This isn’t an addiction. Daniel is perfectly happy with his long-term girlfriend who he’s very much in love with, why would he need anyone else — look anywhere else? He doesn’t. Which is how come he’s not cheating on her. Because kissing someone he’s not remotely interested in, not in love with, isn’t cheating. Meeting up with said person in secret in a secluded place isn’t cheating either. Daniel doesn’t have it in him to cheat anyway. He’s not that type of person, he couldn’t do that to another human being. It’s disgusting. He’s not cheating on her.

He isn’t pushed against the wall like the mortar will crumble under him by strong, Herculean hands. He’s not kissed raw by bow-shaped lips, making his own pair swell up, coloured rogue. Cheeky lips certainly don’t make their way to his neck the way her’s won’t, lingering long enough to leave a mark but don’t — thank God! He doesn’t hide a smirk by biting onto his plump lips that sting under the pressure, raw and sensitive.

His heart doesn’t jump like a skip in a song when those hands rip apart his button up like an animal, because it means he has to buy another now. There’s no rush of adrenaline when he’s subtly pushed onto his knees and pressed against — what is he doing?! Not cheating. Not cheating.

He doesn’t even like guys.

Daniel’s breath doesn’t stop when there’s a whisper in his ear. So eager. He’ll be rewarded for patience, like this isn’t some game they play. There isn’t a growl from above him and a hitch in breathing because Daniel. Is. Not. Cheating.

Get on the bed.

He doesn’t scramble onto the blankets and sheets, because he’s not really there. He’s studying with Chanhee — that’s what he’ll say. Daniel isn’t shuddering with want as he waits patiently for his partner who isn’t undressing at the foot of the bed, eyes dark, glazed, locked with his. She doesn’t linger in the back of his mind like a sceptre. Her smile doesn’t haunt him or tear through him with guilt. There’s no tears building in the corner of his eyes. No-one kisses them away like they were never there, no-one holds onto him reminding him of what he really wants what he isn’t doing.

He loves her.

Daniel loves her.

A mark is left of his inner thigh, just for them, as nails are dragged down his abdomen. He doesn’t quiver or shake. He doesn’t gasp for air or cling desperately like he’s falling. He doesn’t cry because the intensity of it, he cries because he’s not cheating.

He looks at him, and he’s scared. He’s scared of himself, scared of what he’s doing, what he’s become. He can’t do this. Minsoo looks back at him, pity lurking in the corner of his eyes. He holds him with warm arms like Daniel will stop being scared. Soft, warm skin. Daniel is reminded that she has soft, warm skin too.

Daniel doesn’t stay.

Of course he doesn’t.

But when he sees her, holds her in his arms like he just did and kisses her because she’s perfect (like he just did), he cries inside.

He can’t do it to another person, someone as beautiful and perfect as her. With her kind smile, and cute but strange sense of humour.

So he doesn’t.

Wow... angst. Angst everywhere. Omg I didn't really know what to do for this prompt but this happened so... Hope you liked it? I'm having trouble with the next one; 'Stare' so... it might be a while 'till the next update ;;; mianhae TT Thank you for reading~!

P.S Thank you AFF for messing up my indents, that's really helpful of you, thanks!