Days, weeks and a couple of months passed by. Himchan felt like things were just routinely going past him. He continued with his daily routines and things weren’t really all that different, except that, for the most part – there was Yongguk.

Himchan prayed long and hard before he slept that fateful night when Yongguk came over after weeks of being evaded. He prayed that maybe, hopefully, Yongguk would stay the night. It doesn’t really mean that once he stays, he’ll never leave his side – but at least, that night when he needed him the most, he prayed long and hard to wake up next to him. And that, he did.

Days went on and on and every morning, Himchan found himself getting greeted by Yongguk. He would come early in the morning, with a bag of bread, a couple of noodles and sometimes some pancakes he was sure the man just got for free from the café nearby. Of course, Himchan knows how long that little waitress had been crushing on Yongguk, but he’s not going to complain, after all, he gets pancakes and waffles for free every now and then.

Yongguk would leave him moments after, after walking some time with him just to see him off to his University. Sometimes, Himchan would wonder how much time Yongguk really had on his hands – maybe much, as it seemed like he had enough time to see him after class and later on to his odd part time jobs. On weekends, he would walk with Himchan to the company, to convene with the managers about his contract. Yongguk always put on a different face on the office. He was a lot more reserved, and always wore a stern face while discussing the Himchan’s contract with the company. If they didn’t know better, like Himchan, they would think that Yongguk was actually Himchan’s handler.

“You were quick to sign with us, but you’re really scrutinizing his contract, if I didn’t know better I’d think you’re his manager,” one of the producers laughed in jest, amazed at how well Yongguk was nitpicking the terms of the contract. Yongguk broke a little smile, looked up from the contract and nodded.

“I just want the best for him,”

“If you’re looking out for him, I’m pretty sure he already has it,”

I do.

Hopefully.

---

Himchan was not going to lie, he felt comforted, and maybe a little calmer – but he was not all that better. He scanned the building with his eyes – his eyes wandering to its height as he froze in his steps. The man in front of him had already walked a couple further from him, only to stop in wonder, where his friend had gone. The man looks back at him, his eyes registering a hint of worry. Himchan knows that he was trying to mask his worry with his small jokes and his eye smile, but knowing him for some time now, Himchan knows Yongguk never really stopped worrying about him. Even after weeks have already passed and after they have finalized the contract, Himchan could detect the tinge of worry in Yongguk’s eyes, and the stern tone of his voice whenever he asked questions about Himchan’s contract.

You’re a good man, Yongguk.

“What’s wrong? The architecture’s not even that great, y’know?”, Yongguk quips in jest, after noticing that Himchan had fallen behind and had fixed his eyes on the building.

“Yeah,” was the only reply.

Yongguk resisted a frown, he wish he could – but he couldn’t, so he turns his face to the building trying to dispel the worry that was in his face. Himchan had his head running with a million excuses. “I think I left my stove open,” he thinks, maybe Yongguk will buy that. If he does, he’ll dart his way home. He’s done it before, maybe he can do it again.

“Yongguk, I think I left my –”

“I have all your stuff in my trust back pack,” Yongguk assures him, without looking back at him, eyes still on the building.

“No, I mean, I think my stove—”

“I checked everything before we left,” he flatly rejects him.

There’s no delaying this, Himchan thinks.

“Himchan, this ain’t anything big, or new,” he finally says. Himchan noted the deep breath the man just took in before clearing his throat. He noted the way Yongguk’s shoulders tensed up, as if he was trying his best not to drop them down in defeat. Without speaking a word, he takes a step to his left, if only to see a view of Yongguk’s face, and maybe, he could see whatever it was that Yongguk was trying to hide.

“I’ll… I’ll always be by your side, okay? I promise.”

Yongguk turned to him, a hint of a tear about to fall. He blinks them away, looks back up to the sky and closes his eyes. He breathes in smoothly, and lets the air out of his mouth. Still with his eyes close, he finally smiles once more. He looks back at Himchan, he still stood there motionless. He raised his hand, inviting, waiting.

“Let’s go,”

Yongguk never appeared to be quite the emotional man, he never appeared to be like one. But to someone who has known him as well as Himchan – Himchan should know better.

Casting his eyes down, Himchan smiles the first time that day, takes his hand and walks in.

---

“If there’s anything on your mind, just tell me, okay?” he told him once more, one night, while walking  home.

“I know, you’re always around,” Himchan smiled nudging the other man with his elbow.

Yongguk squints his face in a funny frown, “Am I smothering you?”

“Are you what?”

“Smothering?” he confirms.

“No, no way in hell you are,” he said, as he stops in his tracks. Yongguk laughs and slings his arm over Himchan’s shoulder. The man realizes he may have over acted a bit. But he was just weary that Yongguk might feel that way about him and that’s the least he wants in the world.

“Haha, good to know,” he says as he brings him closer to him.

“I’m just, worried, you know?” The thinner man says, as if shifting with ideas on his head. The last thing he wants Yongguk to feel is that he’s a bother – which he was not. But truth be told, it really did feel like Yongguk’s life was starting to revolve around him, and that wasn’t really a bad idea. Actually, that was a good one – however, he feels that Yongguk has already been dedicating a lot of time for him. He looks at him and knows that Yongguk had lost a lot of weight. It wasn’t the kind of weight you’d lose either by exercising. He seemed tired, and dried up. Himchan worries that maybe, just maybe, Yongguk was putting an awful lot of time on him and has started neglecting himself.

Yongguk loosens his grip on the other man. He sheepishly scratches the back of his neck, and as if trying to avert his gaze, he looks on the road ahead and acts as if he was stretching.

“Come on, Yongguk,” Himchan proceeds. “You’ve been picking me up and walking me off whenever,” he says. “I’m just… well, you’re making music now, and some days training on your rapping – and I know you still take stage gigs on Hongdae… but every morning,” he pauses, feeling Yongguk’s eyes on him.

“But every morning, you’re on my doorstep. Do you even rest? Do you still go home? I heard from Yongnam that you come home about 3am these days, how do you find the time to come see me sharp at seven? Yongguk, your home is a long commute to mine,” he finishes, head down, maybe looking a bit ashamed.

He doesn’t want him to stop, really. He loves the way he takes care of him, but seeing how tired he seems – he can’t just go through with that anymore.

“Himchannie,” he says, as if almost a whisper, as he looks at his feet, as if defeated.

“I just… I just want to be there for you, you know? Like you have been for me… and… I know it’s a difficult time for you right now, and I just want to always…” he trails off.

“And I’m thankful for that,” Himchan tells him.

It felt like an awful stretch of silence. Gingerly, Himchan rubs his fingers together, entirely unsure of what to do. Until finally, he feel the courage to touch the man’s arm, if only to make him feel how he has touched him in the past.

“I’m… I’m really thankful, Yongguk,” he starts.

“For you. I mean, for everything. You took me in this great and awesome world, changed how I see my life, and most of all – you’ve been taking care of me,”

Hopefully, loving me.

“But… I just feel that – I don’t know really.” He continues, trying not to impose.

“Yongguk, you… need to take care of yourself, too.”

Himchan saw it in his eyes. Yongguk tried to suppress his eyes from registering anything. He opened his mouth to speak, but purses them shut, as if trying to keep the words from leaving.

“Yongguk, you need to take care of yourself, too.” He repeats.

And then it left – the words Yongguk was trying to suppress, maybe.

“Then, take care of me. Take care of me, Himchannie.”

“Himchannie,” he repeats.

Yongguk turns to him, pressing his hand on top of Himchan’s own, the one Himchan had already forgotten about – firmly clasped on the man’s arm.

“Come live with me,”

---

A/N: I hope you haven’t forgotten about this story. I’m really sorry.