epilogue

The lights were dim and everything was so surreal. Each corner of the room was poorly lit and the windows were barred. A small bed lay before my feet where I slumped down against the pearly white walls. My arms were weak as I buried my face to my knees. Silence. The silence was killing me.

“Are you sure he’s well enough? No tantrums? Nothing – unusual?” a familiar voice asked from behind the door.

“He was traumatized, sir. He’ll never be the same again. Fortunately, I think he’s well enough to leave. He hasn’t been causing any trouble lately. “

A loud creaking caused me to shift my gaze up-- where the door was slowly opened. There stood manager hyung. He wore a black suit and had a phone pressed against his ear. “It’s time to go, Yixing-ah,” he said, stretching out a hand towards my direction. I pushed myself up and took slow footsteps towards him, but he quickly patted my back and urged me to walk faster.

“Everything will be alright. The doctors said that you’re well enough to leave. I’m sending you back to China to be with your parents, okay? I—I’ll take care of the press.” He said as he bit his lower lip.

“H-have they found--?” I choked out. My throat was sore and I could barely speak.

Hyung shook his head and rested a hand on my shoulder. “They’re still missing, but don’t worry. We’ll find them. I know it’s tough for you, but it’s tough for everyone else as well. I – I don’t even know what to tell their parents,” he said quietly. I’ve never seen him like this. The person who seemed so strong and courageous was here, standing before me with glassy eyes. I knew exactly what he felt, maybe even a hundred times worse. After all, I was there, yet I didn’t do anything to stop it.

“EXO is no more.”

He told the truth so harshly. I felt my jaw clench but there was nothing I could do about it because it was true. It was all so true. Every word was the solemn truth.

***

A year later

Time passed by quickly. It seemed like only yesterday when I last saw him; when I last heard his voice.

No.

Time didn’t pass by as quick as you might think. Everyday was a nightmare.

Opening my eyes to the sound of the chirping birds seemed like a burden. There were no delusions that could hide the truth that I bear inside. I dared not to share this knowledge with anyone else, not even our manager. This—this was something that needed to be kept a secret.

Was it shame that kept it inside? Disgrace, perhaps?

Nothing could have separated us before all this happened, before greed and power took over and ruined us. Before the need of control was far more important than equality.

I didn’t find it unusual. These things happen, and we all know that. We all know that greed and envy are sins, don’t we? No, perhaps not all of us do.

I didn’t. We didn’t. We were not aware of our actions, of how much we boasted our fame and fortune to our brothers, who stared covetously at our filthiness. What would a leader have done? Surely, he would want to take that all away, wouldn’t he? He wouldn’t want s to suffer. I would have done the same thing, I would have wanted to end their envy. But not like this.

Jongdae-- who only followed our orders-- was burned to death in an open furnace, pushed by the person who was once so bubbly and full of character—Chanyeol. Why would he have done such thing? Was he, too, just following orders? Dancing Machine Chen, our fans would call him—but he would never be able to hear about it again. If Chanyeol disobeyed Junmyeon, would Jongdae be still alive today?

Just like Jongin, Baekhyun was changed. He was no longer the childish Baekhyun we all knew. This new Baekhyun carried a gun and was expressionless. This person was a stranger to me. Although, a part of me grieved for him when Luhan’s shots pierced his small body (even though I did not witness it). The old Baekhyun had to be somewhere, but now he’s nowhere to be found.

Minseok—who was ordered to close the furnace—locked the body of his bestfriend to be burned into ashes. Every step towards the furnace must’ve been terrib