The winter night wind was cool and soothing. 

As I stepped onto the edge of the condominium rooftop, I opened my arms wide to greet the skies of the great big blue, now turned gray with the sun setting behind the mountains in the distance. I opened my arms also to wish it goodbye.

I took one last look at the world I had been in for 21 years. The birds were singing cheerfully though winter was coming, and they were totally oblivious to the storm that was going on inside of me. No one else knew either. Not my parents, not anyone down on the street 36 floors down, not the stupid chirping birds, and not even the black cat that was cleaning itself on the ledge beside me (Who cares if it was a black cat? My luck can't get any worse than it has now). It made me so angry that even though I was going to erase my existence, nothing was going to change and no one was going to care.

Pathetic, yes, I might be. However, I think that almost any girl my age would turn out like this after trying so hard and not reaching their dreams, being kicked around by people, and above everything not having anyone to believe in you or to hold on to. That's what hurts the most. 

And when I found out yesterday that I had a brain tumor and only had a year left to live, my soul was crushed but I was also secretly happy because my misery was soon to end. I got so impatient that I decided to end it all today. What is living if you can't do what you want to do? What is purpose if you can't even find out what you really want to do with your life? I guessed that maybe I was just a flaw, an accessory organ in this whole cosmic body that everyone would do better without. 

I opened my eyes to take in the rays of sunlight one last time. A deep breath, and I bent my knees to jump--

I never did. 

A song was playing somewhere. I didn't know where but it was echoing pretty loudly throughout the city. It was beautiful. I just had to stop and listen. I know I had heard this song somewhere before but I just couldn't remember. 

THAT VOICE!

4 letters came into my head in a flash: T-H-S-K. 

So that's why this song was so familiar. I had always been a fan of theirs but life happened. I ran away from home two years ago and I had to work 2 jobs and study at the same time, which gave me next to no time to listen to music anymore. 

But here it was, bringing me back to the good ol' days. Tears streamed down my face as I bathed in the sound that permeated the air. When was the last time that I had been moved so much like this? The lyrics, the melody, the rhythm, and their voices-- it was all perfect. I stepped back down from the ledge and sat down on the floor listening until the song ended. 

At that moment, I knew I had to find them. There had always been a question nagging at the back of my mind and I had always waited for opportunities to meet them. Unfortunately for me, I never had enough money to pay for even the general admission ticket, I wasn't very well acquainted with their fan base Cassiopeia so I never knew about fan meets and things like that. When I found out that they split up, I was devastated because I had been saving every cent that was not spent on necessities looking forward to the next time they would come here to perform as the five-membered Tohoshinki. It's just not the same. 

I decided that this would be my deathwish. To find Tohoshinki and Xiah Junsu and ask them that question that had always been at the back of my mind. But how do I do that? I was running out of money, I had exams (which actually no longer mattered), and I had no connections to get anywhere.

Suddenly, there was a sound of clapping and cheering, which puzzled me. 

"MINNA-SAN, DOUMO ARIGATO ONEGAISHIMASU!!" someone shouted through a microphone from far away.

I knew that high-pitched voice anywhere. My eyes grew wide. 

They were here in Japan.

In my city. 

And they were performing outdoors.