“Soohyun-”

“What?” he snaps, immediately regretting it. Taking a deep breath, he lifts his head to give Hoon an apologetic look. “Mianhae.”

“It’s okay, hyung,” Hoon replies with a small, sympathetic smile. “You didn’t get much sleep and you’re worried about Marina. I just wanted to tell you we only have two more interviews and then you can go back to her.”

Soohyun wipes the sleep from his eyes. “I can’t. We still have to rehearse for a few hours after that.”

“Soohyun hyung, we’ll be fine. You haven’t been able to concentrate at all day; you’ve already exhausted yourself trying to be as excited as expected about the award. You really think pushing yourself is going to help anyone?”

“...No. Did hyung say it was all right?”

Hoon nods. “Have you heard anything from Sarah yet?”

“Nothing. Not a word.”

“That could be a good thing though. They were still working on the tests when you left, right?”

“Yeah. Hoon, you should’ve seen her face when I did.” Soohyun runs a hand through his hair. “She smiled and told me it was okay, but her eyes...they were still scared.”

“Marina knows you won’t leave her. She knows we’ll be there for her too.” Hoon reaches out and gives his shoulder a squeeze. “Just few more hours and then you can go back.”

“Do you think she’d like it if I bring her flowers? Wait, no, that’s a stupid idea. She can’t-”

“See them?”

Soohyun sighs frustratedly and nods.

“So?” Kiseop says, suddenly sitting beside him. Gesturing with his hands, he adds, “She can still smell them, feel the petals. I think Marina would really like it. It would something familiar, comforting even.”

“You really think so?”

“I do,” Hoon and Kiseop say together, smiling at each other afterwards.

Soohyun smiles a little himself, glad for a little normalcy.

“Marina?”

Sarah looks up at Soohyun’s soft call, smiles, and beckons him inside the room. “She’s been sleeping since they finished the tests,” she explains in a whisper.

“Have you heard anything yet?” he asks, stopping by Marina’s bedside to gently touch her hand.

“Nothing yet. Those are beautiful.” She nods towards the large bouquet of flowers, prettily wrapped in jade tissue paper and tied in green ribbon, in his arms.

“The woman said these smelled the sweetest,” he says, still looking at Marina. “Marina never could tell me her favorite flower.”

“No,” Sarah chuckles. “She always says there’s too many to choose just one. I’ll go see if I can get a vase for them.”

“I should’ve thought of that,” he apologizes.

She stops and lightly places her hand over his. “Don’t worry about it, Soohyun.”

“Excuse me. Mrs. Sacchieri?”

They both turn to look at the door where one of the doctors from that morning waits.

“Yes,” Sarah answers, walking to the door. “Have the tests come back?”

“Yes. Would you prefer to discuss these back in my office?”

Noticing the doctor’s glance at Soohyun, she shakes her head. “He can hear as well. Soohyun, come here.”

“What if Marina wakes up?” he asks, whispering

“Then we’ll be right here.”

Carefully laying the flowers on the side table while trying to crinkle the paper the least amount possible, Soohyun walks over to join them.

“Were you able to find what was wrong?” Sarah asks, keeping her voice low.

The doctor also adopts a bedside whisper, meeting her eyes. “I wish we had.”

“What does that mean?” Soohyun asks, frowning.


“She did suffer a grade three concussion, which accounts for the loss of consciousness and memory of the time surrounding the accident. Grade three concussions can also cause temporary blindness after the subject regains consciousness, but the maximum number of hours it should last is three or four. Blood clots, hemorrhages, or lesions behind the eye caused by the head trauma would usually be the cause of longer-laster, or permanent loss of vision.”

Sarah’s face forms a frown similar to Soohyun’s. “Would?”

The doctor nods. “Would. But in your daughter’s case, none of those injuries are obviously present. She sustained no permanent brain damage from the concussion other than the slight memory loss. I have ordered some more refined tests for tomorrow once she’s rested. So far though, there is no physical explanation why she hasn’t regained her sight.”

“But...it’s been almost a day and she still can’t see. Not even light.”

“I know, which is why I had more extensive tests done, but they came to the same conclusion.”

Soohyun puts a reassuring hand on her shoulder, trying to hide his own anxiety. “Then why is she still blind? There has to be some reason.”

“I’m not entirely sure myself, but I passed the case details on to a friend of mine who might be able to help. She should be by later tonight to talk to the patient.”

“Should we tell Marina any of this?”

“It would probably be best until my colleague comes,” the doctor answers, casting a glance behind them at Marina with a small smile on her lips. “I don’t think she needs any  more stress just yet. If you’ll excuse me.”

“Thank you, doctor,” Sarah says, bowing her head as the doctor leaves the room.

“Are you all right?” Soohyun asks, feeling her shoulders tremble beneath his fingers.

She rubs her forehead and takes a shaky breath before meeting Soohyun’s eyes, her own tired but strong. “I’m fine. It’s just arranging for- for the funeral and now this...”

“Let me know if I can do anything to help.”

“Thank you.”

He nods and lets his hand slip from her shoulder. “Do you think this other doctor will be able to help her?”

“Let’s pray they can,” Sarah answers, closing her eyes again. “I’m going to go see if I can find that vase.”

    Soohyun watches her leave the room before turning back to Marina. He starts a little when he sees she’s awake and holding the flowers close to her face, her fingers slowly caressing the petals.

Hurrying to her side, Soohyun forces himself to slowly reach for shoulder so he doesn’t frighten her. “Marina.”

She smiles and pulls her face from the flowers. “I thought I heard you, oppa. Is Mom here too?”

“She just left to find something to put these in. Although, I don’t think she’ll need to for this one.”

“This one?”

Soohyun plucks one of the larger blossoms to tuck it behind her ear, kissing her forehead. “This one.”

Marina giggles, touching the flower. “They’re magnolias and lilacs, right?”

“Right.” Laying a short, gentle kiss on her lips, he sits in one of the chairs beside her bed and takes her hand that isn’t holding the flowers. “Jimin and Yongsul left?”

“I made them leave because they had class, but they came back afterwards. They only left a few hours ago...I think.”

“Did you miss me?”

“Of course I did. I think I slept most of the day- but how are you here?” she frowns. “Aren’t you busy?”

“You are my number one priority right now.”

“But-”

Soohyun kisses her again to stop her worrying. “I still have to go to our activities and practices and all that, but I’m going to be here for you every day, arasso?”

“But you’ll get tired.” Marina uses her hand to follow his arm up to his face. “You already work so hard. Won’t your family miss you?”

“I can nap here and I’ll still see them; they’ll understand.” Soohyun smiles. “My sisters keep pestering me to let them meet you actually. Maybe once you’re out of here I’ll take you.”

“That’d be nice.” Her smile fades a little. “Have they gotten any of the tests results?”

Remembering the doctor’s advice, he hesitates before answering. “Not yet.”

“Oh.”

“Marina, you’re awake.” Sarah quickly crosses the room, sets down a clear jar, and takes the other side of the bed. “How’re you feeling, baby?”

“I’m fine, Mom,” Marina reassures her, turning her head towards Sarah’s voice. “Don’t these flowers smell good?”

“They do,” she smiles. “I found a jar to so we can put them right beside your bed, okay?”

She lets her mom take the flowers from her, asking, “Where’s Rose?”

“She’s staying with the Yangs for the day.”

“You...haven’t told her yet, have you?”

Sarah’s hands freeze for a few seconds before they resume arranging the flowers. “Not yet. I’m going to wait until Jacob gets here.”

“Jacob’s coming?”

“Jacob?” Soohyun asks, the name sounding familiar.

“My son from my first marriage,” Sarah explains as she puts the jar on Marina’s bed side table. “He’s flying in tomorrow.”

“It’ll be good to see-” Marina cuts herself off, her expression falling as she struggles to forget her slip.

Sarah and Soohyun share an equally helpless look.

Marina takes a deep breath before finishing her sentence. “It’ll be good for him to be here. He can help you with everything. I’m sorry I’m not much use, Mom.”

“Don’t say that, sweetie.” Sarah hugs her shoulders, cradling her head. “Just focus on getting better.”

Soohyun silently squeezes her hand. “I’ll help her too, Marina. Anything I can do.”

Marina returns the pressure. “Thank you, oppa.”

    The three of them stay that way for a while, a quiet, fragile sharing of strength against the pain. When they do pull away and begin talking, it inevitably turns to Paolo. Soohyun watches the mother and daughter, his admiration for them growing as they choose to share and recount their many good memories instead of letting grief consume them. The sadness lurks in their eyes, but they still smile.

As Sarah tells them a forgotten story of Paolo and toddler Marina, much to the latter’s embarrassment, their laughter is interrupted by a knock on the door.
“Excuse me, Ms. Marina?” a bespectacled, middle aged man inquires, half opening the door.

“Yes?” she answers, looking towards the door curiously.

“Hello,” he smiles, walking to the foot of the bed. “I’m Dr.Choi, but you can call me Jihoon if you’d like.”

“Hello, Jihoon-ssi.”

“Are you Dr. Jang’s friend?” Sarah asks, unconsciously taking one of Marina’s hands.

He nods. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to come earlier. One of my other patients was having a particularly difficult day.”

“I hope they feel better,” Marina says earnestly, making Soohyun smile softly. Trust her to say something like that about someone she didn’t even know when she’s in the condition she’s in.

“I’m trying to make sure they do. I’d like to do the same for you, but I’ll have to ask you some things that might make you a little uncomfortable. Is that all right?”

Soohyun’s smile disappears. “Why would you do that?”

“It may be one of the only ways to help her,” Jihoon answers calmly.

“It’s all right, oppa, but I don’t understand,” Marina interjects. “What kind of doctor are you?”

“I’m a psychiatrist.”

“Psychiatrist? Why would I need one of those? No offense.”

“None taken,” Jihoon chuckles. “Not all injuries are as easily perceived as broken leg or arm or rational as a concussion. The mind is a very complex organ, one we’re still discovering things about everyday. Anyway, in some cases of head trauma, there can also be imperceptible afflictions, which, after reviewing your case, I think may be what happened with you so your assigned doctor asked me to check on you.”

“Oh.” Marina threads her fingers tighter through Soohyun’s. “Is it all right if my mom and Soohyun stay with me?”

Jihoon notices this action, but makes no comment. “Of course. Their presence makes not being able to see less disorientating, doesn’t it?”

She nods.

“Okay. I’m going to ask you some of the questions some of the earlier doctors did, but tell me if anything has changed, arasso?” When she nods again, he continues, “You hadn’t had any history of vision loss or impairment before the accident, correct?”

“Correct.”

“And you said you can’t remember anything after you left the...concert?”

Marina hesitates. “I...remember getting in the car with my dad after it finished, but after we pulled out of the parking lot, there’s nothing until I woke up with Soohyun oppa here.”

“And you were close to your father?” Jihoon quickly adds, “My condolences on your loss.”

“Thank you,” she answers, temporarily letting go of Soohyun’s hand to wipe at her wet eyes. “Yes.”

“Marina’s birth mother died when she was very young,” Sarah explains. “Paolo raised her on his own for awhile; they’ve been inseparable.”

Jihoon nods again. “Are you all right continuing, Marina? We can stop if this is too much for you and start again tomorrow.”

Marina shakes her head. “No, I’m fine, really. Please keep going.”

Jihoon glances at the slightly worried faces of Soohyun and Sarah before continuing his gentle questioning. When Marina’s answers grow shorter and choppier, he stops. “I think that’s enough for today. You’ve developed a headache, haven’t you?”

“Yes,” she admits reluctantly, trying not to frown.

“Better not to overtax yourself. You did well. I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon, okay?”

“Thank you, Jihoon-ssi,” Sarah murmurs, Marina and Soohyun echoing her.

“Wait,” Marina adds, reaching out a hand. “Can you tell what’s wrong with me? I already know they can’t find anything physically wrong with my sight.”

“What?” Soohyun gulps, sharing a surprised look with Sarah.

“I woke up while you and Mom were talking to Dr.Jang before,” Marina explains. “If it’s not something physical, why can’t I see?”

Jihoon examines her as she sits looking in his direction, patiently waiting. “I can’t be entirely sure until I’ve spoken with you some more and Dr.Jang is planning to rerun some of the tests in case they missed something.”

“But you think you know what it is,” she persists.

“I do. I think your blindness may at least partially be a psychosomatic injury. In other words, it’s not that you can’t physically see; you can’t mentally see or you don’t want to.”

“But I do.”

“Why wouldn’t she?” Soohyun says, trying to understand the doctor’s words.

“Sometimes, when the mind and body experience high amounts of physical trauma and mental anxiety, as Marina did with this accident, the mental factors can physically manifest themselves. This can be a way to deal with an overload of mental stress or to delay dealing with said stress.”

“Can it be cured?” Sarah asks.

“Yes,” Jihoon answers. “The mind is a delicate and tricky thing. If Dr.Jang’s further tests reveal no physical cause of your blindness, we can assume my diagnosis of it being psychosomatic. After that, we can only thing we can do provide counseling and hope time does heal all wounds.”

=====================

Annyeong, lovelies! MIANHAEYO! T-T I've left you alone for too long, right? I'm so so so sorry, really. I promise, I have not abandoned this story; I hit a wall with it but I am finally over it. There's still much to tell. I promise to start trying for the weekly updates again so I don't disappoint you all again. If you're still around, thank you for doing so! Saranghae.

yellow14: yes. =(

Moony_Kat: Ke ke, thank you. Yeah, even I'm not sure how I came up with something like this when I'm usually all fluffiness, but I guess it's doing all right. Stop dying!!!!

Coralie_x_SHINee: Indeed.

dreamwriter_97: ke ke, it's all right. I enjoy the light bulb moment. Well, not the light bulb bursting into a million pieces part. Sorry for making you hyperventilate and as for the blindness, I'm keeping my mouth shut. XD Soohyun does tend to that, even though he's always been my number one in UKiss. Poor thing, I've got more in store for you before it's over. *hugs you*