I updated two chapters fairly quickly so for anyone that hasn't been online a day or two, make sure to read chapter 7 first.  Chapter 9 will be up fairly soon as well.  Enjoy <3

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I nervously cleaned waiting for Seungho to show up.  He called about 20 minutes ago saying he was on his way.  There was something severely off about his tone of voice.  When I answered he greeted me coldly. 
“Yoboseyo?”
“We need to talk.  Be there in 30 minutes.  Bye.” 

My stomach churned unsure of what to make of the situation.  I paced so much I left a mark in the carpet.  On top of that I slowly felt a cold coming on, most likely due to stress and possibly germs I caught from the hospital.  The doorbell rang and my heart jumped.  I was quick to answer. 
“Seungho oppa,” I playfully said, hiding my fear behind my smile.  He barely acknowledged me as he nudged right past.  I noticed the lunch box I made him earlier was in his hand.  He set it on my kitchen counter. 
“Do you have any tea made?”  He said, glancing at the tea kettle. 
“I can make some if you would like.” 
“No, it’s fine.”  He sighed and sat down at the kitchen table.  I joined him. 
“Did something happen?” I asked, caressing a side of his face.  His eyes nearly looked as if someone had died, or something inside of him did.  He took a breath then spoke. 
“Did you and Joon used to date?”  It was the question I was dreading.  I pulled my hand back and set it on my lap.  His eyes lifelessly stared through me trying to find the right way to put it.  It would be senseless to lie about it. 
“Yeah,” I barely got out.  I cleared my throat and lowered my head, fearing to look in his eyes.  He moved slightly back in his chair making it creak.  The only other sounds were silence and the loud clicking tick of the clock on the kitchen wall.  I expected to be reprimanded but his voice came out only audible as a whisper. 
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”  He didn’t sound upset, just heartbroken.  I wanted to just lean over and kiss him but he felt so distant.  When I thought about it, I wasn’t completely sure but had to say something. 
“Because  I didn’t want to hurt you.” 
“It hurts that you didn’t tell me.”  He was quick to say it.  His tone with a slight bit of anger but he pulled back. 
“Listen, I never thought it through.  He’s just an ex and means nothing.”  I wasn’t quite sure myself if my feelings had all disappeared, but I assumed that’s what he wanted to hear. 
“No feelings at all?”  His arms were crossed; I didn’t know what to think.  I shook my head.  “I have another question.”  What could it possibly be now? 
“What is it?” 
“Is it true that he kissed you the other night?”  I could have sworn my heart temporarily stopped beating for a second.  The air in my lungs became thick and my chest felt tight.  My biggest regret as of recent was presented right before me.  I hung my head in shame, slowly nodding it up and down.  I heard the chair shift back and I covered my head expecting him to hurt me.  I deserved it enough.  There was no such attack though, just a heavy breath from him.  It had to be worse for him than it was for me. 

“Why did you let him?”  He was forcibly keeping himself from shouting but I knew it was killing him. 
“I didn’t have a choice!”  I cried. 
“So wait,” his tone changed.  “He forced himself on you?”  I could see his hand turning into a fist on the table. 
“That’s not exactly the case,” I muttered.  I couldn’t let Changsun be all of the blame.  In fact, I guess I did have a choice. 
“Then tell me what happened.”  He grabbed ahold of my arms, begging for the truth.  He was close to tears of his own.  I knew he wouldn’t like it but I had to tell him the only thing was sure of. 
“I don’t know what happened.  It just did.” 
“It just did?  Yeah, I’m sure.”  He pushed me away when letting go, turning himself to the side.  I wanted to curl into a ball.  As I wiped a tear, he quickly snapped around and spoke again.  “Did you like it?” 
“What?”  He leaned a little closer and spoke louder. 
“I said did you like it?”  Everything inside me was screaming at me to say no but I couldn’t do it.  I tried so hard to just shake my head but something was holding me back.  My thoughts were scrambled, running through my mind at a million miles an hour.  I assume I seemed expressionless to him when he sat there impatiently waiting for an answer.  For some reason, I couldn’t give him one.  I couldn’t mutter out the words he should hear.  I sat there frozen in my place.  Finally, it appeared my time to answer ran up.  “You can’t give me an answer?”  I watched as a tear rolled down his face.  “Then I guess we’re done here.”  He got up from his chair.  I had to do something. 
“Seungho!” I cried out still frozen in my place. 
“Yeah?”  His voice was weak. 
“I don’t know what’s going on with me, but I love you.”  I saw tears begin to drip from his eyes faster.  Without a sound he wiped off what he could. 
“I’m really hurt.”  The words could’ve gone unsaid.  I hurried to my feet and tried to give him a hug, but he backed away.  “I can get over the fact you two dated, I can get over the fact that he kissed you, but I can’t get over the fact you can’t tell me he meant nothing or the fact you never told me any of this.  It’s just as bad as lying.” 
“Seungho, I…I” I choked on the tears that were now flowing steadily.  “I didn’t mean to-“
“Of course you didn’t.”  He started towards the door.  I wanted him so bad to stay.  I wrapped myself around his arm preventing him from moving. 
“Please, we can talk this out.” 
“There’s nothing to say.”  He tried to shake me off.
“But you don’t understand!”  I had yet to even understand.  He took another breath trying to gather himself. 
“I just need some time to think.” 
“Think about what?”
“Just on how to take this!”  He yelled, I let go.  Seeing he startled me he calmed down again.  “There is nothing worse than someone breaking my trust.  It might seem like nothing to you but you broke it.  I need some time to forgive you.” 
I hated it, but he was right.  I had to let him be and hope he would come back.  “I understand.”  I wiped my tears and tried to be strong for him. 
“You should sort out your feelings as well,” he suggested.  With that, he opened the door. 
“Seungho…” I choked out once more. 
“Ne.” 
“Please remember that I love you and I’m sorry.” 
“I will.” 

With that, he left.  Not a hug, not a kiss, nor even a glance.  There was nothing I could do but sit and wait. 

***

Joon’s P.O.V.

“Hey,” G.O. greeted me as I walked into the dorm.  “What happened to your eye?” 
“I ran into a door,” I quickly replied.  He knew I was lying but didn’t want to ask any further. 

Mir took forever to pick me up.  I completely forgot he had only been to the gym once and he wasn’t the driver.  I’ve never known someone that could be worse with following a GPS than him.  The simple command of ‘turn right’ would send him into a frenzy.  By the time he arrived I was basically sobered up and just told him to leave.  He was disappointed to drive all the way for nothing but I didn’t want to leave my car there if it wasn’t needed.  Luckily Seungho’s car was long gone before I even reached the parking lot.  The last thing I wanted to do was run into him. 

I decided to take a drive to somewhere random.  My head was pulsing in pain from Seungho’s punch and I can’t open my left eye.  I forgot how strong he could be.  Once you get him in the wrong mood, he’ll charge at you like a raging bull.  I’m sure when he hits that point all he could see is red.  Funny enough, now I can barely see at all. 

I stopped a spot that was familiar to me but I couldn’t figure out why.  It was a place I could just sit in my car and enjoy the view, or well, half the view.  A few other cars were parked on either side and couples were standing together overlooking the edge.  I simply kept my eyes on the beautiful skyline of the city in the distance.  The spot seemed so much higher than the rest of the world and gave me goose bumps.  My sudden shot of vertigo reminded me of when I was here before. 

*

“Wow, would you look at the stars?”  Alex leaned in my arms and pointed to the sky.  We sat on the trunk of my car in the brisk winter breeze.  I was freezing layered up in my puffy jacket.  She was dressed a bit cooler but huddled under a blanket with me.  Her eyes were gazing at the dark night while mine were too busy worrying about what was down below. 
“We’re really high up,” I remarked nervously, suddenly feeling a bit dizzy.  She giggled at my fear. 
“Don’t worry we’re fine.”  I was always amazed how brave she could be.  Noticing I was still shaking from the height she got out from underneath the blanket and walked to the thin fence keeping us from impending doom.
“Yah, don’t get too close,” he commanded.  She just waved me off. 
“Wow, that fall is huge,” she teased.  I ran to her side and grabbed her, afraid she would tumble.  The lack of lights made me fear for her safety even more. 
“Hey, don’t scare me like that!”  My expression was serious but she only took it as a joke. 
“You’re high up on stage platforms all the time.  This should be nothing.” 
“Yeah but people are there if I get hurt,” I was quick to defend.  She could see my concern and unarguably walked back to the car holding my hand. 
“Just look up and you’ll feel safe.”   I sighed and decided to take her advice.  I wrapped her in my arms and watched the clouds pass by the moon.  My fear seemed to melt away as she pointed out constellations.  She rested against me as a shooting star went overhead.  “Make a wish,” she said.  I closed my eyes and counted to three.  I opened my eyes and felt her snuggle closer.  “I hope your wish comes true,” she yawned.
“It already has,” I whispered, then kissed her forehead and watched her fall asleep. 

*

My stomach rumbled.  The liquor in my system cancelled out any food from earlier.  I didn’t have any cash on me but I dreaded the chance of running into Seungho from going straight home.  There was one other place I figured he might be, so I decided to check there first. 

I stopped outside of Alex’s apartment and saw his car.  I knew he would be there.  I couldn’t help but wonder what he must be saying.  I bet he asked her about what happened but I’m curious what she told him.  She was at fault too even though she might not admit it.  I don’t know why I did it, just that she looked beautiful in the moment.  It reminded me of when we were together and her habit of taking care of me.  It’s not something I asked for but it wasn’t something I would refuse.  She had been acting weird around me so I thought that was what she wanted.  No, I wanted that to be what she wanted.  I was stupid to do it. 

Suddenly, I see Seungho walking out of the building.  Not wanting to be caught, I quickly move my car to another spot and hide.  The look on his face tells me something went wrong.  He wasn’t one to cry often but tears were freely falling.  What did this mean?   Maybe she wants me again and told him to leave.  No, she’s not the type to be that way.  I had to see how she was.  Once Seungho drove away, I quietly walked up to the door.  I steadied my finger over the doorbell ringer but couldn’t bring myself to do it.  What if she answered the door and rejected me?  That would only make matters worse.  I had to figure out something.  That’s when I got the idea: she had a window.  I stealthily made my way only hoping for a peak between the blinds.  I checked around to make sure there weren’t any witnesses to me doing something rather creepy.  I only needed to see for a second what was going on with her.  Of all days, she had to have the blinds down.  If I got close enough though, I’d be able to see through a small crack.  I leaned up against the window and with my only good eye tried to see.  There she was in the kitchen but I couldn’t see her face.  She was slouching at the table.  Perhaps they did have a fight.  I had to be sure.  I moved up a bit hoping to see through a higher spot.  This time I managed to see her face.  My heart sunk to see tears coming from her eyes.  She looked so wore out.  I wanted so bad to break through the window and comfort her but that would be a terrible idea.  Instead I just watched helplessly behind the glass.  My angel was hurt.  Or well, once was my angel.  Maybe I should wait by the door and hope she answers. 

“What are you doing?”  Someone shouts my direction.  I jump back, startled by the voice.  I was caught. 
“Erm, nothing,” I say and rush to my car.  The last thing I needed were police called on me for suspicious activity.  I decided to just drive home for the time being.  That’s when I ran into G.O.

“You should probably put ice on that eye,” he suggested.  “A black eye is a lot to cover up with makeup.  They won’t be too happy with filming.”  I sighed and took a seat at the counter.  He grabbed an ice pack out of the freezer and tossed it my direction.  It burned as I put it against my swollen eye. 
“Thanks,” I weakly said, laying my head on the counter. 
“Do you want anything to eat?”  He asked to my surprise.  I suppose it was his way of comforting me. 
“Sure.”  He prepared a cup of ramen and grabbed a bottle of something.  He sat down beside me and poured me a glass.
“I’m not sure what happened but liquor might help.”  I glanced up to see it was soju.  That already got me in trouble once that day but I didn’t want to reject the offer.  I quickly gulped it down.  Just then I noticed the dorm was oddly quiet.  I didn’t see Seungho’s car outside, so I assumed he took off somewhere to cool down. 
“Where is everyone?”  I asked.
“Thunder is with his girlfriend and Mir is napping.  Seungho said earlier he was spending the night with Alex.”
“I don’t think that’s happening,” I mumbled.  He heard me. 
“Wae?  Did something happen?” 
Why did that even come out of my mouth?  It shouldn’t have been my business in the first place.  Maybe I should tell G.O. because he’d be the first to hear about it when Seungho got back.  I sighed and accepted my fate. 
“Alex and I have a past.  Seungho just found out.” 
“You what?”  He got himself a shot ready.  “When?  How long?”
“A little over six months ago we broke up.”
“Wow, so, right before they started dating?” 
“Basically.”
“Well, that could drive a man crazy.  Knowing his girlfriend was with one of his best friends before.  I wouldn’t worry too much about Seungho though.  He’s stolen a few girls from friends, this time he just didn’t know it.” 
“I don’t think that’s the whole problem.” 
“Why, is there something else?”
“Well,” I can’t believe I was saying it again.  G.O. would likely punch me in the other eye.  “I sort of…” I was hesitant, “kissed her.”  I just waited to be smacked. 
“Kissed her?”
“Seungho made her pick me up from the hospital.  It happened then.” 
G.O. shook his head in disapproval, smacking me across the back of mine.  “Not a good call.”
“I’m aware.”  G.O. grabbed the finished cooking ramen and set it in front of me. 
“Eat well and just take it easy.  I wouldn’t recommend talking to Seungho for a few days but when you do, you should probably give him a huge apology.”  Why should I have to apologize to him?  She’s the one that deserved my apology.  Thinking about what I did it made me feel lower than a person. 

Just my luck, the door had to open and Seungho walked in.  I avoided eye contact as much as possible but did notice him glaring at me.  When he headed my direction I noticed G.O. get up from his seat. 
“Hey, let’s go out for a drink,” G.O. said to him.  He threw his arm around Seungho’s shoulder being the friend Seungho probably needed.  I just kept to myself. 
“I think I rather just go to bed,” he said, nudging him off.  He passed me without a word.  G.O. grabbed a few bottles of liquor and followed him. 
“Let’s have a few drinks and chat,” he told him.  Only a few seconds later then I heard Seungho’s door close shut.  Now it was just me alone at the kitchen counter.  I finished my ramen and headed to my own room. 

I had to do something.