CHAPTER 9

[Sulli’s point of view]

No matter what I do, I can’t cheat reality… that’s true… I told myself, I can tolerate any girls, just as long as it will make my bestfriend happy… I admit I am jealous, envious, insecure of the fact that even I had him on my nostrils, I can’t still have him. Am I that bad? Or Ugly? Whatever you call that, I am still, the girl that he used to cry with, laugh with, share his problems with, spent the best memories with, and yet, I am still the girl who isn’t capable of giving him the happiness that he’s looking for.

He likes Kim Taeyeon… it’s clear to me now… He’s not the young boy anymore who just feels puppy love… he’s now a man, who feels real love… I really don’t want to interfere his business now with Taeyeon-unnie whether or not that she likes him too… I should care less if I am about to die with it, as long as it is Taemin’s happiness… I will be happy for him… no matter what.

Days pass, months pass and he’s being far from the Taemin that I used to know… He used to pass by in our house often, to see me. He used to take his lunch break with me. He used to ask me to eat out. He used to send me a message and give me calls everytime. He used to tell everything that happened to him in a day… but now, he’s so far from me… yet I know he’s near. I’ve been hurt by this situation since I started to feel a deep love towards him. Is it my fault that I just let my ‘so-called friend’ go? Everytime I’m going to ask him if he can come over in our house he always a lot of excuses not to mention the very nonsense excuse he could ever have in life. Yes I do keep on comparing now and then… Because ‘then’ is not like this… I and ‘now’ I feel like all alone.

It all started when I discovered that he likes Taeyeon-unnie… after being discharge from the hospital, Teacher Taeyeon still spent a month of tutoring me… before their graduation. There’s this time that I asked her… “Teacher, do you like Taemin?” then she answered me with a smile… I don’t know what that smile was… all I know is that, she gave me the sweetest smile I couldn’t just ever accept in my whole life.

She is or was… aware that I like Taemin… Or is she ever paying attention to that? I don’t know.

Next thing…

When Taemin has finally revealed me the truth, that she likes Taeyeon-unnie, I was not surprised anymore… and he noticed that… he’s wondering why I am not surprised… I just tell him “I know” then it all ends there… after him knowing that I already know what’s up with his goddamn lovelife, he began to pursue his feelings to Taeyeon-unnie at the extent that he has to distant himself from me. we are already in 2nd year highschool at that time

We’re like strangers from each other now.

I tried to open up myself to other people, like Krystal, Key-oppa, jonghyun-oppa… they were actually the ‘replacement’ I can call.

And then a freshman in our school came our way… he’s NO MINWOO. My hoobae

He may not like be Taemin, for sure he will never be… but we became close in an instant… he was also being qualified to be on the study hall… he’s a wit freak… any girls would love to have him… and it so happen that of all girls in the world, or I mean in our school, he chose to be with me… I mean, be friends with me.

When Minwoo entered the picture, my world started to run as it was… I mean, I’ve got this closest buddy next to Taemin actually… coz no one could ever beat Taemin… He’s still the closest thing to me… and no one can easily take that fact away from me. Not even Taeyeon-unnie…

About Taeyeon-unnie, we’d never talked about it anymore… I think he likes Taemin too… but I can’t blame her… I’d never had news about them or what is going on with them… Nor asked Onew-oppa about it… I never did that. Taeyeon-unnie, Jonghyun-oppa and Onew Oppa are now on Seoul University… Minho-oppa didn’t made it to Australia because he asked dad to just study there after highschool. Dad agreed. Jina-unnie went back to Australia.

I once visit Mom (Mrs. Lee) on her duty at the hospital… she never knew about it… I didn’t tell her…

It’s funny how things get similar to the momentum they call ‘break-up’ even if there’s no commitment happened…

I am just his friend.

And I think he can never really treat me more than that.

=Author’s Narration=

[STUDY HALL]

“Noona, can you teach me this? I really can’t understand.” Minwoo wants to gain Sulli’s attention… He sitted at the side of Sulli even if he knew that Taemin is supposed to be there

“What’s that?” She looked at the book. “Yah! It’s so easy! How can you enter the study hall without knowing that? Huh?” she added like mocking Minwoo again and again.

“Yah! Noona! Are you mocking me?” Minwoo blubbered

“Aish! This is so simple…