“Ow.”

Soohyun winces in sympathetic pain as Marina stabs her lip with the fork for the umpteenth time while trying to feed herself. “Marina, please let me help you.”

She holds up a finger. “I can do it.”

    Taking his silence for agreement, Marina slowly lifts the food to . This time, she misses her lips but hits her teeth. Soohyun bites his lip as he watches her, torn.

“I’m fine, oppa. I have to get use to this anyway, right?” She smiles to reassure him. “So you can stop looking at me with that face.”

“What face?” he asks, ignoring her first statement.

“The one you’re making right now. The one you make when you’re worried.”

Soohyun chuckles a little. “You know me a bit too well, you know that, right?”

Marina just shrugs.

“At least let me help you with....whatever this is,” he says, scooting closer to pick up the cup and spoon from the tray. “It’s white and kinda looks like porridge, but it’s smooth.”

“Mystery liquid. Yippee.” Nonetheless, she obediently opens to let Soohyun put the spoon in. “We’re safe; it’s just pudding.”

When she tries to take the spoon from him, he keeps his grip. “Please let me do this.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to feel like I’m doing something to actually help you. Please, Marina.”

“How does your pout work on me when I can’t even see it?” Marina asks with a half smile, shaking her head. “It’s not fair.”

“Magic,” he replies. “Open up.”

Quietly, Soohyun feeds the rest to her, carefully wiping away some that clings to the corner of with his thumb. As his hand leaves her face, he leans in to gently kiss her cheek.

“What was that for?” she asks shyly, raising a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Just because. Would you like me to put your hair back or something so it’s not in your face?”

“That would be nice...but you don’t have to. I can manage a pony tail.”

“Give me one second.” Putting the small bed table back down and placing the tray aside, Soohyun picks up the hairbrush that’s sitting on the night stand. “Turn your back to me.”

“Don’t do anything weird to my hair, okay?” Marina teases as she sits up and adjusts her position.

“Is a braid all right?” he asks as he begins brushing her long, thick hair, enjoying the silky feel of it slipping through his fingers.

“You know how to braid?”

“My noona taught me so I could help my little sister get ready for school when she was too busy to do it. I can’t do anything fancy, but they look okay.”

Marina nods. “My dad use to do this for me when I was little too,” she says quietly.

    Soohyun’s hand briefly stops, but resumes its steady rhythm when she doesn’t say anything else, simply closing her eyes. His fingers slightly clumsy from lack of recent practice, he still manages a passable braid and slips off a hair elastic from the brush to finish it off. Glancing around, he pulls off a green fabric ribbon from one of the bouquets and ties it around Marina’s head in a neat bow.

“Beautiful,” Soohyun says, arranging the braid around her neck.

Marina reaches up to feel it and the bow and giggles.

    This makes him smile as he realizes how much he’d missed that sound. As much as he missed it, the thing he was going to say next would probably take it away again, but he needed to know.

“Marina.”

“Yes?” she replies, still smiling.

“What were you and your brother arguing about earlier?”

Sure enough, her smile becomes a little strained. “It was nothing.”

“Marina, I heard my name. A number of times. Have I done something wrong to offend him or Sarah?”

“No. Of course you haven’t.”

“Then please tell me what’s wrong.”

Marina turns her head away from him again, looking down and starting to fiddle with her fingers in her lap.

Soohyun waits patiently.

Finally, in a voice barely above a whisper, she says, “He wants me to go the States.”

He thinks it over. “For treatment? I’d miss you but if that’s what’s best for you then-”

“No,” she stops him.“He wants us to move back. To stay.”

Soohyun feels his heart stop. He hurries around the bed so he can see her face. “What?”

“Mom has to go back for a while to take care of some things and Jacob said now that Dad’s g-... gone, there’s no reason for us to stay.”

He opens his mouth but nothing comes out, his mind still reeling. “And...and what did he say about me?”

She refuses to look at him, her clenched hands trembling.

“Marina?”

“He said I need to leave you..before...”

“Leave me? Before what?”

“...Before...you leave me because like this, I’m just- I’m just a burden to you. I-”

    To stop the sickening feeling that’s threatening to poison him as Marina chokes on her words, Soohyun quickly pulls her into his arms and slides a hand behind her head to cradle her close. Her hands grip the fabric of his shirt.

“You will never be a burden to me,” Soohyun tells her, his voice containing the smallest of trembles. “Ever. Understand?”

Marina’s hair tickles his neck as she nods.

    He rests his head on hers, still trying to calm himself down. Cold anger slowly mixes with the desperation. Who was Jacob to judge him so? Jacob didn’t know anything about the love the two of them shared or the kind of person Soohyun was.

His resolution hardening as both their heartbeats slow, Soohyun says, “I will never leave you. You believe me, don’t you?”

“I do,...but-”

“But what?”

“He’s right, isn’t he?” Marina says quietly into his chest. “Your fans will be upset if they find out you have a girlfriend, but now I’m blind and-”

“Who cares? Yes, the fans are important to me, but they’re not going to be the one I call at night just so I can hear their voice before I go to sleep, the one who makes my whole world brighter. If they’re really my fans, they’ll be happy I found someone that makes me happy too. They can’t expect me to stay single forever. And what does you being blind have to do with anything? You’re still Marina, the girl I fell in love with and I will do everything and anything to take care of you, okay?”

Soohyun feels her hesitate before nodding and burying her face closer.

“Marina? Soohyun? Is something wrong?”

Marina pulls away from Soohyun without leaving his arms, just enough so she can turn let Sarah see her face. “Everything’s fine, Mom.”

“Good. I brought Rose with me to see you,” Sarah smiles, letting go of the little girl’s hand so she can run to the bed and wiggle her way in between the two of them.

“Hi! I’ve missed you, unnie. When do you get to come home?” Rose asks, throwing her arms around Marina’s neck and kissing her cheek.

“Hopefully soon,” Marina smiles, returning the kiss and loosening her hold on Soohyun to hug her. “You’ve been good for Mom and Mrs.Yang?”

Rose nods emphatically as Sarah begins unpacking a fresh set of clothes for Marina.

Slipping out of his chair and walking away from the bed, Soohyun takes out his phone and quickly makes a call.

“Hey, hyung. What’s up?” Eli answers. “How’s Marina?”

“She’s fine. I need you to do something for me.”

“Um, ok. What?”

“I’ll need you to interpret for me,” he replies in a low voice, heading towards the door after giving Sarah a nod. “I want to make sure he understand’s exactly what I want to say.”

“He who?”

“With-” As Soohyun opens the door, he comes face to face with Jacob. Temporarily putting the phone against his shoulder, he looks him in the eye and asks, “Can I talk to you?”


Jacob eyes him but steps back, nodding.

“Hang on,” Soohyun tells Eli, leading Jacob down the hall to the small rooftop garden.

“What’s this about?” Jacob asks when they arrive, folding his arms.

“I need to talk to you about Marina.” Putting his phone on speaker and holding it his palm. “Eli will help.”

“I still don’t really understand what I’m helping with,” Eli’s voice reminds him.

“Just tell him what I’m saying in English, okay?”

“Ok.”

“Thanks.” Meeting Jacob’s eyes, Soohyun tells him in English, “I know what you told Marina.”

He looks away with a slightly ashamed, saying, “Oh.”

Forgoing English so as not to not limit himself, Soohyun begins speaking, “You’re completely wrong about me. I’m not the kind of man who treats women’s hearts like they are something to be played with and then thrown away when they’re ‘inconvenient.’  I love your sister. I loved her before she was blind, before any of this, because I love who she is. No one else can tell me I’m not supposed to. I’m going to stand by her for as long as she needs me and longer, no matter what anyone says or does.”

Eli repeats Soohyun’s words.

Jacob looks him up and down, assessing. “And I’m supposed to believe that?”

“Soohyun does not lie,” Eli immediately replies, his tone defensive as he enunciates each word. “If you stopped making assumptions and opened your eyes, you’d know that. He loves Marina, more than anything else in the world.”

“And being an idol with a busy career and pressure to remain unattached isn’t going to influence him?”


“No,” Soohyun says firmly. “I know it won’t be easy, but one day all that’s going to be gone and if Marina’s not by my side then, I’ll truly have nothing. I don’t know what’s going to happen but I would regret it for the rest of my life if I ever left her.”

“You’ve only been dating four months, right?” Jacob asks. “You’re telling me you’re that in love with her?”

“Yes.” He frowns. “Why is that so hard for you to believe?”

Sighing, Marina’s brother sighs and rubs his temple, sinking to sit on a bench. “It’s not you exactly, Soohyun... It’s just... I’m worried about Marina. She was really close to my stepfather, as you know. I don’t know how she’s going to be able to handle losing him and her sight. Her whole future was planned around being an artist and if her loss of sight is permanent ... She’s fine now, but what about later? I just want the best for my sister.”

“So do I,” Soohyun replies. “Does the best really mean taking her away from her life so abruptly? It will only hurt her more.”

“We haven’t decided yet. Mom wants to wait until we hear back from the doctor.”

“Does Marina get the final say?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Jacob shrugs, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t think Mom really knows what she wants to do yet either.”

Soohyun sighs and sits down beside Jacob. “So she’ll be gone for two weeks? What will happen to Marina?”

“We can’t ask Jimin to take her in because she lives in the dorm so we’re probably going to have to leave her in the hospital.”

“Why doesn’t she stay with me?” Soohyun’s as surprised as Jacob the instant the words leave his lips, but a second later he realizes he meant them completely.

“Hyung, are you serious?” Eli asks. “I mean, you have your own house, but our schedules...”

“They were thinking of giving me a few weeks break before I have to start rehearsal for my musical,” he answers, already running through the necessary details in his head. “Now I’ll have to make sure I get it. What do you think, Jacob?”

“I’m not sure. I’ll have to talk about it with Mom,” he replies slowly, watching Soohyun.

“I don’t really like the idea of leaving Marina all by herself, but ...”

“I promise I’ll do everything and anything to take care of her,” Soohyun says quickly. “Just- ... just if you don’t have to, please don’t take Marina away from me.”

“I’ll talk about it with my mom,” Jacob promises, getting up. “If you’ll excuse me.”

“You really think you can handle this?” Eli asks as Soohyun watches Jacob walk away.

Without having to think about it, he answers,“For Marina, yes.”
 

=====================================

Annyoung, lovlies! Shisus, have I missed you all and this site! Seriously, China is a pain in the for a fangirl (I'll explain later when I can access the blog). Unfortunately, my ability on is still spotty so we'll have to see whether or not I can update more while I'm still in China and since I've been exploring Beijing, I haven't been able to write as much as I liked either. Thanks for everyone who's stuck by me and this story!