I want to dedicate this chapter to all my subscribers and readers! I love you all, your comments always give me motivation to write more! <3 I hope I won’t disappoint you this time :)

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 L for Lying, L for Love

(Jiyong’s P.O.V)

It was the biggest Christmas tree I had ever seen. An enormous one. A Christmas tree for a family of giants. I was sure that if it started falling, it would kill plenty of people, the most of the crowd gathered in the central part of Noon Square department store. No one would manage to run to an exit or hide. There was simply no place to move, so let’s forget about running. Where did all these people come from? The whole Seoul decided to rush into Christmas shopping spree exactly when I visited Myeong-Dong on my own for the first time? I betted that they did it on purpose.

Hey, let’s go shopping, they had probably said. Maybe Kwon Jiyong won’t find T.O.P, if we all go there!

So they had called their friends, family and relatives and turned their strategy into action. Now they were slowly wandering around the Christmas tree or walking at a sluggish pace towards shops and escalators, proud of themselves that they had managed to block the way and my field of vision.

They deserve to be killed by the giant tree, I thought to myself and pouted.

I was standing there, in the middle of that crowd engulfed by shopping frenzy, and only counted times when paper bags hit my back or children bumped into me. It reminded me why I hated such places. But despite all of these annoying people around me, my good mood didn’t disappear. However narcissistically it might sound, I felt better than everyone in my surrounding.

For the hundredth time I ran fingers through my soft hair and my lips twitched into a smile. I couldn’t control it, today I was smiling like crazy. I found it especially amusing how often people smiled back at me. It only reassured me that I had achieved what I had ever wanted.

It didn’t matter how much I detested shopping centres or big crowds of good-looking self-absorbed people, because today I became a part of this crowd. I wasn’t Kwon Jiyong who felt forced to leave his cosy room and go to the city centre. Today I was G-Dragon and I graced this place with my presence.

I giggled under my breath and wanted to bring my hand to my lips, but stopped halfway, having realised that even if I started laughing here out loud, no one would probably think that I was insane or something. They would only be like ‘Oh such a pretty boy, he laughs in such a cute way’. They say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but it seemed quite clear to me that people’s reactions to me would be much different, if I was standing there, wearing my typical clothes and having my messy hairdo.

But here I was, dressed in an intense pink shirt and navy blue blazer I had bought earlier this day, and my sister’s skinny washed-out jeans in a colour of bubble gum - it was a miracle that I had managed to fit into these pants, but everyone would admit I looked incredibly good in them. For the first time, I felt so comfortable in my own body. That feeling was even stronger thanks to my new hair colour that I simply adored. I finally looked exactly like my inner self and I wanted to enjoy this moment, avoiding thinking how my parents and Seunghyun would react, seeing me as a blonde.

Enormous clock above the main entrance showed that it was exactly 3 p.m. I breathed in and out slowly, suddenly losing composure.

Calm down, Jiyong, I told myself. You only have to stick to your plan.

I nodded to myself and recalled the whole scenario I had made in my mind. Firstly, when I find T.O.P, we would go to a café or a small restaurant. There were hundreds of such places in Myeong-Dong, so it wouldn’t be a problem to find a good one, even if I had never visited any of them. There was a note to myself - ‘Don’t call any place your favourite. It would be a lie and you want to stop lying’. The next point was talking - I hoped T.O.P wouldn’t occur to be some kind of astonishing person and I would be able to speak with him normally, as we always did through the Internet. And the last, but the most important - I would confess to all my lies. Maybe not all, because there were too many of them, but I made a mental list of the most crucial things. I prayed that T.O.P would understand and appreciate my willingness to start telling only truth.

If everything goes smoothly, it will be a beginning of a real friendship. No more lying, no more fake messages. We will forget about all these lies.

I smiled to myself, but after a millisecond my grin faded because I noticed a pink spot in the mass of people in front of me. My heart started beating faster, but it was soon filled with disappointment when the person turned out be a fat old man in a baby pink baggy t-shirt with a few stains of something greasy on it. I winced and felt a shiver full of disgust running down my spine. Fortunately, the man ignored me completely, but his appearance made me wonder what would happen, if T.O.P was some kind of old ert. He would kidnap me and hold hostage until my parents give him unbelievable sum of money. They would have to sell our house and my father’s car. Or they could convince Seunghyun to pay the ransom.

I should have asked him to come here with me.

I would feel much safer, having Seunghyun by my side. But on the other hand, it would be too hard to explain to him who T.O.P was. What would I tell him? That T.O.P used to be my only friend before I bumped into Seunghyun that day in front of school and he had finally noticed me? No, thanks. Seunghyun didn’t have to discover another pathetic side of me. And he might get angry, or even jealous?, that I was meeting with another man. So all in all, it was better not to tell him anything about T.O.P.

I stood on my tiptoes and looked around. T.O.P was getting late. Maybe he forgot that we had changed the meeting place from outside of the Noon Square to its main hall. I didn’t feel like going outside, so I hoped he remembered and would appear here soon. My eyes wandered around the crowd, when I suddenly noticed a familiar face. I looked harder, utterly surprised, as I realised that the person was Seunghyun. From my spot I saw only his head. He was approaching the Christmas tree and looked as if he was looking for someone.

What a coincidence! A thought passed though my mind and I was about to call Seunghyun’s name, so that he would notice me, though I doubted he would even hear my voice in such a commotion.

But then Seunghyun’s eyes met mine and I saw shock in them. For a moment I thought that he was surprised only by my presence in central Seoul, but then I reminded myself of my blond hair. My hand lifted to touch it and I froze in this position. My ears suddenly filled with loud heartbeats and all the noise around me disappeared.

All of sudden, no one was standing in Seunghyun’s way and I was able to see him from head to toe. And what I saw almost scared me to death.

Seunghyun was wearing a jacket. Beautiful, nice-sewn jacket. A jacket that must have been really expensive.

A jacket in the colour of Persian rose. Or how an average person would call it - pink.

“No…,” I whispered to myself, my eyes wide with shock.

Seunghyun was coming closer and closer and I realised that he was actually T.O.P who came here to meet G-Dragon. And it somehow happened that G-Dragon was me.

My heart was bumping that hard that I was almost sure it wanted to jump out of my chest. Everyone around me stopped and turned black and white. All I saw was Seunghyun approaching me, his pink blazer dazzling my eyes.

“No,” I repeated and turned around, moving like in slow motion.

Only when I lost sight of Seunghyun and his pink jacket, did I regain my senses. People were no longer in monochrome colours and started moving again. And I thanked them for that. The crowd separated me from Seunghyun, but it also meant I had to get through the mass in front of me. Not thinking too much, I set my elbows at a defensive angle and kept going, making people step aside at the pressure.

“Jiyong!” I heard him shout and it made my heart hurt. “Jiyong, wait!”

So he has recognised me, I noticed bitterly. There is no way I will manage to explain it…

With my pulse quicker than ever, I decided to do the thing I was the best at. Running away. It was the only solution.

I managed to reach one of the passages. Satisfaction and relief ran through my body, when I saw that it wasn’t as crowded as the main hall, but I still would be able to easily disappear among the people. I was about to dash forward at the highest speed, when I felt a strong grip on my forearm.

I lost.

“Jiyong,” Seunghyun gasped behind me. “Why are you running away?”

What?! I wanted to exclaim, but words got stuck in my throat.

I spun around slowly.

“You don’t know why?” I heard my voice speaking and I wanted to choke back the sentences that were slipping out of my mouth. “You’ve noticed who I am. Jiyong. Are you sure you wanted to meet me today?”

It wasn’t me speaking. I would never say anything like that. It was G-Dragon. G-Dragon took over control of me. It seemed this defensive mask was my back-up plan.

Seunghyun shot me a surprised look and frowned. His lips narrowed to a thin line and I thought he must have been analysing the situation. He finally looked up and his gaze locked on mine. His expression relaxed.

“Jiyong,” he said in a soft soothing voice. “Let me explain it-“

“There is nothing to explain,” I snapped, unable to control myself. “Don’t touch me,” I added when I felt his hand moving up from my forearm to my elbow. I pushed it away and made a step backward.

I have to run. Run before I hurt him even more.

“Jiyong, please, don’t run away,” he pleaded, his gaze studying my irate face, looking for any signs of his old Jiyong. But there was no point in doing so - now I was G-Dragon, both mentally and physically. “You’ve set this meeting for something, right?”

“Yes I did. You want me to stay? Fine!” I said in a cold voice that made blood in my veins freeze. “You know what was the purpose of this meeting? I wanted to end a fictional relationship based on lies. But I had no idea I will have to end a relationship with you, Seunghyun.”

“Jiyong, no, wait!” He looked utterly confused, but something else was visible in his eyes. Despair, I noticed, but remained unconcerned on the surface. “It wasn’t supposed to look like that… I thought it was going to be…” He stopped, trying to find right words. “I don’t even know how to call it… I thought you wanted to finish this internet thing in a good style.”

A bitter chuckle escaped from my mouth. I wanted to bite my tongue off - it sounded so wrong, so fake. It wasn’t me. It couldn’t be me!

It really terrified me. I had always wanted to become G-Dragon. To look like him. To behave like him. My inner self used to be a good advisor, a voice of courage that I lacked being Jiyong. But now I wanted him to disappear, to leave me alone with Seunghyun, so that I would hug him and beg for forgiveness.

But I had lost all the control. No, I had given it to G-Dragon myself. Now it was too late to regain it.

“I no longer know what my style is,” I told Seunghyun him. “But maybe you can tell me, Seunghyun? Who am I to you, Jiyong or G-Dragon?” It was G-Dragon who asked that question, but it gave me hope that I would manage to come back to being me, Jiyong. It all depended on Seunghyun’s answer.

“You’re both!” He replied quickly. “You’ve always been!”

“So you knew about this?” It was the last thing I said being Jiyong. Then the presence of this shy tender-hearted boy curled up somewhere in the back of my mind, becoming a passive bystander.

“Y-Yeah,” Seunghyun hesitated. “I’ve realised it-“

“When?!” G-Dragon snapped, looking Seunghyun straight in the eyes.

“I guess I had a feeling from the very beginning- Jiyong, wait!” He exclaimed, because I started tuning around.

“Leave me alone, please,” I told him, being under control of G-Dragon, but Jiyong agreed with him only this time. Just let me go, Seunghyun!

“You can’t do this to me,” he begged, his voice shaking with emotions. “Not after all we’ve come through together!”

“After all your lies, you wanted to say,” G-Dragon was getting more and more worked up.

Seunghyun looked as if I had stabbed him with a dagger straight into his heart.

“We both were lying, Jiyong,” he said coldly

“I thought I was lying to someone else! How could I know it was you?!” G-Dragon cried. “You didn’t tell me!”

“I didn’t know how!”

“But you should have tried! We have been meeting every day for last few weeks! Was it really that hard to say a word?! What have been doing and thinking all that time?!”

“I did try,” Seunghyun bordered on desperation. “Yesterday, in front of your house. But you didn’t let me speak. I was sure you had realised who I was. You told me you knew.”

I froze, overwhelmed by the meaning of his words. The size of this misunderstanding almost pinned me down to the ground. If only I had listened to him! Even G-Dragon calmed down a little, for this short while any of his thoughts didn’t fill my mind.

My expression must have changed, because Seunghyun’s eyes lit up with hope.

“Jiyong, it really doesn’t matter,” he said and made a step towards me. G-Dragon made me step backwards, afraid that Seunghyun’s touch would awake Jiyong. “It changes nothing…”

“For me it changes everything!” G-Dragon shouted. “I would never… never look you again in the eye… I can’t stand it!”

Because I really couldn’t. After all the lies I told T.O.P… Seunghyun knew what a pathetic person I was. I was sure he would never trust me again. It was such a shame. I wasn’t worth to even look at him.

“I’m sorry,” I managed to say and lowered my gaze.

“Please, don’t leave!” Seunghyun’s hands rested on my shoulders and he shook me gently to look at him, but I didn’t obey. “Let’s talk about it. We can forget it all!”

It’s too hard, Seunghyun.

I put my hands on his wrists and found enough courage to look up.

“I’m afraid it’s too late,” I started, trying to sound confident, but my voice was shaking. “Let me go, T.O.P!” I released myself from his grip and pushed him away. “We have never been true friends, so this is a goodbye.” And with that sentence I turned around and I started dashing forward as fast as I could, leaving Seunghyun in the middle of the passage. He was standing there alone, with his hands trembling with hopelessness.

I wanted to pretend I didn’t care and concentrated only on running. But then I suddenly stopped. G-Dragon’s mean voice disappeared. I was back to my old self and all the pain Jiyong felt during the talk with Seunghyun finally reached me. I almost fell to my knees. Tears came hot and fast and after a second my chest was heaving with sobs.

I looked back, hoping to see Seunghyun who ran after me, but there were only strangers, observing me with their brows raised or completely ignoring my presence.

There were no words to describe how much I hated myself right now. How could I say such things to Seunghyun? I had burned my bridges. He would never forgive me.

I decided to leave the shopping mall and come back home. I wouldn’t stand running into Seunghyun somewhere in Noon Square. The awareness that he knew about all my lies made it hard to even think about a possible encounter. My fingers clenched into fists and even more tears spilled over my bottom lids, when I recalled all the things I had told T.O.P about myself. Not only had I claimed to attend an arts school in Seoul, but also that I was very popular. Who was my father? A fashion company owner. And my mom was a haute couture photographer. I had my own loft in the city centre and many friends who visited me in the evenings.

It all made my heart tear into pieces.

Seunghyun knew everything. I was surprised that he wanted to waste his time for such a liar like me. It felt so wrong that I decided to keep away from him. Never let myself touch him or talk to him, afraid that I would see distrust in his eyes. It would make me suffer even more.

I was a coward. All I could do was running away.

Cool air hit my face, when I pushed the exit door and found myself outside. It was already dark and Myeong-Dong looked completely different than when I had arrived here before midday. Even more people appeared in the streets. It was Saturday, so they had probably nothing better to do. They were dawdling down the narrow alley, their faces illuminated by colourful neon lights, enjoying their evening.

I didn’t share their delectation at all. Instead I felt really powerless and lost. I had no idea where I was. I left Noon Square by different exit and I didn’t know how to find my bus stop. I drew a deep breath and made a plan of action. I had to find the main road, get on the bus and come back to my cosy room. I’d sank into the pillows and cry all night long.

What would be next? I didn’t know. I considered changing schools and disappearing from Seunghyun’s life.

I put on my coat and mixed with the crowd, hoping it was heading towards the main road. Tears were freezing on my cheeks, but I wasn’t able to hold them back.

Where are you, G-Dragon, when I need to pull myself together?!  I shouted internally, but G-Dragon didn’t answer.

I guessed I was insane. It was a sign of mental illness - talking with your inner self and having fights against it. I had thought that today it would be over, that Jiyong and G-Dragon had finally become one. I was so wrong. Dyeing hair and dressing in expensive clothes only made me switch shy Jiyong to self-confident G-Dragon. And it didn’t have any positive effect.

The worst thing was that I was able to understand G-Dragon’s attitude. He represented that part of me that was angry. Not at Seunghyun, but angry overall. Angry that my long-awaited meeting with T.O.P turned out be something much different, simply destroying my plans. And Seunghyun became a victim of this anger. It was the next thing to be ashamed of.

I sighed and looked around, but didn’t recognise the place. The crowd led me to completely unknown part of Myeong-dong. I decided to turn right, then left and once again right to come back to Noon Square, but it occurred that the alleys weren’t perpendicular and I got lost for good. I couldn’t find the way out of this maze.

After an hour or so I gave up on my attempts to find Noon Square or my bus stop. I felt so tired by walking and crying that my legs were trembling and I wouldn’t be able to make another step forward. I stopped in some kind of cafés district. The place was square-shaped with a big fountain in the middle. I would consider it a quite romantic spot, but I wasn’t really in the mood. I sat on a bench beside the fountain and thanked God that I found a place to rest, even though it was covered with ice.

I was sitting there for a while, gazing at nothing. Only one word repeated in my mind.

Seunghyun. Seunghyun. Seunghyun.

I wanted him to come here and save me, but at the same time I wished we could never meet again.

How can I stop lying to people, when I still lie to myself?

It seemed that I had no choice and had to call Dami. I tried to avoid it and fend for myself, because I knew Dami would be making fun of me, but now I only wanted to find myself at home. I put my hand into coat pocket and found my phone. At the exact moment when my fingers touched cold surface of the device, it started vibrating, making me jump at a spot and throw the phone on the ground.

“Please, don’t be broken,” I begged it and slowly approached still vibrating phone. I lowered to a squat and picked it up. One brief look at the screen was enough to make me want to throw the phone into the fountain. Or hug it. I had expected to see it so cracked that my parents would kill me, but instead it was me who wanted to commit self-murder.

‘Incoming call - Seunghyun ^_^’ surprised me completely.

Why does he even want to talk to me? After all I said…?

I stared at the phone, probably trying to decline the call with power of my glance, because I wouldn’t be able to do it with my trembling fingers. Finally, my spell worked and phone stopped vibrating. Fighting against hesitation, I unlocked the keypad and, to my own astonishment, discovered 15 missed calls from Seunghyun.

I sat on the bench with my heart beating fast and wondered what he wanted from me.

We have never been true friends, so this is a goodbye, echoed in my mind and I brought up the phone to my forehead and started hitting it with the device.

Stupid G-Dragon. Stupid Jiyong!

I wanted to make the phone meet my head for the sixth time, but suddenly someone grabbed my wrist and prevented me from doing so. My heart froze for a second, but I quickly realised that it was a female grip. I looked up and couldn’t believe my own eyes.

“Bom!” I exclaimed, utterly surprised. “What are you doing here?”

I observed the familiar waitress from ‘Land of sweets’ café as she smiled at me softly and sat next to me. Her honey blond hair was up in a high ponytail and she had funny furrow earmuffs on her head.

“I should be the one asking that question,” she said. “Do you know that you have eyeliner all over your face?”

My mouth opened in shock and I quickly started rubbing my cheeks to get rid of black bruises from my face.

“So Jiyong-ssi, what has happened to you?” Bom asked. “I mean - you looked different last time we met.”

“Oh,” I sighed and touched my blond hair as I always did, when I thought about it or someone mentioned it. “I was fed up with my natural colour,” a lie slipped out of my mouth before I managed to stop it.

“Really?” Bom cocked her head to the side in a childish gesture, what reminded me that she was a fairy. Lying to fairy is always a bad idea.

“Well…,” I started. “I wanted to impress a friend.”

“A friend?” she asked and looked me in the eyes expectantly.

I began plying with my thumbs, suddenly nervous.

“It’s a long story,” I mumbled, keeping my gaze downcast.

“Tell me,” she asked. “I have some time before the meeting with my friends, because I left home too early. It’d be nice to spend this while talking to you, Jiyong-ssi.”

I bit my lower lip, feeling her gaze on me. I didn’t know why but I really felt like telling her everything. I supposed she was my fairy godmother or someone of that kind and I internally wanted to hear her advice.

“Okay,” I sighed and began my story. And I told her everything, everything from the beginning. I didn’t know how long we were sitting there and how it was possible that I had no difficulties with talking to Bom, but I thought that it was something good. Having shared the burden of my problems, it had grown easier to bear. Bom was a good listener, she didn’t interrupt me and only asked a few questions, probably trying to understand my wicked personality. I confessed to all my feelings towards Seunghyun without being afraid that Bom might judge me because of it.

“…and then I ran away from the shopping centre and got lost here,” I finally finished and lowered my head. “I really regret leaving him there, without a word of explanation.”

“You should tell Seunghyun about it,” Bom put her hand on mine and squeezed it gently. “He will understand.”

“I can’t look him in the eye,” I shook my head and felt tears gathering under my bottom lids. “I’m such a liar, Bom. I hate myself.”

“Jiyong-ssi, you can’t say such things!” She rebuked me. “You should turn that hatred into willingness to change yourself. I guess it’s something good that Seunghyun knows who you are and you have realised who he is. Wasn’t he also lying to you?”

I nodded slowly. G-Dragon had expostulated Seunghyun that fact, but he meant hiding the awareness of my both identities. Now when I was thinking about it, I realised that TO.P had also told me some things that considered now occurred to be false and didn’t match Seunghyun.

“It seems that we both are liars,” I concluded my thoughts.

“So you have another thing in common,” Bom giggled under her breath and her fairy laugh made me smile slightly. “I believe it will let you start from the beginning. But this time without any lies.”

“You really gave me hope, Bom,” I told her, according to what I felt. “Thank you so much. I think I needed someone like you to make everything clear to me.”

“You’re welcome,” she squeezed my hand for the last time and looked at her watch. “Oh, I had no idea it’s so late! So now it’s my friends who are waiting for me! I have to go, Jiyong-ssi!”

I thanked her once again and when she was about to leave me, a sudden idea struck my mind.

“Bom, wait!” I exclaimed, making her stop. “How do I get to main road?”

Bom gave me directions and wrote her phone number on a piece of paper and let me call her, if got lost again. Thanks to her help, I managed to find the way out of this terrible maze of shopping alleys. After a few minutes of walk, I reached the main road, but it was too early to celebrate success. I still couldn’t recognise the area. Trying to calm myself down, I decided to find a bus stop. And there actually was one not far away from me. The only problem was that it wasn’t a stop of a bus I arrived with to Myeong-Dong and any names of the streets other buses went to didn’t sound familiar. I went to the other side of the road by an underground pedestrian crossing, but finding a bus stop on the opposite side of the street didn’t help me.

I wanted to draw a deep breath, but when I opened my mouth a groan of despair slipped out of it.

Why am I lost again? I asked myself and assumed that it must have been a punishment for my behaviour towards Seunghyun. I was on the edge, tired both physically and mentally. What am I supposed to do?

Once again I didn’t manage to hold back tears and there was no one who could comfort me.

I found my phone in a pocket and then started searching for Bom’s number written on a piece of paper. Finally having it in my hand, I started entering the number, but suddenly stopped. Bom was in the middle of a meeting with her friends, she wouldn’t come here to help me.

I swallowed hard and pressed the call button to phone the first number on my call history list.  

“Jiyong?” I heard Seunghyun’s voice on the phone and I was no longer able to pretend that I didn’t care about him.

“S-Seunghyun-,” I started, but my voice sounded so weak that I choked. “I-I want to go home,” I had no idea what to say, so I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind.

“Jiyong, where are you?” Seunghyun seemed to be worried.

“I- I don’t know, Seunghyun,” I answered, feeling tear drops running down my chin. “I’m afraid I’m no longer in Myeong-Dong.” Another shaky sigh left my lips, before I could stop it.

“Please, don’t cry,” concern was hearable in Seunghyun’s voice. “Look around you. Do you see any characteristic spot?”

I did as he told me.

“There’s a skyscraper. Koreana Hotel,” I read the name. “I’m on the opposite side of the road.”

“Stay there,” Seunghyun asked and I heard a clamour in the background. “I’ll be there in a minute!”

He hanged up, leaving me alone with my unstable emotions.

Jiyong. Jiyong. Jiyong. His voice saying my name echoed in my mind, sending a warm sensation over my body.

Maybe it isn’t too late to fix it all, I thought to myself.

Hope filled my heart and I wrapped my arms around me, waiting for Seunghyun to come here.

But I waited, waited and waited. Seunghyun’s minute turned into a quarter and then into half an hour. I was about to sit on the ground and burst out crying, because I realised that there might be more than one Koreana Hotel in Seoul and Seunghyun was probably looking for me in a completely different area. I hid my face in my scarf and let the wool drink my tears.

“Seunghyun,” I whispered to myself and then all of sudden a pair of strong arms embraced me.

“I’m right here, Ji,” Seunghyun answered in his deep voice and placed a kiss on top of my head.

I looked up and then our gazes locked. I couldn’t believe that I wanted to avoid looking into these eyes forever. There was so much care and affection in them that they made warmth spread through my body.

“Seunghyun,” I whispered and clenched my fingers on his coat. I would never let you go.

“I thought I lost you forever,” he said, kissing off the tears from my cheeks. “I was sure I was dying inside.”

“I’m so sorry,” I mumbled. Each of Seunghyun’s soft pecks on my face seemed to erase painful memories of what had happened today. “Please, forgive me,” I begged and buried my face against his chest.

His answer was another kiss on my head. “But you have to promise me, you’ll never leave me.”

“You have my word.”

Seunghyun pulled me closer and we stood like that for a longer while, enjoying the warmth of each other’s bodies and trying to forget my cruel words that had torn our hearts apart.

“You must be tired, Ji,” Seunghyun said, pulling back. “Let’s go home.”

He took my hand in his and we slowly walked away. Then we crossed a few streets, turned into some alleys that occurred to be shortcuts and finally reached my long-searched-for bus stop.

“I tried to take Dongwook’s car, but he didn’t let me,” Seunghyun told me, when we took a seat in the bus. “I would have reached you earlier, but he is completely obsessed with that Toyota. So I had to take a bus. Sorry that I made you wait for so long.”

I shook my head, hugging his arm. “You’re here with me. It’s the only thing that matters.”

Seunghyun smiled and squeezed our clasped hands. My head lolled to the side and rested on his shoulder.

His thumb was caressing my palm the whole ride and I realised I was addicted to his touch. Once again I asked myself how it was possible that I had imagined my life without him.

I almost didn’t notice how we found ourselves in front of my house. We approached the door and Seunghyun leant to me to kiss me goodbye, but I stopped him.

“Seunghyun,” I said, looking into his eyes. “Would you mind staying with me tonight?”

My sudden request surprised him, but shock wasn’t long visible in his eyes. It was soon replaced with silent agreement.

“My bedroom is a total mess,” I told him, when we were climbing up the stairs. “And my sister might be still awake. So we have to be quiet.”

It was quite funny, sneaking into your own bedroom, trying not to wake your parents. I finally let out a giggle, when my bedroom door closed behind us.

I removed clothes and books from my bed and chairs to make space to sit.

“Feel at home, Seunghyun,” I said, smiling at him.

I left Seunghyun alone in my room and quickly went to take a shower. I was able to finally change this cursed pink shirt and wipe the rest of eyeliner from my lids. I was drying my hair, watching my tired expression in foggy mirror and I thought that all in all that day wasn’t that bad. I was sure only good things would come out of it.

When I was back to my room, already changed into more comfy clothes - my old t-shirt and loose trousers, I saw that all the lights were switched off. A thin stripe of moonlight was crossing the room, showing me the way to Seunghyun, who was  standing beside the window. He turned around to look at me, when I stood next to him.

“So this is the view from my loft in central Seoul,” I told him, feeling mentally forced to start explaining myself.

“I quite like it,” Seunghyun answered. “And I like your new hair, too. Though I suppose your natural colour suited you better.”

“I know,” I sighed, looking down. “I tried too hard to become G-Dragon. And it brought me bad luck.”

“You don’t have to become G-Dragon,” Seunghyun told me with confidence.

“Life would be easier being him,” I shrugged my shoulders.

Seunghyun shot me a surprised gaze and grabbed my chin between his thumb and forefinger, making me look at him.

“G-Dragon is you, Jiyong. Jiyong is G-Dragon,” he said. “You had created your alter ego and it’s a part of your personality. Jiyong and G-Dragon are one. You have to stop separating them.”

Suddenly, my mind seemed to be enlightened. Was it really that easy? I realised that Seunghyun was right. It was me who created G-Dragon and it was also me who treated him as some kind of guest in Jiyong’s house, being my mind. All I had to do was simply welcome him home.

“Seunghyu-,“ I started, but Seunghyun interrupted me.

“Jiyong,” The way he said my name made me silent. “Back in that department store,” he started and I winced. Every memory of my behaviour from Noon Square was painful. “You asked me what I had been doing that whole time. Well, there was something I was waiting for. And I finally got it yesterday. I wanted to give it to you at my grandma’s, then in front of your house. When you asked me to meet you in Myeong-Dong I thought it was another perfect occasion,” he stopped and put his hand into pocket of his trousers. “We both know that it wasn’t a good timing. But now I think that this is a proper moment.”

What he put out of his pocket was a small blue box. My heart started beating like crazy, when Seunghyun slowly opened it and showed me what it had inside. There were two silver rings, both with an inscription. I looked harder and realised that the letters didn’t make a word, but symbolised something different. What was written on both rings was ‘GD♥TOP’.

“Seunghyun!” I groaned. “They are wonderful!”

“I had a feeling you will like it,” he chuckled. “Want to wear yours?”

I nodded. Seunghyun took the smaller ring and slowly placed it on my ring finger, keeping his eyes on my blissful face.

“It feels like a wedding,” I giggled, suddenly amused by the whole situation. “Pity, that there is no priest nor a white veil.”

Seunghyun smirked and in one swift motion he caught the edge of white curtain and put it on my head.

“Here’s your veil,” he said and we both laughed.

Not thinking to much, I took the second ring and put it on Seunghyun’s finger. When I did it, he threaded his fingers through mine, smiling at me softly. He looked incredibly handsome, standing here with me. His face was lit by moonlight what made him look even more attractive and his masculine facial features were more visible. He was simply perfect.

“You can kiss the bride,” I whispered, carried away by the moment.

Seunghyun put his hand on the small of my back, drawing me closer. Our lips met for the third time and started moving against each other softly. I had thought I would never again be allowed to feel the taste of Seunghyun’s kisses, so now I was longing for more and more. I internally knew this kiss should be different than the previous ones and my whole body reacted to this sudden impulse from my brain.  My lips parted beneath Seunghyun’s and I felt the tip of his tongue touching mine. Every cell in my body was about to explode, when our tongues danced passionately and I was sure I was losing my senses.

I let out a quiet moan of disappointment, when Seunghyun suddenly let me go. I protested, but he only smirked and laid me on my bed. I expected a continuation of the kiss, so I wrapped my hands around Seunghyun’s neck, but Seunghyun unexpectedly brushed his lips against my nose.

“It’s enough for today, Ji,” he said, grinning. “You have to go to sleep.”

I pouted and grabbed Seunghyun’s hand, afraid that he might leave me. But it wasn’t his plan for that night. He only put the empty blue box on the nightstand and lay next to me, pulling me close.

The warmth of our connected bodies was slowly lulling us to sleep. I observed Seunghyun’s chest go up and down when he was breathing, until my lids turned heavy and closed. Still I was able to hear his every heartbeat and smell his cologne. It was wonderful to feel him so close, closer than ever. I prayed that this night would never end.

“I love you, Seunghyun,” I whispered semiconsciously, right before falling into deep sleep.