“You, an idol?”

Himchan tried to keep himself from bursting into laughter, the way the salami hung unceremoniously at the corner of Jonghyun’s face was simply too funny for him to handle. He proceeded to close the other young man’s mouth for him which was still hanging open since he spoke those three words.

“Wait, wait, let me get this straight,”

Jonghyun repeats again, probably unaware that he wiped the wrong side of his face and more mayo smears on his chin as he continues to speak.

“So, Himchan, that’s you, vain, awkward, Casanova tryhard Himchan is planning to become an idol in some nameless agency?”

“I am not--!” Himchan pondered over the description, “a tryhard!”

He playfully takes the fallen salami off of Jonghyun’s lap and proceeded to throw the cold cut on his face.

“Eww, dammit! Seriously man, super gross!”

A couple of flying cold cuts later, Himchan finds himself seated next to a seriously pondering Jonghyun. The other man looks hard at him, as if waiting for something to happen as he lifts an eyebrow, then another, asking for another word to be said.

“Does he know?”

Jonghyun nudges his head, directing Himchan’s gaze to the basketball court.

“Suho? No, he doesn’t know,”

“What are you going to tell him, after refusing him and his agency, now you’re signing into some unknown company?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t thought about anything yet,”

More silence.

 “What?” Himchan finally asks the other man as he tries to dust off the rest of his school uniform, if only to make sure that no morsel of food was left. He absent mindedly looks at the smeared mustard and mayonnaise on is navy pants, That’s going to be a to wash, he tells himself.

“Look man, I don’t understand, I don’t understand you at all,” he began.

Jonghyun heaves a small sigh, shakes his head, now adorned with light brown hair. He scratches the side of his head, as if out of frustration. He looks at Himchan once more, furrowing his eyebrows before turning his head elsewhere as he shakes his head again.

“What? Come on, man,” Himchan nudges the light haired boy once more, before he slumps on the bench. The noises of the students around them start drowning in the silence that Jonghyun has placed Himchan under.

Himchan doesn’t say a word, but just keeps a watchful eye on his friend. They haven’t been friends for a long time, maybe just a couple of years – he already lost count, but the time they’ve been friends – Jonghyun has already become such a significant person in his life.

“I don’t even know where to start, man,” Jonghyun begins. He heaves one more sigh as he slumps back on the bench, looking up at the sky.

“I don’t get why you’re fine with joining this one but you refused me so many times!” Himchan notes the falling of the man’s shoulders.

“I don’t understand why you’re more willing to sign up for some unknown company, and you’ve refused signing up with mine – so many times!” no matter how he tried, the agitation in his body showed. Jonghyun abruptly stands up, trying to shake the irritation off of his body.

“You’re the one we need, Channie! We need you in our team, all you need to do is come with me, heck, even just send a message – you’re with us, nothing else,” he says, with furrowed brows and pleading eyes, looking the sitting man straight in the eye.

“Maa, Jong, I’m not the guitarist you’re looking for, CNBLUE will go on fine without me,” he smiles, fiddling with his collar, while distracting himself with the various sights behind the other man. The other drops all other pretenses and sits next to him, a little closer, maybe a little too close.

“My company already successfully debuted a good band, heck, even a number of good artists, are you sure you want to risk your future in some unknown agency? You didn’t even want to be an idol in the first place,” he says, as if hoping to convince the other guy.

“Remember? You kept refusing me, because you said the lime light isn’t for you, then you said maybe you might try becoming an actor since you’re already popular around here, then suddenly you said – ”

There was a notable change in his expression and posture, Himchan couldn’t quite paint the words or describe it, but maybe, beyond frustration, the man was disappointed in him.

“You said – you’re not sure show business is for you, it wasn’t for me either but I tried to do a leap of faith… and now… now you’re here, telling me that you’re going elsewhere – without me even knowing,”

The other eyes him intently, no words were exchanged for a moment, both a bit exhausted with the exchanges that didn’t push through. Himchan thought long and hard of things to say, must he explain himself? What should he say?

For the time that Jonghyun had known him, Himchan has always been indecisive, unsure and widely unconfident about himself. Being one of the most talented students in their music classes, Jonghyun always had the confidence that one day, Himchan will be training next to him as an artist. However, no matter how many times he had tried, Himchan always found an excuse to shut him down, and he never did succeed with tagging the other man along. What changed? Maybe, just maybe, it was something that Jonghyun could change, maybe it was something that he could help – but what if?

“I hate to pin this down on you and be that guy, Channie,” he starts, trying to clear his throat to seem more serious,

Interest piqued, Himchan leans towards him to catch the sound of his baritone.

“I don’t suppose… it’s about that guy, is it?” he states factually.

“W—what guy?” a bit alarmed, tense. Jonghyun notes the change in Himchan’s pitch, and in the way his shoulders tensed up a bit.

“I told you, I hate to be that guy, but I’ve tagged you along so many times and not once did you budge, what happened? What changed? I want to know – no, I need to know.” He says, raising his voice a bit.

Himchan’s mind went on a quick mind carousel. The memories spun inside his head, the past year, and the months that came after was nothing short of an adventure. Heck, even last week, just the bit about the apartment and the photos in his cellphone was nothing short of an exciting adventure for him. But Jonghyun’s implications hurt a nerve in Himchan, he didn’t like whatever it was that he was insinuating.

“So it is about him, isn’t it? Dammit Himchan, are we back to this again?!”

“No! We’re not back to--!”

Himchan didn’t mean to raise his voice. He didn’t mean to raise his voice so loudly. He didn’t mean to stand up abruptly, throwing his bags and notes to the floor. No, Himchan, he didn’t mean for the entire school quadrangle to hear him. But he did. Still, he didn’t mean it.

He bows his head a bit, with Jonghyun following suit. The other man quickly rushes to the floor, dusting off the notes with dirt.

“I don’t want you going back to 2007, Himchan, God ing dammit.” He murmurs under his breath, as he collects Himchan’s things. He blindly takes all the man’s books and tugs his arms along as they breezily walked past the students in the quadrangle. He murmurs further with every word.

“If this sudden shift in dreams is all about you chasing another guy that potentially doesn’t feel the same, I swear to God I will ing—” he stops, the arm he held had stiffened, maybe he talked too much.

He looks behind him, to see Himchan’s eyes, looking a bit surprised, but softening a bit as the seconds pass.

“I… I’m sorry, Channie, I was just a bit—” he begins, but gets cut off.

“It’s just that, this guy,” the other man began.

“It’s just that this guy, he made me feel like anything is possible, that anything is possible with me,” he continues.

“With me, Jonghyun, did you hear that? He made me feel like I can do anything,” he says once more, stress on his words, as he takes a step closer towards the guy. Jonghyun looks at the mix of emotions in Himchan’s eyes. He looks a bit pained, but at the same time, a bit hopeful and happy. Jonghyun thinks that he has to make up for what he said, he hit a nerve – he knows, but perhaps that is a problem for another day.

“I know that you’re looking out for me. You were there when I went crazy stupid, but, I just want to think that maybe there’s a reason why all those things happened, and there’s a reason why I met this guy. He’s different, and with his difference he made me realize a lot of things.” Himchan says again, with sincerity and hope in his voice.

“Aww, man, that makes me feel all jealous and ,” Jonghyun smiles, as he takes the other man by his neck, wrapping his arm around it as he drags him through the hallway. He tells him all about training and what to expect, as well as how stupid Himchan was to sign up with a bunch of strangers when he could have easily signed up with him and his agency, and have someone a lot smarter look after him. He keeps getting rewarded with Himchan’s laughs and elbow.

They have been through a lot, but if there is anything that Jonghyun knows – it’s that Himchan cannot be persuaded easily, it would take a whole lot of effort before he can be bent. However, if there’s anything he knows most about Himchan, it is that he’ll do anything for love. He may be dense, and all that crap, but he’s faithful and fiercely loyal, even if the love is not reciprocated back.

Jonghyun snorts at the idea. Chasing, all roundabout, Himchan chasing a love that he feels he deserves, unaware – with Jonghyun right at his tail.

Minutes later, Himchan walks off, with a huge smile plastered on his face as he bids his friend goodbye. And at the distance, Jonghyun looks on, as Himchan eagerly runs to the man by the gate, that Jonghyun might just hate.

---

Author’s note: Twenty chapters after, some new characters : )