I never thought...

His heart constricted and tightened so profusely that he found it hard to breathe. His skin was cold and was deprived of the warmth she used to provide him with; the chilly flesh that sprawled across his small frame tingled, yearned for the heated kisses she used to flatter his figure with; they longed for the gentle caresses from her slender hands, the ticklish sensation of her hair sweeping across. His mind swirled as the room around him began to blur, half from the tears clouding his vision and half from the bewilderment racking his swiveling brain. He felt as if he had just been ran over by a stampede of horses; he felt lost. The wind was knocked out of him all in one blow and left him no chance to react or recollect his lost thoughts.

He's never felt this way before; and he hated himself for the fact that he had to feel this way about the one person that made his acts all the more sinful. She was prohibited, a forbidden entity that he wasn't supposed to mingle with. But he was so caught up in her enticing presence that he discarded those foreboding thoughts. Albeit, he didn't regret his decision once. It just made him realize all the more how much he craved her kisses; how much he longed for her tender touch; how much he liked the feeling of her head planted upon his chest; how much he loved her.

He just didn't know how to convince his men to set out to the Korean provinces to sack their lands (and bring back Byul) without having them bear suspicions against him.. not until the opportunity was posed right before him one wintery evening:

"I think we should just go and sack them clean until they've got nothing left."

They never once questioned what Byul was doing in their Highness' room that day.

"They did ruin our kingdom.. not to mention took back our hostages."

They weren't the least bit suspicious.

"What do you think.. Your Highness?"

It was the perfect chance!

"Let's go take back what's ours." Take back what's mine.

She was void of emotions as she settled down into her throne. Her hair was pushed back today and she was greatly adorned in her red, royally tailored gown. She blinked, facial expression unmoving; she paid no mind to her men sitting, kneeling before her. They held apologetic looks of scorn, but for all the wrong reasons. As the six loyal vassals squatted before her, they apologized relentlessly for leaving her within Lu Han's captivity for so long, in contrast against what she really wanted to hear.

She wanted them to apologize for taking her away from him.

They begged for mercy and redundantly promised to make it up to her.

She didn't care for that.

All the while, she was silent, and of all the bowed heads, Suho was the first to glance up, his irses flickering with apprehension. "My Lady, please forgive us. We had tainted our names as your knights by procrastinating on your rescue; we do not deserve --"
"Stop."

It'd be the first word she'd uttered in days.

Her voice was croaking, hoarse from atrophy. She glanced up then, locking eyes with the eldest member of the Round Table. "It's fine," she whispered weakly, laying her cheek against her fist. She tilted her head expectantly, silently probing them to rise. However, they didn't; she was about to scold them for testing her patience, when Ho Dong made his way in furiously, huffing and bustling about on his worn out leather boots. His blackened hair was streaked with stressful hues of grey and white, and his cheeks sagged with weariness.

Byul didn't have the tolerance to maintain her patience. "What is it?" she demanded coldly.

Without her even noticing, her six most trustworthy vassals cringed at her venomous tone.

Ho Dong ushered the young men out of the throne room, throwing them gently out the door before placing the lock into place; he scurried to the center of the chamber, kneeling respectively and bowing three times before situating himself upon his knees. He looked up at Byul and in return, she cocked a brow. Ho Dong lifted a satchel of letters. As calmly as she could, she shrugged off her secretary's ubiquity and drew in a cold hiss, lifting her brow further up her forehead. "Yes?" she drawled.

"My Lady," the elder panted, laying out the several letters before him. "Your 23rd birthday is to arrive soon and you have yet to be wedded."

Her face paled immediately, yet Ho Dong brushed off her instantaneous pallor and continued, "These are all wedding invitations... My Lady, I behold you to proposals for arranged marriages with several kings. There's King Henri of France; King James of England; there's the Holy Roman Emperor, and then there's Prince William of Orange, and..."

None of them contained Lu Han.

At that, she felt her heart sink. But she didn't intervene with Ho Dong's elated yapping. She let him continue until he was completely finished, and dismissed him without another word. With that, she sunk back into her chair, her slender fingers runnng frenetic hands through the locks of her silvery blonde hair. She felt close off and it felt as if all her airways were closed. She could hardly breathe, and the only thing she could hear was the pounding of her feverish heart thrashing against the threshold of her ribcage.

This wasn't the reality she wanted. She wanted Lu Han.. but Lu Han was but a dream.

Can she escape reality, and return to her surreal abyss instead?

She laughed pathetically to herself, a somber look of condescending scorn plastered across her scornful features. "No.."

...that I could miss you so much.