chapter eleven

“Jongin could be anywhere,” I said sternly. “Junmyeon is most likely hiding. Do we go after them?”

Yifan squeezed my hand and and shook his head. The old duizhang would go after them and get revenge, even for the littlest things. This duizhang was different. He was mettlesome and clever. His actions seemed like the stupidest things to do but they always ended up in good results. He refused when I asked him about taking revenge. I trust him. He has probably got something better in mind.

The sun’s blinding rays of light that seeped through the cracks of the clearstory were now replaced with wispy dimness of the crescent moon and the heavy pitter-patters of the pouring rain. Each droplet of rain sounded like the shattering of a dreadful day rightfully breaking into pieces. Each droplet representing a memory that must be long forgotten and soon vaporize into nothingness.

It was the end of day 2 . Tao , Luhan, and Sehun died today. Most likely Chanyeol, as well – no doubt he was killed by Jongin when he helped us – but his help was worth nothing because we didn’t even follow the directions he told us to go. He sacrificed his life to make sure that we made it out alive, but we failed. We’re going to fail .

“We need weapons, duizhang. We’ll die if –“

“Don’t call me duizhang. I’m not a duizhang. I’ve failed my job and I have no right to accept that respectable title. The people I have sworn to protect were hurt and later deceased. I don’t need to make it out alive in this bloodbath, Yixing. You do. I need to make sure I save someone. Please – please stay alive – for me. Don’t let me die a failure,” he said as he placed the back of his hand against my bruised cheek, slowly tracing the curve of my jaw to my nape – the traces of his fingers still full of life where they last touched. He curled his fingers and my eye twitched – my ticklish, sensitive skin ruining the moment.

His lips curved a bit , making that infamous half-smile he likes to do to tease me. “I’ll miss this,” he chuckled and bent down, softly pressing his lips just where mine were. It burned , but maybe that’s what attracted me to him. The brave fire he ignited to put my guard down. The kiss seemed desperate, as if it’s the last one we’ll ever have. I gently pushed him away and turned around to bury my face in my hands.

He rested a hand on my shoulder but I quickly shoved it away. “You kissed me – as if you were saying goodbye,” I whispered, refusing to look at him. “How could you do that? I promised you that I’ll live, but what about me ? Aren’t you going to promise me that you’ll survive as well? Is that it? As long as I’m alive, everyone else can die?”

No matter how hard I tried to resist, I let his warm body envelop me. He buried his face in my neck and his heavy breaths were in perfect rhythm with mine. “I can’t make promises I can’t keep,” he said softly. His warm tears trickled down , moistening my nape. His words cut through me like a thousand knives. He tried to convince me to accept his death with open arms, but that was something I would never do. If it’s his job to protect me, then I must have a reason for living this long as well. My job is to protect him .

He pulled away. His eyes were moist and glassy, but the smile he wore told a different story. I laced my fingers around his and bit my lip, looking elsewhere while he stared at me. “Where do we get the weapons?” I asked quietly.

“I think we passed by the weapons room eariler. Do you want to go back and check?”

I nodded as we made our way back to the hall.

***

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you –“ they sang joyfully, burying my head in confetti and wrapping paper. They laughed and pushed each other for a better view of the huge cake that stood before me.

“Blow it!” Jongdae excalimed , clasping his hands together.

Junmyeon sighed and glared at Jongdae. “erted bastard, really.”

Minseok playfully shoved Jongdae aside and buried his hand on Jongdae’s face, refusing to take it off even when Jongdae tried to pry it off his face. “You have to make a wish first, babo,” Minseok shouted.

I squeezed my eyes shut and carefully blew out the candles. Everyone cheerfully clapped and yelled, patting my shoulder and ruffling my hair.

“What did you wish for, Yixing?” Kyungsoo asked curiously, Jongin’s arm wrapped around his waist.

The whole ro