“Oppa, I’m ready to go back,” Marina says softly when her tears have dried.

Soohyun readjusts his arms so he can look at her face where it rests against his shoulder. “You sure?”

She nods. “Do you think we should bring Rose back in too?”

He looks across the small garden where the little girl is contentedly making a daisy chain with Dongho, Hoon, and Jimin. “Let her play a little longer. It’ll be hard enough for her tomorrow.”

“She still doesn’t understand Dad’s gone. She said she hopes he brings her back a star when he comes back from Heaven.” Marina smiles a little at her sister’s innocence. “Who’s with her?”

“Jimin, Dongho and Hoon.”

“Good. It’s so kind of all the guys to come, even if just for a little while,” she tells him as he lifts her from his lap to carefully place her back in the wheelchair.

“That’s what friends do, jagiya. They’re still upset we can’t come tomorrow,” Soohyun says, waving to the other two so they know he’s taking her back inside.

“It’s not their fault though, or yours. I don’t expect you drop everything just for me.”

He leans down to kiss her head. “I would though.”

“Soohyun-”

“Don’t worry. I know you’d have my hide if I did,” he teases.

Marina reaches back to put a hand over his. “Thank you.”

    Soohyun smiles softly and turns his hand to briefly hold hers before opening the door to bring them back into the building. The halls are eerily silent except for the haunting music probably meant to be soothing and the muffled murmurs from the mourning rooms.

“This is it,” he warns her when they reach the door.

She takes a deep breath. “Okay.”

    Sarah glances at the two of them as they rejoin her and Jacob, her eyes silently asking. Soohyun nods, assuring her Marina’s fine. When her attention is reclaimed by the next person, he resumes his position behind Marina, a hand on her shoulder. He watches as people continue trickling into the room to quietly pay their respects before the closed coffin. They quietly express their condolences as they shake Sarah, Jacob, and Marina’s hands. Soohyun’s glad she can’t see the pitying look in their eyes when they come to her

When his phone unexpectedly vibrates an hour or so later, he softly excuses himself. Once he’s the in hallway, he answers in an annoyed tone, “What’s wrong?”

“Mianhae, hyung, but...we need you back,” Kevin tells him apologetically. “They need some of the vocals re-recorded.”

“Do they have to do it now? I thought I had today cleared.”

“We tried to tell them that, both me and Moonsung hyung, but they’re insisting. NH said we had to.”

“Don’t they know-” Soohyun tries to keep his temper in check, knowing it’s not Kevin’s fault. “Fine. I’ll bring the other two. Can we try to make this is as quick as possible?”

“Of course, hyung. I’m really sorry.”

“Bye.”

    Jabbing the end call button with his thumb, Soohyun leans against the wall with a frustrated growl. He was supposed to be there for her, but now his job was tearing him away.

“Hyung? Is everything all right?”

Soohyun opens his eyes, forcing his frown into a smile when he sees Hoon and Dongho with Rose in between them and Jimin trailing behind, looking up at him. “Yes. Kevin called and the studio needs us to do some recording so we have to go.”

“You have to leave?” Rose asks, forming a small pout as her fingers tighten around Hoon and Dongho’s hands.

He squats down to her eye level, reaching out pick her up.

After some thought, she lets go of the others hands to throw her arms around his neck.

“Yes, but we’ll be back soon, arasso? Until then, can you take care of your unnie and umma for me?” he asks, carefully fixing her daisy crown.

Rose nods. “Why are they so sad? Appa went to Heaven and Heaven’s a happy place, right?”

“That’s right, but they miss him so that’s why they’re sad.”

“Oh...but they’ll be happy again, won’t they? When he comes back.”

Soohyun’s words catch in his throat, unable to contradict her. Instead he hugs her tighter. “I’ll make your unnie happy again. I promise.”

“I know you will,” she answers, patting his cheek. “You love unnie and she loves you; love makes people happy.”

“Yes. Yes, it does.” He gives her a watery smile. “I’m going to take you back in with your family, okay?”

“Okay.”

Jimin, tears silently flowing down her face, follows the two of them into the room. Soohyun gently places Rose on Marina’s lap and whispers an apology in Marina’s ear in between people.

Marina nods, her face falling a little before she regains her composure.

With a final kiss on her cheek and another apology to Sarah, Soohyun leaves again. When he sees Hoon holding Dongho, he stops. “What’s the matter?”

“Rose,” Dongho answers, pulling back and wiping his eyes. “She-”

Hoon gives him a one-armed hug when he starts crying again, unable to finish his sentence.

“I know,” Soohyun says, feeling a similar tug on his heart again. “Let’s go so we can get this over with and get back sooner.”

“It’s really all right, Soohyun. We understand.”

    Marina turns her face towards her mother when she hears his name, listening. Despite his words, Soohyun hadn’t returned for the end of the wake. It had been hours since she had gotten back to the hospital, confined once again to the bed she was beginning to loathe. It made her nervous, not having him by her side, leaving her mind to imagine a thousand things that could have happened to him.

“Soohyun-ah, you’re going to make yourself sick. Just get some rest and we’ll see you the day after tomorrow. Yes. I’ll tell her. Good night.”

“Is he all right?” Marina asks.

She hears Sarah come to her bedside and sit in the chair there. “He’s fine. The studio kept him until a few minutes ago, but he said he’d come see you as soon as he can.”

“Oh.”

“Mom,” comes Jacob’s voice from her other side. “Should we talk about it now?”

“Talk about what?”

“Maybe we should we wait until after the funeral,” Sarah sighs.

“Tell me now,” Marina says. “You’re just making me worried.”

“Dad had some business things in the U.S that I need to go there to take care of,” Sarah explains. “I’m not sure how long it’ll take, so I’ll take Rose with me, but I’m considering putting it off until I can arrange something for you.”

“And I think it would be easier for all of you to move back to the States permanently,” Jacob adds.

“Move back?” Marina repeats.

“It’ll be easier for all of you there. It’s where your family is now.”

“Our family’s here too,” she tells him. “I don’t want to leave.”

“Shh, baby. It’s all right. Nothing’s been decided yet,” Sarah assures her, her hair soothingly. “We’ll talk about this again after tomorrow. Just rest now, it’s been a long day for all of us.”

Marina nods and closes her eyes as she pulls the blankets up, turning away from her step-brother. In spite of her mother’s words, Marina feels her heart still beating frantically and the one thought echoing alongside the drumming.

I can’t leave him.

Soohyun readjusts the bundle of lilies in his arms as the elevator door opens, still feeling guilty at his unexpected departure from the wake but eager to see his Marina again. When he reaches the door to her room, he finds it slightly ajar. His hand on the doorknob, he stops when he hears agitated voices inside and peeks inside.

Jacob sits in Soohyun’s regular spot, a frustrated look on his face. “Why are you being selfish, Marina? Think of Sarah. What does she have for here? You can get better care back home in the States where there’s family to support you.”

“This is my home, Jacob, and Sarah’s and Rose’s,” Marina retorts, glaring in his direction. “How do you think Rose will feel being taken away from everything she’s known? Seoul’s more home to us than the States could ever be and the doctors here are just as good.”

Jacob looks at her with tired eyes. “Dad’s gone Marina. There’s nothing to keep you here.”

“I have Sarah and Rose and Jimin and Yongsool and Soohyun.”

“Wake up, Marina!” he says in a frustrated voice. “You really think he’s going to stay with you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Soohyun loves me,” Marina says defiantly.

“Now maybe, but sooner or later he’ll get tired of you. That’s what celebrities do!”

Marina’s hands tighten on the edge of her blanket. “Soohyun’s different!”

“You’ll be a liability to him,” Jacob continues as if he hadn’t heard her, trying to take her hand and sighing when she angrily pulls it away. “Please, Marina. I’m not trying to hurt you, but it’s better to tell you honestly. You’ll be better off if you leave everything behind, including Soohyun, so you can start new. Leave him before he leaves you. You’ll be a burden to him, a mark on his image. That’s something an idol can’t afford.”

“Shut up, Jacob!” Marina wipes away the angry tears that stream down her face. “Soohyun’s not like that. He won’t leave me...and I won’t leave him.”

Unable to keep silent, Soohyun pushes open the door and quietly asks, “What’s going on?”

    Jacob has the good grace to be embarrassed and look away from Soohyun’s cold eyes. Although he hadn’t understood everything, Soohyun had heard his own name and whatever her stepbrother had said was making Marina upset.

“It’s nothing. Jacob’s just being silly,” Marina says, trying to hide her frown. “He was just leaving.”

Jacob doesn’t need to understand the words to understand the message. He gets up from his chair and walks out, still avoiding Soohyun’s gaze.

When Marina hears the door shut, she smiles at Soohyun. “Did you bring me flowers again, oppa? The carnations you sent yesterday are lovely.”

“Marina, what’s wrong?” he asks, not fooled by her cheeriness.

“It’s nothing, really.”

============

Annyoung and mianhae for not updating for so long! I may not update for a while again since life is crazy (5 3,000 word essays to write in three weeks) but I promise you, I am not and will not abandon this fic) Saranghae! And thank you so much for sticking around with this pabo! <3