legs.

We were sitting on the floor, both breathing heavily. My poor heart was banging against my ribcage and every cell in my body kept telling me to pull myself together and run away, but I was too mentally and physically drained to move.

After a few minutes our breaths softened and I slowly came back to my senses. I could feel every part of my body that hurt - my wrists, my cheek, my neck, my swollen and abused lips and most of all - my chest.

“I’m sorry,” I suddenly heard Dongwook speak. “I’m so sorry, Jiyong.”

What? 

“I’m a beast. I’m so sorry,” he repeated, covering his face in his hands. “Jiyong, please, forgive me.”

Much as I wanted to say something, words got stuck in my throat. Or maybe Dongwook had damaged something by his attempts of garrotting me.

“I had to check, if I still feel-,” he stopped, but he didn’t have to continue.

‘if I still feel something towards Minhun.’

Dongwook slowly rose to his feet and extended his hand to me. Without a saying anything, he helped me stand up and we left the damned storeroom. It turned out that Dongwook had a spare key, so he was the one to close the door behind us. I had a feeling that I wouldn’t have been able to do it myself, because I had hard time controlling my limbs. It was a miracle that I was able to walk.

Dongwook opened the car door for me and I sidled into the passenger seat. Seunghyun looked at me and smiled, having not noticed what state I was in. He was probably happy that I had saved his brother, that I had managed to expiate my doppelganger’s sins.

How should I tell him what had actually happened? How to put it in the right words not to make him burst out in anger?

Seunghyun switched the engine on, when Dongwook took his seat, and we drove for a minute in silence.

“Seunghyun,” Dongwook suddenly spoke. “I kissed Jiyong.”

I felt blood running down my face and shot a quick glance at Seunghyun, whose fingers tightened on the steering wheel.

“For that, I’m sorry,” Dongwook continued.

Did he want to kill us?! Making Seunghyun angry while he was a driver, wasn’t a good idea and he should have known that.

I couldn’t see Seunghyun’s expression, because it was too dark, but I sensed his negative emotions that started radiating from him.

That idiot Dongwook! Not only did he hurt me, but also Seunghyun!

I started trembling like a leaf and felt panic’s slick fingers embracing every part of my devastated body.

When the car stopped in the driveway in front of Choi manor and Seunghyun didn’t switch the engine off, I realised that something was wrong.

“Dongwook, get out,” Seunghyun snarled, his foreign tone making the hair on my hands bristle.

Dongwook obeyed without a word of complaint, leaving us alone.

“Seunghyun-,“ I started, but then Seunghyun pressed the accelerator and drove away.

I had no idea what was going on. Wasn’t I supposed to spend the night at Seunghyun’s place?

“Where are we going?” I asked as we sped along the dark streets.

Seunghyun didn’t answer, but I soon recognised the area. After a minute we found ourselves in front of my house. This time the car was turned off by the driver and he took his hands off of the steering wheel.

“Jiyong,” he said again in that strange tone, looking in my direction. “Why did you kiss my brother?”

I my breath in. “I didn’t! It was him, I didn’t-“

My explanations were interrupted, because Seunghyun’s lips suddenly crushed with mine and he started kissing me aggressively, biting my lips and tongue, claiming absolute dominance over my mouth.

Even though Seunghyun’s kisses always made me melt and drown in affection, this time I didn’t feel like making out. I was tired and abused by Dongwook and wanted Seunghyun to cuddle with me in his bed and appease my besmeared body.

“Seunghyun, stop,” I demanded, when he pulled away for air.

“Have you said that to my brother?” he growled back, making me choke on my breath.

His started the sensitive skin on my neck, leaving bites as his mouth was traveling down to my shoulder.

“Stop, please,” I begged, feeling tears gathering under my lower lids.

But he didn’t listen to my pleas. His lips came back to mine and kissed them sharply with the use of his teeth. I felt bitter-sweet taste of blood and let out a long whine.

“Seunghyun,” I choked out through tears. “I don’t like it.”

He completely ignored me and it even seemed that my moans encouraged him to do more. He was my ear, causing my face to heat up and burn in flames of unwanted caress. And then I felt his palm in a very dangerous zone. He slipped his hand between my thighs and began my crotch through my jeans.

I gasped in shock and fidgeted in the seat to free myself from his bad touch, but it gave no effect. Seunghyun’s palm cupped my growing and massaged it through the fabric, even though I protested as loud as I could. When his fingers suddenly reached for the zipper of my trousers, I decided it was enough.

“Stop it, stop!” I exclaimed.

My hand managed to find the buckle button and pressed it and I pushed Seunghyun away with the other hand at the same time. The seat belt hit Seunghyun’s chin and I jumped out of the car, shutting the door behind me.

It was a miracle that I found way to my bedroom with such a blurry vision. But crying was the only thing I could do and tears were all that I had after this day that seemed to have been an endless déjà vu.

I thought I had shared Minhun’s fate. Eventually, I died, too.